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How You Can Keep Happy 


° 


ON AMR WNo 


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adh gehen sl Se 


17. 


OTHER BOOKS 


BY 
Dr. WILLIAM S. SADLER 


AND 
Dr. LENA K. SADLER 


Cw 


THE CAUSE AND CuRE OF COLDs. 

THE SCIENCE OF LIVING. 

‘THE PuHysIoLoGcy OF FAITH AND FEAR. 

Worry AND NERVOUSNESS. 

THE MotTHer AND HER CHILD. 

How To REpucE AND How To GAIN. 

RacEe DECADENCE. 

WHAT A SALESMAN SHOULD Know Asout His 
HEALTH. 

PERSONALITY AND HEALTH. 

How To FEED THE Bapy. 

THE ESSENTIALS OF HEALTHFUL LIVING. 

THe TrutH Asout HEreEpIty. 

THE TRutH Asout MINpD CurRE. 

THE TRUTH ABOUT SPIRITUALISM. 

THE ELEMENTS OF PEP. 

AMERICANITIS: BLOOD PRESSURE AND NERVES. 

CoNSTIPATION—How To CurE YOURSELF. 


How You Can Keep Happy 


BY 


WILLIAM S. SADLER, M.D., F.A.C.S. 


Formerly Professor at the Post Graduate Medical School of Chicago; 
Senior Attending Surgeon to Columbus Hospital; Director of the 
Chicago Institute of Research and Diagnosis; Fellow of the 
American College of Surgeons; Fellow of the American 
Medical Association; Member of the Chicago Medi- 
cal Society, the Illinois State Medical Society, 
the American Public Health Association, 
etc, etc.) 


4 ani 
: 7 
* A PA Amer, 


Si ee ne 
TP form 


at ee Py 
; 4 vi 


AMERICAN HEALTH BOOK CONCERN 
CHICAGO 
1926 . 


Copyright 
1926 
WILLIAM S. SADLER 
Copyrighted in Great Britain 


Published December, 1926 


Printed in the United States of America 


‘ 


PREFACE 


A quarter of a century’s study of the subject of 
human happiness has convinced me that the joy of 
living is largely a question of emotional control; that a 
few of our inherited and acquired emotions and senti- 
ments, if allowed to dominate, fill us with joy; but, on 
the other hand, if many of our more primitive and less 
desirable emotions are allowed to gain the ascendancy, 
we are filled with sorrow, fear, and unhappiness. 

This book is divided into four parts, the first having 
to do with a discussion of the essentials of happiness, 
those problems in emotional control and conduct man- 
agement “which are absolutely essential to normal,” 


4) average, human_ happiness. Part II deals with the 


a spiness, those emotions ‘and ‘sentiments 
which, while not absolutely. essential to normal human 


deta ener 8 OS eat tad ess Noe: 


pe if reper « controlled, serve greatly to in- 


: give ‘first attention to the essentials of happiness, we 


should in no manner neglect these auxiliary influences 
and experiences which are so able to add to the sum 
total of human happiness, especially in the case of the 
better developed and more highly educated types of 
men and women. 

Part III deals with that group of influences, emo- 
tions, sentiments, etc., etc., which il 
Hee Ore interfere with the enjoyment of happiness. These 
are the little joy-killing demons that 1 invariably Wal on 


f over-indulged, invari=-"~ 


grief and usher in sorrow. They must become taboo 
in the lives of those who would enjoy the highest pleas- 
ures of living and experience the delights of real and 
abiding happiness. 

_ Part IV is devoted to a consideration. of the gssen- 
Reece a matter of ‘ ee climate,” the Eaakni of 
self-control is thoroughly discussed in this section. 

In an appendix will be found a full discussion of 
human emotions, sentiments, and convictions. This has 
been added for the benefit of those readers who might 
desire to pursue this phase of the study more fully. 

For twenty years my wife and professional co- 
laborer, Dr. Lena K. Sadler, collaborated with me in 
making notes of those influences and agencies which 
were productive or destructive of happiness in the lives 
of our patients. In fact, Dr. Lena has contributed so 
much to this work and has offered so many helpful 
suggestions that her name really should appear as co- 
author. And so, as this volume is sent forth on its mis- 
sion in the world, she joins with me in wishing that it 
may be the means of helping many sorrow-stricken and 
fear-ridden souls to find deliverance from their prison- 
house of depression and more fully to enjoy the de- 
lights of work, play, humor, and those other emotions 
and sentiments which are the ancestors of human hap- 


piness. 
WILLIAM S. SADLER. 


533 Diversey Parkway, Chicago. 
October, 1926. 


TABLE OF CONTENTS 


Part 1 THE ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 


Page 

1. Good Health—A Sound Body......... 4 
2. Congenial Work—Agreeable Employ- 

108 Ved 8) SiR Is ged aU ae HAM y: Bin 10 AR UN Aa 12 


3. Self-Control—Common Sense Discipline 30 
4. Human Companionship—Pleasant Asso- 


CLALIONS ors eee ide oe ee wi cmene ie 49 
5. Ambition—Personality-Pride ......... Dh 
6. Courage—Self-Confidence ........... 63 
7. Religion—Faith and Hope........... i 

Part Ii THE Luxuries or HApPINEsSs 

PWV ealth—-Ileisune eee eee bei 88 
PASM RA GA cn BV 412) ates MEIN earn ya i 4) PORE EEE 104 
So emucation——Caltures eal! aves ee 114 
UAT fem VAIS Ce ta M eee! lle le a losk la deadeny Cem ete 121 
Se L PAvel A CVENLULE day oc, oo oid cata ene Pah 
bu Laame--and Childrenn. 6. ooo dl cia ae 135 
PEA OECCH CTMOSODI is. kia che vdvela yrs whe 145 


Part III Joy Kirrers—Tue LITTLe oe 
Tuat Sport HAPPINESS” 


Bide g otters Pa ROM CU cue AS 166 


1 

2. Hurry—Nervous Tension ........... 172 
De NVOEEY——teMTONic) MEAP iy. Sie. cio Sales eg 181 
MED ESC PA VATANCE 5 oN kate sla ele esc 188 
Dy eooelish css——Pxalted Kgo. 2... 6... ei 193 
6. Suspicion—Intolerance .............. 1a) 
7 


Idleness—Loneliness ...........020% 208 


vii 


Page 

8. -Anger—Pugnacity: 5 iis ironnel a 214 
9... Hate—Revenge! ie ae ae 220 
10. Conscience—Emotional Conflicts ...... Pea | 


Part IV THE SECRETS OF EMOTIONAL CONTROL 
1. Nervous Slavery—Emotional Sprawls.. 237 
20) Taking Yourself in andi) eee 240 
3. Psychic Adjustment and Readjustment.. 245 
4. Tangled Emotions—Crossed Wires.... 247 , 
5. 
6. 


The Technic of Emotional Control..... 252 
Imagination in the Practice of Self-Con- 
trol ee er 255 


7. The Mischief of Uncontrolled Thinking 260 


APPENDIX: HUMAN EMOTIONS, INSTINCTS, AND 


SENTIMENTS | 
I Primary INSTINCTS AND EMOTIONS 
Dey Fear vk os al ee 266 
20) Disgust oy. 4.0). Ct 267 
3... Wonder... jag ee ee 268 
4. Elation o..044.3 423 ee 268 
5.. \Subjection. ./... pee 269 
6. Tenderness) 0920 See 269 
7. Sex-hun ger 40 ee eee 270 
8.» unger: j,i as Serer 271 
Of Security. z.) Ges i 271 
10... Hoarding i c8 es Sees ale 
11.) Pride‘of. Creation: Angas cee 273 
12. Anger 0). 0G... 0 eee ee a 
II SEcoNDARY oR ComposITE EMorIoNns 
1. Sympathy: (5 are ace ee 215 
2. Admiration + si 3o eye ee ieee: 276 


Ren L INI PACION ea suepeMeRaNCR eho mierda a Sie 276 
Ao Rivalry peta te ua cai aie Ot 277 
Fees MaMIty ioe Wate nim > weahe eert aera ie tere 277 
st dha Be Ta FOR EM nee) SIURCUP ISSR ea yy ate 278 
TiO CSPAETUGE Aw naceunie Cetin atel dntater oi 278 
BANE Wis is aan Aen Ure (Ui BP AN 279 
Qe Reverence ary aa irenmers erate ounce 249 
BOP Eli 7 Bas aS es aru caster (a 280 
PERE REMOTSCHIS 4 as ata ties wate, see 280 
D2 ADCO PN Ae eras irmaialens A cese ye WIT 281 
1359e Contempe erat ae et ie, wont ait 281 
TADS Aversion: 2B Shee net ice eile cree. 281 
P52 Compares tes iar ay etaleis ayer PASS Aas 
III HUMAN SENTIMENTS 
1 Pity. sc tas Sea iat al 283 
2 EG Hame ve qin van eb abe ae alone ee rete 284 
Se pea lausvirwaiens cok sree ee vestume i W 284 
A REVENGE Tawi (a bie ec aNeme buens ee 285 
Bi RET OAH aici sea isrelalteteneitn tte phe 's) 285 
Go Eyer ee eS fea leap 286 
Ef vaee bo ciate Coa Nyannes Ga: AMaRNN uy ot Bw 286 
OMS es Faby steniav Leet ere Satta ONE Gea 287 
ETO VE a aah ye OM agra Ota alia 'a amo > 287 
LOPNRE TAC eae eee we ate yen te. J. 288 
IV HuMAN CONVICTIONS i 
| Leg Shera ta bol ovpmpeae aye Ab La Meier 290 
POA IEL ILS E Miiesrte eis es anew. hk Apa 290 
Gite) Patriotisnin sais ss smb PRM MS A 299 
AMR OTOP: Od hava cnetet tiene eiqyey tae Jet 291 
5. Occupational Loyalty .......-. 291 
6. Family Loyalty ...........--- 291 
7. Social Conventions........---- 292 
1X 


ai 


Ta 
4 rs 


It is the consensus of opinion that man has a right 
to be happy. The Declaration of American Independ- 
ence says: “‘We hold these truths to be self-evident— 
that all men are created equal; that they are endowed 
by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that 
among them are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happi- 
ness.” 


Cw 


“Success may be the ability to get what you want; 
but happiness is the ability to want what you have.”’ 


HOW YOU CAN KEEP HAPPY 


leveled Mia 
THE ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 


ce is largely a question of internal climate 

—emotional control. Happiness does not con- 
sist in the abundance of things possessed and is not 
altogether determined by the nature of our environ- 
ment. Fiuman beings are dominated by certain in- 
herent “and acquired emotions and it is their reaction 
to these feelings and emotions that determines for the 
time being their HOSS and, in the end, by frequent 


~————-. 0... 


a seconda ie on aha you think about your Rosie 
how you react to your,emotions. Happiness is the j joy 
of living and it, determined by the manner 
in which we f €é emotions and sentiments 
which are contr to joy, while we suppress or 
control those feelings and emotions which are produc- 
tive of sorrow and grief. 

Our more profound emotions are the feelings which 
embrace our consciousness in the presence of some un- 
usual situation, and this psychic state is usually accom- 
panied by more or less change of the circulation in 
some of our internal organs. We should also clearly 
understand the: che ductless gland system of the body 
has a gre: deal to do, in a chemical way, with the 


1 


——_— 


How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


instigation and regulation of our more complex emo- 
tional experiences. 

But man is not altogether a helpless bark adrift on 
the seas of time; while we are more or less creatures 
of instinct, nevertheless, there is a certain domain in 
which human beings do exercise the power of choice. 

There is a realm of human experience in which the 
individual has the power of decision. ‘There is a do- 
main of self-control, and while it varies in different 
individuals, it is nevertheless a fact that man is, within 
certain limits, the architect of his own destiny. There 
is in human experience a field for the exercise of self- 
control and the degree to which this control is exer- 
cised largely determines, in the end, our degree of 
happiness and joy. 

Now, while it is true that happiness is largely a 
question of “emotional control,” there are external 
conditions which, as well, contribute to the joy of liv- 
ing. There are conditions entirely outside ourselves— 
things having.to do with our psychic pleasures, mate- 
rial satisfaction, and physical health—which also are 
intimately associated with the problems of happiness 
and sorrow. 

There is constantly. surging thesnah the soul a flood 
of conflicting impulses, feelings, and emotions. ‘The 
average undisciplined mind lives in the presence of a 


veritable maelstrom of warring instincts, primitive . 


emotions, and modern conventionalities. One of the 
problems of living in the midst of present-day civiliza- 
tion is to determine how we can organize, co-ordinate, 
and associate our experiences so as +9 weave them all 
into a harmonious pattern of peace. «© \ 

In any large city, that vast army of ¢ivine ’ 


“" 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 3 


Ss —_—e 


\ 

- \airvoyants, card readers, mind readers, fortune 
in and spiritualistic mediums, testifies not only to 
\the persistent_superstition and ignorance of mankind, 
but also eloquently proclaims the insatiable. ‘quest for 
happiness and joy. 

_ Anything which fills the human mind to overflowing, 
whether ‘it be “ambition, _constructiveness, imagination, 
or \religion—I say, anything - that_really fills.and in- 
trigues “the mind; makes for happiness. We enjoy 
more Or less happiness whilst we are enthusiastically 
engaged in the-pursuit of those things which we be- 
lieve, even evel Partially 1 in STOR are essential to 
Dip tuppiness. 

Did you know that happiness is a harvest you reap 
from’ the seed-sowing of your daily living? You are 
entitled to a bountiful crop-of-joy if you-sow the right 
seed. Look over the seeds of happiness and see if you 
are planting and cultivating those habits and practices 
which ripen into health and happiness. 
| You see,  happiness-i is-not.some sort of thing you can 
buy, invent; or get for a Christmas present. It is like 
read or an exquisite cake, it is made, it con- 
‘sists of compounding numerous ingredients and then 
‘subjecting the compounds to certain essential condi- 
tions, to cook it properly. You can’t go to the bake 
shop and buy your happiness. You can’t inherit money, 
join a church, get married, or do any other concrete 
thing and get happiness. You must mix it up and cook 
it in the oven of your own trials and experiences. You 
are going to get out of that oven of personal experience 
just what you put in, tempered by the skill with which 
you have managed the baking, the care with which you 
have supplied all the “little things’ which go so far 


“4 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY ! 


toward spoiling or making the ‘‘cake” and ' Lo 
r toward “making” or ‘“‘breaking’” human. /'$e 
I have elected to discuss the essentials of ove (1e;\$ 

‘under the following seven heads: 

Good health—a sound body. 

Congenial work—agreeable employment. 

Self-control—common sense discipline. 

Human companionship—pleasant associations. 

Ambition—personality-pride. 

Courage—self-confidence. 

Religion—faith and hope. 


es oe 


1. -Goop. Hrattu—A Sounp Bopy 


It is a foregone conclusion that health is essential 
happiness, though we must admit that every now anc 
then we run across those courageous souls who, eve 
in the midst of sickness and suffering, maintain that 
evenness of temperament and tranquility of soul that 
compel our admiration and foster our esteem for these 
extraordinary persons who are thus able so successfully 
to rise above the infirmities of the flesh. et 

But when all is said and done, we are in the best 
position to enjoy happiness if we have average good 
health. While heredity, our ductless gland system, 
- and our constitutional vitality—while all these things | 
we receive from our ancestors have much to do with 
‘health, much more than we commonly suppose; never- 
theless, our own habits of living, the manner in which 
we conform to the requirements of modern sanitation 
and comply with the demands of the laws of hygienic 
living—I say, our personal behavior has much t to do 
with determining the degree of health we may e1 ‘enjoy. 

Space will not permit us thoroughly to i ye 


t 
"1 if i 


(is aia 
% \ 


/ 
/ ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS s. 


’ 


nd hygiene in this connection. These topics we have 
ully considered in other volumes,* but in passing, they 
eadet’s attention should be called to the fact that our’ 
abit-s of eating and dressing, working and sleeping, 
esting and playing, are all factors which must be 
o\nsidered in connection with health. The physical 
ydy must have reasonable exercise if it is to be main- 
‘ained in good condition. 

We must learn how to take care of our vital organs: 
the lungs, heart, liver, stomach, and kidneys. If we 
are going to share in the blessings of the increase in 
aye average length of life, we must do our part in obey- 
ng the laws of hygienic living which have made this 
' le possible; as well as avail ourselves of the 

lages of improved sanitation and public health 
es which have also contributed their share to 
ing the span of human life. 
‘can’t expect to enjoy good health if our blood 
re is dangerously high, producing a tense, uneasy 
on the one hand, and predisposing us to the 
of grave physical catastrophe on the other. 
r are we going to enjoy life at its best if our 
pressure is too much below normal, giving us 
red out, good-for-nothing feeling which is so 
ata Re brain fag and nervous exhaustion. 
nus . y\it that we have a good blood stream, 
ur Bem’ ; Sroperly assimilated; that our heart is 
od cOuuition, and that our blood pressure is fairly 
al, if we are going to lay the foundation for a 
and joyful 1f-. 
can’t expect to enjoy: life at its fullest if we are 


Science of Living, A. C. McClurg & Co., Chicago. The Es- 
f Healthful Living, Macmillan & Co., New York. 


6 How You CAN KEEP HAP: 


suffering from digestive disorders. Happin 
go well with “biliousness’”’ and whether our 
wrong dietetic practices, ulcers of the stomach, C 
appendicitis, gall-stones, or nervous indigestion, w 
forced to seek relief from these conditions before 
can become candidates for admission to the realms 
true joy and happiness. 
It is positively sinful the way some people choose 
remain in ignorance about matters of diet, food values 
balanced bills of fare, over-eating, lack of vitamins, etc’ 
With all of this information so easily available at the 
present time, there is no excuse for the average perso: 
remaining in such ignorance as to harm himself, 
these matters of nutrition so as to interfer... 4 


health and thus detract from the higher ate 
life. 


We have long heard that cleanliness is - 


ness, yet some people have not yet awaker: 
that flies are carriers of the filth dis. 
typhoid fever, dysentery, etc. Not es 
himself of the full health benefits to ba 

regular hygienic bathing. 

Health is the very foundation of hap 
great need of the hour is more attentior 
of personal hygiene. Public health ha 
adyances as compared with personal hygiene. 
American people stand in need of a real hr 
revival. 

We are not all fully awakened yet as to the da 
of dust. We fail to appreciate that ordinary ( 
sometimes the airship of mischievous microbes. 
we are not afraid of sewer gas and deca >: 2 veg 
to the extent we were in former generat « 


ESsENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 7 


ess we should see to it that our premises are kept clean 
and sanitary. 


| ’ 
pA HEALTH AND EMOTIONS 


Our health is, of course, tremendously influenced by 


4s we proceed with our study, so that the mind is not 
only a direct factor in human happiness, but an indirect 
one, in that it comes to influence the health to such an 
extent that it may thus indirectly affect our happiness 
hrough its effect upon the physical well-being. 

Again, we must recognize that all our feelings and 
emotions rest upon a | firm ph sical basis. Aside from — 
ny beliefs we may entertain regarding the possibility 
of man being indwelt by some spiritual monitor—lI say, 
aside from these religious or philosophical beliefs, 
1odern physiologists and psychologists tell us that our 
thoughts and feelings, our emotions and sentiments, are 

uilt up out of the cumulative impressions or sensations 
which pass into the brain over the nerves and through 
the special senses of the physical body; and it behooves 
us therefore to keep this physical mechanism in the 
best possible condition, in the most efficient working 
order, to the end that our incoming sensations may be 
of a high and healthy sort. 

We cannot expect to construct healthy feelings, high 
ambitions, and noble emotions out of unhealthy sensa- 
tions and unwholesome physical impressions. ‘The 
physical body is the mechanism for receiving and trans- 
mitting the ancestors of our thoughts and sentiments, 
and it is our highest duty to keep this transmitting 
mechanism in the best possible physical condition. 

Hunger is one of the primary emotions associated 


-he mental state, as will be more and more discovered “~~ 


| F the world. It is the physical foundation of all happi- F 


‘fi: ness. 


_both health and efficiency. Success is essential to happi- \ 
/ness, and efficiency is indispensable to success, and 


8 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


with the nutrition instinct, and hunger, is one of the 


true and real pleasures of living. {Lo satisfy one’s 


appetite when it is keen and sharp ftom physical exer- 
tion and from the accomplishment of the pleasurable 


> tasks of our daily toil—well, there are few physical 


pleasures which are so contributory to the happiness 
of living as the appeasing of hunger.* 

You can’t expect to enjoy happiness when you are 
suffering from physical lassitude, intellectual indiffer- 


\ ence, and moral idleness. Health presupposes action. 


Happy people, generally speaking, are always healthy 
people. Healthy folks are those who are filled with 
pep. Pep is a slang expression which has come into 
general use in recent times, and has come to stand for 


physical health is the very foundation of efficiency. | 4 
Health, practically speaking, is the greatest thing in \ 


I know a woman who possesses all of the essentials 
—even the luxuries—of happiness, but she fails to 
enjoy life because of her physical afflictions. II] health 
effectively neutralizes all those other things which — 
would otherwise make her supremely happy. ‘There is — 
the case of a business man, a prince of a fellow, who : 
certainly deserves happiness; he has everything—tem- — 
perament, wealth, work, family—which could be de- 
sired to make one happy, but unwise habits of living - 
have undermined his health, over-exertion has shat-— 
tered his nerves, he has broken down in the struggle of - 


See Fae 


*For a fuller consideration of hunger and other instincts an «mo- 
tions—see Appendix. af 


"| is: 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 9 


life and today is exceedingly miserable, very unhappy. 
Life is a burden to this man and he is a burden to his 
family, though they are doing everything possible to 
restore him to health—and to happiness. 5 
It is all but impossible to have happiness without” 
health—the one is indispensable to the other; and it is 
almost equally true that it is hard to keep health with- 
out happiness. 


HOW HE CAME BACK 


rf 
. *The other day I was walking along the street when 
I was hailed by a cheery, “Hello, Doctor, how are 
you?” Turning quickly I grasped the outstretched 
hand of a former patient of mine. He was the picture 
of health and happiness, a man full of unquenchable 
energy, and obviously in love with life. And yet, less 
than two years before, this same man had stood in my 
office the very picture of misery and despair. 

In his eagerness to achieve position and money he 
had played fast and loose with his health. Meals were 
neglected, exercise cut out, home and friends relegated 
to the background. Every ounce of his strength was 
given to one thing—business. He lived with it night 
and day. And, as business has a habit of doing, it had — 

_ returned his devotion and singleness of purpose by — 
giving him indigestion, high blood pressure, bilious 
headaches, and insomnia. 

This man had been caught in a vicious circle of his 
own making. Short of temper and long of face, he 

made his associates miserable in their contact with 
him. His wife and family suffered through his petu- 
lancy and illttemper, and his unpleasantness was re- 
flected in daily quarrels. Consequently, he saw nothing 


Vv 


10 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


but unhappiness around him. Naturally this worked 
on his undermined health to such an extent that he was 
on the verge of a complete breakdown when he asked 
my help. 

After a great deal of threshing around and consid- 
erable argument, he was a good enough sport to realize 
that the whole miserable situation had been brought on 
by himself, and he promised faithfully to take himself 
in hand, and try to lead a roarmal, wholesome life. 

His hardest tussle was with his business; for forth- 
with he had to turn a right-about-face and learn to put 
that in its proper place. At my suggestion, he inter- 
ested himself in a boys’ club. Every day he forced 
himself to give several hours of his time to club work. ~ 
He entered into the boys’ sports, and into their prob- 
lems—and thereby found wonderful diversion and 
restoration. 

At first he had an extremely hard time getting hold — 
of himself. But he did it. He won the respect and 
liking of the lads. In the curative radiation of happi- 
ness that this voluntary service brought forth, his 
grouch gradually melted away. Careful attention to © 
diet further sweetened his disposition, while regular 
exercise completed his metamorphosis by building up 
his weakened body and shattered nerves. Within a 
year he could sleep like a top, eat like a horse, and 
relax with the ease of a baby. From a cranky pessimist 
he changed to a thoroughgoing optimist, absolutely in 
tune with his associates, his family and his environment. 

This book could be filled with the stories of men 
who have lost happiness through ill health. Sickness is 
incompatible with the joy of living. It is difficult to | 
have a sweet disposition in the presence of a sour 


SF 


EsSsENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 11 


stomach. It is hard to experience cheerfulness of mind 
in the face of physical depression. 

I recall the case of a miserable old pessimist—a man 
who was a confirmed grouch—who was suffering from 
half a dozen different maladies. A few years back this 
man took himself in hand, went through a thorough 
examination, and one by one set about to master his 
ailments—made up his mind to get well—and he did 
it; in two years he had recovered from gall-stones, 
gout, indigestion, constipation, headache, insomnia, 
rheumatism, and still other disorders. Today, you 
could not hope to find a more happy, cheerful, optim- 


isticsoul. He certainly does enjoy living and he simply 


radiates sunshine to everyone about him. 


a ‘The pessimist who said that happiness is the fleeting 


interval between periods of unhappiness must have 
had a coated tongue and a sour stomach, While | 


must admit that happiness is largely a spiritual growth, \ 


\ 


| a thing of mind rather than of flesh, nevertheless, its 
\ roots are anchored and nurtured in our physical well- ; 


_ being. 


“Tf you are well—if you enjoy good health—you 


| have the foundation for happiness; if you are sick, 
) make the best of your afflictions—be happy in spite of 
_ your trouble; but if you would enjoy the highest pleas- 
ure of living, cultivate health as the chief of all the 
\ essentials of a happy life. 

As already intimated there is practically no end to 


the discussion of health in its relation to happiness, but 


at this time, we can only offer these brief suggestions, 


trusting that those of our readers who are in need of 


- further assistance along this line, who are victims of 


sorrow and suffer from unhappiness as the result of 


poor health—lI say, I trust they will seek further infor- 
mation in works devoted more fully to instructing the 
layman in the art of keeping well. 


12 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


2. CONGENIAL WORK—AGREEABLE EMPLOYMENT 


There is supreme satisfaction in doing things. There © 
is joy in producing, out of raw materials, the thing 
which had its birth and origin in the imagination of the 
mind. 

One of the primary instincts of the race is construc- 
tion*——-and there is associated with this inherent in- 
stinct an emotion which we might fittingly term the 
_ pride of creation; and all this culminates in that higher 
human sentiment of loyalty to one’s occupation, craft, 
or profession. 

There is real joy in pioneering. There is real ecstasy 
in toil when our efforts are accompanied by an almost 
religious conviction that we are performing a real 
service, not only for ourselves, but for our fellows. 
There is joy in the sweat of the brow when we feel that _ 
our toil is in obedience to a Divine urge. 

When we engage in work we must remember that if 
our efforts are selfish and sordid, our toil is only en- 

titled to recognition as pseudo-work. j 

But through all this exhortation to toil, we must — 
remember that man is not by nature a working animal, 
though he is a constructive animal; and this instinct of — 
construction must be constantly injected into the idea — 
of toil in order to provide the emotional elements that 
contribute to joy and happiness. ‘ 

Work should always be in keeping with our powers, 


’ 


> aE 
> 


*See Appendix for further discussion of emotions. 


SN) 5 
\ 


i 
ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 13 


con istent with our temperament, and adapted to our 
cap: city; and as far as possible our toil should be along 
the |. nes of our own choosing. We can do more work 
with !ess strain if the heart is in it, if we really like 
the job). 

When we come to consider the value of work as a 
contribution to joy and happiness, we must remember 
that primitive man, while he was a fighting and playing 
animal, was hardly a working animal. Work has come 
to be imposed upon us by those demands of modern 
civilization which make it necessary for us to exert our- 
selves in order to satisfy the hoarding impulse; but 
much dissatisfaction has been sown in the hearts of the 
laborers by the modern labor agitator who is always 
contending for shorter hours and more pay. | 

I am sure all broad-minded people want the working 
man to have the full reward of his labor, but there 1s a 
danger that this constant agitation for shorter hours 
will serve to augment the already too prevalent idea. 
that labor is undignified, ignoble, and a thing altogether — 
to be shunned. 

The tremendous development of modern machinery 
has done much to deprive man of his joy of construc- 
tion, the pride of creation. Work has become alto- 
gether too mechanical and thus the zest of it has all 
but deserted the average workman. 

While the invention of labor-saving machinery and 


the improvement of tools have done much to liberate 

man from the drudgery of his toil; these inventions 

have also made it necessary to find new motives for 

toil. New incentives must be discovered to enlist the 

interest and fire the enthusiasm of the worker. Every- 

thing depends, pp far as happiness is concerned, on the 
ST -% 


j 
/ 


14 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


spirit man puts into his labor. As the poet (Gu jst) 


puts it—much depends on “How You Tackle Your 


Work:’’* / 


j 
| 


“You can do as much as you think you can,’ 
But you'll never accomplish more; 
If you’re afraid of yourself, young man, 
There’s little for you in store. 
For failure comes from the inside first, 
It’s there if we only knew it, 
And you can win, though you face the worst, 
If you feel that you’re going to do it. 


Success! It’s found in the soul of you, 
And not in the realm of luck! 

The world will furnish the work to do, 
But you must provide the pluck. 

You can do whatever you think you can, 
It’s all in the way you view it. 

It’s all in the start you make, young man; 
You must feel that you’re going to do it.” 


I know of a boy who belonged to a large family; 
he had many uncles and aunts, and altogether almost 
thirty cousins. Now this family on the whole was 
pretty well-to-do. All this boy’s cousins were well 
educated. Many of them had studied and traveled 
abroad. But when he was eight years of age, his 
father’s financial ship went upon the rocks, and bank- 
ruptcy overtook him; and this boy was left, as it were, 
alone in the world to make his own way. He struggled 
hard to get an education, and no dow»: looked with 


*From “‘A Heap o’ Livin’,” The Reilly & Lee Gy, 


ry 
| 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 15 


envy upon his many cousins, who, because of their 
worldly possessions, were able to lead lives of leisure; 
his earlier years were somewhat embittered by these 
_ hardships and because of the difficulties which beset his 
pathway of life; but he was ambitious and not only 
that, necessity bade him toil and struggle. 
To make a long story short, he grew to manhood, 
secured not only his college training, but a technical 
training in addition, and became a great success—a 
man known in this country from coast to coast. He 
was the subsequent envy of all his cousins; the idol of 
his uncles and aunts; and the one person who was held 
up to his younger cousins as an incentive, as an object 
lesson, as a shining example, every time the parents of 
_ these well-to-do children sought to inspire their idle 
offspring with the notion of becoming somebody, or 
doing something in the world. 

Now, it should be further recorded that this seem- 
ingly unfortunate lad was not only the most prosperous 
and worth while member of this whole tribe, but he 
was by far the most happy. He was fortunate in his 
marriage, and this splendid wife helped him to sweeten 
up what bitterness there remained of the fact that none 
of his well-to-do relatives had come forward to help 
him secure an education or to assist with the long and 
expensive special course of training which he had un- 
_ dergone. 

At last he came to see that after all his lot had been 
the more fortunate; that his troubles had really been 
blessings in disguise, and later he came to feel very 
kindly toward his people. Today as his years are 
ripening he is a mellow, considerate, kindly, and sympa- 
thetic fellow, a man who, although he has achieved 


| . ry 


\ 4 


16 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


great success in life, bears his honors gracefully and is 
withal unusually happy and cheerful. 

In modern times we have come to entertain wrong 
ideas of work. Perhaps in view of the natural tendency 
of primitive man, it is not strange that human beings 
should seek to dodge work. Man is certainly much 
more of a hunting and fighting animal than he is a 
working animal. Even theology has become tainted 
with the idea that work is a curse. Man is conceived 
as being happy and in Paradise when he was free from 
labor, but that he was under a curse when he was 
ejected from the beautiful garden and consigned to 


work. 
ONE BOY’S SOLUTION 


Never does the thought of the blessing of hard. — 
work, of forced effort, pass through my mind but I © 
think of the boby—a member of a family of seven, next — 
to the oldest, who became so disgusted with the social © 
rounds of his set and with the useless lives his wealthy — 
parents led, as well as the indolent existence of his — 
brothers and sisters—especially his older brother who. | 
had already succumbed to the wiles of strong drink— | 
I say, this lad got to thinking about it all one day, and — 
packed his grip, drew out what little money he had in 
4 savings account, and cleared out. 

Of course, this nearly broke his mother’s heart, and — 
a great hullabaloo was made trying to find him, but he © 
covered his tracks so well he was not discovered. Ere — 
long he was given up for dead, but after ten years he © 
disclosed his whereabouts and was found to have made 
good, to have married a splendid woman—true, of the © 
middle class—he was the father of two or three healthy — 
children, and was well established in his business. 


Pe Oe a 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 1:7 


How proud the whole family were of him after they 
became reconciled to the fact that he was one of the 
- world’s workers, and what a difference between this 
chap and his brothers and sisters! The restless, bored, 
cynical manner of the days of his youth had disap- 
peared. He was a broad-minded, big hearted, sympa- 
thetic, unselfish sort of chap, whom his wife and babies 
adored, his business associates loved, and in addition 
he was supremely happy in the satisfaction of his 
achievement. ‘Thus work was able to redeem a social 
parasite and make of him one of Nature’s noblemen, 
a son of toil, a so-called self-made man. 

We all know that lad is counted fortunate who is 
born in the midst of affluence and is able to enjoy 
leisure and avoid the demands of toil; and so for 
various reasons, manual labor has come to be asso- 
ciated with sorrow and misfortune. Both the Greeks 
and the Romans looked upon toil as abhorrent. In 
Athens, no gentleman worked, and this idea seems to 
have obtained down to the days of Christ. 


7b 
THE CHRISTIAN VIEWPOINT 


The Man of Nazareth was a carpenter. He worked 
the greater part of His life at the carpenter’s trade, 
and the public opinion of His day with regard to labor 
is well voiced on the part of the people, who, although 
attracted by His teachings, hesitated to believe in Him, 
for they said, “Is not this man a carpenter’s son?” 
They were loath to believe that a great teacher could 
arise from the ranks of labor. 

But Christ sought in every way to dignify labor. It 
was He who said: ‘‘My father worketh hitherto, and 
I work.” And further the Master said: “To every 


18 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


7 


man his work.” ‘It is further a part of Christian 

philosophy that as human beings we may become 

“Workers together with God.’ And so Christ by 

both precept and example sought to redeem work from > 
the disrepute it had fallen into down through the pre- 
Christian ages, and he evidently did much to restore 
the dignity of toil, for Paul, the Christian philosopher, 
subsequently wrote:.“‘Let him that stole, steal no more, 
but rather work.” 

With the passing of the Dark Ages, labor began to 
gain recognition so that Carlyle, in speaking of the 
social parasites of England, said: “In God’s name 
work—produce something, and thus you will consume 
your own smoke.” : 

The idle rich—our social parasites—are unhappy; 
and the idle poor—our tramps—are also unhappy; and | 
why? Both for the same reason; because of their idle- | 
ness. Not primarily because either of their riches or “_ 
their poverty. What makes them unhappy is the lack 
of that satisfaction which comes from the accomplish- 
ment of labor, the achievement of work. : 

In this connection, I am reminded of a patient I had 
a few years ago—a man who had, through inheritance : 
and so-called good luck, come into possession of many 4 
millions, and who started out on one grand chase for 
happiness. In his earlier years he had been raised in _ 
comfort, with just enough of this world’s goods to 
make it unnecessary for him to work, or worry about 
spending-money. ’ 

For fifteen years this Felloy kept chasing the rain- 
bow, drinking more and more, repeatedly circling the 
globe, always followed by a retinue of hangers-», who 
delighted in keeping him half soused most of tic time, 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 19 


because he was more liberal when he was pretty well 
intoxicated—he had a tende, cy to give away money in 
smaller bunches when he ¥’:s sober. And so this went 
on until he finally was turned down for life insurance 
because of high blood pressure and kidney trouble, and 
that is when he began to take stock. 

As a result of his misspent life, and the worry over 


his physical condition, a nervous breakdown came on, 


and he was most miserable. Sanitariums, nurses, doc- 
tors, hospitals, and what not brought him no comfort, 


and it was about this time that I ran across him. I 


saw there was just one thing that could ever save this 
chap, and that was to go to work, but my gentle hints 
along this line bore no fruit, and finally I had a frank 
talk with him, after I had secured his confidence, and 
told him there was only one condition on which I would 


act as his medical adviser, and that was for him to go 
immediately to work and promise me to get married 
as soon as he could fall in love. 


He entered into a formal agreement with me, signed 
a contract to do this, and the most phenomenal part of 
it is that he did it. He went to work. In time he got 


_ well and he actually did find a good woman who was 
willing to marry him. He established a home and 


what a transformation! Now we have a useful, 
amiable, successful business man, the head of an Ameri- 
can home; a human being filled with joy and happy all 


the while. Again work has been the salvation of one 
_ of the idle and supremely unhappy rich. 


DANGERS OF RETIRING 


Once I knew of a rather unusual woman—a business 
woman—who was very happy; one of those cheerful 


20 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


souls who was always th? life of the party and seemea 
to travel on the sunny sia: of the road. In the midst 
of her pleasant and successful business career, a very 
wealthy aunt died and left her a huge fortune. As 
might be expected, she quit work immediately to take 
care of her financial affairs, and after everything was 
in shape and the aunt’s estate settled up, she traveled 
for a year or two. 

This was not so bad, but soon she tired of traveling, 
established a palatial home, surrounded herself with a 
retinue of servants, and began to lead the customary 
life of the idle rich. And now what is the result? She 
is sickly, ailing, miserable, unhappy—yes, worse than ~ 
that, she is grouchy. She has turned into a really 
disagreeable sort of individual. She has few friends, — 
and even the few she has I suspect are merely hanging 
around with the idea of getting something for them- 
selves. 

I often think of this case and think what a curse — 
riches are—no, it is not fair to say that the curse is in 
the riches hemmeetves: the curse is in the idleness, ‘the 
indolence, the inactivity, the lack”of those things, the ’ 
doing of which brings joy and satisfaction. I know 
any number of rich people who are happy. Wealth - 
itself doesn’t produce unhappiness. It is the wrong - 
habits of thinking and living that follow in its wake. 

And, at the risk of repetition, I reiterate that work 
is a blessing, not.acurse. Work is a necessity to.mod- 
ern civilized society. Not one person in a hundred can. 
hope to be really and truly happy unless they have 
some useful work, some satisfactory toil, that engages 
their attention sufficiently to satisfy ambition on the 
one hand and the pride of creation on the other. 


QssENTIALS OF HAPPINESS it 


And yet, we see this primitive dislike for work creep- 

ing out today in our social agitators who go up and 
down in the land, preaching against work, agitating 
against labor, and proclaiming that the toilers are the 
slaves of capital, etc. The tendency seems to be to 
have our happiness founded not on the achievement of 
labor and the joy of creating things; but rather to look 
for satisfaction in less work and more pay. 
While the laborer is worthy of his hire; and we 
should not muzzle the ox that treads out the corn, and 
while I am heartily in favor of a just distribution of 
wealth, while I believe that the working man is entitled 
to all he gets, at the same time it is a great mistake and 
subversive of joy and happiness, to lead the laboring 
man to regard money as the chief reward for his daily 
labor. 

As society is at present organized, money is essential 
to happiness because of the things which it can procure 
and since it is the medium of exchange, it necessarily 
becomes a part of the reward of labor; but the sons 
of toil should be taught that there is a still higher satis- 
faction in the knowledge of their work well done. 
There is happiness to be found in the achievement of 
our efforts that is in every way superior to the mere 
monetary wage. 

We cannot help regretting that many of our present- 
day social agitators are indirectly prejudicing the peo- 
ple against work, and we must also look with dis- 
approval upon the tendency of well-to-do parents to 
raise their children in comparative idleness; whereas 
it would have been a genuine blessing if their sons and 
daughters had been taught how to labor, had been 
) initiated into the joys of productive toil. 


IN: How You CAN KEEP HAP -y - 


In this connection, I want to tell a story about a 
retired manufacturer, a man who toile ard from his 
youth—another one of these so-called self-made busi- 
ness men, which merely means that he inherited such 
tendencies and urges, that for sheer joy, he went 
through all these efforts and struggles, and thereby 


built up his business and accumulated a fortune. He ~ 
was successful because of the inherent traits handed © 
down by his ancestors. He had been a hard worker ~ 


and his wife was very fond of travel and she had 
exacted a promise from him that when he was fifty 
years of age, if he had a certain sum of money laid by, 
he would retire, that they might travel and enjoy life. 


Well, it developed that when he reached the age of — 
fifty he was possessed of sufficient wealth to enable — 


him to keep the promise, made years before, to retire, 


and so he relinquished the business and started out to © 


enjoy life; and it seems that with his wife he had a7 ) 


Y 
" 


very enjoyable time for the first year. They encircled © 
the globe and then he came back to enjoy his hard : 


earned ducats and to take a good long rest. 


But things did not go well. He soon began to ail. © 
He got to thinking about himself. He imagined he 


had first this and then that. He began paying regular 
visits to the doctor’s office and when his medical adviser 
didn’t give him satisfaction as to the real nature of his 
subtle diseases, he began going to sanitariums and all 


# 


% 


‘a 
% 

> 
a 


M4 


s 


that sort of thing, so that by the time he fell into my © 


hands he was a confirmed hypochodriac. ~ And what } 
didI do? Kept right at it for four months until I got — 
that man back at work. In four montis more, after © 


I had him back on the job, he was a we!! man—a happy 
man, and I don’t believe any amount of © onoy, or any- 


‘ 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 23 


thing else on earth, could ever get that man to retire. 
To everyone he now says that he expects to die in his 
boots. 

What a mistake for anyone who has worked con- 
tinuously throughout a lifetime, to seck happiness by 
retiring to enjoy idleness. True, increase in years 
means the necessity for modifying work. I heartily 
approve of cutting down work, sloughing off the non- 
essentials. I believe it is a great mistake for men 
above fifty to continue to work as they did when they 
were thirty or forty, but that is another thing as com- 
pared with retiring. Lessen your work, but stay on the 
job. Take vacations if you want to—two or three 
times a year, and two or three weeks at a time, but 
don’t quit. Develop outside interests, play golf, go 
fishing, work in the garden, get a hobby—but don’t 

quit; stay on the job. Hl 
Work is indispensable to happiness, and those who 
have worked with joy and satisfaction at some task 
until they are fifty or even sixty or more, will not find 
happiness in retirement. 

When it comes to the majority of the nervous break- 
downs, neurasthenics, etc., I depend on the work cure, 
not the rest cure. True, when patients are under- 
weight, it is sometimes best to fatten them and rest 
them up to start with—put them to bed, say, for four, \ 
six, or even eight weeks—then I get them right out and 
put them to work. I repeat—nervous people need the 
work cure and not the rest cure. 


WORK CURE VS. REST CURE 


Of course, we should select work that is adapted 
to the patient. We should not expect feeble souls to 


24 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


try to do a giant’s job. Try to find work that.is enjoy- 
able. Patients do best when engaged in some task that 
they can take satisfaction in, though, at first, some- 
times it is necessary to stick to the job and learn to 
like it. 

It is highly desirable to get into some work that has 
a future to it, something that will let you grow, and 
always we want to be where we belong or as near that 
place as possible, or in line for that place. We want 
to look forward to a future that is acceptable to our 
tastes, ambitions, and abilities. In other words we 
want congenial-employment. ibs 


I remember a few years ago of advising a man to 


change his work. He seemed to be so utterly miser-_ 
able, so very unhappy—not only with some of his busi- — 


ness associates, but his chief, the general manager of 
the concern, was of an overbearing, grouchy type, and 


. 


he kept this poor fellow on needles all the time. He 


never knew what moment he was going to be bawled 


out for something he hadn’t done, or inordinately criti-— 


cized because of some trifling matter. And so, we 


_advised him tn change. He went into a new position — 
at less salary, but his associates were pleasant, and he — 
rapidly rose from the ranks in this concern to become — 


vice-president and general manager. 


Let me tell you about a man who was sick and heart j 
broken. He had been licked in the game of life. He — 


had developed an A No. 1, first class “inferiority com- 
plex.” He had submerged his abilities and buried his — 
talents and had, in the firm he worked for, become — 
merely a “rubber stamp.’ All this worried him and Va 
he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, when, ~ 
as a part of the study of his case, this situation was — 


EssENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 25 


disclosed. He was advised to resign, to go out and 
start life all over. 
At first he was afraid to do it, but finally he made 
up his mind and did so. It took him a year to find a 
new connection, and exhausted most of his savings ac- 
count, but he found a new place. He got into a place 
where individuality was not suppressed, where he had 
a chance to bring forth his talents, and to use them. 
He found a place where ability was appreciated and 
where he was given a chance to forge ahead. And 
what happened? Of course, he got well. He cheered 
up and today he is happy, joyful, and doesn’t look like 
the same man. Such a change has come about because 
his employment is now congenial. ve 
Your work should, if possible, be along the lines of . 
your own choosing, and consistent with your tempera-) | 
ment and your capacity. ‘The better you like it, the / 
harder you can labor without harmful eftect on your 
health and your nerves. To my mind, there is no more 
dismal sound in the world than the “creak, creak, 
creak,” of a square peg ina round hole. But speaking 
about square pegs in round holes, I would rather hear 
their abominable “‘squeak” than no sound at all. I can 
_ imagine nothing more destructive to happiness and con- 
tentment than idleness. It is vicious in its undermining 
qualities. 

I know that people are always happier when they 
have something to work for—some goal to attain. I 
have watched the finger of ambition touch the slumber- 

ing intellect of idle people, stirring them into action. 
I have seen them turn from drones into workers, and 
I find it impossible to overestimate the happiness that 
the change has brought. 


26 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


Invention, though it may for the time being take 
out some of the individual elements and satisfaction 
in craftsmanship—nevertheless, labor-saving machin- 
ery and improved tools have done much to liberate 
man from the long hours and other forms of drudgery 
connected with his daily work. The one thing charac- 
teristic of the Nineteenth Century was the development 
of labor-saving machinery and the improvement of the 
working tools of man. We cannot help but recognize 
that in the end, these mechanical developments have 
helped to liberate man from his longer hours of toil, 
and thus enable him to have more time for mental cul- 
ture, social improvement, and spiritual advancement. 
Genius has added enormously to the enjoyment of life. 


ADAPTATION TO WORK 


In this connection, I recall the case of a business 
woman who gradually sickened, lost interest in her 
work, and became very unhappy. Her efficiency was 
so cut down that she lost her position. She went 
through subsequently not only a nervous and physical 
reconstruction, but also one of mental rejuvenation. 
She regained her courage, got a new position, a differ- 


ent kind of work, different associates, got well, kept - 


well, and was for many years, happy; finally married 


and is today presiding over a happy home, and all this — 


came about by getting out of an unpleasant and unfor- 
tunate business environment and getting a position 
where the environment was favorable, helpful, and 
inspiring. 

When we come to study work, we should also pay 
some attention to our fellow workers. We — st ‘earn 
to like our working companions. You know ‘« Wy 3 


: 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 27, 


Man said that if a man would have “friends he must 
show himself friendly.”’ 

I know of a woman in the business world who was 
very suspicious, and everybody she worked with dis- 
liked her. Of course, she thought everybody was 
haughty and disdainful to her. She thought all the 
rest of the folks were not what they ought to be. Her 
attitude was that “all the regiment are out of step 
but Jim.”’ At least this was her experience for a num- 
ber of years. Finally the worries and anxieties of her 
life so multiplied that she suffered a partial nervous 
breakdown. All this came out in her emotional analy- 
sis; she came to see herself in a new light and decided 
to get back on her feet and go to work and try things 
all over. 

She has been working a year and a half now in her 
new position. I understand not only from her, but 
from other sources too, that she is well liked—she has 
many friends. She believes in her fellow workers. She 
trusts them. She likesthem. In brief, this woman has 
become a normal, happy worker; and we must not for- 
get in this connection that sometimes when we are out 
of touch with our fellows and out of joint with our 
work, the trouble might possibly be in us. It is well to 
take stock and look oneself over, and see just where the 
trouble lies. 

Sometimes it is a good plan to use common sense 
and judgment in choosing work. I want to tell you 
about an unhappy stenographer who had struggled 
along to go through business college and who got a 
position she didn’t like, where she was working hard 
for $22.50 a week, and spending all her money for 
board and room, carfare, and lunches. She just didn’t 


28 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


have enough left to buy the clothes she was supposed 
to wear in the place she was working. Finally she got 
the “‘flu’’ and the result of it all was discouragement, 
almost despair. 

_She said she didn’t like stenographic work. She 
wanted a home; she liked children. She was a young 
girl and it seemed it would be some time before she 
would have a home of her own and children of her 
own, and so we advised her to take a nurse-maid’s 
course and go into that work. ‘The idea appealed to 
her. She entered into the plan with enthusiasm. What 
was the result? She is now getting $30 a week, with 
board, room, and laundry. She has no carfare or 
lunches. She is saving more money every week, ac- 
tually putting it in the bank, than she used to earn, 
working as a stenographer, and she is happy; she is 
just tickled to death over her work. 

What a pity to break down the health of a stenog- 
rapher at $22.50 a week—paying her own expenses— 
when you can make her happy at $30 and no expenses 
to pay. This is a question of judgment, of using one’s 
reasoning powers in this matter of selecting work. 
Many people could improve their position if they 
would do a little real thinking about these matters. 

Now, while I am talking about common sense and 
judgment in selecting work, and while I believe in using 


modern psychology in this business of vocational guid- ~ 


ance, at the same time, I don’t believe in trying to feel 
the bumps on a person’s head and then undertaking to 
tell them what work they ought to take up, or whom 
they ought to marry. ‘There is common sense to be 
used in this advice about using judgment and discretion 
in choosing our work. 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 29 


In this connection, of course, we should always bear 
in mind the danger of being over-ambitious—of under- 
taking the impossible. ‘There is no sense in spoiling a 
good farmer to make a second rate lawyer or a third 
rate doctor. Parents, educators, and all concerned 
should try to help young people in these things when 
it comes to choosing their life work. 


THE IDLE RICH 


I want to tell you the encouraging story of an idle 
rich woman who became so bored with life itself that 
she longed for death. I want to explain to you how, 
after a conference one day, she said she had honestly 
looked the field over to try to find something she might 
with propriety work at, and then I suggested that she 
go in for club work. This idea appealed to her at once. 
She, with her leisure time, became, in the years follow- 
ing, a great club woman, a useful club woman. And 
some of her idle money has also done a great deal of 
good. She has been made supremely happy by these 
activities; her health has improved; she sleeps well. In 
brief, she found a job in club life and it has redeemed 
her from the sick, whining, complaining, Heated life 
of former days. 

Sometimes rich people can make a useful job for 
themselves. I remember well the case of a nervous, 
dyspeptic sort of individual, a man who was very 
wealthy. He lost his wife, he had no children, and he 
thought about giving most of his money to certain 
charitable organizations and spending the rest of his 
life abroad. I advised him to found a new institution. 
The idea appealed to him. He went to work with 
architects from the ground up. He built a philan- 


30 How You CAN KEEP HAPpPpy 


thropic enterprisc, and he stands at the head of it to- 
day as its administrator and general manager. He is 
one of the happiest, not to say most useful men, in 
this generation. 

You see, he has all the elements for happiness in his 
work—kindness and sympathy; he not only takes satis- 
faction in having created this institution over which he 
presides, but every good and human trait is finding ex- 
pression in his work. ‘The more of the real, human 
touch we can get into our work, the more we are going 

to enjoy it, the happier it is going to make us. 
‘We must remember that there is a real culture to be 
| found in work; there is education in toil. No college 


. can give a course that is superior to that discipline and 


) training to be had in the University of Hard Knocks; 


and we must also recognize that we may beautify our! 


'. tasks by the spirit in which we perform them. 


3. SELF-CONTROL—-COMMON SENSE DISCIPLINE 


Self-control—common sense—is essential to happi- 
ness. If you are going to insist on being wholly 
original and looking at most things in life entirely dif- 
ferently than the majority of your fellows—well, then, 
you are doomed to suffer numerous disappointments. 
You are going to experience many sorrows if you per- 


sist in the notion that you can always have your own — 


way. One of the very first essentials of living a happy 
life is to learn how to be @ ‘“‘good loser.” 


I do not mean that you-should’ be a sheep, and 


blindly follow the lead of others; but conventions were 
made for the happiness and safety of the majority, 
and kicking against proven and accepted things isn’t 
going to make for contentment. ! 


EssENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 31 


While improvement of environment does add some- 
thing to the sum total of human happiness, it is not 
after all the chief source of joy. Advanced social legis- 
lation, improved working conditions, etc., all help our 
fellows in that they give them a better opportunity for 
enjoying life. Some of them are wise enough to im- 
prove it; others ofttimes use these opportunities merely 
as an occasion for plunging into those practices and 
experiences which unfailingly lead to sorrow and grief. 

We should also remember there are grades of hap- 
piness. It takes a great deal more to make a cultured 
soul happy than an individual of limited vision and 
meager education. Those of higher culture must enjoy 
opportunities to extend that culture, and happiness to 
‘them, therefore, comes to embrace not merely the phys- 
ical pleasure of living, but also opportunities for read- 
ing and meditation. 

We must be careful not to confuse our wants with _- 
our real needs. Supplying our real needs tends to 
make us happy, but the quest for the gratification of 
our wants sometimes leads us into endless turmoil and 


difficulties. We must not expect-the-impossible-—Lt_we 
Pe e e e 

don’t -expect-so.much our disappointments will be fewer 

and less keen. _. arn 


la eT ASO . 


“We can really change the “‘tastes of the soul.” We 
can determine whether or not we will give audience and 
attention to the whines and complaints of sorrow and 
depression. We really can control the association of 
ideas so as either to starve or feed the ancestors of 


i, sorrow. 


We must never fail to recognize that necessity is 
mother to those efforts and exertions that foster joy 
and yield happiness. Let us master the art of meeting 


‘. 
(\ 


32 How You CAN KEEP KMAPPY 


culties. Jvet us acquire the art of living with ourselves 
as we are and the world as it 1s. 

No system or theory of ethics can bring satisfaction 
or hope to survive if it leaves out happiness. Neither 
can we accept it if it is devoid of moral ideals. We 
must come in the end to judge happiness not only by 
means of the pleasure it affords, but also by its real 
purpose and permanence. 

Because fools are levitous constitutes no reason why 
wisdom should be shrouded with such gravity and over- 
much sobriety. We must get over the notion that only 
shallow personalities can be joyous and happy. Hap- 
piness is in every way compatible with wisdom and 
learning. ~~ TT lee ith 


ne on 
Sa Oa 


ey 
reverses, overcoming obstacles, and surmounting diff- 


|. EMOTIONAL SPREES 


We'must learn to-direct the power and force of sor- 
- rowful emotions and passions into the service channels 
of joy and happiness. We must learn in our efforts at 
emotional control, how to make even sorrow pay trib- 
_»-“uté te happiness. Those men and women who possess. 
the highest control of their emotions are in position to 
experience the highest joys of living. Are you allow- 
ing some foolish, silly pet peeve to ruin your happi- 
ness? Is someone always getting on your nerves? Do 
certain types of people “get your goat?’ Do your best 
friends sometimes annoy you? 

You are not going to enjoy true happiness while you 
are a victim of “nervous jags.”” Many a reader who © 
would look with horror upon going on an alcoholic ‘ 
spree, does not hesitate to indulge in frequent “emo- 
tional sprees”—nervous “blow-ups.”’ Most people en- 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 33 


joy “thrills,’ and when we can’t get them otherwise, 
we permit ourselves an ‘“‘emotional sprawl” now and 
then. 

The erratic, neurotic, unstable individual is disposed 
to indulge in “sprees.” Some get drunk, others get 
hilarious. Some go out in quest of new worlds to con- 
quer, while others indulge in a vicious debauch. Some 
risk their substance on the wheel of fortune, while 
other sorts of odd geniuses indulge in an “‘emotional 
sprawl’’—a nervous blow-up. Some nervous people 
have periodic temperamental explosions—hysterical 
seizures. Many folks with high ideals and spiritual 
sentiments would be shocked at the idea of a cabaret 
and champagne spree, but such individuals will go on 
one glorious ‘“‘wild and woolly” nervous spree without 
the least compunction of conscience; and tremendously 
enjoy the ministration of doctors and nurses, on the 
one hand, and the solicitous sympathy of friends and 
family, on the other. 

Now, at bottom, in their real physiologic root and 
psychologic origin, these different sorts of sprees are 
practically all one and the same thing. ‘They are an 
outcropping of habitual repression, of constantly recur-_ 
ring emotions which so accumulate as to result in these 
periodic blow-ups. They all show the same deficient 
self-control. 

Now these emotional or nervous people—and ner- 
vous people are always emotional—are wont to lay the 
blame for these upheavals on some past experience or 
on what someone has said or done to them. ‘They 
always have a plausible alibi. But they must learn to 
face the responsibility for these emotional sprees and 
cease to excuse themselves for these breakdowns in 


34 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


nervous morale. Even if someone else app2' utly con- 
tributes to these periodic upheavals, the ncezvous indi- 
vidual must recognize that he is, after all, morally 
responsible for the breakdown which he must under- 
stand was largely determined by the way in which he 
reacted to the sayings and doings of other people. 

The trouble with most nervous people is that they 
are bestowing too much thought and sympathy upon 
themselves. They are wasting on themselves those 
very things which the world is dying for the need of— 
‘ love, pity, and sympathy. That is what we mean when 
we tell these nervous folk that they are self-centered, 
self-absorbed, and introspective. They are in some re- 
spects like a dynamo that is short circuited; using up 
an enormous amount of energy but using it all up 
within itself. Such a dynamo is sick, and such nervous 
people are likewise sick—nervously, emotionally sick. 

A few weeks ago I met a woman who was “‘all fussed 
up” over a theatre party she was to attend—all wor- 
ried and over-anxious about this engagement. In fact, 
she made herself sick for a whole week worrying and 
fretting about this party; and then when it was called 
off because of sudden illness, she promptly “blew up” 
—threw a fit—went to bed and sent for the doctor. In 
plain English, she went on a “neurologic toot’’—yjust 
like many a weak-willed man goes off on a spree when 
he encounters disappointments or meets with some sort 
of trouble. 


SOME ‘‘PET PEEVES”’ 


During the time of this writing I made note of a 
few things that peeved some of my patients. One man 
was upset because a new business partner was always 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 35 


saying “listen” as an introduction to anything he said. 
A woman allows her roommate to “get her goat’’ be- 
cause she leaves her things strewn all over their apart- 
ment. A business man literally “blows up” if anyone 
in the office is a moment late at work in the morning, 
and he sees to it that he is there early enough to in- 
dulge in his favorite nervous jag. 

You might be interested in knowing how we helped 
this business man who got so worked up over his part- 
ner always saying “‘isten.’’ I was convinced his partner 
would probably continue this habit, so I set about to 
discover the best way of teaching my patient tolerance 
—helping him to reconcile and adjust himself to this 
little mannerism. You know we claim for ourselves 
the right to‘live our own life in our own way, and we 
ought to be willing that our friends and associates 
should enjoy the same privilege. 

Well, the very first conference I ever had with this 
patient I discovered he had a habit, every time he fn- 
ished a paragraph of speech, of adding—"Do you 
understand?” It was very annoying to have him tell 
you something and then invariably ask—Do you 
understand ?”’ So when he complained so bitterly about 
his partner, I went right after him—told him about 
his own mannerism and explained how he should de- 
vote all his energies to breaking himself of the habit, 
that I thought his habit was worse than his partner’s, 
and that he ought to try to cure himself of his own 
ailment first, and then try to “laugh the whole thing 
off.” _ 

The recognition of an equally or more objectionable 
habit in himself developed tolerance and sympathy for 
his partner. He had a friendly chat with his associate 


- 


| 
36 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


—learned how his own “Do you understand ?”’ irritated 
him, and now he tells me they are “‘having the time of 
their lives,’ both trying to overcome these habits and 
enjoying the joke of it all immensely. And by watch- 
ing each other, in less than six weeks they have just 
about mastered their troubles. 

Here comes a woman who is on the verge of nervous 
prostration over her maids. It seems she is unable to 
get help who will do things just the way she wants 
them done. She is hard to please, but she prefers to 
lay it on the maids. What a blessing it would be if she 
only had to do all her own work for about six weeks! 

One man’s pet peeve was to “blow up” when his- 
wife let him get off the trail when they were motoring. 
This worried her so that she all but refused to go ona 
trip East with him, and came to my office to tell me 
her troubles. Now, I could not get hold of her hus- 
band to labor with him about being more thoughtful 
and kind to his wife, so I had to concoct a plan which 
the wife could carry out. I prescribed driving for her 
—not long stretches, but to do half the driving each 
day. This, you see, compelled her husband ‘to manage 
the road maps—well, of course, you know what began 
to happen—he let his wife get off the trail every now 
and then, and I had rehearsed her so that she could 
‘blow up”’ in exquisite style—simply get furious at him 
for failing to keep her on the right road, only I had 
taught her to finish each explosion of temper with a 
hearty laugh—and go on just as if nothing had hap- 
pened. 

Would you believe it! This fellow really had sense — 
enough to “catch on” to the whole thing; he began to 
“laugh it off” when his wife lost the way, and before 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS Shs 


the passing of a single summer this thing which threat- 
ened their happiness was all but gone, and now when 
he starts to “blow up” she laughs—and they both 
laugh—they are having real fun out of it. Really, I 
wish all wives would take their husbands less seriously 
in little matters like this; they should learn that a hus- 
band’s bite is never as serious as the bark. Sometimes 
I think it is a real kindness to allow a husband to in- 
dulge in just a little growl now and then. 

Then there was the man who could manage a big 
business but got the “jim-jams’’ just because his wife 
couldn’t manage the household affairs to his liking. 
Next was a good-hearted mother who said the childish 
pranks and commonplace noises of the children were 
simply driving her crazy. She was wholly self-centered 
and seemed to take no pleasure in seeing the little ones 
enjoy themselves. 

Now, when it came to helping this mother, I found 
I had a real job on my hands. I talked and reasoned 
with her, but it did little good. So when I saw we 
were falling down on the job—saw this mother was 
gradually losing ground—we took her away from the 
children for six weeks, put her on a rest cure, diet, etc., 
and then before we sent her back home we tried to 
readjust her viewpoint of raising children, persuaded 
her to lock upon her little ones as playmates, taught 
her the value of growing up with her children—living 
life over again and keeping young with the little folks 
—in fact, reconstructed her whole theory and practice 
of child-culture. 

And now I wish you could visit that home; why, all 
the children in the neighborhood want to congregate 
there, they have such great times with this playing 

4 


38 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY | 


mother; she has become the ringleader in all the fun © 
and can make just as much noise as any of the young- _ 
sters. I'll never forget what the little six year old 
told me the last time I called at this home. He rushed — 
into my arms and as he hugged me, he said: “Oh, | 
Doctor, we are so glad you cured mamma; now we can 
make all the noise we want to, and we just have the — 
most fun all day long.” And the mother looked up 
and smiled. 
Yes, she is cured—first of her tired nerves, and sec- 
ond of the notion that the happy and gleeful noises of _ 
live, healthy children get on her nerves. She has — 
changed her mind, her viewpoint, her reactions; and 
now is getting joy and happiness out of the very things _ 
that formerly ‘“‘got on her nerves.”’ 
Another woman enjoyed an emotional spree for no 
other reason than that her husband and daughter in- | 
sisted on sitting in rocking chairs—and they rocked | 
incessantly when they read. A cynical young woman _ 
was bored by the fact that some of her associates were 
so hopelessly ‘‘mid-Victorian.”” A well-behaved woman 
wanted to scream every time she saw anyone cleaning _ 
their finger-nails in public. | 
I must confess failure in helping the cynical young | 
woman. I think it will require some real sorrow and 
a little more experience in life to cure her; but I was — 
able to help the woman who had such trouble with the 
rocking chairs. I told her I could undertake to break 


ing chair habit was harmless; that it was not like drink- | 
ing, smoking, and such practices; that her husband © 
probably derived great satisfaction from it and that _ 


7 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 39 


she should make up her mind to enjoy seeing him 
enjoy himself. 

Then I explained that family life, community life, 
even national life, had to consist of give and take; that 
we cannot always have our own way—majorities rule 
in a republic, and since both the other members of the 
family: preferred to rock their chairs, I prescribed a 
rocking chair for her, told her it would assist in devel- 
oping the muscles in her feet and ankles (she suffered 
some from flat-foot tendency) and at last I persuaded 
her to join the rocking chair brigade, to make it unani- 
mous for the family. While she complained bitterly 
for several weeks—now, she can rock or not just as 
she pleases—and what's more she said to me not long 
ago that she could have ‘“‘a great time watching a whole 
regiment rock if necessary.” You are enjoying real 
liberty when other people don’t get on your nerves. 

Perhaps I should confess that I got this woman to 
master her dislike for rocking chairs by telling her of 
my dislike for olive oil in salad dressing, and how sev- 
eral years ago I just made up my mind to overcome 
this dislike—that since most folks like olive oil, I would 
force myself to eat it on every occasion, at least until 
such a time that I could do so without making a bad 


face about it. I decided to accustom myself to tolerate 
what the vast majority of my friends enjoyed. There 
is no harm in olive oil—in fact it is a good food—and 
so I declared war on my foolish minority prejudices 


and I won. I don’t think I’ll ever like the stuff as I do 


| strawberries and cream, but I can eat it; I’ve mastered 
_ my dislike to the extent that I can eat salad any place, 
any time, with anybody, and with any old dressing they 


may happen to put on it—and I’m happier because I’ve 
es 


{ 


ee 


40 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


overcome that notion that olive oil always spoils salad 
dressing. 

- Now, about the woman who gets all wrought up 
when she sees anyone cleaning their finger-nails in pub- 
lic. While this woman has helped her general nervous 
situation, she hasn’t overcome this habit. I don’t know 
that I have the heart to try to force her to make a 
stronger effort. It really seems that most folks ought 
to have time in their own homes to clean their finger- 
nails along with the rest of the morning toilet. 

You know, I don’t want to give the impression in 


‘this book that everybody should do just as they wish 
 and- that the rest of us must somehow get used to it. 
~ | think some of these things we are talking about are 


enough to get on most anyone’s nerves, even those of 
us who are most normal and well-controlled. I frankly 
grant that it is incumbent upon some of these other 
nervous people to reform their objectionable habits. 

I don’t want to give the impression that I approve 
of making one’s toilet in public, and that everyone else 
has to get adjusted to it. I believe in good manners, 
but when all is said and done, I want to impress upon 
nervous people that no matter where the blame rests, 
if we allow other folks to get on our nerves we are 
allowing them to tyrannize over us. No matter how 
reprehensible their practices, we just cannot afford to 
let them make monkeys of us; we must not become so 
enslaved to our reaction to these things that they make 
life miserable for us. We can’t control the habits of 
the rest of the world, and therefore we must (in self- 
protection) learn to react with less vehemence. We 
must exercise self-control just to save our own nerves 
from being constantly on edge and to prevent this from 


ESSENTIALS OF/ HAPPINESS 4] 


growing on us to me aan where it will literally give 
us the “‘jim-jams.”’ 

What I am trying to do fee this woman is to teach 
her that she will have to continue to live in this world 
as it is, that she cannot possibly regulate and control 
the habits and practices of all her friends and neigh- 
bors, and therefore, while she may continue to make 
mental note of the fact that she disapproves of people 
cleaning their finger-nails in public, she is to become 
such a master of her own nervous reaction, that she 
can develop such a high degree of self-control over her 
own feelings and impulses, that she doesn’t have to 
have a nervous chill or emotional blow-up just because 
these uncouth persons continue to offend her sensibili- 
ties. In time, I think we will succeed, provided we can 
get her health and nervous system built up and straight- 
ened out, so she will have a better constitutional foun- 
dation for exercising self-control. 

You know it is very hard for a nervous person to 
win a fight along some particular line like this when 
they are ‘‘shot to pieces” constitutionally. They must 
pull themselves together before they can win battles 
of this sort. 


FASTIDIOUS NERVES 


The reader should not get the idea that we always 
succeed in helping these nervous people. Sometimes 
they sit right down and refuse to help themselves. In 
taking a large group of this class of patients, I find 
that we help about half of them over their troubles and \. 
the other half refuse to play the game or they quickly _“ 
get discouraged and try some other system or method, 
some “ism,” “pathy,” or “cult.’” But I do want to say , 


42 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


this: every time, without exception, when it comes to 
the management of these functional nervous disorders 
—unfailingly, if the patient plays the game and carries 
out directions—these people get well, they master their 
difficulties. 


Of course, these folks don’t get rid of their wabbly — 


nervous systems and they have to go on in the school 
of self-control until they learn how to manage them- 
selves more efficiently all along the line, but this should 
be understood by all those who are victims of these 
nervous habits and tendencies—they can get well if 
they will. 

A middle-aged woman was unhappy because her sis- 
ter—also living at home—‘‘got on her nerves’’—the 
sister chewed gum. Now, this is one case where I 
didn’t go through with the battle—I started in good 
faith, but when the sister (who was a very conscien- 
tious sort of person) heard that her gum chewing had 


really driven her older sister to consult a doctor, well, 


as she subsequently explained to me, she decided to give 
up gum. She told me the Bible said if anything of that 
sort ‘‘offended your brother” you should give it up—so 
she quit. She got the good out of the situation instead 
of the other sister. 


One young woman was getting the “jim-jams” be- 


cause grandfather constantly tapped his cane on the 


floor while sitting in the living room. A wife was ruin-— 
ing her nerves over a nervous habit on the part of her 


husband of incessantly “clearing his throat”—and it~ 
just made her “furious” because he had to indulge in 


a sharp, barking cough every time he went to answer 


the telephone. Here is a case where we are working | 


on both sides of the trouble. Having explained to the 


q 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 43 


husband the injurious effects of this dry, nervous cough, 
he is slowly overcoming the habit; while we have ex- 


plained to the wife that she no doubt has several little 


habits that may annoy her husband as much as the 
cough worries her. She has decided to rise above the 
annoyance—to overlook it as a trifling personal man- 
nerism—no matter whether he overcomes it or not. 
All over the establishment where this man works and 
at home, I’ve had little signs placed on the telephone 
which read, ‘“‘Don’t cough into this phone—it’s insani- 
tar fi Lin 

(1 have a fastidious patient who specializes in all 
sorts of “eating noises.” If anyone makes the slight- 
est noise consuming their soup or any other food, she 
loses her appetite and wants to leave the table. 

Another high-strung woman is all but sick most of 
the time, worrying over what other people are think- 
ing or saying about her. Here is another man who 
can’t stand to see a person pick his teeth. He once 
refused to sell a piece of real estate just because his 
prospect had a toothpick in his mouth. 

I wish I could tell you how I cured the woman who 
gets so disturbed over “eating noises,’ but the truth is 
I still have her on my hands. This is only one of a 
score of things that “get on her nerves.’ She is one 
of those proverbial “bundles of nerves.” I am trying 
to teach her the art of living with herself as she is and 
the world as it is. I am trying to help her to judge 
and estimate people in accordance with their heredity 
and opportunities for culture and education. | started 
out with the animal world, showing her how she was 
not annoyed by numerous unconventional and unculti+ 


if “ A 


vated habits and practices of our lesser brethren—and 


He 


44 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


x 


then I’m trying to help her to see that various races 4 
and nations as well as numerous persons have their a 
own way of doing things—that our way is not neces- ‘” 
sarily always right or even best, and that we are going a 
to be everlastingly unhappy if we are doomed to suffer 
because of all these things which other people do and 
which we are powerless to prevent their doing. I be- 
lieve we are going to succeed, but we will have to make — 
this woman all over. She will do it step by step just 
as you climb a ladder. It will be a long pull and a a 
hard job, but I think she will go through with the q 
undertaking. | a 
A man of rare patience can stand anything but to 
be pushed or shoved in a crowd—he “blows up’”’ when 
this happens. Some people have “‘fits’” when others . 
mispronounce words. I know of a woman who refused a 
to marry a splendid fellow just because he would pro- a 
nounce Italian with a long “I.” a 
One woman’s pet peeve is to see a dirty child—one ‘w. 
neglected by its parents. Another is made nervous by ie 
a neighbor who comes over and talks fast and stays 
too long. She has nervous chills after the visitor goes. 
What do you think of getting the ‘‘fidgets” just be- 
cause you find yourself in a room or other place where a 
there is no clock! This woman ought to wear a wrist 
watch. A business woman “blows up’ when a man 
“flips the ashes” from his cigar on the office floor. Still 
another woman gets so nervous she leaves the theatre 
when anyone next to her eats candy or popcorn. a 
I know a woman who, wherever she goes, never 
gets through talking about a business associate who 
always leaves her chair in the passageway and hangs 
her coat on the wrong hook. A patient woman will 


mento 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 45 


stand most anything but ‘“‘goes wild” if anybody puts 
their feet on the back of a theatre seat. 

A woman had “brain storms” if a servant or any 
member of the family touched a thing in her dresser 
drawer or happened to leave a drawer open. She acted 
like a lunatic if she didn’t find things just where she put 
them. Another pet peeve was getting nervous watch- 
ing someone cross their legs and toss the foot up and 
down. “ 

This woman who had “‘brain storms”? when anybody 
touched her private belongings is an interesting case. 
I tried to help her for several months, but didn’t get 
very far with her. She did not seem to grasp what 
I tried to tell her; for some reason I couldn’t get hold 
of her. In the meantime she passed through a very 
severe physical illness, and it was during this sickness 
that a neighbor—a very religious woman—called on 
her one day and there sprang up an association which 
survived this illness and eventually resulted in this pa- 
tient embracing the religious beliefs of her neighbor 
—she joined the church, etc. ; and somehow, some way, 


in this new experience she underwent such a psycholog- 


‘cal transformation that all her pet-peeves (for she 


had several) suddenly disappeared. A real change 
seemed to have taken place in her life. 


Equally wonderful cures of nervous people have 


| been brought about by simply falling in love; and while 
- some reader may smile at this statement, nevertheless, 
itistrue. You see, self-centered nervous folks (uncon- 


sciously selfish) are wonderfully helped by any and 
everything that helps them get their minds off them- 
selves, and a love affair is one of the best experiences 
in the world to scatter the thoughts and make us think 


46 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


about something outside of our own feelings and com- 
forts. 

I know a woman who “just can’t stand” to hear 
people talk about the ‘‘good old days,” how much bet- 
ter things used to be than they are now; and | have 
a patient whose pet peeve seems to be the budget 
system. 

Among other pet peeves I have encountered recently 
are the following: To be kept waiting for an appoint- 
ment; to have to sit in a movie or at the theatre near a 
person who is talking loud enough to disturb the per- 
formance; to have persons sit in the back seat of the 
automobile and try to drive the car; to listen to persons 
describe the symptoms of supposed disease, or dilate 
on the details of their recent surgical operations or 
other misfortunes. 

A woman recently confessed to me that it almost 
“drove her wild’ when anyone would drum with their 
fingers on the table or the arm of a chair. Another 
woman had tantrums whenever a salesgirl would call 
her ‘‘Dearie;’’ while an otherwise well-controlled man 
of middle age “boiled within” when anyone would pre- 
sume to read the newspaper over his shoulder. And 
so the story goes on. At any length we could recite 
these commonplace little habits, mannerisms, and 
thoughtless acts which, while they do not amount to 
much, are seized upon by our fellow men and elevated 
to the dignity of “‘pet peeves.” 


MARRIED LIFE PROBLEMS 


A married woman has a husband who tries to be 
funny—he’s hardly a natural born humorist—and his 
attempts to be smart terribly upset his wife. 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 47 


Now here is a real problem and one that is very 
common in the case of married folks. You know when 
I stop to think how serious a business getting married 
is—in fact, marriage is just about the most serious and 
important business on earth—I say, when I stop to 
think how the majority of people go into it without any 
preparation or special training, 1 am not surprised that 
divorce is increasing. It is a wonder to me that many 
of these married couples get along as well as they do. 
They could not expect to succeed in any serious busi- 
ness undertaking in life which they might enter with 
so little preparation and thought, but old Mother Na- 
ture helps a lot of them out and somehow they learn 
to get along as time goes by. 

You see, marriage, aside from the problem of rais- 
ing the children, is largely an experience, a discipline, 
that consists in give and take. Of course, I don’t be- 
lieve any marriage is going to be happy if there is too 
great a variance in temperament and tendencies; but 
on the whole it does us all good if our life-mates are a 
bit different in that it helps us to refashion our own 
characters; at any rate, it breeds tolerance—considera- 
tion for other people—and tolerance is wonderfully 
necessary in order to get along well in this life. 

So in the case of the married woman who is upset 
by her husband’s humor, I am trying to help her to see 
if there isn’t some real subtle humor in her husband's 
wit after all. I haven’t succeeded very well as yet, but 
I am developing her sense of humor, and I hope to get 
her to the place where she will heartily laugh at the 
sight of her husband trying to be funny when he isn’t 
funny, and she does laugh uproariously about it in my 
office. 


How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


You know every doctor meets this constantly—this 
experience of married folks irritating each other. Of 
‘course they don’t tell everybody, but they will tell the 
doctor. About six weeks after folks are married they 
begin to discover things in each other that are a bit 
undesirable, not to say irritating. Now, I believe in 
married folks being frank and honest and trying to 
help each other overcome their most palpable faults; 
but in the case of these little and peculiar personal 
traits, learn to enjoy them; have a good laugh over 
them; be big-hearted and tolerant; love each other in 
spite of them. 

I heard a song the other night over the radio that 
made me laugh heartily. You know we have folks with 
such a peculiar arrangement of the teeth that they can 
hardly talk without a shower of saliva, which is very * 
annoying to some people, and the chorus of this song 
was to the effect that a fellow had a sweetheart who 
“talks like a grapefruit, but I love her just the same.” 

Now in married life we take each other for better 
or worse, and we must not be so foolish as to let little 
things like this upset the happiness of the home. More 
than once I have seen an otherwise happy home spoiled 
over just such trifles. But as I say, these folks are 
foolish if they allow these little, undesirable personal 
traits to influence them so seriously. And by the way, 
I notice that the people, at least the married folks, who 
are so easily upset and have so many pet peeves about 
other people are usually the very ones who are carrying — 
around grudges against their husbands or wives be- 
cause of some little foolish habit that gets on their 
nerves. I think we had better begin at home with this 
whole business and get straightened out. 


EssENTIALS OF HAPPINESS ao 


If there is something about the home folks that is 
keeping your nerves on edge, go to the mat with them. 
Help them overcome it, and if it is something they 
can’t or won’t overcome, then you overcome your un- 
necessary and unwholesome reaction to their little 
faults. Show yourself big enough to rise above them 
and live above them. This is the way some of these 
things have to be handled. We just simply can’t make 
this world over to suit ourselves, and sometimes it is 
well to cultivate the loving attitude, yes, that blending 
of love and sympathy which was the mother’s attitude 
as she watched her boy, marching out of step with the 
regiment. You remember she said that “All the regi- 
ment are out of step but Jim.” 

I know a woman who is so disgusted with her hus- 
band—all because he has a nervous habit of picking or 
rubbing his nose—that it has spoiled their married life 
and about ruined her health. He doesn’t take his fault 
seriously and his wife simply can’t or won’t curb her 
emotional reactions of disgust and resentment. 

The best methods for gaining control of your emo- 
tions—the technic for mastering your “pet peeves” and 
acquiring real self-control—are fully discussed in Part 
[V—The Secrets of Emotional Control. 


i 
3 
iM — 


LATOAAD if oa i ASSOCIATIONS 


@ Human CompANionsHIp—PLEASANT 


Man is naturally a gregarious™ animal—he likes 
to live in tribes. Human beings are inherently social 
beings. No normal individual likes to live by himself. 
Associated with this tribal instinct is the emotion of 1) 


*See the Appendix for further discussion of this and other human” 
instincts and emotions. 


¢f 4 7 


50 How You CAN KEEP SPRY 


security. We feel safer when we ey with our fel-_ 
lows. More or less social life is essential to happiness. 
The higher sentiment of friendship presupposes that 
human beings are going to enjoy the satisfaction of 
working together and playing together. 

Too many of us are unhappy because we are, like 
Robinson Crusoe, marooned—socially speaking—on a 
lonely island. If out of more than one hundred million 
of fellow citizens, each of us has half a dozen real 
friends, who love us and care for us and who are un- 


\. selfishly interested in us—well, if we have such a num- 


‘\“ requires a social life. 


‘ber of real friends, we are indeed fortunate. 
\ We are beholden to another duty—the duty to make 
our friends and our fellows happy as far as lies within _ 
our power. Happiness of the individual which expands 
into the happiness of a people is a great influence to 
prevent wars. | 
There is too little individual joy and happiness. We 
live too much by mass emotion which is so easily swept _ 
‘into the impulse of war. There is too little considera- 
tion, in the nation’s life, accorded to our higher per- 
sonal sentiments. Man is a social being and happiness | 


In olden times speech was not only a means of self- 
expression, but it was the chief mode of instruction. It ” 
was one time necessary to do by the spoken word, by | 
oratory, what is now done by newspapers, magazines, | 
and books; and no doubt there was much real happi- 
rieseleapcrated with the more liberal employment of & 
speech in former generations, because it meant more 
social life on the part of the people; there was more _ 
of a coming together to hear the news of the day and _ 
receive the instruction of the hour. 


i 
J 
1 
} 


: 
[ 


, 
| 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS » 51 


Today we sit in our homes reading the daily papers, 
and listening to the radio. The art of conversation 
is at low ebb, and the social life of modern times is 
greatly curtailed; but we must not forget that man 1S 
still the talking animal, that there is real satisfaction 
associated with conversation..Speech-which-is_of the 
sincere and restrained variety, is a means of the highest 


‘self-expression and can become the channel not only for 


sélf-satisfaction but also for transmitting instruction, 
encouragement, and inspiration to our fellows. 

While most of the special senses are designed with 
the idea of admitting impressions into the mind, speech 
is the one human gift which is designed to afford a 
means of self-expression, and normally employed, is 
certainly no small source of self-gratification, happt- 
ness, and joy. 

A solitary life predisposes to introspection, self-pity, 
and neurasthenia. There are any number of human 
beings who do not thrive health-wise if they are com- 
pelled to live or work alone. It is not generally known 
that neurasthenia and nervous breakdowns are more 
common in the country as compared with the city. This 
is not only due to the long hours which the farmer puts 


‘in, but also to the loneliness of his life. Very few \. 
_ persons can get happiness out of a monotonous hfe 
\\ Variety is truly the spice of life. _ | 


: 


I remember well a few years ago a case of threat- 
ened nervous breakdown on the part of a farmer in a 
mid-western state, and how we averted this calamity 
by taking him off the farm for a year and putting him 
to work in a factory where he was mingling all day 
long with other men, and where he had the moral sup- 
port of fellow workers along by his side to keep him 


52 How You CAN KEEP ~APPY 


at his job, and thus assist in keeping his mind off hims 
self. 


THE DREAD OF ISOLATION 


Most human beings, if compe’led to be alone for any 

great length of time, will at least surround themselves 
with domestic animals. The lonely shepherd is not the 
only isolated human being that enjoys the company of 
a dog. If a boy can’t have a playmate, if he is an only 
child in a family, he at least wants a dog; and wherever 
“possible he will be found casting his lot with some 
“gang.” Man is truly a tribe animal and he is never 
“happy and satisfied when he is compelled to be alone. 
_ The case of a lonely and peculiar bachelor comes to 
my mind. He lived more or less by himself, but was 
far from being happy, and all the while he would com- 
plain about his digestion and other vague miseries, 
aches, and pains. When about forty years of age he 
accidentally met a woman of about the same age, and 
however it came about, they got married. He began 
to cheer up and subsequently they adopted two little 
orphans and you could hardly find a happier man 
within the confines of the country. 

So many times we see cases like this that so clearly 
go to show that man is not happy unless he can enjoy 
the companionship of his fellows. Even work, indis- 
pensable as it is to happiness, is not always joy-pro- 
ducing when it is solitary. We like to work with our 
fellows. Group employment is more conducive to the 
enjoyment of life. é 

Sometimes even married life when it is childless does _ 
not yield the happiness and satisfaction that it other- _ 
wise would. You know someone has said there should 


} 
ee 


EssENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 53 


be no home without a child and no child without a 
home. 

We get comfort and satisfaction out of associating 
together in clubs, lodges, churches, and other social 
eroups, as well as intthe home. Even much of the 
benefit of our play life is due to the fact that it affords 
human association. There is a chance for team work. 

You know they tell a story about two of our Amer- 


ican poets who used to visit each other in the evening, 


and how they would sit there by the hour, sometimes 
the whole evening, smoking, hardly saying a word, and 
how they would separate as the hour grew late, and 
one would often say to the other, ‘“‘Come again, Alfred, 
we have had a grand visit.” 

There is comfort and satisfaction in the presence of 
our fellow creatures even though we sit about in com- 
parative silence; although few words may be spoken, 
there is the pleasure of companionship, the satisfaction 
of association that cheers our hearts and satisfies this 
innate gregarious craving for the presence of the herd. 

Who would think of starting out on a motor trip all 
by one’s self? Not many. Of course, there are excep- 
tions to the rule. We have certain peculiar and odd 
geniuses who, because of some -twist in their psychol- 
ogy, prefer to be alone; but even if these queer souls 
could be jogged out of their solitary rut, they would 
find life newly illuminated and brightened if, through 
some chance, they should be forced to enjoy the com- 
pany of their fellows. 

You know, good mixers are usually happy, not mere- 
ly because these traits are likely to travel in company, 
but from the sheer fact that by being good mixers they 


are afforded more liberal entrance into human society. 
5 


A 


54 How You CAN KEEP HAP? 


They enjoy more friendly association with ¢ \-ir fellows 
and it is this element of human comp: ship that 
adds so much to their happiness. 
- You know the average human being no: only wants 
‘to be in the company of his fellows throu» iout life, 
/but most of us would shrink from the thoug.\« of even 
_ dying alone. 
_ There is the case of a lonely shoemaker who vecame 
very much depressed, and who puzzled me for a year 
or more. Finally I decided that it was loneliness in 
his work that was responsible for his mental and phys- 
ical condition, and I advised him to sell his little shop 
and go to work in a shoe repairing establishment where 
six or eight men were working all day long. Gradually 
he began to recover from his depression; his digestion 
improved; and at the end of the first year in his new 
position, he was a well and happy man. 

Another interesting case—that of a lonely woman, 
a widow, who lived in a large mansion and was waited 
upon by five servants, but who was socially alone. She 
was exceedingly lonesome. Finally we persuaded her 
to open her home to six high class working girls. She 
picked up the first couple and they found the other 
girls for her among their friends. She gave them a 
home and made life in many ways pleasant for them. 
Had parties for them and took them out motoring. 

And what was the result of all this upon herself? 
Why, this mothering these girls and mingling with their 
young friends made a new woman of her. Not only 
was her health improved, but her mental state was en- 
tirely changed. She found health and happiness in 
sharing her life with others and in mingling with these 
normal and cheerful young people. 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 55 


I recall another case—that of a lonely maiden lady, 
quite wealthy, who become so miserable and unhappy 
that when the doctor explained the real cause of her 
trouble, she was not slow to recognize the fact. She 
decided to try an experiment. She rented her home 
furnished for a season, and moved into a girls’ club 
here in the city, and under an assumed name, she 
mingled with these working girls, grew interested in 
them, participated in their social gatherings; and what 
is more, she got well, and there was such a change in 
her attitude toward life that it should be recorded 
that within two years from this time she was happily 
married. 

Likewise I remember the case of a university gradu- 
ate, an unmarried woman, around thirty-five years of 
age, who had become highly introspective, was always 
complaining and ailing, doctoring incessantly, and 
withal had become so miserable and unhappy in her 
temperamental life that her own family disliked to visit 
her. She was persona non grata among her friends of 
former days. We frankly told this patient what we 
thought the trouble was, and advised her to begin at 
once to mingle more freely with her fellows. 

She took the advice seriously. She resumed connec- 
tions with her church of former years—in fact, became 
an active church worker—went into politics, and in a 
half ‘dozen other different ways she made social con- 
tact, and in less than a year’s time, she had cheered up 
and begun to take a new interest in life. Her health 
improved; it was no more necessary for her to visit 
the physician, and the last call she made on her doctor 
was to explain how happy she was and how glad she 
was that she was alive. 


— ee 


56 How You CAN KEEP HAPpy 


It should be recalled that Christ even sent His dis-_ 
ciples out two and two. He did not send them out to 
undertake dificult and pioneer work alone. He rec- 
ognized the truth of a still older Divine admonition to 
the effect that it was ‘‘not good for man to be alone.” | 

Of course, there are times when we like to be alone, © 
by. ourselves, for meditation for short periods; but the © 
healthy, average, normal individual does not crave such - 


solitary occasions for any great length of time. 


I once knew of a very lonely married woman. She | 
was in a way happy in her home; her married life was — 
ideal, except that they had no children. She eventually - 
became nervous, was a chronic ailer, and all this per- 


sisted until the first baby came. All was changed in > 


three months. Life was enjoyable. The home was 


changed; she was no longer alone—baby was company 


—and the former lonely hours of the day that had 


dragged on until her husband would return home at 


night, were now made bright and cheery by the pres- 


ence of this little life which had been entrusted to her — 
care. She had companionship. Health returned, and 


with it, happiness, and good cheer. 


Let me tell you about two lonely, unmarried sisters 


who were growing more and more unhappy. They de- 
cided to overcome the little troubles they had had in 


former years and made their plans to live together. 


They cheered each other up, each brought happiness to 


the other, and out of this companionship they found the _ 


blessings of good cheer and renewed health. 

A few years ago I had a very unhappy man of leisure 
on my hands. He spent most of his time thinking 
about himself and fussing over himself. I tried in vain 
to get him to go to work, and he finally compromised 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS iy 


with me by taking a trip around the world. He prom- 
ised to report to me every two weeks, and he did. His 
letters kept coming, telling how he was bored with the 
trip, how he was sorry he ever agreed to take it. This 
kept up until one day in Egypt, on the way out to view 
the Pyramids, he fell in with a kindred spirit, a fellow 
traveler from his own country, and they decided to hit 
it off together for the rest of the trip around the world. 
I heard from him at frequent intervals, and he seemed 
to be supremely happy. He was having the time of his 
life and was enjoying every day of his experience—an- 
other illustration of what companionship means when. 
it comes to health and happiness. 

Even when a recluse lives by himself in all but soll- 
tary confinement, he many times prefers to locate his 
abode in the midst of a large city with its teeming 
thousands of people of all sorts and kinds. Many a 
misanthrope still chooses to live amidst the bustle and 
turmoil of a great city. We like to see people around. 
The whole idea of parties and entertainments is based 
on this gregarious instinct of the race, and it is a well- 
known fact that the majority of us would not enjoy a 
vacation if we had to take it alone, if we had to spend 
the time of our holiday entirely by ourselves. 


5. AMBITION—PERSONALITY-PRIDE 


If you want to be truly happy, see that your soul » 
becomes possessed by a burning desire to be pintuode a 


Mw i 


or do something worth while in this old world. Ps 
Elation is ‘a primary emotion associated with the 
instinct of sclf-assertion; -* and a moderate degree of 


*For a more tented discussion of elation and other emotions see 
the Appendix. 


58 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


enjoyment of this primitive emotion is quite essential _ 
to happiness. There is real joy in self-expression. — 
There is supreme satisfaction in doing things. We all 
like to “show off” a bit—and there is no reason why 
we should not indulge this natural tendency in modera- 
tion. There is such a thing as pride of personality—a 
sense of one’s own importance and dignity—which, 
when it is gratified, makes us very happy—highly 
elated. 

For a dozer. years I used to see a certain patient— 
off and on— who was very unhappy. She had tried her 
hand at various things, was moderately successful at 
several, but witha], exceedingly miserable. She had 
always wanted to write—had done a little literary work 
—but her folks were not over-impressed with her tal- 
ents along that line. I advised her to take a six months’ 
rest and indulge her writing desires. J did this as a 
remedial effort—purely an attempt to rest her nerves 
and upbuild her health. She greatly enjoyed her liter- 
ary efforts—sold every story she wrote—convinced 
everybody that she was really a sort of genius, and has 
been both happy and successful with her pen ever since. _ 

It is the old problem of the round peg in the square q 
hole. A lot of unhappiness is occasioned by these mis-)_ 
fits. It’s truly hard to be ambitious and enthusiastic) 
about a job you don’t like. Contentment is one of the|/ 
essentials of happiness. ul 

The doctrine about this world being a so-called “‘vale* 
of tears” is a sentiment that should be subdued. We 
have already had too much of that; we will get enough ~ 
of these tears as we pass through the spat ly of | 
life without exalting and honoring this 1 a by accord- 
ing it the dignity of a philosophy. 


f 


EssENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 


If you are going to regard yourself as nothing more , 
than a worm of the dust—if you are willing to lie down ‘& 


and let people walk all over you—well, you can hardly 
expect to be happy. Meek-eyed submission to all the 
rebuffs of life will hardly bring joy to such namby- 
pamby, weak-kneed, milk-and-water sorts of individ- 
uals. Wide-awake, energetic, go-getters are the candl- 
dates for real satisfaction and genuine happiness. 

In the struggle for existence, we must not lose our 


‘ideals. In the defeats of battle we must not part with 


f 
/ 


\ 


ambition, and in the turmoil of living, let us not*lose 
“our courage. 
Let us not forget, as J. G. Holland said*, that: 


“FTeaven is not reached at a single bound; 
But we build the ladder by which we rise 
From the lowly earth to the vaulted skies, 
And we mount to its summit, round by round.” 


The soul that is either self-satisfied or easily satisfied, 
is one that lacks capacity for true joy and real happi- 
ness. There is, after all, supreme happiness in Divine 


discontent—in that hunger and thirst for greater and | 


better things which ever urge us forward and upward. 
There is genuine satisfaction in whole-hearted striving. 
One of the happiest men I know has struggled all 


his life against tremendous odds. He has met un- 


expected reverses; he has overcome exceptional diff- 
culties; he has suffered unusual sickness in his family; 


he has met with staggering losses; but in it all, and 
through it all, he has come up smiling—and determined 
_ —and in spite of it all, he continues to be good-natured, 
happy, and cheerful. I look upon such a man as a real 


*From “Complete Poetical Works,” Chas. Scribner’s Sons. 


How You CAN KEEP HAppy 


¢~s. He has mastered the art of hitching trouble and 
sorrow to the chariot of joy and happiness. 

There is real pleasure in every honest effort to sub- 
due the obstacles which beset our path of progress; 
there is genuine satisfaction in every exertion to sur- 
mount the difficulties which confront us in the journey 
toward our chosen goal of successful attainment. The 


perseverance that is born of ambition is the one thing 


that makes life ““Worth While’ as Ella Wheeler Wil- 


cox wrote :* 


“Tt is easy enough to be pleasant, 

When life flows by like a song, 

But the man worth while is one who will smile, 
When everything goes dead wrong; 

For the test of the heart is trouble, 

And it always comes with the years, 

And the smile that is worth the praises of earth, 
Is the smile that shines through tears.” 


Ambition keeps us happy while we fight the usual 
battles of life. Ambition fires our enthusiasm while we 
play with spirit the game of living. Ambition main- 
tains our courage while we press forward amidst the 
. trials and struggles of our short but eventful careers. 


__._ Ambition feeds hope and strengthens our faith as we 


_ press the battle to the enemy’s gates—as we wrest vic- 
tory from the jaws of defeat and crown our threatened 
failures with the diadem of success. This magnificent 
struggle is beautifully told by Foley in his poem, “Un- 
dismayed” :t 


*From ‘‘Poems of Sentiment,’ W. B. Conkey Co., Chicago. 
+From “Tales of the Trail,’ E. P. Dutton Co., New York. 


a 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 61 


‘He came up smilin’—used to say 
He made his fortune that-a-way; 
He had hard luck a-plenty, too, 
But settled down an’ fought her through; 
An’ every time he got a jolt 
He jist took on a tighter holt, 
Slipped back some when he tried to climb 
But came up smilin’ every time. 


“He came up smilin’—used to git 
His share o’ knocks, but he had grit, 
An’ if they hurt he didn’t set 
Around th’ grocery store an’ fret. 
He jist grabbed Fortune by th’ hair 
An’ hung on till he got his share. 
He had th’ grit in him to stay 
An’ come up smilin’ every day.” 


Incentive is a powerful factor in human happiness. ; e 
The motive helps many a struggling soul to keep up uf 
the effort—to press forward in spite of difficulties. An- 
ticipation is indeed sometimes better than the realiza- 
tion. It is the incentive behind our efforts that imparts 
joy to the endurance of trial and adds pleasure to the 
experience of hardship, as we march on in pursuit of 
the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow of promise. 

We are always happy when we have something to 
work for—to live for. We are strengthened for the 
toil of the day when we have something to look for- 
ward to. Incentive is indeed and in truth the urge of 
ambition. 

A few years ago I watched the finger of ambition 
touch the slumbering intellect of an idle and rather 
useless sort of lad. I never expected him to amount 


62 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


to much in this world; but things began to happen when 
once this chap got into action. He has astonished all 
his friends. There seems no end to the succession of 
surprises attendant-on the unfolding of this young fel- 
low’s career. After seeing what interest and ambition 
have done for this young man, I am about ready to 
believe that thousands of useless mortals are only wait- 
ing the magic touch of enthusiasm to awaken their 
sleeping minds and arouse their latent energies. 

It is not enough merely to indulge in day-dreams. 
Our creative ambition needs the stimulus of accomplish- 
ment. Planning is good as far as it goes, but the real 
joy of living is in the toiling and striving, the effort to 
realize our plans, to bring our dreams to a successful 
issue. It is a real satisfaction to be getting somewhere 
in your life plan, to know that you are on the way; to © 
be occupied day by day with the effort to reach your | 
destination. | 
_ Ambition begets courage, and as we shall find farther 
on, courage is one of the essentials of human happiness. 
Pride is dangerous if it is over-indulged, but there is a 
legitimate pride, a proper self-satisfaction which every 
human being is entitled to experience and enjoy. 

' Ambition also leads to invention and supplies many 
a thrill in our efforts to overcome obstacles and sur- | 
mount difficulties. It is said, you know, that the cotton- 
_gin was invented because a mere youth fell in love with — 
“a pair of bright eyes and decided to do something to — 
attract this woman’s attention and make himself appear 
worth while in her esteem. 

Even the great inventor, Edison, when once asked — 
if his inventions came to him as the result of some great 
inspiration, replied: ‘“‘No, perspi ‘ation, perspiration.” 


\ 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 63 


It is ambition that enables us to work hard with but 


little weariness and fatigue. The more our hearts are 
in our work, the harder we can work with less harm to 
health and nerves. 

Ambition is what sweetens the experience of life. 
When we have an incentive, it lightens the burdens we 
bear, shortens the distance we travel, and lights up the 
dark corners of the earth we may have to strive in for 
a season. 

Ambition brightens the soul of all who follow its 
lead. It cheers us onward, develops our manhood, and 
strengthens the worth while side of human nature; and 
all of this means that ambition adds to the sum of our 
joys, it doubles our happiness, and all this while, at the 
same time, it indirectly contributes to the upbuilding of 
the physical health. 


6. COURAGE—SELF-CONFIDENCE 


Cowards are seldom happy. Courage is essential to © 
human happiness. Self-confidence is the foundation of |» 
bravery. There are many emotions and numerous ~ 
sentiments which find expression and satisfaction in the ~™ 


indulgence of self-confidence and courage. Our.vanity 
—our ego—finds joy in courage. Even patriotism is 
fed by that bravery which springs from courage. 
Courage bespeaks decision. Vacillation and inde- 
cision are the handmaidens of worry and fear. They 
are the arch-enemies of human joy and happiness. 
| Courage* is one of the higher and acquired human 
_ emotions tht represents the triumph of faith over fear. 
hen courage is in the saddle—fear for the time being 
ai ie ap ene eee io ae 


sO 


*See Append'x for a more extended discussion of instincts and 
emotions. 


} 


Wena 


64 How You CAN KEEP fF \) ?PY 


has been vanquished. Fear is at the Veecer nt much 
of our-unhappiness. Indecision anci worry are re- 
sponsible for nine-tenths of our nervous troubles and 
psychic depressions. Now faith is the only known cure 
for fear, and courage is the state of mind that enables 
faith to function as the master of fear. Courage is one 
of the prime essentials of happiness. 

There is great joy when we bring about, through our 
own mental effort and moral discipline, the triumph of 
law over the anarchistic forces of our primitive emo- 
tional nature. There is sublime satisfaction in the 
mastery of our temperamental elements; there is su- 
preme satisfaction in the experience of bringing law 
and order out of the confusion and chaos of an uncon- 
trolled emotional nature. There is real joy in the 
struggle to wrest victory from defeat. Says Guest :* 


‘When you’re up against a trouble, 
Meet it squarely, face to face; 
Lift your chin and set your shoulders, 
Plant your feet and take a brace. 
When it’s vain'to try to dodge it, 
Do the best that you can do; 
You may fail, but you may conquer, 
See it through!” 


There is great power in accumulated effort, even 
though many of the individual exertions be recorded-as 
failures. We may undertake to lift a great weight in 
the gymnasium; our muscular weakness prevents suc- 
cess, but daily trials, if they represent our uttormost | 
exertion, will result in such a sure and speedy muscular * 


*From “Just Folks,’ The Reilly & Lee Co. 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 65 


development that ere long we are able to lift the weight 
and thus success comes to be the sum total of a long 
column of successive failures. And so it is in our efforts 
at emotional control, we may repeatedly try, only to 
fail, but in the end, achieve success through the moral 
muscular development which accrues as a result of our 
faithfulness in failure. 

If you would enjoy peace of mind and happiness of 
soul, have the courage never to reply to personal 
attacks. The best answer to the criticism of your 
enemy is to begin and carry on to completion another 
work. 

Said the poet: ‘“To begin is to complete the first 
half of your work,” and thus it would seem that all we 
would have to do to finish the job would be to begin 
the second time. In other words, it is determination 
and perseverance that win the fight. 

Freezing muddy water precipitates the solids; the 
resultant ice is clear. Decision crystalizes the warring 
and turbulent sentiments of the human soul and purifies 
our emotions, thus qualifying them for higher expres- 

pen and joyful maturity. | 

It is always easy to quit—to give up in the face of ) 

paras. a 


It is comparatively easy to die; the real thing is to 
live and fight the obstacles of life with determination 
and intelligence. Stamina is the secret of success and 
the handmaiden of happiness. Character is the prod- 
eK or achievement, effort, and moral decisions. 
The courage of real manhood stiffens in the presence 
of obstacles. Our self-confidence should react with 
courage when confronted by difficulties. The real man, 
with Henley says: | 


66 How You CAN KEEr :JAPPY 


“Tt matters not how strait the gate, 
How charged with punishment the scroll, 
I am the master of my fate: 
I am the captain of my soul.” 


There comes to my mind a patient who had become 
a victim of chronic fear. He had floundered around 
for five or six years, filling mediocre positions and lead- 
ing a most miserable life. I don’t know that I ever 
knew a man who suffered more keenly from the con- 
sequences of his shortcomings, and yet he lacked the 
courage to strike out for himself. He was so deficient 
in self-confidence that he had become a veritable moral 
coward. I don’t know what would have been the out- 
come in this case had it not been for his wife and two 
daughters. ‘The sight of these people lacking almost 
the necessaries of life finally stirred him to action. 

He left my office one day resolved to attack his 
problems in a fearless fashion, and he did it. He 
suffered untold agonies of nervous torture for three or 
four months until he finally got his trolley on the wire, 
as it were; then his courage began to pick up and he 
pursued his course with increasing success and satisfac- 
tion. As the years have passed, he has been able to 
reap the rewards of his moral courage. You can’t help 
but recognize that courage is truly one of the prime 
essentials of human success and happiness. _ 

How many times we find men and women who are 
made miserable and unhappy by drink and other vicious 
practices which hold them as bond slaves by means o: 
the fetters of habit which they fasten about the soul§ 
How often we observe that courage would serve tc®& 
effect the deliverance of these tormented souls if they 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 67 


but dared to strike for liberty, to make a moral declara- 
tion of independence. 


LOVE AS AN INCENTIVE 


I remember the case of a middle aged man, whom I 
had despaired of ever seeing delivered from his alco- 
holic fetters, but he fell in love with a splendid woman 
and tried to persuade her that if she would marry him 
it would save him; this good woman fortunately had 
sense enough to avoid such a bargain. She put it up 
to him to save himself, to reform first, and then after 
two years of sobriety she would marry him, and he 
did it. He probably would have failed utterly in the 
proposition of getting married first and then reforming 
himself, although he undoubtedly was sincere in believ- 
ing that this woman could save him; but she was wise 
in forcing him to bring about these changes previous 
to marriage. ‘This was several years ago and they are 
enjoying a happy married life. 

When I stop to think of this man’s happy home and 


all that life has come to mean to him just because he 


had the courage to master his inebriety, and then when 


I contrast this case with others who simply will not put 


forth the effort, who are such moral cowards, so lack- 
ing in courage that they will not master their besetting 
sin—well, when I view those who succeed and those 
who fail, I come to appreciate how essential moral 
courage is to human happiness. 

Let me tell you about a certain woman who became 
so fear-ridden that in time she was afraid to leave the 
house, afraid to be left alone. She was tortured by all 
sorts of nervous miseries, had all kinds of ‘dizzy 


spells’? and “dying spells,” and after ten years of this 


68 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


sort of slavish existence, after she had been repeatedly _ 
told and persistently taught that this thing was in her — 
head and that she would find no cure outside of her 
own resolution—well, she decided to make a strike for | 
liberty. She set the date for a certain Sunday morning © 
and when she got up that day, she signed, as it were, 
her own declaration of emancipation. 

It was pitiful the way she suffered for a few weeks © 
as she challenged her anxiety, called the bluffs of her — 
nervous fears, and bravely went forth with determina-_ 
tion to vanquish her obsession and master her dreads, 
but she did it. She fell down a few times the first week, 
but she would re-tackle her fears with this battle cry— 
“T will do this thing. Live or die—I will do it—I am 
going through with it.” And she did. 

It required almost a year, though, to recover from 
the reaction, to pull herself together after she con- 
quered her fears, and it took more than six months to 
get her picked up and built up to that point where she 
could begin really to enjoy normal health; but she won, 
and as she always says, the blessings of a free and 
happy life are so many and so grand that they have 
helped her long since to forget the bitterness of the 
struggle, the intensity of the fight, that she had to go 
through in order to gain her freedom. 

Every human being who goes into the conquest of 
nerves with that sort of determination wins. ‘There 
can be no other outcome but success, victory, when 
courage of this indomitable sort is launched against 
fear and dread. . 
You know our nervous patients always greet us with 
the time-worn phrase, “‘I can’t.” Of course, we know 
Af they would but make up their minds—they could. 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 69 


They say they cannot. Their friends say they will not, 
and we doctors know, of course, that the real truth is, 
“they cannot will.” They lack courage. They won't 
carry on even when they once start the fight on their 
nerves. 

- If we could but impress them with the power and 
influence of positive thinking; if we could only get 
them somehow, in some way, to drop this word “can’t” 
out of their vocabularies. I am reminded in this con- 
nection of a verse in Guest’s poem along this line. He 
says :* 


““Can’t is the word that is foe to ambition, 
An enemy ambushed to shatter your will; 
Its prey is forever the man with a mission 
And bows but to courage and patience and skill. 
Hate it, with hatred that’s deep and undying. 
For once it is welcomed ’twill break any man; 
Whatever the goal you are seeking, keep trying 


And answer this demon by saying: ‘I can’.” 


In this connection, I want to say a word about a sort 
of moral cowardice that is so often shown, particularly 
by young people. They are afraid to stand up for their 
convictions in the face of ridicule; they are too easily 
squelched by flippant criticism. Many a young fellow 
has taken a drink of whisky for no other reason than 
that he feared the ridicule and joshing of his drinking 
companions. Now, I believe that every man and every 
woman should have their own standards of thinking, of 
living, of acting, and that they should never hesitate to 
stand up with all their manhood and womanhood in the 


siete “A Heap o’ Livin’,” The Reilly & Lee Co. 


70 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


face of any cowardly criticism that might be hurled at 
them. | 
This is just as good a place as any other to enjoy the | 
exhilaration that comes from the consciousness of | 
things bravely done. I don’t believe men and women 
are going to be really and truly happy if they have that 
cringing yellow streak in them that will permit them to 
strike their colors in the presence of ignorant rebuffs or 
flippant criticism. Physical courage may be the back- 
bone of bravery but moral courage is the soul of 


) character. 


Before this subject is passed, I must tell you of a_ 
young fellow thirty years of age, who had all but 
acquired the reputation of being a ne’er-do-well. He 
had been drifting about for fifteen years from pillar to | 
post. He had drifted from one position to another and» 
when I first knew him, behaved very much like a | 
whipped dog. He certainly had a well-developed “in- 
feriority complex.’ As a boy he had been bluffed by | 
the town bully, and all along the way had been brow- 
beaten and belabored until he had but little of his” 
original personality left. He had lost faith in himself | 
and had become sore and soured at the world in gen- | 
eral. There was little that was attractive about him | 
and he had become so inefficient that he lost even the 
mediocre position he held. | 

He decided to be thoroughly examined and it was at 
the conclusion of this research, when so little was found 
wrong with him, that he put this question to his doctor: 
“But, Doctor, there is something wrong with me. 
Something seriously wrong—I am a failure. I am 
down and out. What is the trouble with me?’ And 
this is the reply his question drew forth: ‘‘My dear 


i | 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 71 


fellow, there is just one thing wrong with you. You 


lack courage. You are a victim of chronic fear. You 


could go right out of this office and begin a victorious 


struggle with yourself and the world if you only would. 
It is probably too much to expect that you will see this 
thing so quickly, and that you will so soon determine 


_ to change your attitude toward yourself and toward the 
_ problems of life, but you can do it if you will. I sin- 
_cerely hope you will come to see the situation as it is, 
_ and that you will be successful in your effort.” 


Would you believe it? This young fellow did what 


not one in a thousand does. He made up his mind on 
_ the spot; he resolved to act. He secured a position the 
following day, and has been with this one concern ever 


since, having traveled from the bottom almost to the 


top. Today he presides over a beautiful home—the 
home of a successful American business man. He is 
raising a magnificent family. He is supremely happy. 

He seems to enjoy life at its best, and this wonderful 


_ transformation, this splendid deliverance—yes, all this 


superb happiness is the fruit, the harvest of courage; 


| and how sad it is when we have to recognize that 


_ literally thousands of other souls are going on day by 
_ day, victims of fear, slaves of worry, bond-servants of 
' depression, all because they lack the courage to stand 


up like men and women before the problems of life and 


wage the struggle for existence with confidence and 
courage. 


7. RELIGION—FaITH AND HoprE 


Man is naturally a religious animal. All things 


equal, man is healthier and happier if he enjoys the | 
comfort and consolation of some sort of religious be- 


i. How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


lief. True, religion can also be made-a means of fear _ 


and worry—we can become over-conscientious and so 
unduly fanatical regarding religious matters as to make 
ourselves sick and unhappy. 

But there isa satisfying j joy in genuine religious hope 
Faith in a Supreme Being is inspiring and ennobling. 


A good religion is a real shock absorber. Fear is at 


“the bottom of much unhappiness; and faith is the only 


known cure for fear. And religious faith is the master — 


mind cure—no other form of faith can exert such 
power in controlling or influencing human thought. 


There is a peculiar and satisfying sort of joy in the © 
act and attitude of.worship. ‘There is an inspiration | 


connected with the belief in a future existence. But the 


kind of religion that contributes most to our happiness . 
is the sort that, while it assures us of a futurelife, _ 
exhorts us to do everything within our power to make | 


_this old world a better place in which to live. 


Religion affords opportunity for the exercise of many _ 


‘of dur_more.tender.and_.uplifting emotions. Awe, rev- 
erence, gratitude, pity, humility, and altruism are all 
factors in religious experience. In the more primitive 
or ignorant peoples, fear and superstition also play an 
important part in religious beliefs and practices. 

Christianity is founded on the idea and sentiment of 
love—and “perfect love casteth out all fear.” 

Peace, real peace of mind and soul is, after all, the 
art of happiness; and religion affords that “peace that 
passeth all understanding.” 

The pagan people rejoiced with misgiving. They 
lived in constant dread that something was going to 
happen, and it would seem that even modern Christians 
are sometimes fearful to be happy. How often we 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 73 


hear the remark: “It is just too good to be true.’’ We 
seem to forget that we really owe a duty to ourselves 
to be happy so that we will therefore be useful and 
efficient. | 

We must distinguish between true happiness and 
fleeting, sensual pleasure. While the Scriptures seemed 
to look down upon those who are denominated “‘lovers 
of pleasure more than lovers of God,” it should not be 
inferred that the element of pleasure is no part of real 
happiness. True, pleasure is not the end of life but an 
experience to be enjoyed, to inspire and encourage us as 
‘we pass on through life’s varied stages. As we tread 
the path of duty and search for truth, we should not 
despise legitimate pleasure in our quest for true 
happiness. 

_ Many well-meaning souls disdain happiness because 
they confuse it with so-called worldly pleasure. They 
confound it with mere sensual gratification. 

We should remember that the heaven of psychology 
is right here on earth; Christ Himself said “The 
kingdom of heaven is within you.” 

Christ, speaking of His mission on earth, said: “I 
am come that your joy may be full,” and elsewhere in 
the Scriptures we are frequently exhorted to rejoice 
evermore. And even the Wise Man said that “A merry 
heart doeth good like a medicine.” Good cheer is a 
powerful and beneficial medicine. 

Said the Master: “Take no thought what ye shall 
eat, or what ye shall drink, or wherewithal ye shall be 
clothed.” That is indeed the gospel of real happiness, 
of genuine, carefree, unalloyed joy, and represents the 


ideal state of mind for all those who would enjoy the 
ideal of living. 


74 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


We can really form the habit of gladness. We can 
come to experience the peace of mind that the Apostle 
Paul meant when he said, “I have learned in whatso- 
ever state I am, therewith to be content.’’ ‘ Restless- | 
. ness is incompatible with happiness. | 

Of course, we are put in this world for some definite 
purpose. ‘There can be no doubt about it. We have © 
to eat and sleep and play and work and do many of 
these things—but in and through it all, there is some 
hidden and eternal purpose. Now, maybe, we never | 
really know what that purpose is—some of us may— 
some may not. Sometimes we may best fulfill that 
Divine plan by just faithfully plodding on. In other | 
cases, no doubt, it is given us to know something of the 
plan we are a part of. But the important thing i is tor 


| 


ea off this Eee when he short life ends. 


A sorte y havin: OF LIVING 


You see, the ordinary religious belief consists merely 
in getting ready to die. The truth is we get ready to 
die by the way we live. . Our day by day life determines 
what we are and settles beforehand what we can be- 
come when we are through down here. 

We have a right to live as the men and women Goa 
made us—to eat, sleep, think, play, etc.—as we are, 
but in and through this earthly existence, recognize, 
plan for, and prepare for, the next step, the next life, 
when we will be creatures of a different order. It’s 
inspiring to know, not only that there is a purpose in 
our present lives, but also a better and more glorious 
plan and purpose for our future lives. | 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 75 


Every human life presents rough places which must 
be traversed; there are steep hills to climb; fiery trials 
to be endured; fierce storms to suffer from; and many 
bitter defeats to be experienced. In and through all 
these changing vicissitudes, religious hope—spiritual 
confidence—serves to comfort and sustain the wayward 
and cowering human spirit. 

A belief in God helps us to meet the trial with pati- 
ence, the storm with confidence, adversity with forti- 
tude, fear with faith, and even death with the assurance 
of life everlasting. 

There is no disconsolation so bitter, no suffering so 
keen as the feeling that “no man careth for my soul.” 


When we feel that life is not worth the living, that the 
struggle for existence is not worth the reward, that 


. 


{ 


| 


humanity is sordid, business dishonest, and_ politics 
nothing but graft, when all the world seems drab and 
dreary, when we really feel that nobody cares; then it 
is that we find in religion a’sustaining solace, a helpful 
inspiration, an influence that saves some of our ideals 
from being utterly shattered, while its consoling minis- 
tration preserves some of our ambitions to activate and 
energize us on another day. 

Yes, it helps some to feel that there is an over-ruling 
Providence, that there is a sustaining power, that there 


is a supervising engineer who is not only the designer 
but the upholder and director of the great astronomical 


plot of which our world is a part—true, but a tiny 


speck, nevertheless this planet with all it contains is a 
part of the orderly procession of the limitless worlds 
that are whirling on through infinite space. 

This is a universe of order. Our world and its 
associated planets are manifestly subject to law. We 


ro 
) 


76 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


are not living in a hit-and-miss universe. We are dwell- 


ing on a planet that is regulated in accordance with 


well-balanced and magnificently conceived laws. Our 
great object should be to gain that knowledge which 
will help us to live in harmony and cooperation with 
these regulations and laws which are the controlling 
power and influence dominating both the spiritual and 
material universe. 

In life’s darkest hour, religious faith buoys us up 
when cast down for the time being; in the spirit of our 
own mind we can tide ourselves over these periods of 
unusual stress and strain by the inspiration of hope and 
the urge of a well-defined religious faith. 


Hope helps us to bear our burdens, to look beyond\ 


expect better things in the future; even to look beyond 


the darkness and distress of the hour and to confidently | 


the span of one short life and believe in a fuller and 


better existence beyond the grave. | 

It is a great comfort to feel that our ship of per- 
sonality, our planetarial abode, has a pilot, that it has 
a good one, an experienced and reliable guide. It is 
helpful to feel that we have a counselor and friend of 
infinite wisdom and limitless power, even though He be. 
invisible, even though it requires faith on our part to 
grasp and hold the idea. Religion exerts a Stadia 
influence on mankind. 


Human beings are very much like a pendulum, they r 
tend to swing from joy to sorrow, from elation to de- — | 
pression, from life to death; but religion is a great 
regulator in that it gives us a larger, more distinct— 
yes, more idealistic viewpoint, by which to estimate 
other values and from which to determine other — 


relationships. 


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ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS hiv 


While we live in a universe of law, we must not deify 
law. We must remember that there is something be- 
hind all this orderly procession of Nature. We must 
not lose sight of the Law-giver. There simply must 
be some sort of personality behind the visible and ma- 
terial universe. 


Shits 
He | 


ROLE OF RELIGIOUS FAITH Mica 


I had an interesting experience not long ago with a 
patient who, in connection with the study of his emo- 
tional life, when we came to the question of his religious 
experience, frankly stated he doubted very much 
whether he believed in a Supreme Being and he was 
quite sure that he did not believe in a future existence. 
He hastened to say that it was the rankest form of 
egotism to want to live again after you had already 
lived once in this world. He asked me if I believed in 
a personal deity of some sort, and I replied that I did. 
Then he asked me what proof I ‘could give him to 
substantiate my belief in a personal God. I frankly 
told him’ that outside of what appeal the physical 
universe might make to him in its vastness and com- 
pleteness, I had no evidence to present, aside from my 
own personal beliefs and experience. 

He was a married man, and I asked him if he loved 
his wife. He assured me he did, and I asked him if he 
could prove it to me. He flushed and said, ‘‘No, I 
can’t prove it to you, but my wife believes it.”” I told 
him that many things about my religious beliefs were 
very much like his attitude about his wife, that it was 
undoubtedly a real experience to me, but that I didn’t 
know just how to go about proving my experience to 
him, that it was a personal matter with me. 


( . 


78 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


When we talked further about his belief in a future 


existence, I asked him if he believed in evolution, and ™ 


he replied that he did. Then I put this question to 
him: ‘Do you mean to tell me that you think the 
present human race—you and I as concrete illustra- 
tions—represent all that God, or whatever is managing 
evolution, can produce? Are we the final product? 
Are we the best that can be done? Do you and I 
represent the last word in personality?’ Again he 
flushed and replied, “‘No, I guess not. I guess when I 
come to think about it, maybe after all, I believe in a 
future existence.” 

So we must remember that natural law is flexible. 
Man is able to do very much to dominate his material 
surroundings, to manipulate physical force and to rise 
above the control of natural law. Modern science with 


its inventions is ample proof of the flexibility of phys- ‘ : 


ical laws and it is a source of real happiness to the 
human race to enjoy the concept that there is a Law- 
giver behind it all. 


There is joy as we contemplate the thought that -: 
there is a supreme court, a final tribunal before which 
the injustice of the hour shall ultimately be rectified, 
that there is a harbor in every storm, and that the ever-_ 


lasting arms are a real refuge in time of distress. 


whe experience of religion is just as real as anything 
that exists in other realms of human nature; and the — 
happiness and joy that come therefrom are just as real, — 
if not more so, than the happiness and joy we secure © 
from the more transient and fleeting pleasures of our 


day by day life. 


I want to tell you about a case, a patient of mine, 
who, although he had made great gains in his physical 


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ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 79 


health and his nervous control, was still far from being 
a happy man. He didn’t get along well with his wife, 
was always having trouble with his business associates, 
and although I had intimated to him repeatedly that I 
thought he ought to improve his spiritual nutrition and 
try to develop his religious life a bit, the suggestion 
didn’t seem to take hold. Finally a real calamity befell 
him, a catastrophe overtook him, and he was driven to 
his knees, as it were. He felt he would have to have 
help from some source that was superhuman. His 
better nature seized the reins, the spiritual side of his 
character came to the front. He sought refuge in re- 
ligion, and found it. 

This man’s whole life has been changed. He is 
happy in his home. He gets along splendidly with his 
new business associates. His grouch is gone. He has 
ceased to whine and complain about his health. He is 
all over his tendencies toward periodic blow-ups. He 
has control of his nerves. He acts and talks like a real 
man; he is a real man; he is a man living a real life, a 
balanced life. He is not a one-sided individual, a 
crank, a grouch, a whiner. His emotional life now is 
well balanced between work, play, religion, and his 
social life. 

So many times have I seen religion work wonders 
for frail humanity. I have seen it uplift the fallen, and 
cheer the downcast, and inspire the weak, but I never 
Saw a more spectacular, almost miraculous transforma- 
tion than occurred in the case of this man. 

I am also reminded in this connection of a woman, a 
business woman about thirty-five years of age, who was 
breaking down her health, whose nerves were on edge 
—well, the stage was all set for a grand and glorious 


( 
\ 


80 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


smash-up. She was about to go to pieces. Happiness 
she had sought, but it had eluded her. She had made y 
that common mistake of trying to find happiness in 
pleasure, in seeking for joy in excitement, in looking 
for satisfaction in mere diversion. About this time she 
was seriously injured in an automobile accident, and a 
long sojourn in the hospital led to thinking, real 
meditation. 

Encouraging words dropped now and then by visit- 
ing friends, but more particularly the kind ministration 
of a Christian nurse, brought about a change of view- 
point, producing a new way of looking at life, and this 
woman—without going through any experience such 
as would ordinarily be called a conversion—found re- 
ligion, found it for herself and by herself in a room in 
the hospital. I don’t know whether or not she has 
since joined a church, but I know she has become an 
extremely happy woman, an extremely useful woman. 

The transformation is evident to all her friends, and 
it is but another illustration of the fact that man is by 
nature religiously inclined, and that he feels better if © 
he has some sort of religion—no matter how simple — 
and childlike it may be, it serves the purpose of pro- 
viding for proper emotional elimination along spiritual 
lines; it is good for the health and contributes to ~ 
happiness. 


WHAT RELIGION EMBRACES 


Now, of course, what I mean by religion is not a — 
dogma, a creed, a formula of some sort—lI intend to ‘ 
include all spiritual and moral influences. Music and 
art are a part of my definition of religion—the in- 
spirational side of life and all that tends to urge mate- — 


: 
LN 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 81 


rial man to attain to spiritual living. I am not, as a 
part of a religious experience, having in mind any 
efforts to communicate with the dead, or any of those 
fantastic or bizarre ideas that come into prominence 
now and then, and attract attention. 

By religion I mean the worship of the Infinite, the 
love of the spiritual, together with loyalty to those 
concepts and ideals which are superhuman and divine. 

In this connection I want also to tell about the case 
of a married woman, about fifty years of age, who had 
led an extremely selfish life. She was wholly self- 
centered. Her health was poor. Her nerves were all 
but shattered. She had refused to have children; she 
didn’t want to be bothered with them. She was one of 
the most selfishly selfish women I think I ever met. For 
twenty-five years her husband had endured this. He 
saw that she was getting worse instead of better, and I 
remember so well the day that he placed his wife under 
my professional care, and said to me frankly: ‘Doctor, 
if you can’t help her, I am going to leave her. I won’t 
stand it any longer. I have only a few years left. I 
am going to have a little happiness. I am not going 
to spend the remainder of my life tied down to such 
selfishness and misery. Now, you do your duty, for if 
you fail, I am through.” 

And I knew by his manner that he meant it, and so 
when everything else failed to help his wife, and when 
all my efforts seemed to make little or no impression 
on her, I told her frankly that her husband was going 
to leave, and he backed up his words by promptly 
Starting suit for divorce on the grounds of extreme 
mental cruelty, etc. The divorce suit did the business. 
She waked up, she came to herself, and I never saw a 


82 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


case of neurasthenia, hysteria, hypochondria and what 
not, cured in such short order in my life. She said to 
me: ‘Doctor, what is the quickest way to get over this 
thing? What is the best technic for getting rid of 
myself and starting life anew? Show me the quickest 
and shortest route. I will pay any price. I will do 
anything.”” When I told her that she would probably 
have to look to religion if she wanted to get big things 
done in a hurry, she said: ‘What kind of religion? 
Where will I get it? Where will I find it? Show me 
the way.” | 

And so I sent her in to my wife and professional 
co-laborer. I don’t know what happened. I guess 
some sort of a psychologic phenomena took place in 
there that might be called a new birth. I confess I 
don’t understand a lot of things in theology, but 
psychologically speaking, a new woman came out of 
that office. She discontinued all treatment and further 
ministrations on our part, and went home saying: 
“Don’t you worry about me. I will make good.” In ~ 
two weeks I got a letter from her husband, asking: 
‘‘What in the world has happened, Doctor? What did 
you do to her? She is changed, positively changed. 
Do you suppose it will last?” 4 

I wrote back to him that I hoped it would, that she _ 
seemed to exhibit signs of genuine repentance and that 
I wished him a new and better life. She made good. ~ 
She went into philanthropic work. She paid particular ~ 
attention to charitable work for children, and the last I — 
heard their home life was indeed happy, with five little — 
adopted ones sitting around their board. The last — 
letter I received from this woman was replete with — 
expressions of joy, happiness, and real satisfaction. 


ESSENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 83 


Now, [ am frank to confess I never saw many experi- 
ences like this; it is one in a thousand. I have had a 
pretty large and rich experience with folks who need 
this sort of help, and I have seen religion do a whole 
lot to help a large number of my patients, but this case 
is one of half a dozen apparent miracles that I have 
seen happen; but it serves the purpose of illustrating 
what religion can do and will do if we really get it, or 
1 presume it would be better to say, if it really gets us. 


RELIGIOUS DIFFICULTIES 


I want to tell you also about the case of a young 
man, twenty-five years of age, unmarried, a college 
graduate, who came complaining of many things, both 
physical and nervous, but when we got to the bottom 
of it, his troubles were found to consist largely of 
worry over science and religion. He had a good re- 
ligious training in his youth. He went to college and 
of course was taught many things that did not har- 
monize with his early religious training. He worried, 
and fell into the error of thinking that he should be 
able to reconcile everything about science and religion 
—all the teachings of theology on the one hand, and 
the teachings of science on the other. Of course, he 
couldn’t make them dovetail. There were many points 
at which there seemed to be divergences, and he 
allowed anxiety over this to worry him so that it all 
but ruined his health. 

Now, I tried to explain to this young fellow that 
Science represents what we know or think we know 
about the material universe, that philosophy represents 
what we think about the problems of life, and that re- 
ligion represents how we feel, what we believe about 


' 


84 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY : 


things invisible, spiritual, eternal—and the future, 
Finally he came to see that he could enjoy religion even 
‘f he couldn’t reconcile all the doctrines of the church 
with the teachings of modern scientists. He came to 
see that if we could fully understand, explain, and dem- 
onstrate everything about religion to scientific nicety, 
that it would not be religion at all; it would be a new 
form of science. 

He came to see that religion was a personal experi- 
ence, and he untangled his psychology and started out 
to enjoy life; found deliverance from his mental tor- 
tures and psychologic anxieties; found that religion is a 
thing separate and apart, but that it can be enjoyed 
and experienced independent of all other things and 
considerations. | 

I am all the time meeting people who are getting 
sick over religious worries. Conscience is leading them 
into serious psychic trouble, but more about these mat-— 
ters later on when we discuss those things which inter-_ 
fere with happiness. Suffice it to say now that while — 
conscience is indispensable to modern civilization, it is 
not the voice of God to the soul. It merely represents” 
our inherent and acquired standards of right and — 
wrong. We should not overlook the fact that while 
conscience always tells us to do right, it never tells us 
what right is. *. 

I remember the case not long ago, of a teacher who 
was upset, worried, losing weight, sleeping poorly, and — 
at first I thought she was perhaps a victim of tuber- — 
culosis, but I found her lungs in very good condition: 
When we got into her emotional life, we found she was 
having religious troubles. She had theological worries; 
we advised her as best we could, and sent her to @ 


nh 
. 


EysENTIALS OF HAPPINESS 85 


tactful and wise clergyman, who set at rest many of 
her relig’ sus fears, and helped her over most of her 
theological difficulties, and then she began to blossom 
as the flowers in springtime; put on flesh, slept well, 
and in ninety days the physical picture had completely 
changed, the mental atmosphere was wholly trans- 
formed. Now she enjoys the best of health and of 
course is very happy. 

: And I might add many other cases to this testimony 
regarding the joy-producing power of a well-balanced 
religious faith, and it is but fair in this connection to 
say that one religion will do this work just as well as 
another. Religion does not have to be true and genuine 
in a spiritual sense to produce profound psychologic 
effects in human experience. 

_ Health is, generally speaking, improved by the 
tranquil, state of mind which accompanies a sincere 


the human soul is dedicated—consecrated—to 
some ort of religious belief. Now, just because it is 
a psychologic fact that one religion will minister to 
health and happiness as well as another, I would not 
have the reader infer that I personally entertain such 
an indifferent belief regarding one’s spiritual life. 

I i Dee to be a believer in the Christian religion, 
and of course, I think the Christian religion will not 
only do all these things toward the promotion of 
health and the fostering of happiness—I say, I not 
only believe that Christianity will do all that any other 
religion will do, but I personally believe there is some- 
thing additional, something supernatural and exquis- 
itely sjpiritual, something divine, about Christianity. 

7 


86 How You CAN KEEP H2PPY 


Therefore, when it comes to religion as 2 happiness - 
producer, I would not indifferently recommer {1 any one 
of several religions; I would recommend the sublime | 


and supernal teachings of Jesus Christ. 


\ 


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| 


PAR DOTY 
THE LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 


E HAVE considered the seven essentials of 

V happiness; now we come to the seven luxuries of 
human joy and well-being. By the luxuries of happiness 
we refer to a group of influences which, while not truly 
essential to fundamental happiness, are nevertheless, 
highly contributory to the greatest joy of living. 

If rightly understood and wisely utilized, these so- 
called luxuries of happiness are able greatly to augment 
the degree of joy which can be experienced by the 
average man or woman. Let us study how we may 
wisely employ these joy-luxuries so as to make our lives 
more rich and worth while. 

In an industrial age, such as the present, we are in 
possession, as a nation, of abundant material goods 
whose proper distribution would contribute something 
to the pleasures of living, and it is in this connection 
that politics and industrial policies come to touch 
elbows with the subject of happiness. 

We must learn in the conquest of self, to harness the 
emotions of the savage to the service of reason—to 
utilize the potential of barbarous impulses in the co- 
ordinate work of civilized man. 

What we call society is all but empty of real and 
abiding pleasure. About its only satisfying emotion is 
the feséin » o}that uncertain happiness producer called 


” 


\ \ 


87 


88 How You CAN KEP | HAPPY 


How shall we distinguish betwee those things which 
might be called the legitimate comforts of living and 
the harmful and happiness-destroying luxuries of life? 
Possibly the best single criterion would be to throw out 
all our pleasure-seeking and happiness efforts which 
have their roots in vanity. 

Again, we must not overlook the value of our small 
efforts, as in the end they are added up into the sum 
total of temperamental change and emotional control. 
What is a step compared to the ascent of Pikes Peak, 
and yet when we reach the mountain heights, we have 
attained our goal merely as the result of a succession — 
of these single steps. As we stand in the lowlands and 
view the heights, we must recognize that we scale them 
by the repetition of individual steps. 

We will continue the study of the luxuries of happi- 
ness under the following seven heads : 


Wealth—leisure. 
Play—humor. 
Education—culture. 
Art—music. 
Travel—adventure. 
Home—and children. 
A settled philosophy. 


Soe 


1. WEALTH—LEISURE 4 


While wealth is not really essential to Bunminesd it 
can be made, if rightly employed, to contribute enor- q 
mously to one’s enjoyment of life. -Money will not — 
only enable us to obtain many things that are essential 
to happiness on the one hand, but ji]l also enable us 
to supply ourselves with numerogs conveniences and 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 89 


luxuries which are sometimes indirectly contributory to 
me happiness. Wealth also enables us to do 


nen 
— 


k the soul, and thus indirectly contributes to the sum 


of our happiness in that it increases the satisfaction of 


living. 

~ There is no question He that discoveries in recent 
years, not only in the matter of natural resources, but 
in labor saving machines and other inventions—auto- 
mobiles, the radio, etc.—I say, there can be little doubt 
but that all of these developments have actually in- 
creased the potential of human happiness. ‘That is, 
they have made it possible for a greater number of 
people to live a broader and fuller life, to actually get 
more out of living. 

Improved methods of agriculture, time-saving and 
labor-saving devices—all these things have made it 
possible for a larger number of people to enjoy more 
happiness during the span of one’s short life on this 
planet. 

We may call attention again to the fact that many 
poor people are quite happy, though it will be admitted 
by everyone that when human beings descend to the 
level of poverty, happiness is greatly curtailed. On 
the other hand, no one can help but recognize that a 
wider distribution, a better division of property, as is 
coming about in the world today, is adding enormously 
to the joy and happiness of tens of thousands of human 
beings. } 

There is no use trying to evade the fact that the 
possession of property, the control of moderate wealth ¢. 
on the part ot the average person, contributes enor- / 
mously to happiness. When you own property you are | 


90 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


not only able to provide your loved ones with the — 
necessities and some of the luxuries of life today, but 
you feel more safe and secure against tomorrow; 
against the time when old age may cripple and curtail 
your earning powers. 

' Moderate wealth affords a feeling of security and 
safety against the future, against the years of declining 
earning capacity. I say moderate wealth because of 
the well-known fact that many of the enormously 
wealthy classes are exceedingly unhappy. They are 
overburdened with the care of their wealth—at least, 
as I have observed them in my office, they are often far 
from happy. 

The extremes of poverty on the one hand, and the 
extremes of affluence and wealth on the other, conspire 
to bring about unhappiness. It has been my observa- 
tion that those who are moderately well-to-do are most 
happy, seem to have the greatest capacity for happiness 
and enjoying life. 

I have seen some very poor people who were quite 
happy, but it seemed to me they were on the borderline 
of feeblemindedness, and I must say I know some very 
wealthy folks who are very happy—not that I would 
imply that they border on feeblemindedness; they sim- 
ply know how to bear their wealth gracefully, utilize it 
wisely, while withal they do not allow it to spoil them — 
or to interfere with their humanness. \ / 

I know a man, a very wealthy man, a selfish, stingy 
soul, who is very unhappy. I have often pitied him 
and wondered if there were anything that could com 
‘into his life to stir him up and give him a little joy. 
There seems to be but one satisfaction. which can serve 
to cheer his lonely and unhappy existence and that i 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 91 


the consciousness of the power of the possession of the 
wealth which he controls, and sometimes he has used 
this power in a very unscrupulous and unholy manner. 

Let me tell you about a young man and a young 


woman who married a few years ago on fifty dollars a 


week: How they managed to get along, I don’t know. 


They have really suffered some of the stings of poverty. ‘ 


They have two little ones now and at the present time 
they are still maintaining a little home and raising 
these two children on seventy-five dollars a week. 
They never complain. They are cheerful; they both 
seem to be very happy. One could hardly say they are 
contented, but he is struggling on, living in hopes of 
being able to earn more money. Devoted to his work: 
he is not a man of great ability, and is probably never 
going to earn a very large income, but they seem to be 
supremely happy in the home they have founded and in 
the family they have started to raise. 

They have most of the essentials of happiness but 
certainly, aside from their home and children, have few 
of its luxuries. One cannot help but recognize how 
their joy would be augmented if they had just a little 
more, but perhaps it will be all the sweeter when they 
toil for it and wait for it and anticipate it, and then 
later on, get it. It is folks like this that make us real- 
ize, help us to appreciate, that happiness is a matter of 
the soul, that it is a kind of internal climate, and that it 
does not, after all, consist in the abundance of the 
things which we possess. 


THE PROVINCE OF DRUDGERY 


The general increase in intelligence, the availability 
of education for the rank and file, is undoubtedly a 


92 How You CAN Kk “ip HAPPY 


factor which has had to do with. che more wide-spread 
accumulation of wealth, the development of natural 
resources, and the possession on a larger scale of those 
material things which contribute to human happiness. 

The wider distribution of wealth, the possession of 
money on the part of a greater number of people, and 
in larger amounts, is in this generation contributing to 
free the white race from the slavery of poverty, just 
as great political movements and military operations in 
the past have freed the black race from slavery and 
numerous peasant races from serfdom. 

It is all right to talk to young people about the 
blessedness of drudgery. A certain amount of trouble 
and training and discipline is essential to the salvation 
of youth. Indolence and idleness are associated with 
vice and intemperance. When it comes to the rising 
generation, we cannot expect to keep them pure unless 
we make them work. They need a certain amount of 
hardship, and so I am willing to subscribe to those 


teachings which recognize the mission of drudgery; 


but when folks grow up and have the responsibility of 
a family and all that, I know full well, as a physician, 
that drudgery is not blessed. 

We can bear a certain amount of responsibility and 
live in the presence of certain difficulties, and seem to 
get moral discipline, spiritual culture, and character 
development out of these adverse experiences, but when 
you push this too far, happiness not only takes its 
flight, but health likewise departs. A certain amount 
of drudgery may be good, but too much is fatal to both 
health and happiness. | 

We therefore welcome those developments in human 


society which more and more relieve adults from over- 


. Aull 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 93 


intense application and too much drudgery; but we do 
not look with favor upon this tendency of young men 
and young women to grow up in idleness, for we still 
believe in the old adage, when it comes to the young 
folks, that ‘‘Satan finds mischief for idle hands to do.”’ 

One of the great advantages of wealth, when it 
comes to the question of happiness, is that the posses- 
sion of money enables one to enjoy leisure, and a cer- 
tain amount of leisure, if it is not indispensable to hap- 
piness, is certainly a great nid in increasing one’s ca- 
pacity to enjoy the pleasures of living. 

Toil may be good for the human species and Hide | 
" ery may be a blessing i in disguise, but we must not for ( 
one moment lose sight of the fact that a reasonable 
amount of leisure is quite essential to happiness. 

‘There are individuals who, because of necessity or 
through acquiring the hurry habit, are always in a rush; 
hardly have time to breathe; are never able to stop 
for a moment to enjoy life. I say, such a hurly-burly 
life of hustle, drive, and work, is incompatible with the 
real enjoyment of happiness. 

True, a great many persons might have more leisure 
than they enjoy. They are unnecessarily busy; they 
have an exaggerated sense of the importance of things, 
including themselves; and they are altogether too seri- 
ous about their daily duties and the ordinary obliga- 
tions of life. Such persons need to acquire a different 
viewpoint of the relative importance of the daily de- 
mands of an ordinary life, and thus be in position to 
provide a sufficient amount of leisure in order to enable 
them to enjoy the pleasures of living. 

It is the possession of wealth, at least in moderate 
amounts, that enables one to have the leisure that pro- 


How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


® 
v 


vides for play, recreation, and many of the more enjoy- 
able pastimes and pursuits, which are a part of a well- 
ordered and well-proportioned human life. 


THE WISE USE OF WEALTH 


One of the best ways in which wealth can be used in | 
-large amounts to help humanity is to set in operation 
enterprises which will help men to help themselves. It 
is all right to endow hospitals and to found other sorts 
of charitable institutions, but this can be overdone. 
What man most needs is an opportunity to help him- 
self. 

Wealth is best utilized in the founding of enterprises 
and institutions which give men a chance to work, a 
chance to improve their own condition by means of 
their own personal exertion. 

I know of a family here in Chicago that has been the 
recipient of a great deal of charity from a certain 
wealthy couple and all that it has done for them is to 
enable them to raise ten feebleminded, defective, de- 
generate children, and I cannot help but regard the 
whole thing as a curse to future generations. ‘This 
wealthy couple have really founded a dynasty of vaga- 
bonds, drunkards, thieves, murderers, and prostitutes, 
for already the oldest of these children have begun to 
reproduce and replenish the earth with their feeble- 
minded and degenerate offspring, both legitimate and © 
illegitimate. 

Wealth can be unwisely used in so-called charity and 
philanthropy so as to perpetuate the miseries of pov- 
erty and degeneracy in future generations; to add to — 
the numbers of that great “aristocracy of the unfit” 
whose dependent members must be supported by their 


5 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 95 


7 


. 
more thrifty and strong-minded fellows. Charity and 
philanthropy are not always compatible with the eu- 
genic welfare of a race or nation. 

At the time of this writing I am thinking ase a 
wealthy couple who get a great deal of enjoyment out 
of their riches; they use their money in wise ways to 
help a great many others. Scores of persons have been 
helped to help themselves because of the wise giving 
here and there on the part of this couple, and they are 
exceedingly happy and active—they are useful mem- 
bers of society. He toils in the business world, while 
his wife is a very useful woman in club life and takes 
a great interest in civic affairs. She is a social servant, 
she is not an idle butterfly. 

I know the Scriptures say that the “Love of money 
is the root of all evil,” but it is not the money or the 
possession of it that is evil; it is the use or abuse of it | 
that constitutes the evil; it is the inordinate love of it, 
and the love of it for itself and for the selfish power 
it may represent. Money, if wisely used, can always 
be made to contribute to human happiness. Wealth 
may be the source of the real and higher joys of living 
if it is properly understood and wisely utilized. 

Because of such erroneous interpretations of other- 
wise laudable teachings, many persons are looked upon 
as being wicked just because they are wealthy and it 
may be that two thousand years ago the kind of rich 
men they had were such that it would be “easier for a 
camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich 
man to go through the Gates of Heaven,” but I think 
the time has come when we are going to have rich men 
who, because of talents they have inherited, because of 
native ability, are going to use riches in a way not only 


96 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


to contribute to their own happiness, but to bless the 
whole human family, and that these rich men are going 
to be just as eligible to realms of future bliss and glory 
as any poor man who has toiled along the pathway of 
life through this so-called vale of tears. 

A man does not have to be rich to be wicked. Plenty 
of poor folks are able to exhibit this same human ten- 
dency. Character is after all quite separate and apart 
from the possession of wealth. 

Money is simply a symbol of value and riches—po- 
tential energy. It is of itself neither good nor bad, any 

e- more than fire, water, electricity, or any other material 
“ thing or physical force. Its character after all is deter- 
) mined largely by the use to which it is put and by the 

/ motives and purposes dominating the mind of the one 
£. who exercises the control. 

Wealth is a leverage that can be used for personal 
enjoyment and racial improvement. Man does not 
create gold, he simply finds it. Our natural resources 
are a species of divine philanthropy and every person 
who discovers or happens to find himself in control of : 
these means to human happiness, should look upon his 
possession of these resources as a sort of trusteeship. 

Natural resources are not things which man himself — 
has earned; he simply has discovered them; he has been 
fortunate in finding them and he should hold them in 
trust, as it were, for the benefit of the whole human 
family. There should be a great difference between 
the feeling of the right of possession in the control of 
an oil well or a gold mine as compared with the feel- 
ings of a farmer in the right of possession of the grain 
which he has raised by his personal cultivation of the 
soil. 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 97 


I am thinking about the case of a man that was made 
rich by the War. His wife scarcely knows how to read 
or write. Of course his wealth, after long delays, has 
made an entrance for him into several clubs, but still 
his wife lingers behind, fearful to mingle with her fel- 
lows, robed in silk and bedecked with diamonds, but 
unable to carry on a satisfactory conversation with the 
average high school girl without betraying her lack of 
education and culture. Now these people are about as 
unhappy a couple as | know. They were happy in their 
married life before they had riches. | 

As might be suspected, the possession of all this 
money makes this man a shining mark for the unscru- 
pulous female of the species, and all this has made the 
wife inordinately jealous, and well—they are simply 
unhappy, miserable. Joy has taken leave of their 
home and many is the time I have heard this woman 
pine for the days of their poverty when they were so 
happy and enjoyed their children. Of course, the chil- 
dren are being raised in idleness, and it is not going to 
take them long, according to present indications, to 
spend their father’s money when it is once entrusted 
to their hands. 

This is a case where wealth has not been wisely used. 
They did not have the necessary training and discipline 
to enable them to bear it gracefully and to manage it 
efficiently. It has proved a curse to this family and I 
think is going to prove a curse to their children. 

How many cases I have come in contact with where 
wealth has cursed its possessors because it has led them 
to attempt the impossible, to try to break into society, 
to try to mingle with men and women of culture. It 
has led them to shun the society of their friends of 


98 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


former days, and they are unable to gain entrance to * 


the social circles of their more cultured, wealthy 
fellows. 

There is not only joy in the possession of moderate 
wealth because of the power and possibilities which it 
represents, but there is real pleasure in playing the 
game of commerce. ‘The opportunity to hunt and 
compete and fight as indulged by our primitive ances- 
tors is rapidly disappearing. We even talk about out- 
lawing war, but we must substitute other games, which 
will intrigue the minds of men and will satisfy their 
innate hunger and thirst for competition and rivalry. 
We must not overlook the fact that trade is a wonder- 


ful education and business an invaluable discipline and 


training. 


THE CURSE OF POVERTY 


We must remember that when we cultivate the sheaf 
and prune the tree, we not only enhance the harvest 
we subsequently reap, but we are also cultivating the 
mind; there is ripening in the heart of the world’s 
workers those spiritual fruits—patience, courage, and 
perseverance—which are invaluable in the develop- 
ment of a strong and worth-while character. 

The search for wealth, the effort to earn money, has 
led the human race to encircle the globe, to sweat in the 
tropics, to shiver in the Arctics. It has opened up the 
whole world today to be the dwelling place, the play- 


ground, and the workshop of the human species. And © 


we must remember that all this effort to explore and — 
discover, this struggle for wealth, has done much not — 


only to enrich the nation but likewise to enrich the char- 
acter of each struggling person. 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 99 


While we do recognize the fact that a <ingle indi- 
vidual will sometimes apparently prosper in poverty, 
we must also note the fact that a nation never _ es. 
|Nations are prosperous only when they are reasonably 
‘wealthy. 

In primitive times the savage was punished by the 
sufferings of cold; he was chastised by the pangs of 
hunger, and then he took lessons from the squirrel and 
from the bee and the hoarding emotion enabled him 
to save, to lay by in store, and thus the biologic ten- 
dency toward accumulation of wealth began to act in 
our earlier ancestors. Nature flogs man in poverty, 
but comforts him in wealth, and thus the possession of 
property has come to be regarded by modern man 
as his great security against ill health, suffering, and 
sorrow. 

Again let me say that the possession of wealth in 
and of itself is not an evil; it is avarice that blights our 
riches. Wealth becomes an evil only when it augments 
selfishness and increases cruelty, because it happens to 
fall in the hands of the unkind and unjust. Wealth is 
a curse only when it causes the rich to become unhappy, 
cold, scornful and unsympathetic. 


THE CURSE OF RICHES 


How many times we see the idle rich slaves of ava- 
rice, bond slaves of wealth. They do not have riches 
—money has them. It is this very type of wealthy per- 
son who, in the presence of real need, hesitates to be 
liberal. It was this type of man who once, when writing 
a check to help alleviate distress on the part of those _ 
who were suffering from the devastation of a storm,, 4 
said, “It hurts me to give.” ‘ahs 


. 
100 iow You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


I kno~ a man who was a prince of a fellow before 
he was’ rich; he was happy, big-hearted, and sympa- 
thetx: All who knew him loved him, but he suddenly 
found himself the possessor of a million dollars. He 
has become cold, crabbed, and unsympathetic... You 
can hardly smile at him but that he thinks you are try- 
ing to get some of his money away from him. He has 
shut himself away from the world. Very few people — 
seek his society unless they have business to transact 
or desire to get something from him, and all of this, 
by the way, partly explains why he is so suspicious of 
even those who would be friendly with him for friend- 
ship’s sake. But however it came about, he has lost 
his friends, he is quite useless to the world, aside from 
the power for good or for evil which his money repre- 
sents, and he is unhappy. 

This rich man travels over the face of the earth, 
feverishly seeking happiness and the restless search for 
joy ever continues futile. If he would just come down 
off his high horse and be a man among men, and make 
an honest effort to be like he used to be, he would have 
a fine time, because he has in his wealth now the means 
for augmenting every one of those sources of joy in 
which he used to take satisfaction, while he has the 
liberty now to enjoy his friends and to give some of the 
more oppressed among his acquaintances a greater op- 
portunity to more fully enjoy life and their mutual 
association; but his is a case where, instead of having 
wealth, wealth has him. He has tried to live a new and 
artificial existence, suddenly transposing himself from 
_ one world to another, and he has failed. 

_ We must never fail to recognize that wealth gained 
at the price of becoming inhuman and tyrannical is 


ty 
28 
sy 
Mm 
Rag 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 101 


‘power dearly bought. We encourage our youth to be 
thrifty, to cultivate the saving habit, but we hate to see 
the miser, the man who is a victim of sordid saving. 

Of course, we recognize in recent years that great 
corporations, so-called trusts, have ofttimes used their 
wealth and power to crush the laboring man, to destroy 
their competitors. In many ways, while they have in- 
creased production and thereby lessened the cost of 
living, they have also by unfair methods been harmful 
to society in general and to individual happiness in par- 
ticular. But because some large aggregations of wealth 
have abused their power, it does not mean that when 
they are properly regulated they may not serve valu- 
able social purposes and may not contribute in the end 
directly to human happiness. 

The truth of the matter is that from whatever angle 
we study this question of wealth as related to human 
happiness, we are confronted with the fact that wealth 
is always beneficent when it is subservient to character 
and that it becomes a source of mischief only when the 
higher welfare and happiness of the race is made sec- 
ondary to its possession and employment. In other 
words, power as represented by wealth is not in and 
of itself a condition of happiness. It can be used for 
purposes of joy or Boe to serve the ends-of sorrow 
and sadness. cas ye 
-~We must, therefore, ein come to ‘recognize ‘that it 
is not great wealth on the one hand, or abject poverty 
on the other that contributes to happiness; that the joy 
of living is probably most largely experienced by the 
middle classes who are free both from the suffering of 
poverty and the undue and overburdening anxiety of 
great wealth. 

8 


102 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


We must remember that in putting forth effort to 
accumulate wealth, human beings are but following the 
lead of the inherent primary instinct of acquisition.* 
Hoarding is an emotion associated with this instinct, 
and whether man is endowed with one talent or ten, 
he is going to want to accumulate—that is, the average 
person does. Of course, there is the case in the Scrip- 
tures of the person with one talent who became dis- 
couraged, buried his talent in a napkin and received his 
Lord’s rebukes for the failure of his stewardship. On 
the other hand, in considering the parable of the tal- 
ents, we must remember that he who has ten talents 
has a great deal of responsibility, and sometimes we 
do not recognize that when we do not have so many 
talents in comparison with our fellows, we have the 
freedom from the responsibility for the proper employ- 
ment of those talents. 
~ Happiness is not conditioned on the number of tal- 
\. ents possessed, but on how we make use of the little or 
«the much we have, and the man of one talent, if he 
/ sincerely is responsible and discharges his duties re- 
garding that one talent, can be just as happy in its in- 
~ crease as the individual who possesses ten talents. 

Here is the story of a woman who was very unhappy 
as the wife of a very wealthy man; but she lost much 
of her wealth following the death of her husband, and, 
before she was fully aware of this loss of means, had 
given so much of it away, that one day she waked up 
and found that something radical must be done. She had 
known considerable about one of the business enter- 
prises of her husband and while she still had control 


*See Appendix for further discussion of acquisition and hoa, “ing. 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 103 


of it, decided to become its manager. She took hold, 
went to work in an office at 8:30 every morning, and 
at the end of a year, had gained such a knowledge of 
the business and become such an able administrator 
that it was evident she was going to save it from ruin. 
Later when the business became successful and better 
established, she began to take an interest in her em- 
ployees. She has built up a wonderful profit-sharing 
enterprise, a sort of ideal arrangement whereby, while 
she controls the business, all of her older employees 
share in its profits from year to year. This woman is 
very happy and who can say but that she is very useful? 

I know of a wealthy man who says he doesn’t know 
which has given him the greater satisfaction—earning 
his money or distributing it. He makes a real study 
out of where he puts every thousand dollars, and he is 
giving his money away so as to avoid increasing idle- 
ness, multiplying degeneracy, and adding to the suffer- 
ings of future generations. He is really using his 
money so as to help people to help themselves. ‘This, 
I regard as the most important point which wealthy 
people should consider when bestowing their philan- 
thropy. First, try to give money to help people help 
themselves; and second, make sure we are not minis- 
tering to the comfort of the weak and degenerate so 
as merely to enable them to reproduce in larger num- 
bers and thus increase degeneracy and augment social 
delinquency in future generations. 

We must always recognize that when selfishness 
is the motive behind the desire for the possession of 
wealth, just because of the power it represents, sorrow 
will usually be the harvest of its acquirement. Wealth 
is always subject to misuse when it is accumulated with 


104 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


no other motive than that it represents power—power 
to control, oppress, or otherwise dominate our fellows. 


2. PLray—Hvumor 


In the pursuit of happiness, we must not overlook 
the value of reasonable leisure—not necessarily idle- 
ness, but activities of a pleasurable sort separate and 
apart from the daily toil. This, at least to a certain 
extent, is really essential to happiness. 

Weare rapidly becoming too busy. We have too 
little leisure to cultivate love, sympathy, and friendship. 
But in our efforts to seek diversion and avoid monot- 
ony, let us not allow our quest for thrills to become a_ 
mania. If you want to be happy, avoid the “hurry 
habit.” 

Much, very much, depends on the way we go about 
things. We should strive to fill our lives with good 
works—noble resolves, pleasant memories, holy 1 inspi- 
rations, and uplifting achievements. We must enjoy 
happiness because we have done nothing and thought 
nothing which would make us unhappy. 

It is good to have much work to do provided it can 
be done without tension, self-consctousness, and anxiety. 
Let us learn to” approach the next moment—the next 
task—in the consciousness of the joy of the present 
moment—the present task. 

Since I am happy in what I am doing now, what rea- 
son have I to believe I shall not be happy in what I am 
to do next? Since I am able so easily and joyfully to 
do the work of today, why should I not look forward 
to satisfaction and joy in doing the work of tomorrow? 

Being busy—being rushed—is but a phantasm of the 
imagination. If you make it your religion ‘“This one 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 105 


thing I do,” then you can never be busy—hurried— 
rushed. I think it all depends on concentration—devo- 
tion—to present duty. If you do your work well— 
worthy of your best—you will be so preoccupied with 
it and so absorbed in it that there will be no oppor- 
tunity to dread tomorrow or get fussed up over the 
next duty to be done. 

You must learn so to focus your mind on the won- 
derful work you are doing that you are blind to all 
that awaits to be done. Let the moon of the present 
opportunity be the total eclipse of the sun of all that 
awaits to be done. 

We undoubtedly indulge that composite emotion 
called rivalry in both our play and our humor. The 
idea of leisure, the feeling that you have time to do 
things, is a health-promoting, happiness-fostering feel- 
ing. There is something distressful about always be- 
ing in a rush, being in a hurry. 

What is really wrong with a lot of people is that 
they are attempting to do too much, they are trying to 
do too much already and then they want.to add one 
or two, or possibly three more things to the list. There 
are only twenty-four hours in a day, and if we spend 
eight of them in work and téil, eight in sleep, then the 
other eight should be devoted to play, diversion, recrea- 
tion, eating, culture, etc. 

Every human being needs to have what we. call “‘out- 
side_interest,--something they dearly love but some- 
thing that is entirely separate and apart from their 
work. My definition of play is something you would 
rather do than eat, but something that has nothing to 
do with your ambition, your livelihood, or your re 
ligion. 


RY 
106 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


I believe that a certain amount of play is essential 
to happiness, but certainly normal play combined with 
humor, constitutes one of the chief luxuries of a happy 
life. 

We must form the habit of taking time to be healthy 
and happy. Vacations are not only essential to health 
but they are a great promoter of happiness. There is 
a relaxation of the mind as well as the body that at- 
tends our holidays and adds greatly to the joy of living. 
vy While sleep is an antidote for work, it is not for 
( worry. You can work all day, sleep all night and get 

) up rested; but when you “worry all day, you can sleep 
“all night and wake up in the morning tired. - Sleep’ 
rests the physical body and even the physical brain, but 
sleep doesn’t afford a great deal of rest to the mind 
itself. | 

The human mind is best rested by change of work, 
by shifting the gears, as it were, by variety and diver- } 
sity. It is monotony that really tires the mind, while 
variety rests it. ‘ 

It goes without saying that out-of-door play is supe- 
rior to any sort of indoor sport when it comes to pro- “ 
moting health and happiness. ‘There is something 
about sunlight that imparts health. We now know that 
most any food, if it is exposed to sunlight, will cure 
rickets. It is not necessary to take cod-liver oil. 

It has been found that even guinea pigs that have 
been exposed to sunlight can be put back in the cage 
with other guinea pigs having rickets and the animals — 
that haven’t been exposed to sunlight will get well from 
the mysterious thing which is re-radiated from the 
bodies of those animals which have been out in the 
sunshine. 


ys 


4 ' 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS Z1.O.Z.- 


Sunlight is a very essential part of our play and rec- 
reation when it comes to considering these activities 


from a:health standpoint, and in the end, whatever pro-< 
motes our health is going to add to our happiness. —“ 


We cannot discuss play in relation to happiness with- 
out considering the subject of humor. Humor is very 
dificult to define. Like religion it is distinctly human; 
even the higher animals do not have it. You can teach 
a chimpanzee to bake bread and an orangoutang to 
pick cotton, but you can’t train either of them to go to 
prayer meeting or laugh at a joke. Religion and hu- 
‘mor are essentially human traits. 

There is no question but that those. persons who have 
the better sense of humor enjoy life more fully and 
experience a larger share of joy and happiness. And 
play and humor go together. If we can direct our 
play along uplifting and helpful lines, find a wholesome 
fad of some sort, and then have a sense of humor asso- 
ciated with it, we have the best possible sort of combi- 

nation that will help us to relax and rest and recreate. 


THE DANGERS OF MONOTONY 


One time I had a patient, a middle aged man, who 
was quite soured on the world. He complained of in- 
digestion and insomnia. He wasn’t getting along well 
with his business associates and was beginning even to 
have trouble in his family. He had worked hard in 
his earlier years, trying to get ahead in the world, and 
during these years of stress and strain he had gotten 
out of the habit of playing. | | 

The more I studied this man, the more thoroughly 
I was convinced that the one thing at the bottom of all 
his trouble was the fact that he had ceased to play. It 


™ 


108 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


was no small task to get him initiated once more into 
a life of play, but we succeeded and gradually the 
transformation was wrought. One by one the disagree- 
able traits in his character began to disappear. His 
health was restored, things went better at the office; 
everything was lovely at home. A year of normal play 
life had transformed this man physically, mentally and 
spiritually. 

How many times we have cases of elderly men and 
women who are beginning to fail in health, to exhibit 
symptoms of anemia, indigestion, insomnia, etc., and 
who have been doctoring for years—I say, how many 
times we see them cured by taking up golf. Any other 
form of outdoor exercise that would enlist the interest 
and arouse enthusiasm would serve equally well, pro- 
vided it was adapted to the physical strength of the 
individual. 

There is no greater influence that can make for char- 
acter development and protect the morals of our youth 
than vigorous outdoor athletics. I believe, however, 
it is a great mistake for educational institutions to en- 
courage semi-professional athletics in which only com- 
paratively few can participate and which afford exercise 
to the rest of the student body only by way of vocifer- 
ous lung action. Our colleges would be better off if 
there were some way in which the student body could 
more generally participate in outdoor athletics. 

I recall the case of a young married woman who had 
been athletic in her earlier years before marriage, and — 
even some time after, but who, when the first baby 
arrived, settled down to her indoor home life. She 
devoted herself exclusively to the child, neglecting her ~ 
husband, on the one hand, and her health on the other. 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 109 


She began to grow pale and sickly, irritable and ner- 
vous; her husband lost interest in the home, ran around 
nights to the clubs and other places; finally, she fell into 
the doctor’s hands and among other things which were 
found abnormal, was the fact that she had ceased to 
play. She had no relaxation or recreation. Life was 
monotonous. 

She was persuaded to jog herself out of this rut. 
Arrangements were made for help in caring for the 
child, and she went back into her normal life of former 
years. Of course, she got well, and likewise her happi- 
ness was restored. Once more she experienced the joy 
of living, and not the least of her gains was the fact 
that her husband enjoyed being home evenings, and 
took great pleasure in going about with his wife. By 
restoring her health and improving her happiness, she 
likewise saved her home from possible wreckage. 

Just recently I had to deal with the case of a middle 
aged business man, who, as the result of overeating 
and underworking, was getting obese. Not only that, 
he was developing high blood pressure with some kid- 
ney trouble. While he was advised about a diet and 
other health practices, the main thing that brought 
about his cure within a few months, as well as to 
greatly reduce his weight, was his outdoor exercises, 
chief of which was golf. 


How many semi-invalids we rescue by means of play. ~~ 


How many unhappy self-centered people we save by / 
inducing them to go back to play. How many joyless, 
hypochondriacs we reconstruct by enlisting their in- 
terest in outdoor exercise and diverting recreation. 

Then there is the case of a married couple who quit 
playing, settled down before they were thirty-five, to 


110 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


be old folks. Had no recreation except occasional trips 
to the movies at the behest of the children. The wife 
got increasingly nervous; in fact, was threatened with 
a nervous breakdown; the man began to develop high 
blood pressure and insomnia. They had worked hard 
to get ahead in the world, and had looked upon auto- 
mobiles somewhat as a luxury, if not an extravagance, 
but finally on the doctor’s advice, they bought a car 
and then they began to go out camping, picknicking, 
playing. The parents not only got well physically and 
began to enjoy life, but they came to appreciate that 
they had had more of the company of their children, 
and that the youngsters had probably been kept out of 
no small amount of mischief. 

Anything which encourages and promotes the out- 
door life is directly contributory to the sum total of 
human happiness and the joys of living. 

The automobile has certainly done much to help in 
cases of this kind. While reckless speeding may have 
added something to the nervousness and encouraged 
Americanitis on the part of a small minority, in the 
case of the vast majority the automobile has been a 
real source of health and happiness. 

I had a patient, a somewhat despondent maiden lady, 
who seemed to have lost about all interest in life. She 
certainly was getting to be hypochondriac. Her — 
thoughts were all self-centered. Finally I hit upon a — 
plan of having her tell me a funny story every time she 
came for consultation. It went hard at first, but by 
and by she began to enjoy it and before she got 
through she was in the business of collecting stories 
and she really developed a knack for telling them. She 
cheered up. She became happy through humor, was — 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 111 


led to re-establish her social life, and to engage in nue 
merous outdoor activities of play and recreation. 


PLAY AND HUMOR COMBINED 


Humor and play combined constitute a wonderful 
life saver. I don’t know what we would do with some \ 
of our chronic patients without these wonderful re- ~’ 
juvenating influences. 

Some time ago I met a man who had decided to take 
himself seriously. He had just about quit laughing. 
He said that he had come to the conclusion that the 
world was a workshop, not a play-house, and of course, 
he had lost his health as well as his happiness. His 
wife said she hadn’t observed him laugh heartily for 
over three years. Now I made this chap bring a funny 
story to me every time he came for consultation. If 
the story wasn’t funny enough to make me laugh, we 
called the conference off, and we tried it over the next 
day. Now there were a few trifling things wrong with 
him in a physical way, these were corrected, and he was 
re-educated with regard to his mental attitude toward 
life. He went back to play and he began to get well. 
Within three months he could go to a ball game and 
yell his head off with the rest of the fans. 

We simply must not overlook the biologic fact that 
man is a playing animal, but not a working animal. He 
only works because his primary instincts and impulses 
urge him on in the direction of securing certain things, 
and in the midst of modern civilization he finds that 
work is necessary to the realization of his ambitions. 
Man is a playing animal and a fighting animal, but we 
can do much to neutralize the fighting tendency by the 
rivalry, zest and enthusiasm connected with games. 


How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


Another thing we must remember is that the older 
we get the more we need to play. It is not so vitally 
important that youth should play, though they do it of 
/ their own initiative and free will, but play is quite in- 
dispensable to middle age and old age. Our play, of 
course, should be adapted to season, time, individual 
strength, etc. 

In many ways we observe the different reaction of 
the human mind to work and play. For instance, take 
a springtime scene on a vacant lot. Small boys are 
playing baseball. Watch the animated sprinting of the 
lad who has just knocked a home run and observe his 
enthusiasm as he slides in safe at home. Just then his 
father appears across the way with an empty market 
basket and whistles for the boy to go on an errand to 
the grocery store. Now watch the boy’s knee action— 
partial paralysis—he can hardly walk. What is the 
trouble? Simply the difference between work and play. 
He is surcharged with pep and full of energy and 
enthusiasm for play, but he is, comparatively speaking, 
“all in” when it comes to the doing of commonplace 
errands. 

Of course, it is a fine thing if we can transpose the 
enthusiasm of the game, the delights of play, to some 
extent into our daily work. If we can, to some degree, 
make a game out of our commonplace toil and house- 
hold drudgery, we have done much by way of con- 
tributing to both health and happiness. It is an excel- 
lent idea in dealing with children to get them to do 
much of their work as they would play a game. 

As far as possible we should seek to inculcate the 
spirit of play into everything we do. Education could 
be made much more of a game. Our work at school 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 113 


could be reorganized so as to more and more simulate 
play. In these and other ways the quest for knowl- 
edge, as far as possible, should be made more enticing, 
more intriguing. 

The competition and rivalry connected with various 
contests are exhilarating and invigorating, and should 
be introduced wherever possible into the monotony of 
life’s daily grind. There is a childish light-heartedness 
about play that is refreshing to the body, restful to the 
mind, and inspiring to the soul. 

The urge to play is a deep-seated, highly complex 
emotion or some sort of sentiment. At any rate it is 
an impulse that is present in every normal human being 
and must find expression. It must have an outlet if we 
are going to avoid ill health and unhappiness. 

Dignity is depressing. We must get away from the 
critical eye of the world now and then long enough to 
let down, to let go, to let ourselves out, to indulge in 
primitive and gleeful activities such as will give expres- 
sion to our innate emotions and impulses. This sort 
of thing is essential to health and indispensable to 
happiness. 


PLAYING THE GAME 


Life is a game with a glorious prize, 

If we can only play it right. 

It is give and take, build and break, 

And often it ends in a fight; 

But he surely wins who honestly tries 
(Regardless of wealth or fame), 

He can never despair who plays it fair— 
How are you playing the game? 


114 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


Do you wilt and whine, if you fail to win 

In the manner you think your due? 

Do you sneer at the man in case that he can 

And does, do better than you? 

Do you take your rebuffs with a knowing grin? 

Do you laugh tho’ you pull up lame? 

Does your faith hold true when the whole world’s blue? 
How are you playing the game? 


Get into the thick of it—wade in, boys; 
Whatever your cherished goal; 
Brace up your will till your pulses thrill, 
And you dare—to your very soul! 
Do something more than make a noise; 
Let your purpose leap into flame 
As you plunge with a cry, “I shall do or die,” 
Then you will be playing the game. : 
—Anonymous..~ , - ) 
3. EDUCATION—CULTURE at or, 
True education stands not only for knovilize but - 
for culture, and there is associated with the conscious- 
ness of education, a peculiar sort of latent power and * 
commanding poise. Of course, we must remember the 
fact that capacity for education, for intellectual de- 
velopment, is largely a matter of inheritance. Not all 
individuals are capable of receiving the same amount 
of education. There is an inequality in the distribution 
of talent when it comes to educability. Many of our 
youths can easily go through the common grades, — 
though some are so stunted in their mental develop- 
ment that they cannot even go this far. Others are 
able to go through high school, or part of the way 


4 
i 
. 

i 

1. 


; 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS Dates 


through, when they drop out; still other groups can go 

partially or completely through college; while still 

others go on and qualify themselves in some of the 
technical or learned professions. 

We must not forget that books, like art and music, 
are good companions and help-us_to_avoid monotony+- 
they provide variety without the danger of drifting into 
such questionable practices as gambling, gossiping, and 
vice. 

And we must not, in our pursuit of happiness, over- 
look the value of discipline,.even the discipline that 
comes with study, with the effort and application which 
are necessary to secure an education. There is, after 
all, some wisdom in years, and authority is not to be 
altogether disregarded and despised. 

Neither should we shrink from that legitimate self- 
analysis which has for its purpose the discovering in 
_ our own experience of those emotions which are good 
and those which are bad—in their ultimate effect upon 
our happiness and character. 
Books are, after all, the tools.of the mind. They 
are, perhaps, when considered with the knowledge they 
afford, and when we stop to think how knowledge in- 
creases our capacity-for-the- enjoyment-of-happiness—I 
say, when considered from every angle, books come to 
occupy almost the chief place among the luxuries of 
happiness; they are all but indispensable to the fullness 
of joy which we all seek and crave. 

Books make all great minds of the present, as well 
as of the past, our servants. They enable us in each 
new generation to start, as it were, on the shoulders of 
the past generation. From books we get the experi- 
ence of others. The printed page brings us the wisdom 


116 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


of the ages. In fact books enable us to live in all ages 
and on all continents and to enjoy the accumulated 
centuries of information and inspiration as we contact 
with the great minds of all time, at least this is true 
since writing was developed and more especially since 
the art of printing was discovered. In this way we are 
able to communicate with the great minds of today and 
the geniuses of yesterday. 

Books preserve for the intellect and soul of succeed- 
ing generations the thoughts of our great men, just as 

*the phonograph preserves the voices of our great 
musicians. 

But the very multiplicity of books creates a problem. 
There is so much to read that we have to choose wisely, 
lest our time and effort be consumed with the chaff and 
we fail to secure the real grain of the literature which 
is worthy of our perusal. And too, we must choose 
between the various kinds of books and get those best 
suited to help us in any given need. By kinds of books 
I refer to those which deal with facts or science, with 
life or biography, philosophy, those that are purely 
literary, fiction, essays on idealism, ete. 

_ In this day of lauded realism it is well sometimes to 
remember that while realism may be true, it is not 
always good and beautiful, and so we are beholden to 
our fellows who write poetry and sing songs, for these 
/ all have a cultural and inspirational value which makes 
_y~them serviceable in the cause of happiness promotion. 
if Education, more especially culture, certainly does 
_ serve the purpose of increasing one’s capacity for the 
‘enjoyment of happiness, if it does not over-develop 
/one’s conceit, if it does not serve to make one over- 
/ aristocratic and snobbish so as to shut him out from 


2 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 1b ig 


sympathetic association with his fellows. If, on the 
other hand, it serves to discipline and train the mind 
and broaden the intellect, then education certainly does 

\. add zest to living and contributes to increased joy in 
our workaday existence. 

While it is true that knowledge or culture is not 
really essential to happiness, while it is true that we see 
many sincere but ignorant souls who are supremely 
happy, at least they are happy to the full extent of their 
capacity for enjoying the simple pleasures of living; 
nevertheless, increase of knowledge, broadening of the 
intellect, unfailingly accentuates the joy of living and 
enormously expands our happiness capacity. 

Increase of knowledge tremendously multiplies our 
ability to get satisfaction out of work and play. It 
enormously enhances the value and enjoyment of travel 
and adventure and all the higher activities of life. 

And when we speak of education, we do not refer 
merely to a sojourn in some school or college; we refer 
to that training, discipline, and accumulation of knowl- 
edge which attends one’s daily life. We refer to cul- 
ture, which can be had by systematic and leisurely 
reading and not merely by those continuous courses of 
study which are associated in our minds with attendance 
at a university. 

We must remember that we have within the books 
at our disposal the knowledge of the world. There is 
very little which the teacher in the college can give his 
students but what is already to be found in the text- 
books. The presence of the teacher, true, is an inspira- 
tion to learning. There is a touch of culture in asso- 
ciating with the noble minds of great teachers, but if 


the student has the application and the real hunger and 
9 


yp 


118 How ou CAN KEEP HAPPY 


thirst for knowiedge, much, very much, of a college 
education can be secured during one’s spare moments, 
during one’s leisure. 

The undisciplined minds of youth may require regu- 
lation, classes, recitations, and the presence of a teacher 
to supervise their intellectual training; but the adult 
mind, if it enters into this sort of thing with enthusiasm, 


can secure a liberal education out of any public library. © 


EXPERIENCE AS A TEACHER 


And we must not forget, in this connection, what a 
wonderful educator real experience is. The practical 
affairs of daily life all possess tremendous cultural pos- 
sibilities. Life itself, if we keep our eyes open, to 
observe, to profit from experience, to learn the differ- 
ence between essentials and non-essentials, to discern 
those things which inspire and uplift us in contrast with 
those that depress and degrade us—well, this experi- 
ence of living, if one is wide awake and observant, is 
the greatest education after all, and if rightly inter- 
preted, if we only can learn how to react to the prob- 
lems of life, then we can reap real happiness as the 
harvest of the seed sowing of our daily doings. 

So many times we help our unhappy, self-centered, 
and sorrowful patients not only by putting them to 
work and play, but by sending them, as it were, to 
school, by establishing systematic courses of reading, 
by having them take up special courses of study, or 
special courses of muscle training, artcraft, etc., things 
which occupy both the hand and the mind. 

Not long ago I had a nervous patient, a middle aged 
woman who had suffered from repeated nervous break- 
downs and who was exceedingly unhappy and miser- 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 119 


able. We persuaded her to take a six months’ course 
‘1 artcraft. She became so enthusiastic about it, she 
was so helped by this training, that she took it up as a 
career and has become a teacher, having already spent 
several years in various institutions, hospitals among 
others, teaching artcraft to other nervous patients, and 
it certainly has been this woman’s salvation. She be- 
came interested in doing something worth while witn 
both her mind and her hands. 

At the present time I have a young man who is a 
victim of a rather serious form of nervous trouble, 
and while we did everything possible to help him by 
way of work and play, his evenings proved his undoing, 
until we put him to work on two or three systematic 
courses of study in addition to two evenings in a 
gymnasium. His condition is greatly improved since 
he began to devote himself to this regular reading, to 
this systematic study. 

We often help our self-centered hypochondriacs by 
interesting them in nature study, taking up in earnest 
the study of bees or butterflies, ants or birds; others 
find benefit in the study of geology and astronomy. The 
whole biologic and natural science group is helpful and 
diverting to the mind. It affords real knowledge and 
culture of the highest sort. It is curative in the treat- 
ment of nervous disorders and is a positive contributor 
to the joy of living. 

We meet with many persons whose idleness and in- 
dolence have been their nervous undoing. They are 
exceedingly miserable, very unhappy, and are never 
going to get possession of their own minds, they never 
will be able to acquire self-control until their minds go 
through a certain amount of real discipline and it is in 


120 How You CAN KEEP Happy ~ 


this connection that systematic study, supervised read- 
ing, proves to be of such great help. 

Thousands of people are suffering from ennui. They 
are leading lonely lives and some of them are even sick 
and tired of living, yet a nearby library is full of books, 
crowded with the thoughts of great men and women, 
overflowing with inspiration, courage, and hope, not to 
mention the lighter variety of literature with its ability — 
to divert, entertain, and relax the mind. 

Of course, books like plays, should be selected with 
a view to fitness. ‘Those books which are most appro- 
priate are the ones to be utilized. Books are thus able 
to lend themselves to diverting the mind from unde- 
sirable channels into those that will be helpful and 
uplifting. It is a great mistake to discipline the mind 
when young, and then during middle age to allow it to 
drift, to engage in no systematic reading, for then when 
old age creeps upon us, we find our mind resents doing 
any real work and objects to our effort to make it 
engage in real study. 

The mind should be kept limbered up, as it were, - 
throughout life, ready to enjoy the declining years with 
our books, and if we do not neglect it for long periods 
of time, it can be kept nimble and in good trim so that 
we can enjoy in our old age not only light and diverting 
reading, but systematic study and real mental applica- 
tion. 

If you are unhappy 0 not overlook the help that 


can be afforded by 500s, by education and culture. 
Literature will exp»sc the horizon of the mind 
broaden the vision the soul, and tremendously 


deepen one’s capac'y ‘or happiness and the higher 
joys of living. } 


. Liuxurivs &F HAPPINESS 12h 


as —MusIic 


ile art and music » +7 not be entirely essential to 


bappitiess, hey certainly deserve a prominent place ¢ 
. . . \ 

ymome\ the luxuries + ous living. Sometimes the ~ 

miovmmcat of the fine : s such as to entitle them to 


mentiog# in connection v play and recreation, but I 
have @houcht it best to consider them separate and 
fiom our play life as that term is ordinarily 
told, “hough we most admit that they constitute 
a viring form of diversion to a 


~ 


e . heal : 7 a 


Phe badic emotien whic leads to the pursuit of art 
and he enjoyment of th: beautiful is probably the 
niration,” aad there can be little doubt 
but that the ciuusion or a love for the beautiful is one 
of dye thoes bs ppening in the present generation which 
i enormously enlareine the capacity for happiness and 
enjoyment on tie par chousands of people. After 

i the art galleries of the world are a real contribu- 


Shaky 
‘ g 

TiO 3 nan g 
we as os ah 


fd the pursuit of happiness, let us ever be on the 
lookout fer the beatin Let us seek the harmonious, 
Wehungety for the sweet, and withal so broaden our 
"horizon and augment our tolerance that while we shun 
the base and_avoid the vuly, we will not over-react in 
our»wn minds to the ~ or women who may chance 
associated in «© 2 way with those inartistic 
we are trying to 2 void. 
happiness is 1.» along that pathway of living 
nelps us to culoyats a love for the beautiful, an 


'-ussion of emotions, 


ay 3 
a 
Fes 


\ 
122 How You CAN Keep Happy | 


appetite for the natural, and which serves more fonds 
more to develop those tastes that lead us away from 
those things and experiences that are productiv fe of 
regret and sorrow. 
(The experience of happiness is really the enjo} fl 
| of an art. It is something, after all, that is abovje rules © 
“and regulations... If we would master the art of: living 
with ourselves as we are and the world as itis, we 
must learn how gracefully to accept the limits which are 
imposed upon us on the one hand by the laws o/f human 
heredity, and on the other hand, by the environment 
of modern civilization. We must be px is in our 
desires; learn how to curb the appetite, and control our 
desire for possession. ij 
We should recognize that there are comapensations 
in life; that sometimes when we suffer loss, we are 
compensated in turn by something else which the diffi- 
culty of our position unwittingly bestows upon us; and 
we should practice contentment, while perhaps most 
important in the art of happiness is the effort on our 
part to make others happy, to seek happiness for 
others, not so much for ourselves. : 
The fine arts, the cultivation of which can dgceihuem 
SO largely to the enjoyment of that higher ha spiness | 
which is attainable by the better type of human. mind, 
embrace landscape gardening, architecture, sculpture, 
painting, literature, and music. Now, while it requires 
the higher type of mind to appreciate architecture, 
sculpture, and painting, and even literature, so as to’get 
joy out of them, we must ‘recognize that the mog’s sim- 
ple type of human mind can find pleasure i in He 
The most ignorant and uncultured enjoy rhythm and 
“ syncopation. Our most primitive fellows sing; they get 


is r 
\ oak: 
Le Oi 7] 


a 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 123 


joy and happiness out of folk music and no matter how 
primitive and uncultured the race, there is always music 


of some sort associated with dancing, and dancing is a 


well-nigh universal means whereby primitive peoples, 
as well as the more civilized races, seek joy and happi- 
ness. 

Art and music minister to our higher feelings. They 
are an inspiration to the soul; their appeal is not merely 
to the intellect, and it seems that music comes well-nigh 
being the universal language of the human species. 

If we are justified in using public funds raised by 
general taxation for any means of culture, if we are 
justified in using such funds for general education, it 


‘would seem that we would be warranted in employing 


tax funds to provide public music, to endow bands and 
orchestras, to provide for the people as a whole these 
things which make such a universal appeal to the soul 
as well as to the mind. 

Public art institutes are a means of promoting human 
happiness, of exalting our ideas of the beautiful, and 
satisfying our hunger for contact with those things 
which are splendid and ideal. In our larger cities, 
every effort should be made to get the common people 
regularly to visit the art institutes that their eye may 
be trained more and more to appreciate beauty and 
harmony, and thus, in the end their capacity for experi- 
encing happiness in other spheres of life will be greatly 
augmented. 

The drama serves its purpose in the satisfaction of 
the appeal it makes to our great motives and emotions, 
as well as affording gratification for many of the higher 
sentiments. 

It seems that the human race in its development goes 


124 How You CAN KEEP HAppy 


through various cycles. There is no question but that 
in \times past we had the age of art; the sculpture of 
Greece, and the painting of Italy are sufficient testi- 
mony to this fact. Today we seem to be living in a 
more material century, an era of invention, material- 
istic development, and scientific expansion, and it is at 
such a time as this, when things material are exalted 
before the eye of the individual and so worshipped by 
public opinion—I say, it is during such a materialistic 
epoch that we should make a special effort to exalt the 
beautiful, that we should strive not only to live, but to 
live beautifully. 

There is no doubt but that art is progressing. Cities 
are becoming more beautiful. Architecture is improv- 
ing, and there is a development of the fine arts that, in 
the end, is going to accentuate the value of moral char- 
acter; and every possible step we can take which is able 
to add to our love of the beautiful is going to increase 
our happiness, to multiply the joys of living. 

Appreciation of the beautiful is an ennobling experi- 
ence. If we can cultivate our love for harmony and 
those higher emotions and sentiments associated with 
the fine arts, we shall definitely uplift ourselves and our 
associates, and everything that is ennobling and uplift- 
ing is conducive to happiness. 

I should tell about an unhappy, highly neurotic, 
hysterical woman who had spent most of five years 
going from one doctor to another, who dropped out of 
her college course in the sophomore year, had sort of 
a nervous blow-up or breakdown, couldn’t get along 
with her folks at home, failed in everything she under- 
took, even broke off an engagement to a splendid fellow 
two months before they were to be married. 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 125 


A careful analysis of her emotional life and a study 
of her talents disclosed but one thing that she might 
make a success at in life, and that was her artistic in- 
stinct. She did know how to design a dress, how to 
decorate a room. An older brother was induced to 
finance her for a year or two while she sought to per- 
fect herself in this art and to prepare herself to become 
a professional interior decorator. For once in her life 
she entered into a course of study with enthusiasm. 
She threw her whole soul into her efforts, and to make 
a long story short, she made good, not only with the 
course of study, but has made both an artistic and 
commercial success of her career, which she has been 
practicing with both joy and satisfaction now for over 
five years. 


CREATIVE SATISFACTION 


We all know that artists take great satisfaction in 
their work, whether they be landscape gardeners, 
writers, painters, or musicians. This sort of thing satis- 
fies that creative instinct which is such a part of the 
imaginary life of certain types of individuals. The 
desire to construct, to create, whether it is the bird 
building its nest, or the beaver its dam, is also inherent 
in the human species, and there is indescribable satis- 
faction, supreme joy, connected with its normal grati- 
fication. 

If you have talent along some of these lines, even 
though you may not follow art or music as a profes- 
sion, indulge it, enjoy it, make a hobby or fad of it. 
Let your emotions find self-expression along these lines 
and it will prove beneficial to your health as well as 
adding to your happiness. 


126 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


A few years ago, I had a couple on my hands whose 
children had grown up. They didn’t know what to do 
with themselves. The oldest son had taken over his 
father’s business; the father had foolishly thought he 
would retire, not knowing how unhappy he would be 
with nothing to do. The mother had never gone in 
for club life. She had devoted herself to her home and 
children. They found the home too large and though 
they had abundant wealth, they were very unhappy. 
They thought of moving out in the country, selling 
their large home, and this suggestion gave me the idea 
of setting them to work planning and designing a new 
home, to get them interested in studying landscape 
gardening, in laying out their grounds. 

They spent three years in planning their new home, 
a little bungalow, but a thing of uniqueness and beauty, 
and they have been over five years now in laying out 
their grounds, making a veritable garden of Eden out 
of their estate, and all this has served them well from 
the standpoint of both health and happiness. Their 
friends enjoy coming to see them now. Their children 
come and bring with them the grandchildren, and I 
don’t know that I ever have been in a home that 
radiated more joy and where there was more happiness — 
and more satisfaction. 

This couple derive great pleasure from working 
about the grounds which they have laid out, and mind 
you, they are well laid out, they have become experts 
in this business. They have had something to do and 
thus they have been able to keep well and happy. 

There is happiness in doing things, building things, 
making things. The small boy is happy when he is 
digging a cave or building a shanty. Thousands of 


Luxuries OF HApPINEss,“-~ {127 j 


people would greatly enjoy working with tools, build- 
ing a piece of furniture for the house. We enjoy even 
the artistic side of a common backyard garden. We 
get satisfaction out of laying it out in parts and parcels, 
making the artistic borders, digging the rows, etc. 
There is art even in agriculture; there is a chance to 
enhance the beauty of everything we do and there is 
satisfaction and joy in it, too. 

I know of a woman who is not only unhappy, but 
has been a failure in everything she has tried. She 
started out as a stenographer, failed, and gave that up. 
Worked as a clerk. Tried a nursemaid’s work and 
didn’t like that; the youngsters got on her nerves. 
Finally she drifted into a millinery and dressmaking 
establishment, and in less than five years owned the 
place. She is a famous designer now. She is no longer 
a round peg in a square hole, and she beams with joy 
as she listens to the compliments which her clientele so 
freely bestow upon her. 

What a pity it is that some of us live half or two- 
thirds of our lives before we find our niche, before we 
are able to get into our stride, before we discover the 
thing we can do well and do with joy and satisfaction. 


5. TRAVEL—ADVENTURE 


_ Travel may not te essential to happiness, but it is a 
wonderful luxury. Adventure and exploration are in- | 
\stinctive in the human ‘species, and there is no question // 
but that they add to the zest-ef-tiving, that they mul-” 
tiply the joys of existence as do no other human activi- 
ties. There is exhilaration i in change. There is tonic 


in variety. There is inspiration in~discovery: ~The 
primary and inherent emotion. of curiosity that i iS asso- 


128 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


ciated with the instinct of wonder is satisfied to the 
fullest extent in travel and adventure. 

True, we can cultivate the habit of closely scrutiniz- 
ing the snowflake, the grass blade, and the clod of dirt; 
all these are worthy of our inspection and exploration. 
We can exercise our emotions of curiosity on the 
grosser phenomena of Nature in wind, cloud, and 
storm; but man likes to go forth in quest of new worlds 
to conquer. There is zest in the risk and danger 
attendant upon exploration. 

Man is a child of Nature;he is a part of Nature, 
and he likes to get out and draw close to her heart. 
The whole idea of vacations and holidays is but a 
recognition of man’s need of close communion with 
Nature. 

We must, in all our efforts to subdue and control our 
emotions, avoid shackling our inherent impulses to such 
a degree that it interferes with either health or happi- 
ness. As far as possible, we want to save the freshness 
and preserve the spontaneity of our innate and bar- 
barous impulses, while we make them over and so 
control and refashion them as to make them fit into the 
conventional demands of modern civilization. Our 
habit of annual vacations is a real help in this direction, 
in that it enables us to spend our holidays in the midst 
of new, suggestive, and liberating surroundings. 

Cities are the prison-house of thetfree spirit of man- 
kind, and on every possible occasion we should seek to 
escape their blighting and debilitating influence. 

- And as we come in contact with Nature, we must 
remember that her grandeur and beauty are only half 
in the picture we see—the other half is in the cultured 
taste and appreciative intellects of those who behold 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 129 


with wonder and admiration the constantly changing 
features of natural phenomena. There is little to be 
gained from travel unless you have cultivated eyes that 
can see the “sermons in stones, books in running brooks 
and truth in everything.” 

Nature study is available to all alike, to poet and 
peasant. Nature is all about us. We are encompassed 
by her many moods and varied habits. To that human 
being who has developed his powers of observation 
there need never be a lonely moment. The house in 
which man lives is so beautiful, so wonderfully’ and 
exquisitely furnished and appointed that it requires the 
whole of a lifetime to get an introduction to the habits 
and behavior of Dame Nature. 

The study of Nature has its chief value in that it 
contributes to variety of interest and activity. Even in 
old age, there is so much to intrigue the mind and 
occupy the attention of the most versatile and active of 
human minds. 

There is health value, there is general happiness in 
this habit of going back to the country periodically, 
the vacation instinct. It is good for the children to dig 
in the earth. You know we come from the earth and 
we are going back to it, and there is nothing so health- 
ful as a little “clean dirt.” 

It is a source of joy to get out of the well-kept city 
home with its polished floors and spotless linens, to 
take off our well-creased trousers and white linen col- 
lars and don overalls, to tramp through the forest, dig 
in the ground, and literally play with Nature, to bask 
in her smile and enjoy her sympathetic embrace and 
sublime communion; there is something thrilling and 
inspiring about this intimate contact. 


130 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


Civilization is all too recent to make us contented 
for any length of time with the artificial surroundings 
of a great city. Nature is the work of God; it is the 
art of a creative mind. The Supreme Being is the soul 
and spirit of Nature, and we can’t help but feel it when 
we expose ourselves directly and open-heartedly to her 
touch. 

Nature is all powerful and all glorious (even if not 
always all wise), and she is ever our partner in the 
realization of life’s ambitions. Nature was made for 
man and man finds that he cannot thrive and prosper 
without her. Nature is the raw material of the human 
mind and soul. Man is the creator, the designer, and 
builder, the conqueror of this vast domain of natural 
forces and resources. 

If the tiny flake, and the gigantic star have a mission 
in the universe, man surely has, and increased happiness 
ever attends his realization of this Divine mission, his 
recognition that he is a part of this great and mar- 
velous scheme of things we call Nature; that he is a 
member of that vast and infinite family of things and 
beings which is watched over by the Master Builder 
and Administrator. 


Of course, Nature appeals to different minds in 


different ways. The scientist analyzes, classifies, 
searches for facts, and seeks for generalizations of 
conduct which he calls laws. The artist is inspired, he 
wants to copy, to re-enact. The poet likewise hears the 
melody of the realms and in his soul it re-echoes in 
verse and song. Still others view Nature and are filled 
with awe, admiration, and reverence; they would medi- 
tate and even worship. To the agriculturist, the hus- 
bandman, Nature appears as a phenomenon to be 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 131 


cu. ted, subdued, trained, the thing from which we 
can, ,our livelihood on the one hand, and the raw 
eity for making countless things of beauty and 
utility on the other hand. To the traveler she is a 
vast, ever-unfolding panorama of beauty and grandeur, 
a thing to thrill, intrigue, and entertain. 

So, no matter from what standpoint we view Nature 
in her various moods, there awaits us culture and edu- 
cation, joy and happiness. Old Mother Nature is 
kindly disposed toward her children if they rightly 
understand her, and if they know how to interpret her 
moods and to understand her manifold phenomena. 

While some timid souls prefer to remain at home 
and are satisfied to spend a lifetime within gun-shot of 
the humble domicile in which they were born, the vast 
majority of human beings enjoy travel. They like to 
visit new scenes, to meet strange peoples, to see the 
races and nations they have read about and heard 
about; and aside from the way travel satisfies the 
craving for adventure and exploration, it proves to be 
of great value as an educator. I think most everyone 
would agree that a year spent going around the world, 
under proper tutelage, on the part of any young man 
or woman, would be worth more than a year in any 
school or college. Still further there is an element of 
play, the real holiday spirit gets into our hearts as we 
indulge in these wandering pilgrimages. 


BROADENING INFLUENCES 


I have had many a man tell me that his experience 
in the Navy, as he went about the world when young 
and saw strange peoples—I say, I have had many tell 
me that the experience was highly beneficial, that it 


1322 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


broadened their minds, augmented their toler: Ad 
in many ways prepared them for better get 4 sng 
with their fellows and for increased success’ : « the 
struggles of after-life. 

The automobile has done much to encourage travel 
within the confines of our own country, and has con- 
tributed to the education and culture of our minds, as 
well as proving itself a valuable help in the direction 
of promoting health and increasing happiness. I re- 
member so well the case of a married couple, where 
the wife was in poor physical health and the husband 
was far from being a happy and contented soul. They 
had a little money saved up and we persuaded them to 
spend the summer driving to California and back. 
They returned reporting that they had had a wonder- 
ful time. The wife regained her health; the husband 
got back into the spirit of play—his whole disposition 
seemed to be changed. ‘This was several years ago and 
every summer now, he tries to get away at least three 
weeks, and they repeat the experience of this California 
trip on a small scale, driving to some other part of the 
country, camping out most of the time, getting close 
to Nature, meeting up and mingling with their fellow 
motor gypsies, and withal, having what they call ‘a 
grand and glorious time.” 

It is not necessary to take a trip around the world or . 
go to Europe in order to enjoy the benefits and experi- 
ence the exhilaration of travel. ‘There is plenty to be 
seen and enough places to go, on the North American 
Continent, to keep one busy a lifetime. Why should 
we pine away because we are denied the privilege of 
viewing the sights of Europe when we live within 
sound of Niagara Falls and have been too indifferent 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 133 


to go over and enjoy its grandeur? It is all too true 
that familiarity often breeds contempt. 

There is some consistency in the slogan ‘See Amer- 
ica First” though it would seem that the charms of that 
which is remote and distant, the historic attractions of 
the old world, make a far greater appeal to some 
individuals than do the natural wonders and scenic 
beauties of our own land. 

We are able to help many of our semi-sick patients 
by sending them on a trip around the world. We are 
able to improve the health of many chronic ailers by 
getting them away from home, by starting them on a 
trip through this country; but one thing should be said 
in this connection—travel and prolonged vacations 
afford little help for those who are suffering from 
chronic worry, fears, dreads, and obsessions. These 
self-centered, neurotic individuals, when they start out 
on a trip, take right along with them the thing that is 
causing all the trouble, and that is their own state of 
mind. 

Long since, I abandoned the practice of prescribing 
trips to California, Bermuda, Canada, and the Sand- 
wich Islands for these nervous sufferers. I put them 
to bed and rest them up for a few weeks or have them 
take an ordinary vacation, and then I set them to work. 
It is mental re-education they need more than travel. 
They had better save their money and travel later on 
when they have mastered their nerves and can enjoy 
the trip. 

I think it is a great pity that more men and women 
of means and leisure do not travel more extensively. 
I could fill this book with the stories of well-to-do 
patients who have grown all but weary of life, time 


134 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


hung heavy on their hands, and how they have been 
rejuvenated and made over by travel. When we think 
how ardently many of our citizens in moderate cir- 
cumstances would enjoy travel, it seems a pity that 
those who have the time and money should not avail 
themselves of both the culture and satisfaction to be 
derived from visiting foreign lands. 

Those who have traveled are able to derive a never- 
ending satisfaction from relating their experiences to 
the home folks, from comparing notes with fellow 
travelers they meet from time to time, talking over 
places they have visited and things they have seen. 
Travel provides one with such an interesting store of 
memories that are pleasant to recall and profitable to 
relate; it is indeed a liberal education quite separate 
and apart from the joy experienced at the time, and the 
satisfaction afforded as we subsequently recount our 
memories of foreign lands and strange peoples. 

So well I remember the case of a maiden lady who 
was rather reticent—certainly not very happy, and 
while not suffering from any particular disease, was far 
from enjoying the best of health. She was inveigled 
into joining a party of friends who were starting on a 
trip around the world. She was away from home for 
a year, and she came back a changed woman. Some- 
thing had happened to her during this year of trave 
and she began to take an interest in social affairs, 
became an active club woman, and in a couple of years 
was happily married. She is now a happy and useful 
woman, a good citizen, a devoted wife, a charming 
mother, and her friends all feel that it was this year 
of travel that broke her shell, as it were, and enabled 
her to come forth and begin her real life.’ 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 135 


And I venture to repeat that I have seen scores of 
men and women re-made, literally saved from a life of 
ennui and unhappiness, by travel—by this experience 
of getting away from home and their old friends, and 
meeting new people and viewing new scenes. 

If you cannot travel on a large scale, if you cannot 
enjoy the adventure of encircling the globe, spend your 
vacation away from home, go as far as your time and 
means will permit, or get up a party, form a club of 
your friends, buy a second hand automobile, and take 
to the woods. Wherever and whenever the opportunity 
affords, get away from your old surroundings and give 
your mind a chance to absorb new thoughts amidst new 
surroundings and strange people. In travel there is 
adventure, education, health, exhilaration, and happi- 
ness. 


6. Home—AND CHILDREN 


While some persons seem to be fairly happy without 

a home of their own—without married life and chil- 
dren of their own, while so-called single blessedness is 

\ consistent with human happiness; nevertheless, the vast 
_majority_of men and women find their chief joy and 


ae 


happiness in their honies—and their children. ~ 


A real home supplies pleasant and~agreeable sur- 


. 1 ae NT e . noun ta eemes 
roundings for our leisure. The parental instinct accom- 


panied by its emotion of tenderness can be fully exer- 
cised only in the home—vwe can only fully enjoy this 
impulse to protect the weak and minister to the helpless 
when we have our own children to love and care for. 
Again, there is no way satisfactorily and acceptably to 
satisfy our innate sex longings_and_urges_outside_of 
normal married life. Whatever the ups and downs of 


136 How You Cé™ KEEP HAppy 


domestic life, the average »»1n or woman is going to 
find the largest joy and the highest happiness in 
married life. 

The greatest danger of home life is the dream of 
monotony. Monotony, unless it is activated by some 
tremendous sentiment or employed in pursuit of some 
powerful ideal—is subversive of both health and happi- 
ness, and it is to dodge this sort of domestic and social 
monotony that we indulge in the ceaseless and ofttimes 
senseless rounds of parties, receptions, teas, and what 
not, in an effort to escape the boredom of isolation, 
the stagnation of monotony. 

In our domestic life, yes, even in the social and com- 
mercial contact with our fellows, let us ever seek to 
discover new traits and hidden charms in_the life and 
character of our companions and associates. There is 
refreshing adventure-and the fascination of discovery 
in this sort of exploration and scrutiny into the deeper 
lives of one’s fellows. 

Comparatively speaking there is sometimes even joy 
in a fruitful sorrow compared to the mock joy and 
pseudo-happiness of a barren life. The sorrow of a 
mother who has lost a son has, after all, more of joy 
and satisfaction than the selfish loneliness of the woman 
who has refused to bear a son. 

But what of unhappy marriages? Are they not a 
source of much sorrow? Indeed. And many of them 
are unhappy for no other reason than that the con- 
tracting parties failed to use common sense and exer- 
cise ordinary judgment. What can we expect if we 
marry half lunatics or full neurasthenics? We.should 
enter marriage with our eyes open and our senses alert, 
and in this connection, is it too much to maintain that 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS ray 


every young man should be taught a self-sustaining 
trade, or educated in some self-supporting profession, 
and that every young woman should be taught the 
rudiments of home-making, the arts of housekeeping 
and the science of food preparation? 

Marriage is a real business—a serious and respon- 
sible undertaking. We must give thought and study to 
making a success of founding a home and raising a 
family. We can’t hope for the best results in domestic 
life if we indulge in mere wishing—we must do some 
genuine willing—we need decision and will power. 
Ella Wheeler Wilcox expressed this thought most feel- 
ingly when she said:* 


“Do you wish the world were better? 
Let me tell you what to do. 
_. Set a watch upon your actions, 
Keep them always straight and true. 
Rid your mind of selfish motives, 
Let your thoughts be clean and high. 
You can make a little Eden 
Of the sphere you occupy.” 


The home as we understand and enjoy it today is 
really the gift of Christian civilization to the human 
species. In the public library you will find histories 
dealing with politics, science, and invention, but not 
much by way of history when it comes to the home. 
The home is indeed a recent institution, so recent that 
in the French language there is no word to express the 
idea. - And we must remember that while we have 
wonderfully improved the material dwelling place for 


*From “Poems of Power,” W. B. Conkey Co., Chicago. 


138 How You CAN KEEP HAppy 


modern homes—I say, we must remember that the 
“house is not the home; the home is made by the people 
who live therein, by the affection which is found therein, 
_ and the children who are growing up around the family 
' hearth. It is the love and respect that exist between 
the parents and the play and glee of the children that 
really make the home. : 

What a mistake for parents to try to be such good 
, housekeepers, so orderly in their material homemaking 
*\that they make home an unwelcome place for the play 
of the children and thus, as it were, drive them away 
to the street or the neighbors for their good times. 

Home and civilization are synonymous. The home 
life is the ideal, the goal of all normal-minded youth, 
and it will ever be true that a joyous home life is the 
crowning luxury of a happy existence. The poor labor- 
ing man of today has a more palatial domicile than the 
rich man of a thousand years ago. The wage earner 
of today is better housed than the wise men of Athens. 

In these olden times all efforts were concentrated 
upon beautifying and enhancing the appearance of the 
buildings associated with public life. Their architects 
and artisans toiled to adorn their public buildings, but 
it is only in recent centuries that man has directed his 
attention to beautifying and embellishing his own 
domicile. In former centuries every effort was be- 
stowed upon the castles of the rich, the palaces of 
kings, and the cathedrals of bishops. Very little wealth 
and effort were expended upon the individual homes of 
the common people. 

Let us stop to think that in olden times the homes of 
the people afforded few, if any, luxuries. Everything 
that makes life pleasant and worth while as found in 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 139 


the modern home, was absent from the dwellings of 
the ancients. In these olden days the wife was a com- 
mon drudge and the children were all but slaves. The 
home, whether regarded from a material, intellectual, 
or spiritual standpoint, has been tremendously im- 
proved in the past few hundred years. 


HOME AND CIVILIZATION 


The home has come to be the chief American institu- 
tion, the unit of our modern civilization. In fact most 
discoveries, inventions, and. improvements in living 
have been sought out for the purpose of adding to 
home comforts, for no other reason than to make some 
pleasant place for our leisure moments and a more 
comfortable shelter under which to raise and train our 
children. 

To improve home conditions, modern man has de- 
voted his ambition, his industry, and ingenuity, and in 
return this improvement has done much to exalt human 
ideals, to lure man ever upward and onward. 

Improvement in modern home life has contributed 
to the production of a new brand of poetry, a higher 
and more idealistic literature; in fact, it has given 
origin to a new culture. This improvement has caused 
childhood to become a new and pleasant memory to 
recent generations, an experience we like to recall and 
that we never tire of rehearsing. 

If we should take home out of our modern literature 
we would have little of inspiration left, and if we 
should take it out of our modern life, we would take 
the soul and beauty out of living. 

The home is the great conservator of morals, the 
guardian of character. It isthe custodian of the purity 


140 How You CAN KEEP HAPpy 


of our youth. The vision of a home in the future is 
the ever-present inspiration of high-minded young 
people; it comforts the toiler, promising to reward 
those who struggle in adversity that they may create 
for themselves this haven of human happiness. 

Home is the mother of contentment; the goal of 
love; the harbor of happiness, which is sought by all 
toiling and struggling human beings who are possessed 
of normal minds and average ambitions. 

The ideal home is the true altar of religion, the 
shrine of true philosophy. In olden times, when hearts 
were hard and life was drab, the pagans conceived of 
God much in the terms of their own life and experience. 
When the monarchistic idea of government became 
spread out over the world, God became a king in 
human estimate; but throughout the Christian cen- 
turies, since the establishment of the home as the unit 
of civilization, God has become a father, so that in our 
petitions we address Him as ‘‘Our Father who art in 
Heaven,” and allude to His solicitous care of His off- 
spring in figures of speech ‘‘As a father pitieth his 
children,”’ etc. 

If love hovers over our homes six days in the week, 


its beneficent influence makes it quite impossible for 


those who live in those homes to conceive of God on 
our rest day, as any other than a father of love having 
for His children only thoughts of kindness, forebear- 
ance, patience, and mercy. 

Home, it is true, has its rivals, its enemies. There 
is jealousy, unfaithfulness, and divorce. Home has its 
competitors, such as society, clubs and other forms of 
artificial life and superficial living. Altogether too 
many men and women are today forsaking the home 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 141 


for the club. They meet in the clubs, transact their 
business in the clubs, and sometimes, though men and 
women know each other more or less intimately for 
years, they never have met around their own fresides. 
Home is becoming altogether too much of a place in 
which merely to sleep and eat—sometimes. 

Home, too, sometimes becomes only a place where 
selfish people live. How many times we see the wealthy 
build high walls around their beautiful gardens as if 
any harm would come from allowing the common 
people who pass by that way to enjoy the perfume of 
their flowers and to feast their eyes upon the beauty 
of the landscape. 

Hospitality is all but dead in some homes, and 
friendship, old-fashioned happy associations, are re- 
placed by society with its round of teas and elaborate 
entertainments. 

Men and women dwell in loneliness in palaces that 
might be opened up to the joy of themselves and their 
neighbors. Home is not going to contribute so much 
to human happiness if we have to enjoy it, as it were, 
in solitary confinement. We must not overlook the 
fact that man is a social creature and that he gets along 
best when he mingles freely with his fellows. 

There is need today for a return to the more simple 
life of the home. We need more of that fireside affec- 
tion and good cheer of the family circle. Home should 
be the most attractive place on earth for every member 
of the family. Something is wrong when father for- 
sakes it for the club, mother for society, and the chil- 
dren desert the family hearth for the fun and frolic of 
the passing jazz and entertainment of the hour. 

The obligation of home making rests lightly upon 


142 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


many modern men and women, particularly upon the 
shoulders of some of our bachelors. ‘They seem to 
overlook the fact that man is a trustee for the sacred 
stream of life and that when he shuns the task of home 
building, that when he shirks reproduction, that he is, 
as it were, affronting his entire line of noble ancestors 
who toiled and struggled that they might pass on this 
living heritage from generation to generation. 

When we refuse to build a home and plant life 
therein, provided we are worthy to reproduce our kind, 
then we are enacting the ignoble role of biologic 
slackers. 


DANGERS TO THE HOME 


Perhaps the greatest enemy of the modern home is 
divorce. This is not the place to argue the question as 


“. to whether divorce should be made easier or more 


’ difficult and we do not wish to waste words on whether 
marriage should be made more difficult, but one thing 
we are certain of, it should be made more deliberate. 
Young people should be made to stop and consider the 
obligations of the marriage relation before they are 
- permitted to enter into it. : 
Divorces are increasing rapidly in this country. As 
someone has said, ““The Mormons of old drove their 
wives abreast, but the Gentiles are driving them tandem 
fashion.” It is undoubtedly true that many young 
people enter into marriage lightly, feeling that if they 
do not like it, they can easily get a divorce. It is much 
harder to get a divorce in Canada, and you cannot but 


recognize that it probably serves to restrain those who 


would hastily enter into this serious partnership. 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 143 


One of the causes of domestic infelicity is the failure 
no doubt, of people being wise in their choice of life 
companions. You know there is the Scriptural injunc- 
tion, “Be ye not unequally yoked together.”” We can- 
not expect a happy home to be the result of marriage 
between a man and woman who are too widely sep- 
arated in their tastes, temperaments, and tendencies. 
No more than we can expect healthy, normal children 
to result from those unions which are in violation of 
all biologic laws and eugenic réquirements. 

Also we must not overlook the fact that about every 
decade, just about every ten years, our viewpoints, 
standards, and adaptation to life and its problems 
change more or less. The objects and aims of life, 
the attitude of married people to each other and the 
world in general, change every ten or twelve years, 
and there is need of readjustment. There should be a 
periodic stock-taking and a re-arrangement of plans 
and activities in accordance with this ever-changing 
viewpoint of life and its obligations. 

If we would enjoy a happy married life, we must 
recognize the element of service connected with these 
life partnerships. Not only service, but sacrifice, if 
necessary. 

The ideal of life on this planet is primarily one of 
service, and the whole thing is beautiful and sanctified 
if we are willing to make adjustments and adaptations 
that border on sacrifice. This may involve a cross, 
there may be a touch of sorrow in it, but there is a 
sublime sort of happiness that comes as the result of 
the ennoblement of character and the enrichment of 
one’s soul, which is an unfailing reward for all such 
unselfish service. | 


144 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


True, the equality of education and more free 
thought has brought about the so-called new woman. 
There is now taking place a reorganization, an evolu- 
tion in woman’s progress that is almost a revolution. 
Things are a bit upset and disjointed at the present 
time, but they are undoubtedly coming out all right. 
For a generation there may be more or less trouble as 
a result of woman’s emancipation, but in the end she 
will find her place. 

I am aware of the fact that the theologians have 
sometimes told us that woman should occupy a sub- 
ordinate place. There is a tendency to fall back on 
Paul’s doctrine—‘‘Let your women keep silent in the 
churches,” but I think it would be well if we could go 
back to Armenia where Paul was preaching when he 
uttered this dictum, and see how they conducted public 
worship in that country. It was and is their custom to 
seat the men on one side of the church, and the women 
on the other, with a partition of shutters between. The 
women then, as now, were uneducated; only the men 
had the advantages of the schools. 

When Paul would preach to his audience the men 
would listen on their side, and then on the other side 
one woman, not understanding what he said, would ask 
another woman, and so a babble and confusion of 
voices was the result. This disconcerted the Apostle 
as it no doubt would any modern speaker, and so he 
suggested that the women keep silent in the church, 
getting what they could out of the discussion, and if 
there was something they did not understand, they 
could ask their husbands when they went home. I 
presume Paul would be the last to tolerate the taking 
of his suggestion and making of it a religious dogma 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 145 


to stop the free and legitimate expression of modern 
woman whose education now is, or easily may be, equal 
to that of man. This whole thing takes on a different 
color when the circumstances of its utterance are fully 
understood. 

How many times we see the selfish, miserable, and 
unhappy man or woman transformed, marvelously 
changed, by marriage. How often we see the unselfish 
devotion to home, with its compromises and adjust- 
ments, with its service and sacrifice, the nursing of the 
sick babe, the fostering of the children, the rearing and 
safeguarding of careless and exuberant youth—well, 
the whole thing is so human, so beautiful, it affords 
such discipline, such training, such culture, that no one 
of all the modern melodies can so touch our hearts and 
inspire our minds and stir our innermost souls by the 
appeal to pleasant and uplifting memories—I say, of 
all songs none is so characteristically American, yes 
human, as that exquisite poem whose chorus expresses 
the sentiment of every real man or woman, ‘“‘Be it ever 
so humble, there’s no place like home.”’ 


7. A SETTLED PHILOSOPHY 


One of the great luxuries of life is a settled phil- 
osophy. Few persons realize how consistent and co- 
ordinate thinking contributes to happiness. By a settled | 
philosophy we mean a harmonious viewpoint of life. 
and its problems—a balanced working program for 
this world and the next. By a settled philosophy we 
mean a practical reconciliation between the urge of 
instinct and the ethical convictions of civilization. Our 


philosophy of living must embrace our scheme of exist- 


ence—it must include everything affecting our lives— 


146 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


from our methods of earning a livelihood to our habits 
of life—our social connections, home life, and spiritual 
ideals. 

It is by our philosophy that we sometimes contrive 
to reap happiness out of trouble. We use our reason 
so as to extract joy out of sorrow. We are thus some- 
times enabled to discern latent happiness in the com- 
monplace sorrows of life. We are ofttimes able to 
interpret suffering so as to gain comfort—to so under- 
stand the mission of sorrow as to foresee the harvest 
of correction and subsequent happiness as our reward 
for ceasing to do evil, while our suffering has taught us 
to do well. We are often taught obedience to the laws 
of God—and thereby gain happiness—through suffer- 
ing. 

Wisdom is essential to the possession of those things 
which enable us to live, as it were on the verge of joy 
while we dwell under the shadow of sorrow and 
adversity. 

It is in ourselves, in our own souls, that things are 
colored by joy or sorrow. There is no color in the 
material world outside the eye that perceives it, and so 
it is that the experience of life, our environment, stimu- 
lates in us the perception of joy or sorrow. What we 


call happiness and unhappiness consists in the con- 


sciousness of our own reaction to the diverse experi- 
ences of our life. , 
Our outlook upon life has much to do with the jo 


‘>, of living. Our viewpoint should be based upon the 


_/things we love and not the things we hate. No 
| philosophy of happiness is going to be built entirely 
/ out of restrictions, prohibitions, and taboos. It is the 
/~ expansive, creative emotions that breed happiness. The 


co 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 147 


undue repression of natural impulses only generates 
conflict and breeds sorrow. 

Our attitude toward the so-called struggle for exist- 
ence has a whole lot to do with our happiness. 

Modern science has so linked the whole world 
together, present-day society has become so unified and 
solidified, that each of us is influenced by what befalls 
the other. There is a community of happiness, a bond 
of joy, that runs throughout nations, in fact, encircles 
the earth and holds all people within its embrace. 

It is a great step in the development of one’s philos- 
ophy to reach that place described by the Apostle Paul 
where we can truly believe that “All things work to- 
gether for good.’’ Such a sublime confidence, such a 
perfection of faith, constitute a real and abiding foun- 
dation for optimism. There is consolation and comfort 
in a belief in an over-ruling, over-riding Providence of 
some sort. Some such idea is essential to a settled 
philosophy. We get happiness out of the concept of a 
universe regulated by law and guided in its ultimate 
destiny by the will and power of a Law Maker. 

The belief that things are running haphazard, at 
loose ends, the notion that everything in this world is 
getting worse and worse, is the basis of pessimism, 
and pessimism of this sort is a real foe to happiness, _ 


it is an efficient joy-killer. Pessimism is the dry rot of 4, “ 


ambition, the mildew of courage; it paralyzes initiative, » 
and destroys enterprise. 

A settled philosophy which contributes to real happi- 
ness unfailingly provides for the belief in the triumph 
of truth, the vindication of righteousness, and such a 
habit of thinking inspires confidence and generates 
faith. Hope is essential to the atmosphere of progress. 


148 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


Courage is the spirit of our advancement, material, 
spiritual, and intellectual. 


CHRISTIAN PHILOSOPHY 


Christianity is peculiar among religions in that it 
presents a philosophy which utilizes the sorrows of life 
as stepping stones to joy. It teaches us how to regard 
many sorts of trouble as the ancestors of happiness, 
telling us that all the best glimmers through the fiery 
trials of that which seems to be the worst. This is a 
religion that promises us happiness and eternal bliss as 
the reward of turmoil and strife. 

Job was certainly one of our earlier philosophers 
and he has sought to teach us how to endure all things, 
to hold fast that which is good, to accept the mission 
of correction as concealed in trouble, to develop a 
philosophy that discerns happiness and joy as the final 
harvest of pain and suffering. It seems to be the ideal 
of this ancient philosopher to make the best of what- 
ever befalls us, to believe that all things do work to- 
gether for good, and to seek to discern in the troubles 
of the hour a subsequent harvest of uplifted mind, 
purified character, and an exalted spirit. 

We must not overlook the fact that there come 
moments of depression in all men’s lives. Elijah, one 
of the great reformers of olden times, a man of tre- 
mendous personality, as the result of his arduous 
labors, suffered a nervous breakdown, grew depressed, 
thought the whole world was going to the demnition 
bow-wows, fled to the wilderness and sincerely wished 
for death that he might escape from a world that 
looked so hopeless to his neurasthenic vision. 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 149 


Solomon, the scholarly philosopher, who finally came 
to suffer from exaltation of ego, exclaimed, ‘‘Vanity of 
vanities, all is vanity.”” While we may be attracted to 
Solomon because of his wisdom, we cannot be 
enamored of his philosophy. He was a rank egotist. 
He relegated all things to himself. He sought for 
knowledge from every source, but he made himself the 
center of all. He received much, but gave out little, 
and thus inevitably he was doomed to drift into intro- 
spection, depression, and melancholy. 

Following the world-wide depression of the Dark 
Ages, there has been slow but sure advance in philos- 
ophy and social development. We have marched on 
from barbarism, leaving behind one by one our caves, 
mud huts, slave marts, and torture chambers. We are 
not yet fully civilized. Our philosophy of living is not 
yet fully developed but we have made progress. We 
are on the way toward a manifest destiny, the full 
nature and purport of which has not been revealed to 
human understanding. 

This is all bosh, pure fiction, about the “good old 
days,” “the golden age” of the ancients, etc. There 
were no such things. The little history we have vouch- 
safed for our instruction informs us that these olden 
times were days of bitterness and sorrow, suffering and 
hardship. The rank and file of humanity had few of 
the essentials and still less of the luxuries of happiness. 
The world as it is organized today—modern society, 
the civilized nations—is in possession of practically all 
of the essentials of happiness and likewise enjoys many 
of the luxuries. This notion of “the golden age” is a 
figment of the imaginaton, pure legend. There has 
been sure and certain progress on the part of the hu- 


150 How Yo!) CAN KEEP HAPPpy 


man family from thes« 2arlier periods of privation and 
suffering to the luxuri«: and comforts of today. 

In the effort to escape oppression, the human work- 
ers of past generations have sought for knowledge. 
Education is the unfailing deliverer from tyranny. 
Agitation always precedes education. The more educa- 
tion a given generation can have, the less agitation it is 
likely to tolerate. : 

We must not overlook the fact that poverty is often 
a spur to exertion; that hardship is a flogging force 
that serves to drive us onward and upward. 

In our philosophy of life, while we have a place for 
charity and philanthrophy, while Christian ethics incul- 
cate the teaching that it is incumbent upon the strong 
to protect the weak, while we accede to these impulses 
of tenderness and kindness, we should see to it that we 
bestow our charity with intelligence and with that dis- 
crimination that enables us to bless the present genera- 
tion while we prevent the reproduction of defectives 
and degenerates so as to perpetuate on an increasing 
scale these problems of delinquency for the harassment 
of future generations. 

We cannot close our eyes to the value of patience 
and forbearance as an essential trait in human char- 
acter, as something desirable if not indispensable to 
human happiness. We must learn to wait while we 
work and come to know that old Mother Nature is 
sometimes deliberate in solving her problems and in 
perfecting her projects. We can not force the develop- 
ment of a race of mankind, as it were, in a social or 
moral hothouse; but whatever our views of the relation 
of the past to the present, if we are conversant with 
the facts, we know that we live in an era of progress. 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 151 


The hosts of good are marching on. The hill may 
be steep and the summit far distant, the journey may 
be long, but we are on our way, and it contributes to 
our advancement if we can develop a settled philosophy 
that makes contact with the past of our race on the one 
hand, and with its future, with those things which are 
far ahead but which we believe are attainable, on the 
other hand. That is the mission of philosophy—to 
span the history of the race and to embrace its past, 
present, and future destiny. 

Man is created in the Divine image and he has 
power to triumph over all difficulties, to lord it over 
every human besetment. In spirit, man can be all- 
victorious over every sort of sorrow, disappointment, 
and oppression. 

While it is true that some men may be born with 
more gray matter and others may come into the world 
with a more fortunate balance of their ductless gland 
system than their fellows, while heredity does have 
much to do with making it more or less difficult easily 
to attain a happy frame of mind; nevertheless, there 
is given each and every one of us that endowment of 
reason and judgment which will enable us to perfect 
such a settled philosophy of life as to ever live in an 
atmosphere above and beyond the turmoils and tribula- 
tions of our daily existence. 


THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS 


The realms of tranquility are open alike to one and 
all, though some of us may be handicapped in the readi- 
ness with which we may attain these spheres of bliss; 
but there are some things in which God is no respecter 
of persons and whether we are blessed with one talent 


152 How You CAN KEEP HAPpy 


or ten, whether we may with ease or with difficulty 
attain happiness, nevertheless it is certainly and surely 
attainable by everyone. 

The pursuit of happiness is open equally to us all, 
and we must not overlook the fact that much of the joy 
of living is found in its pursuit, in our effert to attain 


We need to perfect a philosophy of living which will 


_ it, in playing the game of happy and joyous living. \ 


enthrone the soul so as to reign over and above all the 
transient and trifling entanglements of life. The spirit 
“of man must assume the mastery of the immediate 
atmosphere of life-enjoyment, as well as to beckon us 
upward toward our manifest destiny in the great 
beyond. 

We must not forget that some of the greatest 
passages of human literature have been penned by men 
who were incarcerated in prison cells. It was in an 
Athens’ jail that Socrates philosophized about immor- 


~~—tality; in a Roman dungeon that Galileo meditated upon 


science and natural law; and it was during his twelve 
years’ sojourn in the Bedford prison that Bunyan 
wrote his “‘Pilgrim’s Progress.”’ And all this only goes 
to show that the spirit of man, the human soul, is able 
always to soar above clouds of depression. 

The mind of man can function joyfully in an atmos- 
phere of gloom; it can rise victoriously in the presence 
of defeat, and work courageously in the face of any 
and all difficulties and disappointments. The spirit 
that indwells man can triumph over all the frailties of 
human flesh. 

One of the greatest tests that our philosophy can 
ever be put to is to provide a formula for happiness in 
the presence of physical suffering and protracted ill- 


f 
} 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 153 


health. I can think back to the experience of one of 
my patients who was confined to her bed helpless for 
eighteen long years before the end came, and yet I 
never saw her at any time when she was not joyous and 
happy. In almost every town throughout the length 
and breadth of this land you will find one such soul, 
someone who has been stopped in the prime of life; 
some ambitious person who has been cut down as it 
were on the very threshold of achievement, and yet you 
will find them enduring suffering with patience; facing 
their afflictions with fortitude, and in it all and through 
it all they bear their troubles with a resignation that 
would put to shame most of us who are wont to whine 
and complain over the passing sorrows and transient 
disappointments of our daily life. 

These cases of suffering are shining examples in- 
spiring us to press on—to practice happiness in the 
presence of hardship—and to give forth joy even 
when we are compelled for a time to suffer. They 
make us think of Epictetus, the slave, who in spite of 
the limitations and handicaps of his meager career 
became a philosopher—yes, became one of the immor- 
tals. Throughout a life of suffering and sorrow, in 
spite of it all, he seems to have been really and truly 
happy. Denied most of the essentials of happiness and 
all of its luxuries but one, that of a settled philosophy, 
this slave-philosopher with little beside his philosophy 
to aid him, achieved happiness, happiness that many a 
modern soul, blessed with well-nigh everything that 
could contributesto happiness, could but envy. 

It is one of the triumphs of philosophy that we are 
often able to be happy in the presence of disappointed 
ambitions. With our hopes shattered, our plans 


154 How You CAN KEEP HAPpy 


thwarted, our longings disappointed, still philosophy is 
able to help us see through our difficulties, reason 
around our obstacles, and even attain happiness in the 
presence of our disappointments. _ 

Philosophy helps us to be reconciled as we must 
tarry between the goal of our ambition and the handi- 
caps of the hour. And it is only philosophy that can 
comfort the soul that loves but is not loved in return. 
It is only philosophy that can help us to keep sweet in 
the presence of ingratitude. If our friends disappoint 
us, we may suffer for a time but philosophy admonishes 
us to forgive and forget, lest we embitter our souls. 


SOLVING LIFE’S PROBLEMS 


The inequalities of life—at least many of them—are 
hereditary, and we must learn, in the development of 
philosophy, how to adjust ourselves to the fact that 
some men have one talent, others three, five, and so on 
up to ten talents; and in viewing these apparent inequal- 
ities of life, we must not overlook the law of compensa- 
inevitable and unescapable. 

The modern science of eugenics points the way out 
of many of these difficulties. We now know sufficient 
about the laws of heredity to prevent the breeding of 
many of our weakest and most ignoble specimens of 
humanity. We do not have to allow coming genera- 
tions to consist in such large numbers of men who are 
so sorely handicapped by heredity that they are forced 
to go out and compete on an unequal footing with their 
more fortunate and favored fellows. The better we 
understand heredity, the less we are inclined to criticize 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 155 


the wisdom of the God of nature whose laws are behind 
these phenomena of inheritance. 

But as we think of the compensations that go so far 
toward making up for some things we must suffer by 
way of adversity and deprivation, we should abandon 
the idea that we must always wait for our compensa- 
tions in another world for most things which we suffer 
in this life; there are compensations in this world as 
well as in the next. 

And we should not overlook the fact that the great 
minds of the past and the present have had their day 
of sorrow. There have always been periods of hard- 
ship and adversity in the lives of most of our great 
leaders, writers, artists, and inventors. They all have 
had their ups and downs. Instead of looking with 
longing eyes toward the careers of others, it is well for 
each individual to develop a philosophy that inspires 
him to perform: with all his might that which his hands 
find to do. 

There is real happiness in enthusiastic devotion to 
one’s work, in contentment with one’s situation, that is, 
if we have done our best to make it all we think it 
ought to be. We must not fail to do our best, and to 
this end we should be mindful of the old time exhorta- 
tion to “stir up the gift” that is within us—make sure 
that we are employing all of our talents. 

It would seem that trouble and adversity are oft- 
times the teachers of Providence; that sorrow and dis- 
appointment constitute a sort of Divine discipline. It 
seems that short-sighted and wayward human nature 
requires some sort of a moral gymnasium in which it 
may exercise, may increase its strength and develop its 
higher powers. It seems we require something to prod 


156 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


us, to goad us, to stimulate action and reaction lest we 
become soft and weak and flabby, and fail to develop 
those sturdy qualities of moral manhood which are so 
necessary in the end to the enjoyment of the fullest 
happiness and satisfaction in living. It would seem 
that the noblest characters are pounded out by the 
hammer of suffering on the anvil of adversity. 

And in this connection, we must not over-theorize 
about our hardships and sufferings. ‘That is, we are 
not going to accomplish anything that will contribute 
to our happiness by closing our eyes to facts; we are 
not going to promote joy by denying the existence of 
sorrow. We are not going to increase happiness by 
refusing to recognize unhappiness. We might just as 
well be prepared to face the facts. One ancient philos- 
/ opher, you know, said that ‘‘Man is born to trouble as 
\ the sparks fly upward.” We might as well brace our- 
selves and prepare to meet some of these things. 
Trouble in varying degree is well nigh universal. 

Man is put in this world to earn his bread by the 
sweat of his face and that should be looked upon as a 
blessing, not a curse. We at least can develop our 


philosophy to the point where we can turn many of ~ 


these reputed curses into genuine blessings. ‘That is 
the realm of philosophy—to help us rightly to interpret 
the problem of living. 

In all these matters let us develop a passion for the 
truth. Be willing to face the facts. Be brave as we 
stand in the presence of bona fide problems of living. 
Let us face defeat squarely and stand up in the presence 
of sorrow manfully. Let us be enthusiastic players in 
the game of life, brave contenders, but withal and ever, 
good losers. 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 157 


We must not forget the biologic law that teaches us 
the higher we ascend in the scale of human life, the 
greater the capacity for pain, suffering, and sorrow. 
The possibility of joy ever implies the probability of 
sorrow. ‘The capacity for health carries with it the 
likelihood of disease. The potential of happiness 
always implies the possibility of unhappiness. As we 
ascend in the scale of development, the greater our 
capacity for sentiment and sympathy, it inevitably fol- 
lows that there exists an increased possibility of sorrow 
and an equal capacity for suffering and unhappiness. 

If it were possible for us always to avoid suffering 
we would avoid much of our culture, be deprived of 
much of our education and training that is worth while, 
and would be denied that strength of character that 
makes man big and broad and noble. We should not 
overlook the fact that too much luxury is a great handi- 
cap in our efforts to acquire joy and to experience 
happiness. It is literally true that sometimes the mid- 
night of sorrow precedes the dawn of the day of our 
most sublime joy, and that hardship and adversity con- 
stitute the gateway to the realms of bliss and happiness. 


A SETTLED PHILOSOPHY 


_ Perhaps the most important thing about a philosophy 
of living is not that it should necessarily be correct and 
true, but that it should be settled. Another is that it¢ 
should be consistent and reasonable—that is, reason- 
able to the mind of the one who entertains it. 

Our philosophy of living needs to be consistent and” 
logical with reference to health and disease. We must 
know that our physical well-being is a matter of sowing 
and reaping as regards health and disease. We must 


158 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


understand the interrelationship of the laws of heredity, 
the practice of personal hygiene and the principles of 
community health and sanitation. We must know that 
health is Nature working in the body under conditions 
of obedience, and that disease represents the same 
natural forces functioning under abnormal and unfav- 
orable conditions. Health is not a matter which rep- 
resents the Divine smile, and disease the result of the 
machinations of evil spirits. 

Our philosophy must be consistent in our own minds 
with reference to Providence and progress. We have 
to settle in our minds whether we believe there has 
been orderly progression of affairs on our planet, or 
whether the great affairs of history, the cataclysmic 
upheavals of Nature, are simply arbitrary decrees of 
providence, temperamental manifestations on the part 
of the forces in control of this planet. We are not 
going to be happy until our philosophy determines for 
us whether we are living in a world of law and order, 
or that we dwell in a universe of chance and confusion. 

Our philosophy determines to what degree we are 
going to be superstitious, the victims of hoodoos, fears, 
and other sorts of dreads. Our philosophy determines 
to what extent we are going to worry over the petty 
affairs of life, and it helps us in this business of deter- 
mining between essentials and non-essentials. It has a 
lot to do with the amount of stress and strain we are 
going to bear as we go through life. 


Our philosophy determines how we are going to 


adjust the great problems of life, how we are going to 
compromise or otherwise settle the confliction between 
science and religion. We ultimately, in our philosophy, 
settle our views as to the origin of the human race, and 


. LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 159 


we work out a consistent belief which is satisfactory to 
us and which, to our own minds, accounts for the facts 
and phenomena of Nature on the one hand, and spir- 
itual agencies and the moral ideals of the human race, 
onthe other. And let me repeat that it is not necessary 
that we solve these problems in a final sense in order 
to formulate a settled philosophy. 

One’s philosophy is all the while subject to revision, 
it is undergoing constant change, gradual growth. It 
is only necessary that it be consistent and in working 
order today. New light, advanced knowledge, more 
education, will all necessarily bring about a revision of 
our philosophy tomorrow or the next day; but we get 
happiness out of it if it is consistent, settled, and in 
working condition today; and so the real purpose of 
living, the interrelationship of our great emotions hav- 
ing to do with work, play, religion, and sex, are all 
part and parcel of our philosophy of life. 

I think most folks in developing a philosophy are 
forced to take into consideration the dual nature of 
man in his present stage of development. There seems 
to be existent in the human mind, two natures—just as 
much as if they had had a separate hereditary origin. 
One nature is animalistic, instinctive, and consists 
largely of natural impulses and innate biologic urges. 
The other side of our nature seems to be quite separate 
and apart from this animal and instinctive tendency; it 
is spiritual, moral, idealistic, intellectual, to say the 
least, and seems so high above the animal as to 
impress one with the possibility of its separate origin, 
or to lead to the belief, as it has in many peoples 
throughout the ages, of its being a supernatural endow- 
ment, a gift of the gods. 


160 How You CAN KEEP HAPPy 


This dual nature of man leads to inevitable conflict, 
interminable warring, and represents one of the great 


spheres of human experience where a settled philosophy » 


is required in order to bring about peace, adjustment, 
and happiness. It is in our philosophy that we make 
the necessary compromises between conscience and the 
conventions of civilization on the one hand, and the 
biologic urges and animal propensities on the other. 
It is in the realm of philosophy that we must bring 
about some degree of peace between these warring 
elements of human nature and in this sphere perhaps 
as in no other, a settled, consistent philosophy con- 
tributes so largely to human happiness. 


PHILOSOPHY AND EMOTIONS 


We must not overlook the fact that when our emo- 


“s.tions fail of normal elimination, when we fail to enjoy 


/natural and average self-expression, that sooner or 
_ later this sort of emotional overload or unnatural 
_ suppression jeopardizes the balance and equilibrium of 
the nervous system and brings on some form of “‘ner- 
vousness.”” Our philosophy helps us to lead a more 
harmonious life and to properly apportion our activi- 
ties so that we get a sort of balanced experience out of 
our work, play, religion, and social life. Our philos- 
ophy not only directly helps us in our emotional 
elimination, but indirectly assists us in living a symmet- 
rical emotional life, so that we do not indulge one 
emotion at the expense of another. 

Good judgment helps us to balance our life between 
our activities of work and play. Our philosophy helps 
us in making adjustments in our life as regards religion 
and sex. Our social activities are thus kept under the 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 161 


control of reason and so we avoid the extremes of 
conduct that would be dictated on the one hand by an 
unenlightened conscience and on the other by a purely 
instinctive urge. 

Instinct and emotion dominate the realm of our sex 
life in a general way, while conscience and our higher 
ideals dominate in our religious and ethical life; and 
it is in these two realms that we encounter those con- 
flicts which are so largely responsible for nervous 
breakdowns and other sorts of human miseries; and so 
it is here that our philosophy of life must come in to 
help us in making those necessary compromises and 
adjustments which will enable us to be healthy on the 
one hand and happy on the other. 

Our philosophy points out the way in which we may 
order our lives so as to enjoy health without being 
wicked; while at the same time we can enjoy our re- 
ligion and lead normal, conscientious lives without 
getting sick. 

Philosophy helps us in ordering and organizing our 
lives with reference to the great problems of existence. 
Government, home, society, occupation, industry, 
politics, prohibition, and war—all these things that 
touch individual races and nations from time to time 
so vitally, that have so much to do with human health, 
happiness, efficiency, and liberty — philosophy is the 
personal opinion, the individual reaction, the golden 
thread that runs through them all and binds them to- 
gether in a symmetrical whole, and in the end de- 
termines our conclusions, formulates our opinions, and 
crystallizes our decisions. Philosophy is the sum total 
of all these things as they are added up in the human 
soul. 


162 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


~ Philosophy is the meeting ground for the urges of 
the body and the aspirations of the soul. Philosophy 
represents the working union between the instincts of 
the body and the inspiration of the spirit. ( Science 
represents what we know, religion what we feel, but 
philosophy is the domain of our deliberate thought and 
our coordinate thinking, and it represents for the time 
being our composite decision.) What we feel must not 
be confused with what we know. 

Our philosophy determines to what extent we will 
indulge in luxury on the one hand and practice self- 


tae 


denial and curb our natural appetites and propensities _ 


on the other. Philosophy determines how we will 
coordinate our philanthropic ministrations that rep- 
resent the milk of human kindness in the presence of 
suffering on the part of the individual who may be 
defective and degenerate, with the demands of race 
hygiene or eugenics, which summon us to so bestow 
our charity as to uplift permanently the species, to 
work for the improvement of generations as yet 
unborn. 

Indeed the domain of philosophy is vast and far- 
flung. In fact, our philosophy does not stop until it 
has created a consistent and satisfactory interpretation 
of the universe at large. The philosopher does not 
stop in his efforts to codrdinate and harmonize affairs 
merely as they pertain to this planet, but in his specu- 
lative imagination he allows his mind to range the 
universe and doesn’t hesitate to create his skeleton of 
belief, and outline of procedure, which helps him to 
form some sort of consistent idea as to the eternal 
purpose of Divine power in the control of an Infinite 
universe, functioning in accordance with eternal law, 


LUXURIES OF HAPPINESS 163 


d,s its orderly processions of worlds swarm and whirl 
through limitless space. 
The poet has expressed this view beautifully in the 
Psalm of Life. 


A PSALM OF LIFE 


Tell me not, in mournful numbers, 

Life is but an empty dream!— 
For the soul is dead that slumbers, 
And things are not what they seem. 


Life is real! Life is earnest! 
And the grave is not its goal; 
Dust thou art, to dust returnest, 
Was not spoken of the soul. 


Not enjoyment, and not sorrow, 
Is our destined end or way; 

But to act, that each to-morrow 
Finds us farther than to-day. 


Art is long, and Time is fleeting, 

And our hearts, though stout and brave, 
Still, like muffled drums, are beating 
Funeral marches to the grave. 


In the world’s broad field of battle, 
In the bivouac of Life, 

Be not like dumb, driven cattle! 

Be a hero in the strife! 


Trust no Future, howe’er pleasant! 
Let the dead Past bury its dead! 
Act,—act in the living Present! 
Heart within, and God o’erhead! 


164 


How You CAN KEEP HApPpy 


Lives of great men all remind us 
We can make our lives sublime, 
And, departing, leave behind us 
Footprints on the sands of time; 


Footprints, that perhaps another, 
Sailing o’er life’s solemn main, 

A forlorn and shipwrecked brother, 
Seeing, shall take heart again. 


Let us, then, be up and doing, 
With a heart for any fate; 
Still achieving, still pursuing, 
Learn to labor and to wait. 
—Henry Wadsworth Longfellov. 


PART III 


JOY KILLERS—THE LITTLE DEVILS THAT 
SPOIL HAPPINESS 


ie PART I we considered the seven essentials of 
happiness, and in Part II, the seven luxuries of 
happiness—those things which, while not entirely essen- 
tial to happiness, do, nevertheless, add greatly to the 
joy and pleasure of living. Now we come to the con- 
sideration of joy killers. We now take up the study of 
those influences and agencies which are so effective in 
overthrowing happiness. 

In. this section we have more largely to do with 
the study of those people who have been more or less 
happy and who have in some way brought unhappiness 
upon themselves. We are concerned in pointing out 
and making clear those states of mind and habits. of 
conduct which are so unfailingly influential in turning 
happy people, joyful souls, into unhappy and sorrow- 
ful beings. In other words, this section of our work 
concerns itself with the identification of those little 
devils which are so certainly destructive of happiness 
and with pointing out how we may successfully avoid 
these malevolent influences. 

We want to build a sure and abiding structure of 
happiness. We are not interested in the deceptive 
scaffolding of life. For the time being, superficially, 
our transient pleasures and fascinations may constitute 
a scaffold which apparently makes some people happy; 
but real happiness is the reaction of our own person- 


165 


12 


166 How You CAN KEEP HAP? 


ality upon our environment. Happiness is > ye found 
in the way we do things and view things. come folks 
try to exist, as far as happiness is concerned, upon a 
succession of scaffolding, but it is only by arriving at 
more or less of a settled philosophy of life that we can 
avoid these transient and make-shift policies of living. 

Those influences which are destructive of happiness 
will be discussed under the following ten heads: 


Sickness—suffering. 
Hurry—nervous tension. 
Worry—chronic fear. 
Debt—extravagance. 
Selfishness—exalted ego. 
Suspicion—intolerance. 
Tdleness—loneliness. 
Anger—pugnacity. 
Hate—revenge. 
Conscience—emotional conflict. 


ae adam IS Ss 


— 


1. SICKNESS—SUFFERING 


Only a certain few—those heroic and noble souls we 
meet now and then—can really be happy in the pres- 
ence of physical suffering. Disease isat-the_bottom 
‘of much human sorrow and grief. \ We cannot look 


upon sorrow and grief aS~emotions in and of them- 
selves; they are rather feeling tones. Maal are aroused 
by other emotions and sentiments.*, If the physical 
body falls victim to somé-grave angante disease, or if 
our nervous system and digestive functions succumb ~ 
to some harassing functional disorder, we will soon 


*See further discussion of emotions and sentiments in the Appendix. 


| 


oF 


Joy KILLERS | 167 


find the pathway to happiness more or less surely 
blocked. Health is one of the essentials of happiness, 
and disease is an unfailing joy killer. 

A great deal of the world’s sorrow is due to sin—sin 


which results in sickness. The violation of the laws 


of Nature (and I believe that the laws of Nature are 
the laws of God) soon results in a loss of happiness. 
Temperance is a virtue that promotes happiness. Mod- 
eration is the path of joy. When our pleasures are 
overdone, they lead only to fatigue and pain. When 
we transgress the laws of life, we reap only sickness 
and suffering; and it is in this connection that our 
vicious and vulgar excitement, alcoholic stimulation, 
and other foolish and benumbing sensual pleasures, all 
‘lead to regret and unhappiness—to sickness and sor- 
row. 

All the transient_] happiness_and_ pleasure which we 
secure by the use of drugs.is-a-snare and a delusion. 
True ‘happiness i is not to be found in these paths of dis- 
sipation, deception, and disease. 

Did you ever stop to think how much unhappiness 
is caused by minor sufferings, many of which are avoid- 
able, most of which are in general, preventable? I 
refer to such minor illnesses as headaches, backaches, 
common colds, constipation, etc. It is very difficult to 
prevent the transient and “‘bilious’’ hue of these minor 
afflictions from coloring the transactions of our daily 
doings. They all directly and indirectly detract from 
the sum total of human happiness. They lessen the 
joy of living and unfailingly add to the stress and strain 
of both the nervous system and the moral nature, as 
we seek to maintain a happy reaction to life in the 
presence of physical afflictions and nervous handicaps. 


168 © How You CAN KEEP HAPPy 


Accidents will overtake us now and then in spite of 
our most painstaking precautions. We cannot hope to 
avoid our share of the vicissitudes of living. But we 
_ should plan.on escaping more and more of the sorrows 
\ of life which settle down upon us as.a result of pre- 
‘\ventable diseases and unhygienic habits. 

I recall the case of a woman whom I have known 
for years, who possessed such a sunny, radiant tem- 
perament, such a cheerful disposition, she was such a 
pleasure to herself and to her family and friends. Not 
long ago, I saw this same woman, so many years so 
cheerful and happy, and she was sickly; her counte- 
nance was sorrowful, and she was quite miserable. 
How did it all come about? Let. me tell the story. 
This woman had a number of dead teeth which be- 
came abscessed. She also had infected tonsils which 
should have been removed, but since she was not both- 
ered much with sore throat and colds, she likewise 
neglected these foci of infection. Now, between the 
two of them—at least that is the medical conclusion 
that was reached in this case after thorough investiga- 
tion—these little foxes of infection began to spread* 
mischief through her body. ‘The next step was rheu- 
matism—painful joints, excruciating suffering—weeks, 
even months of it, enough to spoil the pleasant dis- 
position of a saint. 

In spite of all that medical treatment could offer 
following the tardy removal of the infected teeth and 
tonsils, there was little improvement in her joint suffer- 
ing; practically every joint in her body has been in- 
volved, some of them so severely as to bring about 
partial loss of function, and that is not all—before the 
devastating infection had spent its force, her heart was 


Joy KILLERS 169 


attacked; the tender lining was infected and the valves 
are diseased as a result, so that now her heart leaks, 
is enlarged, and she is thus in a double way a semi- 
invalid for life. 

Now we must help this good woman make the best 
of the situation. She is the victim of a neglected infec- 
tion. It has all but taken her life and she will have 
to call her philosophy into service to find out how to be 
happy in spite of these misfortunes. But cases like 
this serve to illustrate how much easier it is to be happy 
if we can keep well. Such experiences accentuate our 
duty to avoid sickness by every means at our disposal. 
Ill health must be set down as the first and great foe of 
joyful living. 

Here is the case of a young woman whose hearing 
is irreparably injured. Her mother belonged to that 
old-fashioned school which believed in letting the child 
get the measles, scarlet fever, and whooping cough, 
and be done with it. Well, this little girl had measles 
when she was nine years of age and her hearing was all 
but ruined as the result of the disease. We should put 
off even the childhood diseases as long as possible— 
avoid having them altogether if we can. 

I recall the case of a woman who has a severe infec- 
tion of the gall-bladder, with gall-stones, etc. She used 
to be a healthy, happy specimen of humanity, but she 
dreaded to have an operation. She has had repeated 
and severe attacks of her trouble. She complains of 
“biliousness” and what not, and she is getting “‘bilious” 
in her mind as well as in hef body. All her friends re- 
mark about her changed disposition in recent years, 
and it is all due to this infected and infested gall- 
bladder. She is being poisoned all the time by it. She 


170 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


is being kept in constant fear and apprehension of a 
painful attack, passing a small stone, etc. She has tried 
all the quack remedies that falsely claim to dissolve 
gall-stones, and I don’t know but what she has more 
recently been trying mind cure on this gall-bladder. No 
doubt she is otherwise making a brave and heroic effort 
to be happy in the presence of her pain and afflictions, 
but it is hard to do, and why should we impose this 
unnecessary strain on the moral nature when medical 
science and surgical skill can give relief to such pa- 
tients? | 

One thing is certain—thousands of people are re- 
stored to health, and thus to happiness, by modern 
medical science, who, in another generation, would 
have suffered on indefinitely or until mercifully relieved 
by the hand of death. Science has become the hand- 
maiden of happiness, and medical skill the servant of 
joy. Modern sanitation and preventive medicine con- 
tribute enormously to human happiness, for everything 
we do to promote and preserve health—all our activi- 
ties which help us to dodge disease—are happiness pro- 
moters. 

I am thinking at the time of this writing of a man, 
about thirty years of age, whom I knew years ago. He 
was so cheerful and happy—such a buoyant chap—but 
he took his health lightly; he paid no attention to keep- 
ing well; he ate all he wanted, and what he wanted; 
abused his body; neglected to rest and relax his ner- 
vous system; drove on relentlessly in the struggle for 
riches, and at thirty-two years of age, collapsed. Years — 
have gone by and he has not been able fully to re- 
habilitate himself; he is still more or less of a wreck; 
his collapse was really a physical one as well as a ner- 


Joy KILLERS at 


yous breakdown; it was really a constitutional smash- 
up. And what has been the result on his happiness? 
It is all but wrecked. He has become a sordid, sour, 
grouchy individual. In fact, his sickness has destroyed 
the sunshine and wrecked the happiness of his entire 
family; his unhappy disposition overshadows the 
home; his pessimism is reflected on all the other mem- 
bers of the family. 

I want to tell the story of another young fellow who 
was so happy in his youth—a wholesome, splendid, 
cheerful sort of person. He was an ideal specimen of 
manhood, blessed with the highest type of physical 
health and mental courage, but he was unfortunately 
taught in his youth—or rather, I should say, he was 
left in ignorance about some things that are vitally 
important for a young man to know as he grows up 
and goes out and mingles with the world to meet all 
classes of people and encounter the struggle which 
every healthy young man goes through with the normal 
biologic urge of passion—I say, this lad was poorly 
equipped to meet the temptations of modern society, 
and he yielded. He failed to make a determined and 
successful stand in that inevitable moral struggle which 
every young man is compelled to undergo, and early in 
his social sin he contracted one of those unmentionable 
diseases of social transgression, and he has subse- 
quently spent years in taking treatment, trying to eradi- 
cate this loathsome infection. What a change all this 
has wrought in his disposition! How unhappy and 
depressed he has become as the result of this experi- 
ence. How sordid and soured he has become. He 
goes about his business all the while, but nevertheless 
he is entirely changed. This affliction has turned a 


172 How You CAN KEEP HAppPy 


happy, sunny disposition into one of almost melan- 
cholic regret and depression. 

We cannot close our eyes to the fact that sickness 
is the master joy-killer; it is the hardest thing we have 
to surmount when it comes to enjoying the full pleasure 
of living. It is the chief enemy of happiness, and as 
such we should recognize it and seek in every way pos- 
sible to avoid those practices of living or habits of 
thinking which can in any way lead to sickness and dis- 
ease with their inevitable harvest of suffering. 


2. Hurry—NeERvous [TENSION 


How many times the doctor discovers the source of 
both ill health and unhappiness in the rapid pace of 
modern society. Everybody is keyed up. The pres- 
sure of living is high and the American people, as no 
other nation on earth, are trying to exemplify the 
meaning of that new term—“hustle.” And it is not 
always the urge of ambition, even inordinate ambition, 
that drives us on, but it is sometimes the tyranny of 
avarice. 

This process of hurrying begins early in life. Chil- 
dren are hurried through their morning toilet and 
breakfast in order to get off to school on time. The 
over-crowded curriculum from the early days of the 
grade schools to the last year of college compels the 
student to hurry, to rush, to crowd, to cram. The 
whole plan of life is based on a hurry schedule. 

Great possibilities are held up before our youth if 
they will only work hard, hustle, and stick to it; and a 
reasonable amount of this sort of doctrine is good for 
our young folks; but we undoubtedly overdo it, even 


Bid 


Joy KILLERS by AS' 


in the case of youth. You know we can only have six 
or eight presidents in one generation, and yet every 
schoolboy is early led to believe that he may become 
president of the United States if he emulates the ex- 
ample of George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and 
Theodore Roosevelt. 

How many times I have seen a happy life spoiled 
by taking on too many burdens, assuming too many 
responsibilities; to add just one more thing and then 
another, and still another, spells inevitable breakdown, 
and breakdown means the loss of happiness, at least 
temporarily. You just can’t keep on adding to your 
burden of life and get away with it. 

Big business says, “speed up; more production; 
hurry; hustle; bustle.” It is not strange that this 
hurly-burly rush is turning us into a nervous, harassed, 
dyspeptic, highly-strung nation. 

It is absolutely impossible to keep driving a little 
faster and yet a little faster, without paying the price 
—and the price is usually the loss of both health and 
happiness. 

We can truly say that the American people are ac- 
quiring the “hurry habit,” and it is simply a habit. This 
thing could be put under control and a lot of this use- 
less, senseless rushing about could be stopped just as 
well as not. 

I remember not long ago of talking with a chap who 
was literally breaking himself down by this constant 
rushing around in circles, and I told him he must cut 
out some things, but he said, “I can’t, Doctor, the day 
isn’t long enough to do the things I have on hand now, 
and there are a number of new ones I must take on.” 
I had him keep a week’s record—I have a blank for 


i 


174 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


this purpose containing a space for each half hour of | 


the day, from 6 in the morning to 11 at night, and I 
had him fill it in each day for a week, and then we went 
into conference over the proposition. As a result of 
two hours’ study we decided to cut out just exactly one- 
half of what he was doing. Careful examination re- 
vealed that one-half of this man’s hurry and worry 
was about comparatively insignificant, if not useless, 
work—work that had no permanent value, that was not 
connected with his livelihood, work that had no cul- 
tural worth. 

He admitted before he left me that he could get 
along just as well and leave half of it undone. We 
found he was doing work his subordinates should do, 
that they were supposed to do, and that they would 
have been benefited by doing. He was worrying about 
a lot of things that didn’t concern him at all. Some 
concerned the higher officials of the firm, some the 
public authorities, while some of the most serious wor- 
ries could have no possible concern except to the Al- 
mighty Himself. 

Now, you can imagine this fellow back-slid repeat- 
edly. That is, he had fallen into such a “hurry habit” 
that he wanted to go back and do these things after 
he had promised me to cease such foolish activities; 
but by the end of six months he was able to keep his 
trolley on the wire pretty constantly, and he began to 
gain in flesh, the expression on his face changed from 
that scowling, hunted animal countenance, to one of 
cheerfulness and beaming good-will. It can be done. 

This hurry business is a habit and you can break 
yourself of it if you will determine to do it and go 
about it methodically and stick to it persistently. 


Joy KILLERS | Bla Vivi 


With reference’to our commercial life, educational 
career, and even family life, we should remember that 
experience does not consist in the n.mber of things you 
have done, and neither does culture consist in the 
vast number of facts you know or have superficially 
skimmed over in your studies. Culture consists in 
knowing a few things well; encyclopedic education does 
not mean that you have acquired culture. 

And even the new woman is beginning to take on 
this rapid-transit atmosphere of the men folks. She 
is beginning to rush around, bolt her breakfast, and 
hurry off to her manifold duties, some of which are 
real, and some more or less imaginary. We are sorry 
to see women who are already subjected to numerous 
nervous influences in the nature of stress and strain— 
I say, we regret to see them falling into the hurrying 
habits of the American business man. 

Life has become for many folks a restless, feverish 
race from the cradle to the grave. Many of these hur- 
ried souls know nothing about what it means to have 
a little leisure, to take time for living, to stop long 
enough to enjoy life itself. While we know that soli- 
tude is not good if overdone, it certainly would be 
advisable for the American people to acquire the habit 
of stopping, at least once in twenty-four hours, to think. 
If we had nothing more than a thirty minutes “silent 
hour” for meditation, devotion, worship—something, 
anything—to stop this mad rush toward some figment 
of a goal—a goal that in the end proves to be nothing 
but the grave. I think there would be solace in solitude 
for many of these victims of the hurry habit. 

Why should we make idolatry of wealth and work, 
and devote ourselves to the pursuits of these material 


~ 


176 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


things after the ‘ashion of the fanaticism and super- 
stitious devotion © *n ancient priest of the sun god? 


AMERICANITIS 


I understand well that the blend of races we have 
here in America produces a temperament that is swift 
and vigorous; but there is no reason why we should 
allow our struggle for mere things to destroy our own 
happiness or that of our families. We must remember 
that character is a thing of growth, that time is re- 
quired for its cultivation. A mushroom springs up 
over night, but the sturdy oak requires years to per- 
fect its growth. 

We might just as well settle in our minds that there 
is no rapid transit route to culture, character, and re- 
finement. We may be able to force, by hot-house 
methods, the acquisition of knowledge, but wisdom is 
ripened by more natural and gradual methods. 

Here is a middle-aged woman who used to be so 
happy and cheerful—she was such a healthy and at- 
tractive person. Little by little she fell into this Amer- 
ican tendency to undertake just one thing more—to 
add just one more task to her already overloaded life. 
She did well for a season, she had sufficient inherent 
vitality to stand the stress and strain, but the end is 
already in sight; she is beginning to show signs of the 
inevitable break—her health is failing, her nerves are 
getting wabbly, her disposition is corroding, her mind 
is clouding, and her whole career hangs in the balance. 
I am hoping we can apply the brakes gradually and 
eracefully. I trust we can avoid a real smash-up. It 
is positively ridiculous to hear the unreasonable man- 


Joy KILLERS 177 


ner in which she talks when we try to admonish her 
about her foolish activities and multifarious undertak- 
ings. This nonsensical “hurry habit” is just like any 
other habit—when you once get it (rather, when it once 
gets you) you are comparatively a helpless slave of the 
tyranny of habitual repetition. 

I think if we would stop to peruse the lives of the 
great men of former generations, we would find that 
the teachers of truth and the sages of other days were 
not rushed. Lincoln was not driven through school 
and college courses at break-neck speed. He grew up 
leisurely, with few books, but he mastered thoroughly 
those things which his hand and mind found to do. 

Even the founder of Christianity went about His im- 
portant work leisurely, working many years at the car- ° 
penter’s bench, and taking time in the midst of the most 
vital part of His career to go down for week-ends at 
Bethany to visit and commune with Lazarus and his 
sisters. 

This hurly-burly rush and drive of the American 
people is nothing more nor less than Americanitis—it 
is a disease itself—a tendency characteristic of Amer- 
icans, and it means the loss of health and happiness in 
the end. More quickly does hurry bring ruination 


when it is associated with worry. Hurry and worry@ , 


are the most efficient twin demons I know of to quickly,” 
destroy human health and happiness. 

Not long ago I came across a woman 28 years of 
age, who seemed to have this hurry habit. I tried to 
reason with her, but to no purpose. Finally she was 
persuaded to submit to a thorough examination and we 
found she was suffering from goiter, though the thy- 
roid gland did not appear to be enlarged. A metabol- 


178 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


ism test and other study showed that her heart and 
nervous system were involved, that her gland was over- 
secreting, and under the lash of this chemical in her 
blood, her nerves kept her constantly on the go. She 
could not stop. She simply couldn’t relax, and so she 
was put to bed and will be kept there until this thyroid 
comes down to normal, or until part of this over-active 
gland is removed by surgery. 

I had a very dear friend—he has passed on now— 
who was a victim of this hurry habit. I am sorry to 
confess that nobody was ever able to help him. He 
literally drove himself to death. He was one of those 
hyper-conscientious souls. If he had been scurrying 
around just to make money, I think we could have rea- 
soned with him, but he had the burden of the world 
on his shoulders, he was.a sort of vicarious Atlas, and 
you know it is hard to help people when you are deal- 
ing with what they call conscience, especially when they 
come to the place where they believe that all of their 
feelings, premonitions, and what not, are the call of 
conscience, and that conscience is the voice of God to 
the soul. 


THE HURRY HABIT 


But I must tell you about another—a case of this 
hurry habit—a man about 35 years of age, a business 
man who has driven himself at a fierce pace since he 
was sixteen when he graduated from high school and 
went to work in the business world. At the time I saw 
him, he had been recognizing evidence of a breakdown 
for more than a year and thought he had better take 
stock. He had begun to get weary. His mind was 
bothering him, his memory was affected, his power of 


Joy KILLERS 179 


concentration was greatly diminished. Now it was only 
necessary to do two things to help this man—that is, 
aside from minor corrections in his diet and other phys- 
ical details—these two things were: First, we made 
an inventory of what he was doing and got rid of about 
one-third of it, put it on the shoulders of his subordi- 
nates, perfected a better organization in his office, got 
him initiated into the order of “Do it now’’—to keep 
things cleaned right up to date—to keep his desk all 
the time cleared for action. This helped us a little, 
but it was necessary to do one thing more before he 
got over his weariness in the afternoon. 

It seems this man would sit at his desk and try to 
work or interview people, and from 1 o'clock on he 
would yawn and yawn—he could hardly keep awake— 
and yet by 10 o’clock at night he was wide awake and 
didn’t usually go to sleep until after midnight. Well, 
we had to rent a small office on the floor above his 
office, in which a couch was placed, and now he goes 
to lunch at 12:30, eating a very light and simple lunch, 
and at 1 o’clock he goes to this room and practices re- 
laxation from 1 to 2, no matter whether he sleeps or 
not; but the facts are that after the first few weeks, he 
slept regularly. He is called promptly at 2 o’clock and 
goes to work. 

I don’t know how many people I have helped with 
this plan, but usually they have been those who are fifty 
years of age or over. But sometimes, in the case of 
those who are younger and who have the hurry habit 
and who also have low blood pressure, it is necessary 
for them to have a rest about the middle of the day. 
The most acceptable time to take it is immediately 
after lunch. Thousands of people in this country could 


ee > 


180 How You CAN KEEP HAPpy 


prevent nervous breakdowns and add greatly to their 
efliciency, if they would take this rest in the middle of 
the day. Some who are overweight, who are already 
over-eating, would do well to take this noon rest instead 
of a noon lunch. 

Some of this hurry habit of the present generation 
is due to nothing more nor less than an exaggerated 
sense of one’s importance. We get it into our heads 
that we are important and that a great deal depends 
upon us and what we are doing. It would be a good 
thing if we could stop long enough to understand that 
the world would go on just the same if we were sud- 
denly blotted out of existence. 

Some folks are in a hurry because they are suffering 
from nothing more nor less than a ‘‘swelled head,” and 
even when they later get over this exaggerated notion 
of themselves, they have so thoroughly formed the 
habit of being in .a hurry, that they go on rushing 
about in this mad fashion when they could, by putting 
a little brains into their work, by reorganizing their 
regime, do their work efficiently, and have sufficient 
leisure to care for both health and happiness. 

Start in today. Take stock. Look yourself over. 
Reorganize your work. Slough off the non-essentials. 
Pledge yourself to learn relaxation and practice it. 
Take time to live, to think, to play. Provide for the 
culture of your mind and soul, as well as for the health 
of the physical body. Get acquainted with your family. 
Have time to visit with your friends. Take an interest 
in your community. Begin to really live. Provide 
time to make yourself a better husband, wife, father, 
mother, brother, or sister—yes, save time enough to 


devote to your improvement along all those essential | 


bd 


Joy KILLERS 181 


lines of human culture that in the end will make you a 
more happy and useful American citizen. 


3. Worry—CHRONIC FEAR 


One of the surest Bays of destroying human happi- 
ness is to allow one’s mind to become possessed of a 
chronic fear of some sort, a special phobia, or a definite 
dread. Anxiety, doubts, misgivings, and pessimism are 


certain and sure joy-killers. They ultimately lead to” 


indecision and moral cowardice. 
Now, fear_is an emotion,* which is associated with 
the instinct of flight, and in the case of animals and 
among primitive peoples, it undoubtedly served a valu- 
able purpose; but in the case of modern civilized peo- 
ples, fear, no longer serving its original purpose of 
protecting and preserving the species, easily becomes 
prostituted in its function so that it becomes attached 
to many sorts and kinds of experiences and feelings, 
and thus indirectly comes to play the role of a tre- 
mendous mischief-maker—comes to be highly destruc- 
tive of both health and happiness; in fact, fear, when 
long entertained, sometimes leads to apathy and 
despair. 

And it is this same sort of fear that is also found 


at the bottom of our superstitious tendencies. Fear, 


plus ignorance, spells superstition, — 
If we are going to preserve our happiness we must 
make ready to to see that f faith triumphs over fear. The 
religions of olden times were largely based on fear, 
whereas the pivotal truth of Christianity, as promul- 


gated by Jesus, was faith. By education and training 


*See Appendix for further discussion of fear and other emotions. 
13 


\ 


182 How You CAN KEEP? d4APPY 


we must overcome—we must learn »ow to curb—these 
instinctive fear tendencies. 

We must plan for a greater ind: ¢ence of our higher 
creative, imaginative—our expansive and ennobling— 
impulses. It is impossible for us to enjoy the happi- 
ness of our highly complex civilization while we are 
dominated by the instinctive fear of the primitive 
savage. 

Pessimism, we may be sure, is a little devil that will 
never fail to destroy peace-and—happiness. Most of 
our fear is fictitious; we LEGS: our difficulties and 
multiply our worries. 


No matter how faithful you may have been to all of 


the essentials of happiness, and even if you are the 
fortunate possessor of most of the luxuries of happi- 
ness—the elements of peace—if you give place in your 
mental life to fear, your doom is settled. As fear 
comes in faith-goes-out, Nici, 


‘The philosophy of Christianity is a sound one when 


it decrees that “the just shall live by faith’—that 
“without faith it is impossible to please Him.” But in 
this connection it is also cheering to recall the Divine 
promise which is given to every true-hearted human 
being: ‘‘Perfect love casteth out all fear.” 

The complexities of modern life and the refinements 
of present day civilization add enormously to the bur- 
dens of living and tremendously multiply the oppor- 
tunities for indulging in that anxiety which is certain, 
sooner or later, to culminate in fear and dread. 


IMAGINARY WORRIES 


Of course, most of our fear is fictitious. We exag- : 


7 


gerate our difficulties and multiply our fears. I think — 


Me 


n° 


ie” 


Joy KILLERS 183 


it was Thomas Jefferson who once said that most men 
spend their lives in fear of dangers that never come. 
The nervousness and fretting that result from chronic 
fear are sure and certain joy-killers. 

I once knew of a woman who was just about as 
healthy and happy a specimen of humanity as one 
could hope to find. She was about thirty-five years of 
age. She had three lovely children. One winter a 
severe and unusually fatal epidemic of scarlet fever 
prevailed, and this good woman was seized with a 
dread that her children would contract the disease, and 
the fear came to possess her that she was going to lose 
all three. 

Strange to record, not one of her three children was 
afflicted with the prevailing epidemic; but as a result of 
the extraordinary fear which had come to possess her, 
her health was undermined and she rapidly fell victim 
to a succession of fears. Within a year she was in the 
throes of a nervous breakdown, and for seven years 
led the life of a semi-invalid, her brain all the while 
swarming with fears about the health, welfare, and 
safety of herself and family. Before her reconstruc- 
tion was finally completed, under medical guidance, she 
had suffered every imaginable fear, not excluding those 
three major dreads which so many nervous people 
suffer from, namely, fear of suicide, insanity, and 
death. 

At the present time I have a patient who, through 
having an aunt die of cancer, has been reading up on 
this dread malady, and as a result of all of this she 
was not content to take ordinary precautions to see 
that neither herself nor her loved ones had any early 
symptoms of this malignant disease, but she figuratively 


184 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


now has cancer on the brain. She is a sick woman and 


unhappy, a worried and miserable soul, and her sorry 


plight is due to nothing more nor less than cancer- 
worry. She has everything in the world to make her 
happy, all of the essentials, and most of the luxuries 
of happiness, but she is sick and miserable because of 
worry—chronic fear. 

Just now I have under observation a middle aged 
woman, whose physical health heretofore has been 
almost perfect, whose happiness has been ideal, but 
through the death of a near-relative and other influ- 
ences she was led to become unduly apprehensive about 
her spiritual state, and now, as a result of religious 
worry, this woman has rapidly descended into melan- 
cholia, and today is a most unhappy and unfortunate 
creature, feeling she is hopelessly and eternally lost, 
has committed the unpardonable sin, etc., although she 
does not have a very definite idea as to what the unpar- 
donable sin is, nevertheless, fear and worry have 
ruined her health and happiness; and it is going to 
require months— more likely years—to get her 
straightened out and restored to her former normal 
state of health and happiness. 

I recently saw a man, a sane, sober, hardheaded 
business man, who has given up his business and is 
devoting all of his time to nursing a particular fear— 
an all-possessing anxiety that a cyclone is going to 
strike his town and wipe out his family. It is pitiful 
to see what the entertainment of this single fear has 
done to this splendid man. 

When these fears become deeply rooted, when they 
are long entertained, they form for themselves a cir- 
cuit of revolution in the brain—they wear a groove in 


; 


Joy KILLERS 185 


the mind that makes them almost second-nature. They 
are very hard to uproot and overcome. 

Some time ago I met a man who had been mod- 
erately successful in life, and who heretofore had been 
fairly happy and enjoyed good health. One evening 
at a party he felt he had been slighted — all but 
snubbed—by a recent acquaintance, and he set to work 
‘n his mind to brood and worry over this real or 
fancied slight. Now, it required only three months to 
turn this happy, healthy individual into a brooding, 
morose, and cringing person, an almost helpless victim 
of an inferiority complex. He rapidly came to the 
place where he believed his past life was a failure, that 
the future was hopeless, that in the presence of the : 
demands of the present he was all but helpless. Recon- 
struction was begun on this man’s mind before these 
thoughts of inferiority had become long established— 
before his inferiority complex had become long accus- 
tomed to dominating the rest of his mind; and now, in 
less than three months, we can see improvement. He 
is beginning to re-orientate himself, beginning to get 
back to normal views and reactions as to values and 
relationships, beginning to properly allocate himself in 
"his social circle and among his business associates. Un- 
_ doubtedly he is going to come out all right; but what a 
terrible thing this chap brought upon himself through 
worry—just fear. 

And I wonder how many who may chance to read 
this have fallen victim to this despicable fear—this 
inferiority delusion. It certainly is beautiful to be 
possessed of the proper humility, to be able to go 
through life and not suffer from exaggeration of ego; 
but what a hopeless situation it is to fall a victim to the 


186 How You CAN KEEP HAppy 


other extreme, to succumb to the suffering and sorrows 
of a more or less well-defined inferiority complex. 

, It is highly probable that modern optimistic propa- 
ganda has done very much to help the American people 
steer clear of these fears, obsessions, and dreads. It 
is in this field that New Thought, Christian Science, 
and some of our idealistic optimism may have served a 
valuable purpose. You know, truth is effective in spité 
of its unfortunate association with error, and so the 
basic teachings of Christian Science, namely, that there 
is no evil, that all things work together for good, and 
that fear is a sin—I say, these teachings, although they 
may be unfortunately associated with such doctrines as 
the non-existence of physical disease, etc., are neverthe- 
less effective and helpful to many fear-ridden souls. 

We certainly will do well to give ear more to the 
gospel of optimism than to the teachings of the 
pessimist. Cynics, as a rule, are possessed of a cir- 
cumscribed viewpoint; and we cannot close our eyes to 
the fact that we have in the recent past been passing 
through an era of pessimism. Much of our literature 
is tinged with pessimism, and there has been no short- 
age of the prophets of despair. While caution is 
praiseworthy, too much doubt and indecision are dan- 
gerous, and it were far better that the well-springs of 
our souls should be fed by the streams of optimism. 

I have written elsewhere* so fully on what fear can 
do to destroy health and happiness, and have cited so 
many cases, that I deem it unnecessary to give further 
consideration to this phase of the subject. 

I think in this connection, however, it might be help- 


*The Physiology of Faith and Fear, A. C. McClurg & Co. 


Joy KILLERS 187 


ful if we recall that poem of St. Clair Adams, entitled 
“Never Trouble Trouble.’’* 


“T used to hear a saying 
That had a deal of pith; 
It gave a cheerful spirit 
To face existence with, 
Especially when matters 
Seemed doomed to go askew. 
"Twas Never trouble trouble 
Till trouble troubles you. 


Not woes at hand, those coming 
Are hardest to resist; 

We hear them stalk like giants, 
We see them through a mist. 
But big things in the brewing 
Are small things in the brew; 
So never trouble trouble, 

Till trouble troubles you. 


Just look at things through glasses 
That show the evidence; 
One lens of them is courage, 
The other common sense. 
They'll make it clear, misgivings 
' Are just a bugaboo; 
No more you'll trouble trouble 
Till trouble troubles you.” 


Now, worry never yet solved a single problem—all 
it does is to fill the mind with fear and foreboding; and 


*Published by Geo. Sully & Co., New York. 


188 How You CAN KEEP Happy 


undermine our general’health. Action is the foe of 

“fear and its close comrades—worry, anxiety, and doubt. 
So, call the bluff of all these torments, get them out in 
the open and meet them face to face. Instead of 
giants, you'll find you have been dreading imaginary 
enemies and mere pygmies. 


4. DEBT—EXTRAVAGANCE 


We must remember that the harvest of want always 
follows the sowing of waste. ‘The hoarding instinct,* 
when over-indulged and allowed to become inordinate, 
often leads to remorse and sorrow. Perhaps it is over- 
ambition as well as lack of good judgment that serves 
to make so much trouble for so many persons in that it 
leads them to become involved in debt, and debt, in the 
majority of cases, means worry, anxiety,.and_unhappi- 


La AECSS 


Without doubt, people who manage to live within 
their incomes, and who put something aside, stand a 
better chance of happiness as compared with those who 
are constantly harassed-by-debts-and payments over- 
due. ole 
Now there are different sorts of debts and individ. 
uals react differently to them. Some men are in debt 
legitimately and for a good purpose; they are able to 
pay the interest on their obligations and are gradually 
reducing the principal, and they are not disposed to 
worry about such debts. Other persons of an appre- 
hensive nature seem to be upset when they are in debt 
for any cause. ‘There can be little doubt that one’s — 


% 


*See Appendix for a fuller discussion of human instincts and emo- ¥ 
tions. f 
# 
"J 


n 


JoY KILLERS 189 


judgment, philosophy, and mental control can have a 
great deal to do with the manner in which they react 
to debt, but however this may be, debts which accrue 
as the result of extravagance usually spell trouble un- 
less it be in the case of those who are possessed of 
almost unlimited wealth. When ordinary folks indulge— 
in extravagance and thereby get in debt, they are 
usually subsequently called to suffer as the result of 
thar fooNshneseo 

I am thinking of a young manufacturer who had 
prospered beyond his most sanguine expectations. His 
prosperity went to his head, his success unbalanced his 
judgment, and he borrowed heavily to build new fac- 
tories, to increase his output. In the presence of all 
this a slump came. His sales diminished suddenly and 
he has been for two or three years on the verge of 
collapse as the result of his worry, trying to meet 
obligations, borrowing from Peter to pay Paul. While 
he will probably pull the enterprise through, how many 
times I have heard him say: “If I had only been 
satisfied to grow gradually, to develop slowly, how 
much better it would have been.’ And so it would, 
but pride and over-ambition all but proved his undoing. 

How many of us common folks are constantly living 
just a little bit beyond our income. We are continually 
harassed by over-due obligations. How many poor 
folks have been deluded by the installment plan into 
assuming monthly payments almost beyond their gross 
income. How few ordinary folks keep strict account 
of their expenditures and conduct their household 
affairs on the budget plan. How little system and 
method are used in our household and personal finan- 
cial transactions, and so, because of carelessness and 


190 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


lack of method in these matters, we are constantly 
getting into the financial waters up to our chins, some- 
times we are in over our heads. All this sort of thing 
broods worry and breeds anxiety. It is a sure and 


certain joy-killer. It is very difficult to be happy when - 


one is constantly harassed by creditors. 

Just the other day I saw a man who has been ruined 
by debt. Unfortunate investments, unwise business 
ventures, caused him to be deeply involved. He was 
too honorable to go into bankruptcy, and he has 
struggled for twelve years to pay his debts and he is 
doing it, but it has ruined his health, spoiled his dis- 
position, and has all but cost his life. Now, of course, 
I recognize that misfortunes like this are bound to over- 
take us in spite of ourselves. They are like sickness in 
the family or some other natural calamity like floods 
and tornadoes. 

We can’t escape the vicissitudes attendant upon 
living, but we can in every way possible use good judg- 
ment to avoid extravagance that would involve us in 
debt and unwise business ventures which would for 
years saddle us with vexatious obligations. 

I am thinking now of a brilliant young couple who 
partly through their own bad judgment and partly 
from conspiracy of circumstances, became heavily in- 
volved in debt soon after their mariage. Now I hap- 
pen to know, in this case, that they would have enjoyed — 


raising a normal sized family,. at least four or five iN 


children; but they have gone on for a dozen years with 


only one child for no other reason than that they were , 


oppressed by debt. They just couldn’t see their way 
clear to assume the added obligations of an increased © 


family when they were driven almost to distraction 


Joy KILLERS 191 


trying to liquidate their obligations. What a pity that 
the world should be deprived of the offspring of this 
splendid couple just because they were so financially 
oppressed. 

But why need I cite cases by way of illustration when 
the reader may have had some personal experience of 
his own in these matters, and when he sees all about 
among his friends and associates, scores of honest souls 
_who are sick and oppressed, all but wrecked and ruined 
by this master tyrant—this slave-driver—debt. You 
know the old saying, ‘“The borrower is servant to the 
lender,” and while we cannot lose sight of the fact that 
it is the wisest possible course sometimes to go in debt, 
even heavily in debt, that sometimes the quickest way 
out of debt is to borrow more money, to go farther in; 
while this is true under some circumstances, neverthe- 
less it should be the object and aim of the average 
person, as far as possible, to remain out of debt. 

There is more happiness in store for those who can 
avoid the anxieties and harassments that are always 
more or less the lot of the debtor. 

Of course, extravagance is not altogether limited to 
the waste of money. There is such a thing as mis- 
spending our opportunities, over-indulging our appe- \ 
tites, and otherwise wasting our energies in riotous 
living. The misuse of our opportunities, the failure to 
control our luxuries, is often the first step to unhappi- 
ness and sorrow. 

The spendthrift, like the miser, is seldom really 
happy. The intelligent, wise, and thoughtful use of 
our material means and personal resources is essential 
to our future security, to our ability to be happy and 
contented. 


192 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


Debt, we must remember, is a mortgage on one’s 
future. It makes it impossible for us to be free to do 
as we please and function in accordance with our 
desires. 

And we must remember that debt is often at the 
bottom of much of our intemperance, poverty, and 
even suicide; while some people may be in debt as the 
result of drink and debauchery, I am more inclined to 
the belief that it is the debt, the discouragement and 
hopelessness of financial involvement that drives so 
many otherwise fairly normal individuals to drink and 
other forms of reckless dissipation. | 

If the young man starting out in business would only 
remember that we seldom meet with failure when we 
conduct our affairs on the plan of “‘pay as you go!” 
True, we have an occasional genius who sort of peers 
into the future and can tell which way things are going 
to turn and he borrows money and is not only able to 
pay the interest, to discharge his obligation, but also 
makes a speculative fortune for himself. But for every 
one who wins, there are a thousand wrecked careers 
and ruined individuals to bear eloquent testimony to 
the folly, as a general rule, of trying to get something 
for nothing. | 

Social ambitions often lead to over-pretentious ex-— 
pansion and debt and then eventually to disaster and 
all this means the flight of joy, the loss of the happiness 
that would have attended a more simple, sane, and 
unpretentious mode of living. 

How foolish to go in debt for clothes, jewelry, and 
other sorts of finery. How silly to mortgage one’s” 
future for the sake of transient contributions to one’s” 
vanity. | 


JoY KILLERS 193 


We must semember that debt shackles the creative 
imagination aiid enslaves the constructive capacities of 
the mind. If we could keep ourselves free from these 
obligations, we could do better work, and some day we 
are going to more fully appreciate that happiness is 
more to be found in the paths of simple living, that we 
will get more joy out of life when we learn to limit and 
curtail our wants. Someone has said that when we 
halve our wants we quadruple our wealth, and I would 
say that we thereby multiply our happiness a hundred- 
fold. 

As the doctor scrutinizes the patients that come to 
him from time to time, many of whom have been happy 
heretofore, he finds that next to sickness, debt is one 
of the chief causes of those worries and anxieties 
which have banished joy and effectually destroyed 
happiness. 


§. SELFISHNESS—EXALTED EGo 


If you are enjoying happiness, if you are having a 
real good time with yourself and the world, and you 
want to start down on a swift and sure toboggan to 


that you are going to devote your time and energies to 


enjoying life. If you want to lose happiness quickly, / 


simply turn a selfish back on the rest of the world, ~ 


begin to be introspective, “‘listen in” on your own feel- 
ings and emotions, indulge in self-pity, and ere long, 
joy will be absent’from your life. =————(i‘:~CS 
elf-distinction, if it comes to you unsought and 
unbidden, may become a legitimate source of satisfac- 
tion, but if it is of the sort that is preceded by big- 


194 How You CAN KEEP HAppy 


headedness and self-seeking, it will prove a decided | 


disappointment in the end. Selfishness is nothing more 
nor less than a simple failure to love your neighbor as 
you love yourself. Sooner or later, that rank selfish- 
ness which ignores our obligations to our fellow men 
and our higher obligation to a Supreme Being—I say, 
this sort of selfishness which is blind alike to.ethics and 


religion, often serves to lead its “unhappy. victims into: 


paths of sensuality, vice, and “drugs. 

The selfish soul can never be truly and lastingly 
happy. In fact it seems that selfishness is a thing that 
determines, or rather limits, our happiness capacity. 
One’s capacity for joy is in an inverse ratio to his 
capacity for selfishness. It seems to be psychologically 
impossible for a thoroughly selfish mortal to be su- 
premely happy. 

I could fill the pages of this book with the stories of 
men and women, young and old, who have been more 
or less happy but who have become self-centered— 
selfish—and who straightway found the joy of living 
slowly leaking out of their lives, and ultimately they 
found themselves most miserable and unhappy. Not 
long ago I was in conference with one of these unfor- 


tunate and unhappy individuals, a middle-aged woman, 


who, when about to leave the office, said, ‘‘Yes, Doctor, 
I know I am very sensitive. I just can’t help it.” To 
which I replied: “Indeed, Madam, I have observed 
that you are very selfish.” “But,” she was quick to 
reply, “I said, Doctor, I was sensitive.’’ And I made 
bold to further reply, “Indeed, Madam, you said sensi- 
tive, but I said selfish, and I mean it.” 

Of course, she was offended, left the office in a 
somewhat peevish state of mind, to say the least, but 


Joy KILLERS 195 


in two weeks she returned. Said she had thought it all 
over, that my remark had shocked her to the realiza- 
tion of how selfish she had become, how self-centered 
she had grown. She thanked me for her rude awaken- 
ing, and she has earnestly taken up the task of liberal- 
izing her ideas and broadening her emotions, of 
expanding her views of life as it is lived on this planet. 

Subsequently she came back to me and we made out a 
definite list of things which she is going to take up in an 
effort to escape from this blight of selfishness. Among 
the tasks before her are the following: She is going to 
cease talking about herself in the family circle; she is 
going to stop her incessant whining and complaining. 
She is going to write down everything of this nature 
_which may run through her mind and bring it to the 
doctor. She is going to make certain that at least half 
the time she joins the rest of the family in what they 
want to do to have a good time; that she will not make 
the entire family circle bend around her likes and dis- 
likes. She has decided gradually to abandon the special 
dishes and other sorts of health viands and knick- 
_knacks which had to be prepared for her delicate 
- stomach, but really to gratify her pampered taste. Her 
_ husband, every now and then, likes a dish of corned 
_ beef and cabbage, and she has promised that she will 
eat it. In fact, she is eating it—but I had to assure her 
that it would not kill her. She thought her stomach 
was so delicate, her digestion so impaired, that it could 
not stand such hearty food, but she has found that she 
can eat most anything that any living animal can 
consume. | 

She has further promised that since her husband 
long since learned to play bridge to please her, she 


196 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


will learn to play checkers and play it heartily to please — 
her husband. He is a checker fiend. Now the su- | 


preme test is coming this summer. ‘They have a group 
of children from ten to twenty years of age, and they, 
as well as their father, like to go camping. Never in 
her life would she join them in any of these outings. 
On several occasions they have gone without her. She 
has gone to some well-ordered resort hotel while the 


rest of the family roughed it. I am going to insist this — 
summer that she go with the family and enjoy a little 


of life in the open. I believe she will do it, since she 
has already derived so much happiness and pleasure 
from her efforts to master this sordid and blighting 
selfishness. 

I remember so well the case of a happy, cheerful 
sort of soul, who had a long and serious illness, and as 
a result of the nursing and other care and solicitous 
ministering she received during this long sojourn upon 
the sick-bed—I say, in consequence of this, she seems 
to have become self-centered. There is no doubt in 
my mind but that she is well; she has fully recovered; 
has been in good health for years; but she continues to 
mosey around under a cloud, always looking for some- 
one to wait upon her, to amuse and entertain her, 
expecting always to have her will reign and the entire 
family circle regulate itself and conduct itself in accord- 
ance with her whims; and in behaving thus she is not 
only ruining her own happiness but she is taking the 


joy of living and the pride of personality away from , 


the rest of the family. 

Here is a case that could be helped if she would only 
submit to discipline, but you know when a physician 
comes to problems of this sort he is often reminded of 


pai 


Joy KILLERS 197 


the old proverb—“You can lead a horse to water, but 
you can’t make him drink.” 

But let me tell you about the redemption of a selfish 
soul. It was twenty years ago that I first knew this 
woman, so light hearted, cheerful, and happy. Such a 
ministering angel in her neighborhood, such an inspira- 
tion to the young people of the community; but she 
grew old prematurely, that is, she quit playing, began 
to take life seriously. Then her husband suddenly 
accumulated a large amount of money and she became 
aristocratic, sort of snobbish, more or less “stuck up,” 
and then she got sick. In fact, she had a series of 
afflictions, some of which were quite severe. 

Well, to make a long story short, as a result of all 
this when she was about forty years of age she had 
become very sour and sordid—she was cheerless and 
forbidding. Now I had, in general, a fair knowledge 
of her life up to this time, the time that she came 
under my immediate supervision. She was only mildly 
interested in getting well; said she never expected to 
be happy again. Something was wrong with her blood 
or her mind, or she thought perhaps from what she 
had been reading that her ductless glands were all 
askew. 

A careful study of this case revealed nothing that 
would militate against her being healthy and happy, 
and so finally she was induced, after considerable pres- 
sure had been brought to bear by her husband—l say, 
she was persuaded to begin the fight and as the struggle 
went on she developed more of an interest, but it 
required about two years to straighten things out. She 
- first began to take more of an interest in her home, to 
immediately supervise the housework. She got back 

1 


a 


98 How You CAN KEEP HAPpy 


into doing the shopping, not only buying the household: 
supplies, but the children’s clothes, and in this way, 
little by little, she restored her activities of former 
years. 

We persuaded her to make regular calls on the 
neighbors and to have receiving hours one day each 
week. She went back into club and church activities, 
She began to take occasional trips with her husband, 
that is, accompanying him on his out of town business 
journeys. One or two of the younger children were 
still in the public schools and she was induced to join 
the Parent-Teacher Association and became very active 
in its work. By this time, with all the burdens she had 
assumed, she was quite a busy woman, but there was 
time for one thing more—she enlisted her energies in 
an enterprise to aid crippled children, and it was indeed 
an interesting thing to observe, to watch the return of 
this woman’s joy and happiness, to see that even when 
you have lost it you can get it back if you cease to do 
the things that rob us of joy, and begin to do those that 
are essential to happiness; you can come back. 

It is possible to escape the miseries of the isolation, 
the barrenness that is the part, and the only part, of 
every man and woman who is foolish enough to live a 
selfish life. 

Of course, we have to be practical, make a living for 
ourselves and our families. We can’t perhaps be 
altruistic in the most ideal sense, but we can all of us 
be big-hearted and broad-minded, we can be kind and 
fair. Yes, we can be charitable; and we not only can 
be unselfish in the sense that we recognize the rights 
and privileges of the other members of our families 
and of our immediate circles of friends and acquaint- 


Joy KILLERS 199 


ances, but we can also have hearts big enough for some 
sort of feeling and sympathy for the rest of the com- 
munity, for the state and nation. It does us good to 
try now and then to have a fellow-feeling for the whole 
world. 

And so, if you are happy, if you are filled with joy, 
if life is beautiful and living a transcendent experience, 
if you want to lose it all quickly, if you want to get 
down into the depths of despair by the shortest known 
route, just make up your mind that humanity is un- 
grateful, that this is a cold and unsympathetic world, 
that it doesn’t pay to be interested in other people, that 

from now on you are going to look out for number one, 
and I promise you that you will arrive at your destina- 
tion of misery and despair almost before you start. 

Service, unselfish service, is the forerunner of joy; 
while selfishness is the certain and sure path to un- 
happiness. 


6. SUSPICION—INTOLERANCE 


Suspicion is a psychic poison. It leads so many 
times to those cruel and heartless decisions which 
culminate in inhuman conduct; and when we have been , 
suspicious of anybody for a sufficient length of time, | 
we become intolerant, and intolerance does not have to \. 
be long entertained until we begin to think about re- fo 
-venge. After all, I suppose that back of a lot of our \, 
suspicion is a sort of covetousness. Sometimes our " 
intolerance results from our failure to be fair, and 
along with suspicion, of course, come its twin sister 
jealousy, and its second cousins, envy, scorn and con” 
Pept. ‘ STE TT Nee eC Wah LASTER AE ANIC 


*All of these emotions are more fully discussed in the Appendix. 


200 How You CAN KEEP HAppy 


We must remember that many of our bad feelings: 
and emotions, our sorrow-producing mental reactions, 
are nothing more nor less than the natural weeds that 
grow in the garden of human experience; the fruit of 
their growth is shown in the harvest of sorrow, the 
reaping of unhappines, which inevitably follows our 
neglect to uproot these emotional plants which are so 
luxuriant and rapid in their growth when they once are 
allowed to take root in the intellectual life. 

These are the joy-killing sentiments and emotions 
which must be opposed by the cultivation and discipline 
of our minds, by the conscious and determined effort to 
increase our self-control. 

Suspicion is the evil genius of many a wrecked happi- 
ness, and as we journey on through this so-called “‘vale 
of tears’ we must keep our eyes open and our minds 
alert that we may discern all of the facts, that we may 
not become_prejudiced_against our best friends, that we 
will not come_to-distrust our loved ones. I have known 
somé people who are so suspicious of even their very 
best friends that I have sometimes wondered if they 
were able, deep down in their hearts, even to trust the 
Almighty. If you want to make certain to lose all of 
your friends, just start to suspect them one by one. 
mand, OF: course, suspicion leads many times without 
just. causé..to~ jealousy. How many persons have 
‘wrecked their joy and happiness on this treacherous 
rock! Jealousy is the graveyard of joy; it is the cancer 
that eats out the finest soul, and will, if long enter- 
tained, destroy the truest love. 

And along with this state of mind, we must recognize 
envy, the emotion that makes us heart-sick because we 
don’t have more of those things which we erroneously 


Joy KILLERS 201 


believe will contribute to our happiness. Envy spoils 
the joy of living and it could all be avoided if we would 
only remember that happiness consists in our own 
capacity therefor, and not in the abundance of things 
possessed. 

Suspicion and intolerance always travel together. 


How many times we see people making themselves © 
supremely unhappy just because they are not willing to \ 


tolerate in others the very liberty they so dearly crave 
for themselves. 

How much liberty and charity we demand for our- 
selves, but how little we are willing to grant others! 
How unhappy we get sometimes just because we can’t 
make other people see things as we do and compel 
them to regulate their conduct in accordance with our 
own beliefs. ? 

Now what are we going to do with this little devil 
of suspicion when it comes around whispering in our 
ears? Are we going to cultivate a sort of blind 
_ optimism, a “go with them and die” spirit that refuses 
to doubt our friends and associates? No, we are 
justified in being reasonable, in looking the facts 
squarely in the face, but we are not always justified in 
giving an ear to idle gossip and other sorts of malicious 
whispering. There is too much of this thing in .the 
world today and too many friendships are wrecked by 
unwarranted suspicion. 

If one finds their joy and happiness being jeop- 
ardized by the insinuations of ‘this demon of suspicion, 
what can he do about it? Suppose, you will ask: “I 
have done my best to overcome this thing; I recognize 
it is groundless, yet I keep on suspecting someone of 
being guilty of things of which I, in my sober judg- 


202 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


ment, have every reason to believe they are innocent. 
What shall I do about it?” I will tell you: there are 
just three things for you to do. /First, in your own 
mind ignore it; refuse to accept it as your mental off- 
spring. ‘Second, turn around and laugh in its face, 
really laugh at it, ridicule it; and then third, refuse to 
allow your mind or body to react to the suggestion. 
Do nothing to put it into practice, do nothing that 
would in any way testify that you really believed in, or 
that you were seriously impressed by, the suggestion. 
If you follow those three rules, you will ere long suc- 
ceed in banishing your suspicion. 

The reason suspicion clings so tenaciously to your 
soul when you really wish to be rid of it is that you 


may have an hereditary tendency to it, and then you 


may have been practicing it, cultivating it for some 
time, and still further, you may be in an unfortunate 
environment, in a place where your very surroundings 
suggest it. 


Of course, we must remember that sometimes people _ 


are really guilty of things which would arouse our 
suspicion. Suspicion is not always groundless, but even 
when we find a basis for suspecting someone, let us not 
allow that to be used in our minds as an excuse for 
suspecting all the rest of our friends of misdemeanors. 
Examine and analyze your suspicions before you in- 
dulge them too freely and fully. 

We must remember in dealing with all these faults, 


that our success is dependent not only on the heartiness _ 


and completeness of our decisions, but that it is also 
helped by the number of decisions; the more frequently 


we think this through, the more often we talk to our- 


selves about it, the more quickly and certainly we will 


: 
: 


Joy KILLERS 203 


overcome it and be delivered from its nefarious 
influences. 


‘HOW TO HANDLE SUSPICION 


We must use reason and judgment in handling these 
psychic demons, we should rehearse in advance how 
we will meet the next suggestion to suspect our friends 
or to be jealous of our loved one, and then when the 
time comes, if we have repeatedly rehearsed with 
sufficient earnestness, we will be able to react in the 
desired manner, and if we keep this fight up, we are 
sure to win; ultimately we are bound to get the victory. 

There is no royal road to success in dealing with 
these joy-killers. If your suspicions are constantly 
coming back in the mind there is no formula that will 
always afford deliverance. One thing you can do when 
you find they are there again, is just to say: “Why, 
how do you do? I see you are back. You are very 
unwelcome here. I am very sorry to see you. You 
know exactly how I feel about this matter. I trust you 
will go away one of these days never to return. 
Good-bye.” 

It is the steady, settled, rehearsed, sincerely accepted 
formula of this sort that, if it is earnestly acted upon 
every time suspicion bobs up—I say, it is this sort of 
mental attitude that ultimately affords complete de- 
liverance. 

Now we must not overlook the fact that memory 
ghosts can parade in the mind; that when we have 
really overcome suspicion some association of ideas 
may some time bring up the memory ghost in its full 
regalia, to oppress and frighten the mind; but we 
should recognize these experiences for what they are 


204 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


and take them humorously instead of so seriously. We 
must maintain a monotonous, steadfast reaction against 
them, and when these harmful suggestions find they 
can no longer engage the attention or intrigue the mind, 
they will soon cease to come. 

It is this unvarying and monotonous reaction that 
makes the mind so unattractive and so inhospitable 
that they cease to return, and then in time, they become 
buried under the accumulation of new experiences. 

Aside from sickness and debts, I know of nothing 
that leads more people into unhappiness than suspicion 
and intolerance. How many times we see in a few 
short months a happy soul robbed of joy and made 
miserable by this little demon of suspicion; while it is 
a wonderfully humanizing influence to cultivate more 
and more of the attitude of tolerance. 

The havoc that can be wrought by jealousy is well- 
known to every reader, we all know of instances where 
useful careers, joyous lives, and happy families have 
been ruined by suspicion and jealousy. 

Not long ago I ran across a very sad case, the wreck- 
ing of a beautiful home by suspicion. For more than 
twenty years this couple had lived together happily, 
when a very dear friend of the wife came along one 
day with a little bit of gossip, which seemed to be only 
amusing at the time; but later this woman began to 
turn it over in her mind, and in less than a year the 
happiness of the home was wrecked. Two broken- 
hearted souls and three homeless children were left in 
the wake of this emotional cyclone. 

This suspicion tornado wreaked complete destruc- 
tion in the peaceful and happy home. And the sad — 
part of it is the fact that this good but misguided — 


Joy KILLERS 205 


woman has since come to recognize that the whole 
affair was a figment of her own imagination, that there 
existed no real ground for her distrust and suspicion. 
But it is too late now—the mischief has been done; 
probably can never be undone. The beautiful struc- 
ture of love and devotion has been ruthlessly de- 
stroyed, an ideal home has been annihilated, and the 
happiness of a whole family has be\n blotted out. 

In this connection, I ought to tell another story, the 
story of a man who had come to be so suspicious of the 
motives and intentions of his older brother and business 
associate. [his state of mind had gone so far as to 
bring on insomnia, indigestion, etc., and that is how he 
came to consult a physician. In probing into the mental 
state of the patient, these doubts and suspicions were 
found. ‘They seemed on the surface to be more or less 
unreasonable, and so we suggested a careful investiga- 
tion, a fair examination of all the facts in the case. 
Now, it required less than six weeks to clean this whole 
matter up, to lead this man to convince himself that 
his suspicions were groundless, but it has taken over a 
year to soften his heart and mellow his mind, and get 
him back to where he has a feeling of affection and love 
_ for his older brother. 

Suspicion is a dangerous poison, it is a damnable 
virus, and when it once enters the human veins you 
have to inject a sane and powerful antitoxin of level 
headed truth and common sense viewpoints if you ever 
expect to cure yourself of this inhuman malady. 

I am thinking of a splendid woman, once so happy 
and carefree, so useful and efficient, who, accidentally 
running across a suggestive bit of circumstantial evi- 
dence, began to suspect her husband. This was about 


206 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


four years ago, and ever since that day her life has 
been ruined. We tried to disprove her suspicion and — 
show it was groundless, but our efforts to help her 
were fruitless—the poisonous thing had bitten her and 
the awful virus lingers in her veins. 

More recently she has admitted frankly and repeat- 
edly that her fears are groundless, that there is nothing 
real to substantiate her suspicion, and yet she goes on— 
a sick woman, tortured, suffering—unhappy over this 
wicked idea that took root in her mind four years ago. 
What a pity that she ever entertained it. How unfair 
she was to her husband to nurse this suspicion for 
months without giving him a chance to explain, as he 
easily could have done had she given him an oppor- 
tunity; but by the time the explanation was forth- 
coming, her mind was hopelessly saturated with sus- 
picion, steeped in jealousy. 

It simply doesn’t pay to cultivate this sort of thing. 
We have to be—especially those souls who are nat: 
urally suspicious and envious—I say, we have to be on | 
guard against these evil insinuations. Suspicion is 2 
prompt and effective joy-killer and if it is once allowed 
to put its nose into the tent of our lives it will crowd — 
in and fill the whole structure with its huge and ugly 
form. 

Perhaps I should tell you about how I helped a very 
suspicious individual not long since. He was not only 
suspicious but intolerant, not to say unkind. He had 
mistaken rudeness for frankness and frequently in- 
dulged it much to the hurt and embarrassment of his 
friends and loved ones. I turned the searchlight on. 
this man and step by step ferreted out more things to” 
arouse suspicion and more faults to criticize in himself 


Joy KILLERS 207 


than he could possibly find in the other members of his 
family. At the risk of offending him, I hammered him 
hard with these things, rubbed them in, drove them 
home, and I finally made him admit that his wife, if 
she had a mind to, had more reason for being jealous 
of him than he had of her, and it really helped him. 

Sometimes about the only way we can be cured of 
our petty jealousies and our nagging intolerance of 
other people is to go under the dissecting knife our- 
selves, to have a clear, bright light turned on our own 
inner souls, and then if we have a wise physician, or a 
kind friend who will be truly frank and honest with 
us, sometimes we may be able to see the beam in our 
own eye while we are trying to pick the mote out of our 
brother’s. 

You know there is real happiness in exercising 
charity, in trying to be kind, in really being big-hearted. 
There is satisfaction in tolerance, there is a broadening 
of the mind and an enlarging of the soul every time we 
whip ourselves into line, every time we overcome these 
petty bickerings of the mind, and compel ourselves to 
be really big and human in our regard of other people. 

How often we make ourselves miserable, longing 
for something we do not possess. How unhappy we 
can be when we allow our wants to multiply and find 
ourselves unable fully to gratify them. I recently took 
a very unhappy and discontented individual; had him 
count his many blessings, led him to see that he had 
most of the essentials of happiness and many of the 
luxuries. I persuaded him to reduce his wants, to 
budget his ambitions and aspirations, and to make a 
plan whereby he could live, as it were, within the 
possibilities of his happiness income. 


208 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


You know, it seems that with some persons, no 
matter how much they have to make them happy, their 
wants and ambitions are always a trifle ahead of their 
‘ncomes. That is, they have formed the habit of being 
unhappy and no matter what they get to make them 
happy, they succeed in pushing out the frontier of their 
wants sufficiently far to keep themselves in an unsatis- 
fied and unhappy state of mind. 

If we could just learn to enjoy anticipation for a 
while, some of the things that we are so fussy about 
would come as the result of our continued efforts. 
Withal, we must cultivate patience, not expect the im- 
possible, and discipline ourselves to be reasonably 
~ content with our endowments. We must learn that 
while success may be the ability to get what we want, 
happiness is the ability to want what we have. 


7. IDLENESS—-LONELINESS 


Idleness is a sure-fire joy-killer. A) reasonable 
amount of leisure is a wonderful happiness promoter, - 
but idleness and indolence are fatal to joyful living. 
Idleness may be the badge of wealth and it may signify 
that one has both time and the means to pursue happi- 
ness, but such persons usually spend their time in the- 
pursuit of mere pleasure. They seldom take the pains, 
they rarely have the patience, to sow the seeds of real 
happiness; they had rather plunge headlong in quest of | 
thrills. They consume their time and energy in pursuit 


y 


of transient and disappointing pleasures which can be 


purchased with wealth, while they entirely miss the 
more real and deeper experience of a true and happy | 
life of genuine satisfaction and achievement. Real — 
happiness is not for sale. a 


Joy KILLERS 209 


Of course, idleness becomes attractive to the younger 
generation because it is supposed to indicate independ- 
ence and is associated with the notion that those who 
are free from toil belong to the so-called superior or 
aristocratic classes; but it is one of the mistakes of the 
well-to-do of this generation that they allow their 
children to grow up in comparative idleness. 

Idleness is also sometimes accompanied by loneli- 
ness. Not all idle persons are engaged in a mad chase 
for pleasure; some well-meaning souls seek to enjoy 
solitude, but in general they are doomed to meet with 
disappointment. Loneliness is incompatible with happi- 
ness. Man is a social being; he is by nature a herd 
animal, and he has most joy when he is in intimate 
association with his fellows. 

Loneliness too often is accompanied by loss of incen- 
tive and ere long, this is likely to degenerate into pure 
and simple laziness, resulting eventually in a loss of 
interest in life itself. Idleness and loneliness too often 
end in ennui. 

It is all right that we should have a feeling of 
humility, and that we should not be immune to a feeling 
of self-abasement; it is all right that we should suffer 
reproach when we have done something to be ashamed 
of; but that does not mean that we should subject our- 
selves to the punishment of solitary isolation. We 
should repent our misdeeds, be sorry for our short- 

comings, and then go forth in society to hold up our 
heads in normal fashion and enjoy the pleasures of 
association with our fellows. 

There is always an unnatural uneasiness, a hurtful 
and harmful loneliness, that follows in the wake of 
every form of idleness. Only useful and inspiring 


210 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


work can save us from the influence of this powerful 
and certain joy-killer—idleness. 

A few years ago I knew a very happy, cheerful, and 
healthy woman, a business woman in her early thirties, 
a most attractive, congenial sort of soul was she, enjoy- 
ing a host of friends and altogether happy and success- 
ful in her life work. Upon the death of a wealthy 
aunt she inherited a considerable sum of money and 
strange to say the possession of this wealth, with its 
opportunity for leisure, had the effect of destroying her 
business ambitions. She gave up her commercial con- 
nections and while all went well for a year or so, and 
she seemed to really enjoy the change and rest, pres- 
ently she began to fail physically. She became nervous; 
commenced to complain of numerous physical ailments, 
grew restless and discontented, and withal, was ex- 
tremely unhappy. 

Careful study of this case showed that it was idle- 
ness, plus loneliness, that was causing her troubles, for 
it was not until after years of doctoring, visiting health 
institutions, and all that sort of thing, that this woman 
was persuaded to return to her former activities in the 
business world, and within a year she was not only 
improved healthwise, but once more she began to ap- 
proach that state of happiness, that feeling of well- 
being which she had enjoyed in years gone by, before 
the days of her indolence and wealth. .. 

Recently I met a man whose work was changed from” 
a position in which he was closely and intimately asso- 
ciated with a large number of his business associates to 
an isolated position in the West where he was very 
lonely—being an unmarried man and one who was 
slow to make friends. It required only a year and a 


Joy KILLERS Osler 


half of this isolation, this loneliness, to really break 
down his health. Now he is a nervous dyspeptic and 
suffers from insomnia, constipation, and a host of other 
minor ills. We have advised him to get back into the 
crowd and we believe that within a year he will be a 
well man. There seems to be no other explanation for 
his present trouble aside from comparative loneliness. 

I have in mind the case of a young man, a member 
of a wealthy family who,confesses to me his disgust 
with life, who frankly tells me how unhappy he is. He 
tries to keep cheerful and appear to be enjoying him- 
self with his friends as they go through the senseless 
round of social pleasures, of parties, teas, receptions, 
with their mad jazz chasing, and now he is prodding 
his brain and nerves with drugs in an effort to seem 
more vivacious and witty in his social life. Already 
his physical constitution begins to show the effect of 
this unnatural mode of living, and not very far ahead 
there awaits him a first class nervous breakdown. He 
1s young, unmarried, bright and intelligent, but already 
more or less of a nervous wreck, with a constitution 
undermined in his youth. What a spectacle, and what 
is responsible? Nothing more nor less than idleness. 

If these wealthy youths were taught to work, were 
early inured to reasonable hardship, forced to subject 
themselves to discipline and the bearing of a moderate 
amount of responsibility, this whole picture would be 
different. 

Then here is a happy lad—I remember so well when 


he finished high school, but he didn’t take to college 


and dropped out of it when he failed in the first ex- 


_ aminations of the first year. His parents permitted 


. 


him to plunge into this mad whirl of pleasure chasing 


212 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


which usually comes to be the part of those who have 
both time and money. Idleness is bad, in and of itself, 
but when it is complicated with wealth, it becomes the 
supreme curse of youth. 

Let me tell you about one of the happiest married 
women I ever knew, who raised a family of four chil- 
dren. They were people of moderate means and she 
had sufficient help about the home to enable her to 
keep busy as a home-maker, and to be a real wife and 
mother; she was a useful citizen, as she always did 
a certain amount of club work, and was interested in 
the welfare of her neighborhood and community. But 
the children grew up and three of them married, and 
the fourth went West on a business venture. Of course, 
this woman was lonely, not only that, but with in-— 
creased business prosperity, her husband surrounded 
her with more and more help; there were servants 
aplenty. She had never gone in for society, and her 
loneliness soon turned out to be downright idleness. 
She had nothing to do and presently, as is always the 
case in these circumstances, she began to ail and sought 
the advice and counsel of a physician. 


A CAUSE OF INTROSPECTION 


You know when you have nothing else to do, espe- 
cially if you are at all of an introspective and neurotic 
type—you can always think about yourself; and you 
don’t have to think very long about your vital organs, 
you don’t have to “spy on yourself,” or “listen in’ on 
your vital mechanism very long, until you will begin to 
have enough unpleasant sensations and bad feelings to 
lead you to consult a physician. Sometimes you are 
able to put up a sufficient bluff at being ill to really 


Joy KILLERS 2415 


fool the doctor for awhile, so that he may be caught 
unaware and give you treatment or medicine of some 
sort, and then you have a scientific background for 
your ailment. You are initiated into the ancient and 
honorable order of chronic ailers, whiners, and com- 
plainers, and of course, having plenty of time and 
money you turn out to be what physicians in the old 
days used to give as a toast. When the doctors of a 
former generation met they would lift their wine 
glasses and say—‘‘Here’s to woman, lovely woman, 
God’s best gift to man and the chief support of the 
doctors.” 

I believe we have a generation of doctors coming 
on the stage at the present time who are beginning to 
understand the human mind and nervous system to 
such an extent that they are saving many of these 
nervous women, and men too—for they get nervous 
the same as women do—I say, I believe the doctors of 
today are trying to save these self-centered, introspec- 
tive souls from themselves. We are trying to put 
them to work and deliver them from the misery and 
unhappiness of so much association with themselves. 

But back to this woman whose children had left— 
it had to be put up to her to take up some useful, 
worth-while work or to adopt some children. She de- 
cided that as she had raised one family she would let 
the younger women care for the orphans, and so she 
took over one of the many business enterprises her 
husband owned or controlled. I never saw such a 
change in a human being within six months. She spent 
between six and seven hours a day managing this 
business, took full and complete charge of it; used her 


own judgment in practically every case, only in major 
15 


214 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


matters did she ever consult her husband. While she 
made a few blunders at the start, she quickly showed 
herself fully capable of directing this enterprise, and 
has made a great success of it. She is very proud of it. 

She has regained her health. She is once more the 
buoyant, joyful, cheerful being of former years, and 
her experience serves as a solemn warning that idle- 
ness is invariably a joy-killer, and that pleasurable 
employment never fails to bring back our lost happi- 
ness. 

And so we could go on at great length citing cases 


and telling stories of how idleness invariably kills joy 


and destroys happiness. If you are happy and want to 
continue to enjoy life, keep busy. As your fortune 
grows and your age advances, there is no reason why 
you should not modify your work, there is no reason 
why you should keep up the pace of those ae when 
you were goaded by poverty. 


If fortune smiles on you, there is no reason why 


you should not slacken your pace and enjoy some of 


the wealth you have accumulated. You are entitled to. 


the essentials of happiness, and if you have earned 


them, why should you not enjoy some of the luxuries 
of joyful living; but don’t make the mistake of retiring. 
Don’t give up your work. Don’t begin a life of idle- 


ness, for if you do, joy will soon depart and unhappi- 


ness will be your certain lot; and so, once more, let us 


emphasize the fact that idleness and loneliness are sure — 


and certain joy-killers. 


8. MANGER—PUGNACITY 


It is not difficult to arouse anger; it is a primitive 


' emotion which all of the higher animals possess in 


Joy KILLERS 215 


common with man. Anger is the emotion associated 


with the instinct of pugnacity.* It seems that when / 


any of our primitive instincts and emotions are 


thwarted, anger becomes the instinctive reaction of this \ 


interference with our natural enjoyment. Anger—pug- 
nacious resentment—manifests itself in the presence of 
a weakening self-control. 

It is a well-known fact that people who get angry 
easily, who are all the time “flying off the handle,” 
flaring up at the least offense—I say, it is commonly 
understood that such poorly controlled individuals are 
not happy. If you are experiencing the joys of living, 
if you are a really happy man or woman, and want to 
take the shortest possible route to unhappiness, just 
“set amad on.” Allow yourself to become thoroughly 
angry, mad through and through at some fellow man, 
and you will speedily find yourself to be the possessor 
of a real and lasting unhappiness. ‘Temper is incom- 
patible with joyous living. 

Anger is a sure-fire joy-killer. It simply does not 
pay to go around with a chip on your shoulder. If 
you are quick tempered and vitriolic, determine to 
make yourself reasonable and agreeable. Quick tem- 
pers can be mastered and overcome. Set before you 


the goal of self-control, and strive until you attain it. | 


Anger not only destroys mental happiness, but it ? 


upsets the digestion, disturbs the circulation, unbal- | 


ances the nerves, and unfailingly results in ill health, 
suffering, and sorrow. Unhappiness and depression 


\ 
4 


\ 


are the results of long-continued and oft-indulged / 


anger. 


*Anger and other emotions are more fully discussed in the Ap- 
pendix. 


Neate - 


216 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


One of the happiest and most wholesome individ- 
uals I ever knew, a few years back, became associated 
with a person who frequently provoked him to out- 
bursts of violent anger. A year of this resulted in 
the development of a really pugnacious disposition, 
which has changed this agreeable, mild-mannered in- 
dividual into a disagreeable, blustering type of tem- 
perament; all of which has greatly interfered with his 
success in life, and what is still worse, has all but de- 
stroyed his happiness and the joy of living. 

It does not pay to get an exaggerated idea that you 
must look out for number one, stand up for your 
rights, and all that. Of course, we want to look out 
for ourselves in a sane and proper manner as we jour- 
ney through life, but let us do it in a spirit of good 
fellowship; let us be good natured about our effort to 
see that we get our just desserts. We cannot afford 
to get angry about it; we cannot afford to be all 
wrought up most of the time. 

Let us see to it that we do not get too sensitive, 
touchy, and squeamish. Let us avoid that state of 
mind where something is always “touching us off.” 
These temper explosions are not good for the health 
of the body, and they are fatal to our peace of mind. 

Do not make the mistake of forming conclusions 
when you are angry. Just after you have had a ter- 
rible explosion is no time to decide important matters. 

It is unwise to administer discipline or undertake 
to settle problems of serious import involving other 
people when you are mad. Cool off first, sleep over 
it, and you will find after a night’s rest that you will 
be more sane, sensible, and generous in your terms 
and proposals. 


Joy KILLERS ZH 


I recently talked with a man who was “all put out.” 
He was going to institute proceedings immediately to 
dissolve a partnership of over thirty years standing. I 
asked him at least to sleep over the matter—still bet- 
ter to give it forty-eight hours thought and study; 
and I secured his promise to take no steps toward 
carrying out his plans without first seeing me. He 
could not wait forty-eight hours to see me; he came 
back the next afternoon and laughed heartily about 
the whole thing, and thanked me very much for the 
advice I gave him to “keep his shirt on” and “sleep 
over it.” He had made up his mind that it would be 
the greatest mistake of his life if he carried out his 
foolish plans—the plans formulated in an angry brain 
—the plans thought out when he was hot-headed and 
emotionally upset. 


Most decisions that are reached in times of anger ee 


are unworthy of our best thought and intention, and \, 
it would be good policy for all of us to form the habit © 
of never deciding anything of great importance when / 
we are upset, when we are more or less angry. 

We have every reason to believe that sudden anger 
and violent rage have such an effect upon the ductless 
glands and circulating fluids of the body as to result 
in the formation of veritable poisons. It is a well- 
known fact that anger and rage serve immediately to 
raise the blood pressure, and it is not an uncommon 
occurrence that some individual already suffering from 
high blood pressure bursts a blood vessel and suffers 
an attack of apoplexy as a result of a violent outburst 
of anger. . 

Several years ago I knew of the case of a man, the 
father of several children, a successful man in many 


218 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


ways, but an individual who had never learned to curb 
his temper. He had had his own way when he was 
a child; he dominated in an almost overbearing man- 
ner the family circle. One day an argument arose 
between himself and his eldest son. He flew into a 
rage, ordered the boy from the premises, and told him 
never to set his foot in the house again. ‘The boy was 
proud and sensitive, failed to take into account his 
father’s temperamental weakness, took the advice seri- 
ously and literally, and in the seven years that have 
intervened has never returned home—in fact, has 
never even written to his father, although he has been 
in communication with his mother. 

What a pity that an otherwise happy, joyful family 
circle should be disrupted by such a lack of self-control. 
Of course, I well understand how many persons seek 
to excuse these outbursts of temper with the explana- 
tion that it is just temperament. 

The dockets of our divorce courts are congested 
with the cases of men and women who are seeking 
separation just because at some time one or the other 
lost control of themselves, became angry, indulged in 
an outburst of temper, saying and doing things which 
they could only be ashamed of subsequently; all of 
which led directly or indirectly to the divorce court. 

Just a few days ago, in my office, I had to patch up 
a family feud, that was due to nothing more nor less 
than anger, lack of self-control, and both parties were 
guilty. On this particular occasion the husband in- 
sisted that they either go to see a lawyer or the doctor. 
Well, the whole affair evolved into a humorous episode 
in my office, and everybody was laughing heartily by 


the time it was finished. They were positively childish 


“e 

hs? 
In! 
rt aa 
as 


Joy KILLERS 219 


in their behavior and pathetic in their lack of self- 
control; but with all that they had a sense of humor, 
and decided to go back home and try to behave them- 
selves better. 

How many times we see these so-called lovers’ quar- 
rels break up a happy couple and lead to permanent 
estrangement. I have a case in mind at the present 
time. It occurred just recently. Both the young man 
and the young woman, while they are estimable char- 
acters, are both more or less spoiled children. ‘They 
have had their way too much; there has been too 
little discipline in their early lives, and they are all the 
time getting peevish and upset, they are sensitive and 
touchy, and if the one hasn’t a ‘“‘mad on” the other 
has. It usually takes them several weeks to get things 
patched up. I think their parents are about disgusted 
with the situation. 

Now they have had a break which has lasted for 
three months, and probably the affair is all over. “Too 
bad! They undoubtedly are very fond of each other, 
and I dare say that if the trouble is not fixed up in the 
immediate future, they are quite likely, both of them, 
to marry someone they think a great deal less of than 
they do of each other; and so probably two unhappy 
homes are going to result—all due to the lack of com- 
mon sense and self-control. 

In certain nervous types of individuals, those seh 
a hysteria tendency, these sudden angry flare-ups are 
sometimes very unfortunate. I could tell you a long 
story about a young woman, unmarried, twenty-four 
years of age, who will indulge in a fit of temper, and 
then crumple up on the floor unconscious. Sometimes 
her body gets stiff and rigid. This sort of perform- 


220 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


ance is oftentimes prolonged into an episode of several 
hours. The mother used to get scared to death on 
these occasions, and the father would scurry around — 
the neighborhood for doctors. 

At last the parents found out just what ails the 
daughter, and the only reason she is under medical 
treatment at the present time is because her fiance 
refused to go on with the marriage unless she gets 
cured of these “‘spells.”. Who can blame him? And 
he is wise to use the postponement of matrimony as a 
means of assisting her in getting better control of her 
nerves. 

Young women should remember the same principle, 
too; if they are going with a fellow who drinks or is 
addicted to some other reprehensible practice, they 
will do well to see that he reforms before marriage. 
It is usually easier to do it before they are married 
than to try to change these faults after the marriage 
ceremony. 

I could go on, and the reader could do likewise, 
multiplying these cases, showing the sorrow that in- 
variably follows in the wake of bad temper, pointing 
out how happiness is destroyed by oft indulged anger. 
In the end this will gradually change an otherwise 
agreeable temperament into an ugly sort of pugnacious 
individual, a temperamental character that few can 
admire and none can love. 


9. HATE—REVENGE 


One of the surest and quickest ways to destroy hap- 
piness is to develop a real and abiding hate. If you 
) want certainly and surely to kill joy, start out on a 
determined program of revenge. The unpleasant 


Joy KILLERS 22 


emotions* of disgust, repulsion, and aversion sooner 
or later will all be set in motion; and when one allows 
himself to really become possessed with the sentiment ° 
of vengeance, he cannot expect long to enjoy the bless- - 
ings of real happiness. 

I once knew a couple of brothers who worked to- 
gether in a most wonderful fashion, each helping the 
other, and both of them greatly multiplying the use- 
fulness of the other fellow. One of them began to 
nurse a pet peeve that his brother was not treating him 
right. He began entertaining a grudge, which grew 
into a settled hate, and eventually this man devoted 
his life, his energy, his fortune, in wreaking vengeance 
on his brother. And of course, this attitude did not 
promote very much love and affection on the part of 
the other brother. This was kept up for about a 
dozen years, and extended into every form of litiga- 
tion, combat, and hostility. J am not familiar with 
all of the details and merits of the case; there are 
probably two sides to the controversy; but I know that 
the man who entertained the hate, the brother who 
instituted all of the proceedings for revenge, after a 
dozen years of this program, suffered from a severe 


“nervous breakdown, his health was wrecked and his 


happiness shattered. I could not help but feel sorry 
for him when he saw how little there was to enjoy in 
the reward of revenge. He certainly wreaked ven- 
geance on his brother, but he brought the curse of ill 
health and unhappiness upon himself. 

Even in commercial rivalry, athletic competition, or 


whatever it may be, if one once develops a bitterness 


*In the Appendix these emotions are fully considered. 


222 How You CAN KeEre HAPPY 


—if there is generated a hate that leads to anger and 
a thirst for revenge—joy and happiness are sure to 
depart. 

Here is the case of a middle aged woman who has 
made herself miserable for half a dozen years trying 
to find some opportunity to get even with, or satisfy 
her thirst for revenge on, a social rival. 

I have a young man now under my care who suffers 
sleepless nights and is enjoying the most exquisite 
misery because he is trying to find some way to revenge 
himself on a young fellow who won out in a competi- 
tive courtship; but he has only unhappiness and misery 
out of the course he is pursuing now, and even if he 
succeeds in satisfying his hunger for revenge, he will 
get no real happiness out of the experience. 

It simply does not pay to harbor these debilitating 
and devastating thoughts for a long period in the 
human mind. They are bad company. They are mis- 
chief-makers. It is better to take a more magnanimous 
viewpoint, be more forgiving and forgetful, to go 
about one’s business in a constructive fashion, and not 
allow one’s whole energy to be occupied with thoughts 
of vengeance. 

The retaliation complex is the never-failing mischief- 
maker of the human brain. Whether we consider the 
mind of the individual or whether we look at it from 
the standpoint of mass psychology, the influence is 
most unfortunate—whether the individual entertains 
hate in the hope of revenge or whether a whole nation 
indulges in this state of mind as regards another nation. 

We see how the peace and happiness of all Europe 
has been for generations, and even now is, jeopardized 


by this tendency to foster hate and to cherish a desire — 


ales 
as 


Joy KILLERS 223 


for revenge. Each great war only seems to establish 
in the minds of the vanquished the desire to plan and 
get ready to wreak vengeance in some future war on 
the victors of today. 


BE A GOOD LOSER 


We hear a great deal about self-determination these 
days, but all this political idealism presupposes the gift 
of self-control. Children must early be taught how to 
manage themselves, to control their fears and emo- 
tions, properly to modify and regulate their anger and | 
resentment. One of the first things a child should be | 
taught is to be a good loser. 

I have a semi-neurasthenic in mind at the present 
time, who has a regular blow-out, makes a veritable 
crisis out of each little disappointment that overtakes 
him as he journeys along the pathway of life. He 
looks upon it as a calamity when he meets with a 
trivial defeat. It is a catastrophe when he is compelled 
to suffer a disappointment. He seems to be possessed 
of the idea that this world, if not the whole universe, 


was designed by the Creator to keep time to his whims 
-and to keep step with his comings and goings. 


A few years back I watched this chap lose a highly 
lucrative position just because he got peeved and de- 
liberately abandoned his work for two weeks, for-no 
other purpose than to indulge his hate and enjoy a 


fulsome season of pouting; but he lost his position, and _ 


'mever since has he had one as good. The forgiving ( 


spirit is a better health practice than the perpetuation, ) 
of a grudge. 

Recently I saw a woman who was cured of stomach 
trouble by simply changing her disposition. She had 


224 How You CAN KEEP HAppy 


for years been nursing a grudge against her sister-in- 
law. This came to the surface in her emotional analy- 
sis, and she promised that she would do her best 
toward adjusting the matter. Her sister-in-law was 
more than willing to meet her halfway. A truce was 
formulated, and within a week the hatchet was buried 
and the hatred was forgotten. I do not know how 
much good it did the other woman, but I know it cured 
my patient. She began to get well. She had troubles 
that had been diagnosed as everything from appendi- 
citis to gall-stones, and she has literally recovered from 
all of these digestive disturbances since she abandoned 
her grudge. You see, sometimes you can sweeten up 
the stomach by sweetening up the disposition. 

It does not pay to carry around a wounded pride 
and be so high and mighty that you cannot condescend 
to forgive your fellows and overlook a trifling mistake. 
Let us forgive with the same spirit in which we would 
like to be forgiven. 

In my younger days I knew a couple of individuals, - 
neighbors, who had long nursed a grudge. One of 
them built one of those famous so-called “spite fences” 
between their backyards, so as to shut out the light 
and obstruct the view of his neighbor overlooking the 
river that ran nearby. They shook fists at each other, 
berated one another, and were in court on numerous 
occasions; all of which only further aggravated their 
difficulties and augmented their hatred. Finally in a 
moment of tenderness, brought about by the acciden- 
tal death of a child in one of the families, interested 
neighbors intervened and got these two men together. 
The twenty-five year feud was patched up in less than 
half an hour, and friendship and happiness took the 


Joy KILLERS fig hs 


place of hate and revenge. The whole neighborhood 
was blessed because of this change, because of the rec- 
onciliation between these two families. 

I recently heard of another case where such a feud, 
with its spite fence, litigation, and what not, was in- 
dulged in for thirty-five years, until the wife of one 
of the men grew so discouraged and disgusted that 
she packed up and left for California, to be followed 
in six months by her husband. In his heart I presume 
he still nourishes the desire to get even with his neigh- 
bor. 

It is just such things as this that in past generations 
led to notorious family feuds in Kentucky and other 
Southern states. Neither side is willing to give in until 
they have had the satisfaction of getting revenge, and 
each new vengeance generates the insatiable thirst for 
getting even with the other family, so the hatred is 
kept alive year in and year out, from generation to 
generation. 

In this connection, there is a great deal of satisfac- 
‘tion, much health and happiness to be had, by playing 
the role of peace-maker. I know sometimes it is a 
thankless task to try to intervene between angry con- 
testants, but on the whole, if we are discreet and use 
good judgment, we can sometimes be very successful 
‘in helping to bring long-standing enemies together; we 
‘can ofttimes contribute much toward settling contro- 
‘versies which would otherwise keep splendid people 
far apart. At least, we all can see that we do not 
‘contribute anything by,our carelessness, to feeding the 
fires of hate. This is where idle gossip and thought- 
Tess tale-bearing is sometimes productive of untold 
harm. If our mutual friends have a breach between 


| 


226 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


them let us try to heal it—at least make sure that we © 
do nothing to widen it. : 

I am very familiar with the early details of an 
estrangement that came between two prominent men in 
a western city. I watched for more than twelve years 
while they fought each other, each trying to down the 
other fellow, trying always to get the best of him. I 
know how the whole community suffered in many ways 
as a result of this personal feud. I personally know 
that the health of one of the parties to this controversy — 
was greatly injured by this constant wrangling and in- 
cessant turmoil. i 

By and by a big-hearted, generous fellow chanced to 
be elected Mayor of that city, and he schemed about 
one evening, without these two men being aware of his 
plans, to bring them together, apparently by accident, 
at the Club. He took them each by the arm, led them 
into an anteroom, and made a brief speech, stating 
that the community had suffered already too long and 
too much as a result of their feud; and he asked, as a 
personal favor and in behalf of the whole town, that 
they sit down across the table right then and there, and 
in his presence settle their disputes, compromise, bury 
the hatchet, and agree to let him arbitrate any minor 
differences that might turn up as a by-product of their 
effort in getting together. 

Neither party to the controversy was willing to as- 
sume the responsibility of kicking over the traces under 
such circumstances. They sat down and began talking, 
and by midnight they were ready to shake hands, and 
declare the fight off, and what a blessing it proved to 
the whole community! More than half a dozen enter- 
prises that had been held back, which were greatly re- 


Joy KILLERS 227 


tarded because of the quarrels of these two men, went 
forward with alacrity. A new enterprise employing 
a thousand men was launched within sixty days. ‘The 
whole town rejoiced and was benefited in more ways 
than one when these two men decided to end their feud 
and give up their desire for personal revenge. , 


10. CONSCIENCE—EMOTIONAL CONFLICTS 


Before we close the discussion of joy killers we must 
pay our respects to conscience. Now, conscience is 
quite indispensable to modern civilization; but we 
must not overlook the fact that many people are made 
sick, and still more are made uphappy, because of the 
misunderstanding of conscience. 

Conscience is looked upon by many persons as being 
the voice of God, whereas it is nothing more nor less 
than our inherited and acquired standard of right and 
wrong. Man, as we find him on earth today, seems 
to be possessed of a dual nature, and conscience 1s 
always getting us into trouble, as it tries to sit on the 
seat of judgment between the instincts and longings 
of our primitive animal nature and the aspirations and 
sentiments of eur more recently acquired, higher or 
spiritual nature. 

It would be easy to fill this whole volume with 
stories of earnest, well-meaning men and women, young 
and old, who made themselves really sick and exceed- 
ingly unhappy because they allowed conscience to in- 
trude into unwarranted realms and unnecessarily to 
interfere with their pleasure, decisions, happiness, and 
other habits of living. 

Only the other day I talked with a young man whose 
life is filled with sorrow, overshadowed by despair, be- 


ee 


228 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


cause he has allowed conscience to insistently harass 
him for a certain trifling thing he inadvertently did 
several years ago. He has come to believe that this 
act has ruined his chances of success in life and prob- 
ably disbarred him from the opportunity to secure life 
everlasting in the world beyond. For seven years this 
young man has suffered the torments of the damned, 
and it is going to be some time before he gets straight- 
ened out and enjoys the blessings of a well-ordered 
mind and adequate control of his thoughts and emo- 
tions. But he will succeed. I believe he is going to 
take hold of the matter in dead earnest. 

There is no mental twist or intellectual kink of this 
kind but what the average individual can straighten 
out if he goes about it with a will, with a whole heart, 
with a consecrated determination to succeed. | 

Much of our psychic conflict and emotional turmoil 
has come to us as a legacy of the puritanism of our 
forefathers, the Puritans regarding all pleasure as sin. 
The very fact that you like something is sufficient evi- 
dence that it is wicked. Puritanism really held happi- 
ness in contempt though it would not deny the right 
to the minor or trifling pleasures of living. 

Our forefathers, in spirit, taught that we should not — 
expect to be happy here below, but that being able to 
enjoy, in a minor degree, some trifling pleasures, we 
should be content to wait for the next world to enjoy 
real happiness. 

I appreciate that we can’t run this world without 
conscience. Christianity and modern civilization would 
not last long if we were to lose conscience out of hu- 
man experience; nevertheless, as a physician, I am con- 
stantly meeting with people who have been mace sick 


Joy KILLERS | 229 


through an unfortunate misunderstanding of conscience. 

At the present time, I have a dozen good people on 
my hands who have nothing the matter with them ex- 
cept that they are suffering from the results of worry, 
fear, and misapprehension that have been bred by an 
over-conscientious temperament. 

Here is a young man who is so conscientious, he 
attaches such grave importance to everything he does, 
says, and thinks, that he has ruined his digestion, inter- 
fered with his circulation, and now it is even spoiling 
his sleep; he stays awake half the night engaged in 
further worry about his shortcomings. I am fearful 
that it will soon run to the place where he begins to 
look upon some of these things as positive sin, and 
then he may end up by thinking he has committed the 
unpardonable sin. 

There has just left my office the very day of this 
writing a splendid minister over forty years of age, 
suffering from a nervous breakdown, and his chief 
worry is that he has committed the unpardonable sin. 

These cases of conscientious worry all seem to strike 
sooner or later on this rock of the unpardonable sin. 
We should remember that conscience is a state of 
mind that tells us always to do right, but never tells 
us what is right. We have to fird that out by common 
sense and judgment as well as by actual experience. 
We must remember that it was conscience that led the 
zealous Hindoo mother to throw her helpless babe 
into the jaws of the crocodile. 


THE CRIMES OF CONSCIENCE 


Conscience has led, in times of darkness and igno- 
rance, to queer crimes, fanatical beliefs, and horrible 
16 ) 


230 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


persecutions, and I can assure you that conscience also 
leads to suffering, sickness, and disease. 

Particularly do we find certain types of splendid 
people who worry over trifling little things in their 
early lives. Maybe it was some minor mistake in the 
sex life, nothing whatever to do with the Seventh Com- 
mandment, but some passing thought, a queer dream, 
or maybe some commonplace indiscretion that had 
come and gone, had long since passed out of the 
individual’s life, and then later on some circumstance 
arose that started them worrying over these early ex- 
periences; then conscience, always alert to seize upon 
the slightest deflection from the path of right and rec- 
titude, speaks; and then these nervous men and women 
begin to worry and ere long they are all but nervous 
wrecks as a result of worry over trifling incidents that, 
in most cases, had no moral significance, and even if 
they did, nothing could be gained by worrying over 
them after they were long since forgiven and all but 
forgotten. 

They are incidents in past history and yet certain 
people resurrect these memories, real or imaginary, 
and out of them create a sufficient cause for destroying 
their happiness and ruining their health. 

At the present time I have a patient who is so 
conscientious about her eating that she is ruining her 
health, spoiling her digestion. She is making a religion 
of hygiene. Of course, I believe that the laws of 
Nature are the laws of God; that they are sacred and 
that we should make an effort to obey them, but we 
should not create standards and rules of eating, drink- 
ing, and sleeping, so that it becomes a sin to remain 
out. of bed a minute after 10 o’clock at night, or that 


Joy KILLERS 231 


it is a crime not to wake up and go to work at just 
5:45 in the morning. Likewise it is a great mistake 
to take such matters as diet too seriously. 

I have a patient who believes it is a positive sin to 
eat a piece of meat. She is a vegetarian for religious 
reasons. It is all right to find out what is best for 
your health and then within the bounds of common 
sense, live up to your light, but it is a great mistake to 
regard health practices so seriously that the slightest 
deviation from established rules of living is looked 
upon as a Sin. 

What a pity that we have one class of patients who, 
because they do not listen to their conscience, so utterly 
ignore their own common sense, go so far astray in 
matters of health practices and decent living that they 
suffer from the results of their hygienic sins on the one 
hand and their vicious moral practices on the other. 

Here we have a lot of sick folks who ought to be 
cured by conscience, who are suffering, as it were, from 
the effects of having their consciences seared by a hot 
iron. Now, on the other hand, and in contrast with 
this group, we have another class of fine individuals 
with high ideals and spiritual tendencies, and with such 
tender consciences that they are in the doctor’s hands, 
sick, all because they are over-conscientious—they are 
hyper-conscientious. They have put such stress and 
strain upou the mind and nerves as the result of this 
Over-conscientiousness that they are all but broken 
down physically and exhausted nervously. 

What a pity it is that we can’t avoid these extremes. 
It is too bad we can’t think enough about our stomachs 
to avoid serious digestive disorders, without at the 
same time thinking so much about the digestion as to 


37. How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


bring on nervous dyspepsia.- How we are prone to go 
from one extreme to the other! Can’t we find a way 
to think about all these matters from physical hygiene 
down to sex hygiene so as to avoid disease dangers on 
the one hand, without becoming morbid and so over- 
conscientious as to destroy health and happiness on the 
other hand? 

I am sure my readers will see the point of modera- 
tion, temperance, and good common sense that I am 
pleading for. We can’t teach the youth of this gener- 
ation that they can ignore conscience. On. the other 
hand, in our efforts at religious instruction, we ought 
to explain to them that conscience 1s not an infallible 
guide in and of itself. I repeat, conscience tells us to 
do right, but does not educate us as to what right is. 
We may conscientiously refrain from something today 
that, through more light and information, we will 
gladly do tomorrow. Likewise, we may be doing things 
today that as a result of more information, as a result 
of conscientious reasons, we cease to do tomorrow. 
Conscience, therefore, varies from time to time and 
from individual to individual. 

Thousands of people do their very best, just as well 


as any man or woman could do under the same circum- — 


stances, and then lie awake half the night or destroy 
their happiness for days following, criticizing them- 
selves, condemning themselves because they didn’t do 
better, mind you, when an examination of the facts by 
unprejudiced persons would show that no one could 
have done any better under the same circumstances. 
Now, while we want to avoid sorrow and the suffer- 


ings of an exaggerated ego and over-self-confidence on > 
the one hand, let us also be fair to ourselves on the 


Joy KILLERS 233 


other. A lot of folks would do well to quit picking 
on themselves and not blame themselves for every 
little thing that happens in the neighborhood. Let us 
be reasonable even with ourselves. 

No matter how happy you may be, if you start in to 
quarrel with yourself, ill health and unhappiness will 
be your portion sooner or later. Emotional conflict 
is a certain and sure joy-killer. If you are going to 
maintain happiness you must master the subtle art of 
compromise between your primitive emotions and your 
civilized ideals—you must master the art of living with 
yourself as you are and the world as it is. 

Happiness will not survive the incessant struggle 
that accompanies long continued emotional conflicts. 


Minor 
2 ari 
; 


Health and happiness demand that we not only be at > 
peace with God and the world, but that we also learn —” 


to be at peace with our own selves. 


ae 


PART IV 


THE SECRETS OF EMOTIONAL CONTROL 


N OUR discussion of the essentials of happiness, the 

luxuries of happiness, and joy-killers, frequent men- 
tion has been made of the instincts and emotions; this 
phase of our subject is more fully presented in the 
appendix, for the sake of those who may be disposed 
to give more though: to the biologic and psychologic 
aspects of human instincts, emotions, sentiments, and 
convictions. 

In this section I desire to give more attention to the 
question of emotional control, to explain to my readers 
more fully and in detail how to go about this business 
of gaining control of the emotions, and thus directly 


. Bons is directly one indirectly CE for our 
experience of happiness or unhappiness, it becomes 
highly important that we know how to become masters 
of our emotions, to become experts in the practice of 
the art of intelligent self-control. ' 

Now, let us suppose that you are one of these high- 
strung, inordinately sensitive souls; that you carry your 
nerves on the outside of your skin, and that somebody 
is always getting on them. If this is the case, it would 
be a good thing to remember that you are the slave of 
everybody who gets on your nerves. They have you 
all wrapped around their little fingers. They play the 
tune and you dance. They take snuff and you sneeze. 


235 


236 How You Can KEEP Hap 


But since you have this trouble, the on/ thing you want 
to know is what to do about it, and tA it is the purpose 
of this section. 


You folks who are hypersensitive are doomed to 
lifelong suffering—unless you acquire some degree of 
emotional control. I have just talk with a newly 
married woman. Of course, in mar z her husband 
she thought she was entering into « |i: long union with- 
a hero, but something has happened since her mar- 


riage. She says he is always hurting her feelings; that 
he is unkind; that he is not tho: >'.tful; that he is cross. 
She just got sick and wen: tc ved the other day be- 
cause he read his -aper nearly the whole time during 


breakfast, anu hardiy spoke to her, and she says he - 


even comes home in the evening, gets in a comfortable 
chair, puts on his slippers, smokes his pipe, and just 
reads and reads. She supposed they would spend all 


of their lives courting just as they did before they were © 


matried. 


Now I don’t want to excuse this man. I believe 


there ought to be some courtship after marriage. 


7 


Maybe some married man will read this and straight-~ 


way go and buy his wife a box of candy and take home 


some flowers. It wouldn’t do any harm if he did. It— 


is hardly a square deal to court a woman morning, ~ 


noon, and night before you are married, and then for-— 


get all these things after marriage. 
But, on the other hand, I told this woman that herll 


husband had to make a living, and get the money to 


pay her servants and keep up the automobile; that he 


had some other things to do in life besides just keeping — 
up these little attentions of their courting days, but I~ 
didn’t seem to make much headway. She is broken- i 


: 
| 


SECRETS OF EMOTIONAL CONTROL 237 


hearted; she is killed. She didn’t tell me so, but I 
think she has just about reached the conclusion that 
all men are brutes—cruel, hardhearted, selfish animals. 

I advised her to go home and try the plan of the 
trained nurse I knew, who got married, and when her 
husband began bringing the morning paper to the 
breakfast table, she excused herself one morning and 
returned with her sewing. She sat at the table and 
sewed a little, and then ate a bit, until finally her hus- 
band stopped reading and asked, “What’s the mat- 
ter?” “Oh, nothing, I just had some important sewing 
I wanted to finish.”” He took the hint. 

In contrast with this story, I should tell you of the 
misfortune of one of my patients, a man who has mar- 
ried a confirmed hysteric. Just the moment his wife 
can’t have her way—the very moment her will is 
crossed—she has a regular fit, keels over, rolls her 
eyes, and for all the world acts like she were dying. 
She gets perfectly stiff sometimes, while on other occa- 
sions she cries, screams, and carries on in an outland- 
ish fashion. She kept her husband scared to death for 
eighteen months—until he had her examined and diag- 
nosed; and now both of them—with the help of the 
doctor—are struggling to get the best of these cantan- 
kerous nerves. This husband is having to “bring up 
his wife”—having to administer the discipline that her 
parents should have given her when she was a child. 


1. Nervous SLAVERY—EMOTIONAL SPRAWLS 


It is remarkable how many ‘‘spoiled children” a 
doctor meets in his office. If you are once “‘spoiled,” 
you will remain “spoiled” until you take yourself in 


hand and undo the “‘spoiling.”’ 


238 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


Perhaps it might help some reader if I told the story 
of this woman and what had to be done to help her 
overcome these hysterical fits. She was twenty-six 
years of age, an only daughter; had been raised in a 
good home, one with a fair amount of discipline, but 
her parents had always allowed her to have her own 
way. Frankly she was a spoiled child. Both her 
parents were very nervous; her mother had this same 
hysterical tendency, but had been more fortunately 
raised and had kept it under more or less control mos 
of her life. | 


Fortunately, this woman’s husband was very fond 


of her (and you should understand that she was a 


woman of many estimable traits, there were a lot of 
splendid things in her character) and so, I say, the 
husband being very fond of her, when we broke the 
news to him as to what the real trouble was, he was 
willing to enlist for the duration of the conflict. 
When I explained partially the course of procedure, 
the woman herself was not at all enthusiastic about fol- 
lowing out our regime, but she was convinced that the 
diagnosis was right, reluctant though she was to admit 
it, and so at last the fight began. She decided to de- 
clare war on her slave-driving nerves. 

A practical nurse, a woman with considerable horse- 
sense, was secured for three months, and was put in 
immediate charge of the case. This woman has a 
written program made out a week in advance which 
covers what she is to do every hour of the day from 
6 o'clock in the morning to 11 o’clock at night. The 
nurse even has instructions as to what she is to do for 
her at night in case she doesn’t sleep well, so that the 
whole twenty-four hours of each day is provided for. 


SECRETS OF EMOTIONAL CONTROL 239 


In general, we treat this grown-up woman just as 
we would an infant—three months or three years old. 
She is given just a certain amount of time in which to 
get up and dress and make her toilet. She eats break- 
fast on the dot. Her breakfast is provided for her— 
most of which she likes, but some things which are 
good for her she eats whether she likes them or not. 
She does a certain amount of housework immediately 
after breakfast, goes with the nurse to do the market- 
ing. She started out walking three blocks a day, with 
the addition of one block each day. She goes through 
a pretty busy morning, varied from day to day, owing 
to the needs of the household, until her light lunch at 
12:30. From 1to3 she rests. That is, she lies down 
in bed and relaxes whether she sleeps or not. At 3 
o'clock the program begins again, and keeps up until 
6:30 dinner, and then the nurse goes off duty, and her 
husband takes charge in the evening. 

Every other evening is spent at home in relaxing; 
‘she is allowed to do as she pleases until her evening 
neutral bath at 9:30—a bath at 98° F., which she 
takes for twenty minutes. Alternate evenings with this 
rest treatment at home she goes out in society, to enter- 
‘tainments, lectures, etc. She is a very busy woman. 
But that is only the background, the foundation of her _ 
cure. 

I am just coming now to the real cure. In studying 
her case we made a list of thirty-two pet peeves, hoo- 
-doos and whatnot; that is, things that worry her, get 
on her nerves, or that give her fits. We arranged 
these pet peeves in the order of their gravity or sever- 
‘ity, starting out with the smallest ones first. They are 
each written out on a piece of paper and underneath 


240 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


specific instructions given for the nurse to carry out. 
These envelopes are numbered and they are opened 
every other day. ‘That is, they tackle a new one on 
the morning following her evening of rest at home. 
She has now gone through twenty-five of this list, and 
has made good, though it has been really pitiful at 
times the way she has begged to be let off and how she 
has trembled like an aspen leaf when forced to do 
something of which she is afraid. 

The greatest test came when her husband was away 
from home for ten days and we selected that occasion 
as an opportunity for making her remain alone in the 
house after dark. It was necessary for the nurse to 
visit the neighbors and explain what was going to 
happen and to communicate with the policeman on the 
beat, as this woman carried out her threat to yell if 
she were left alone. The nurse informed her she was 
going to walk around the block and would be back 
in five minutes, but the moment she left the house this 
woman began to scream and she kept it up until the 
nurse got back; but on the next evening the nurse was 
gone ten minutes, and the woman screamed only two 
minutes. The third night the nurse was gone fifteen 
minutes, and the woman did not scream at all. She 
has recently remained at home by herself after night 
for three hours with very little perturbation. 


2. TAKING YOURSELF IN HAND 


/ You see, it can be done if we only make up our minds 
to go through with it and have some friendly counsel 
or trustworthy guide to pilot us along. It might be 
profitable to go more into detail with this case, but 
there is so much to tell that I think perhaps this 1s 


i, 


SECRETS OF EMOTIONAL CONTROL 241 


enough to give a practical suggestion as to how we do 
this sort of thing. It is just like developing weak 
muscles into strong muscles; it requires exercise, prac- 
tice. 

Thinking and wishing and willing alone never get 
us anywhere; we have to get right down to brass tacks 
and actually do the very thing we are afraid of. Now, 
most folks are able to do this for themselves; they | 
don’t need to have a nurse for three months, but in 
these bad cases it requires three or four months under 
supervision to get them over the grade. 

Perhaps I ought to explain that in one of the earlier 
encounters in this case, this woman hauled off and 
slapped her nurse right in the face when she tried to 
urge her on to carry out the written program. The 
nurse called me for instructions and I said: “Be kind, . 
but treat her like a spoiled child. The next time she 
slaps you, turn her over you knee and spank her.” ‘The 
next time she slapped the nurse she got the spanking. 
‘She never slapped the nurse again. 

-. We have to treat these people like spoiled children. 
‘Of course, I believe in all these new-fangled notions 
‘about psychology and suggestion, whether dealing with 
‘nervous children or hysterical patients, but I am frank 
‘to say that in the case of either the spoiled child or 
\the hysterical neurotic, when I fail to get results, when 
{they don’t mind me after I have tried all my sugges- 
\tions, then I believe in the old fashioned method of 
““Jaying on of hands.” In the case of children, psychol- 
‘ogy is sometimes best when “applied with the hand.” 
In the case of this grown-up woman, the hysterical 
wife who is but a spoiled child, we recognize that her 
‘parents fell down in her early training. Perhaps they 


5 
a 
i 
DA 
a 
1 & 


ye 


242 How You CAN KEEP }iAPPY 


were afraid; maybe she had spasms when she was a 
baby if her way was crossed, and thus scared her poor 
parents almost to death. This business of making her 
stay alone after dark should have been fought out by 
her parents when she was a baby. She should have 
been put to bed in a dark room and left alone to go 
to sleep. If she raised a fuss, it should have been 
fought out in a successive round of battles, whether it 
took one week or three weeks, and thus the whole thing 
would have been settled then and there. 

.. Every time fathers and mothers fail to teach their 
sons and daughters self-control when they are young, 
especially if they are nervous children, later on in life, 
husband or wife, or someone else, will have to do it; 
and these lessons are so much easier to learn when you 
are young. It is so much better to fight this out with 
children before they are four or five years of age, when 
they forget all about it, rather than after they are 
grown up, when the memory scars of the struggle of 
wills and battles of wits will linger in their minds. 

I trust that the parents who may chance to read this 
book will, if they have nervous children, get the advice 
of their doctor and go about this in dead earnest, de- 
termined to teach their children self-control while they 
are yet in the cradle. 

Appetite is the first place to begin to practice self- 
control. Children should be taught not to eat between 
meals—to control their appetite. Even very young 
children get very angry if their meal is disturbed; and 
how many grown-ups make silly fools of themselves 
over eating. 

A perfectly sane, level-headed business man will go 
home at night and rave about like a semi-insane person 


SECRETS OF EMOTIONAL CONTROL 243 


just because dinner is late or some little thing about 
the meal doesn’t happen to suit him. He not only 
spoils his own digestion by such emotional blow-ups, 
but also upsets the digestion of the whole family. 
Hard biscuits would not disturb the stomach as much 
as these temper explosions. 

The other day I was called to see a woman who was 
in bed, prostrated, for no other reason than that her 
husband had unexpectedly brought a friend home to 
dinner the evening before. Amid copious tears she 
would say: ‘Just think of it—he brought him without 
saying a word to me—why didn’t he tell me he was 
going to bring company?” 

I have a patient, a lawyer, who was criticized by 
one of his partners; after indulging in a “blow-up” 
he has settled down to “pouting”? and depression—has 
made up his mind that he is a “perfect failure,” and 
wants to “quit the whole business’—and I presume 
he would if he did not have a wife and two children 
dependent on him. We are helping this man over this 
trouble by teaching him that what he calls unfair criti- 
cism is nothing but kindly and necessary suggestion, 
that he misinterprets and magnifies it in his own mind 
and then allows his oversensitive nervous system to 
over-react. If he keeps up his present efforts to take 
his troubles philosophically he will be on top within the 
next year. 

Why get furious just because you were so careless 
as to smash your thumb while driving a nail? Why 
should taking down stove-pipes or other house-cleaning 
stunts thoroughly upset the average individual ¢ 

The most senseless of all anger is that which parents 
manifest towards their children. How foolish to give 


244 How You CAN KEEP HAPPpy 


way to one’s nervousness and get mad just because the 
children have done some annoying thing—something 
all children do, and nothing but what you did when you 
were a child. 

You may have heard about the little girl who, after 
, her mother had indulged in a disagreeable display of 
temper over some trifling misdemeanor, asked her this 
embarrassing question: ‘‘Mama, dear, why is it when 
you get mad it is temperament, and when I get mad it’s 
temper ?”’ 

I advise parents never to correct or punish theif chil- 
dren when they (the parents) are angry. Cool off be- 
fore you presume to discipline the younger generation. 

Not long ago I met a cultured woman who had 
“gone to pieces’ over the fact that her sister, who 
lived with her, was always biting her finger-nails; the 
whole affair being only proof that both women were 
highly nervous and uncontrolled. 

One of the worst cases of nervous prostration I 
have seen in years was brought on by the collapse of 
a social climber. The climax came when her rival 
started some derogatory gossip about her. Following 
a personal encounter, with its emotional accompani- 
ments, our patient took to her bed and will probably 
remain there for a few months. | 

It is a wise person who can journey through life and 
attempt the conquest of reasonable difficulties without 
undertaking too much—without attempting the impos- 
sible. Good judgment is an important factor in human 
happiness. Discretion is often the better part of valor. 

Our over-developed vanity and pride are at the bot- 
tom of many of our unseemly emotional sprees. / We 
can’t expect to soar to the heights without sometimes 


, 


SECRETS OF EMOTIONAL CONTROL 245 


getting a fall. You know the old proverb says: ‘Pride 
goeth before a fall.” 


3. Psycuic ADJUSTMENT AND READJUSTMENT 


-* We can’t expect to go through life and escape alto- 


gether the experience of self-abasement.* We can't 
reasonably expect always to be “on the top of the 
heap.” Nevertheless, too much of this is fatal to hap- 
piness. One can’t afford to remain in an environment 
that keeps one forever “ground down” and oppressed. 
Better make a change for a while and be a “‘big fish in 
a little puddle” than always the “‘little fish in the big 
pond.” Don’t allow yourself to be brow-beaten too 
long. A little suffering of this sort may be good dis- 
cipline, but if too long continued, it sours the soul and 
kills ambition. | 

Sooner or later this “‘slavish’”’ sort of life begets an 


“inferiority complex,” which is incompatible with nor- 


mal happiness and destructive of the joys of self-asser- 
tion and elation.* Learn to be a “good loser.” 

But do not go to the other extreme and seek re- 
venge. Joy attends the forgiving spirit, while sorrow 
and regret are the final rewards of all who allow their 
better natures to be ravaged by the barbarous desire 
for personal vengeance. I know a beautiful girl who 
has “got it in” for one of her associates in the office. 
She feels that this other woman has received favors, 
compliments, and promotions which rightfully belong 
to her—because of her longer service for the company. 
She says her rival is haughty and disdainful and that 


she snubs her and otherwise slights and mistreats her 


*See Appendix for further discussion of this emotion. 


ty 


17 


246 How You CAN KEEP HAppy 


——and so this young woman has just dedicated her life 
to “getting even” with her enemy. She is on the verge 
of a nervous breakdown because of this hatred. 

The more experience I have, the more I am con- 
vinced that idleness predisposes most of us to these 
emotional sprees. ‘The Creator certainly designed that 
man should keep busy. The anatomists tell us he was 
not even made to sit down. He was made to stand up 
to work and lie down to rest. However that may be, 
Jam more and more convinced that healthy activity, 
useful employment, constant diversion, variety of ac- 
tivity—these are the things that help us eliminate these 
emotions and find that satisfaction of self-expression 
which prevents emotional sprees or nervous blow-ups 
on the one hand, and alcoholic sprees on the other. 

When the mind is idle and the body is inactive, the 
brain gets to traveling in circles, and all the while phys- 
ical and nervous energy accumulates, until presently 
the explosion point is reached and something is bound 
to happen. Of course, if we have a lowered nerve 
tone and are already suffering from brain fag and 
neurasthenia, this is made worse, and it is a very simple 
and easy matter to blow up on the least provocation; 
but I should like to strongly emphasize the fact that 
the less one has to do mentally and physically, the more 
likely they are to fall into this chronic habit of periodic 
emotional sprees. Activity, still better, useful employ- 
ment, is the one great remedy without which all other 
remedies are likely to fail. 

Our natural instincts,* whether they be hunger, sex, 
or of another nature, cannot be obliterated: they can- 


*See Appendix for further study of instincts, 


‘ ‘ 
am 7 
ee ; 


SECRETS OF EMOTIONAL CONTROL 247 


not be permanently dammed back; they must, sooner 
or later, find adequate, legitimate, and wholesome self. 
expression. 

The practice of self-control does not mean that we 
are to formulate taboos and otherwise seek to dodge 
our instincts and emotions by denying them; but that 
we are to seek for an understanding as to how they 
may be properly controlled, safely expressed, and 
wholesomely guided. 

And when it comes to the battle with instinct we 
should remember that each individual represents a long 
line of human inheritance. The hereditary determin- 
ers for brain cells, nerve tissues, and ductless glands 
run away back, and not a little of the struggle that we 
must go through to become captains of our own souls 
is determined by the biologic laws of inheritance oper- 
ating many decades before we ever saw the light of 
day. 


4. TancLep EmMorions—CrossED WIRES 


Now this question of emotional elimination is a big 
one when it comes to its practical application, and one 
that would fill a whole book by itself if we tried to go 
into detail, but perhaps we can illustrate it best by tak- 
ing an actual case. Here is a man 25 years of age. 
He is not well; he is nervous; more or less depressed. 
He was active and athletic when he was younger but 
in the last three or four years he has about quit play- 
ing. He has worked pretty hard until the last year, 
and now is beginning to lose interest in his work. He 


had quite a religious training when he was a youth, but 


he has lost faith in most of it, and has quit going to 
church. In fact, he has about given up everything per- 


248 How You CAN KEEP HAppy 


taining to religion. He has a good moral training and 
in his earlier years bravely controlled his sex urges, 
but in the last few years he has begun to wabble on 
this. He is all mixed up—as he himself described it— 
“all balled up.” 

Now what are we going to do with a case like this? 
We recognize that all these primary urges or instincts 
are legitimate, but as we have said, they need to be 
controlled, not necessarily suppressed. Well, this is 
how we go about it: We recognize that there are four 


great and universal avenues for self-expression or emo- 


tional elimination, and they are work, play, religion, 
and sex, and when I use the word sex in this connec- 
tion I use it in a very broad sense—lI use it in its spir- 
itual and social aspects, as well as in its more com- 
monly restricted meaning. 

What we are aiming at in a case like this is a well- 
balanced life. We want his work and play to be bal- 
anced. We want him to get enthusiastic about both; 
to talk to himself until he can sense the importance of 
a new interest in his work, and then come to see that 
he should vary the monotony of his occupation by 
daily relaxation, play, and recreation; and then we try 


to get him to take a sane and sensible view of religion; — 


not necessarily theology. We are very careful about 
what we ask him to believe to start with. In fact, I 
reckon that my patients are going to be able to elimi- 
nate their spiritual emotions if they believe in two 
fundamental truths: first, a Supreme Being or Power 
of some sort; and second, a hereafter of some kind. 
If I can persuade one of these emotionally repressed 
persons to start with me on these two points, I will take 
my chances on getting them fixed up in their spiritual 


SECRETS OF EMOTIONAL CONTROL 249 


life (from a health standpoint) as time goes on. From 
a medical standpoint just these two things are essential 
to getting the spiritual or religious emotional channels 
to working; and then we have to get right down to 
brass tacks and help them hx up their sex life, help 
them to understand their own feelings and emotions 
and what to do about controlling and adjusting their 
natural biologic urges along this line; and here we have 
to work out a reciprocal working arrangement between 
sex and religion just as we had to formulate a balanced 
working program for work and play. 

We don’t accomplish anything if we allow these 
people in their effort to get along with their sex in- 
stincts, to infringe upon their religious convictions, and 
here is just where the personal equation comes in. We 
have to take up each person and help them in accord- 
ance with their training, their conscience, their ethics, 
and moral standards; we have to deal with them in 
accordance with their inherent physical nature, and it is 
in this very realm that conscience makes us so much 
trouble—conscience—which always tells us to do right 
but never tells us what right is; which some people 
come to think of as the voice of God to the soul, but 


which is largely a psychologic creation and one that is 


susceptible of education and training. 

At any rate, these two problems must be worked eut. 
We have to find a formula for each individual that 
will advise him to be good and live in accordance with 
his conscientious convictions, and at the sametAime, not 
be sick as the result of such righseou 

It is dificult to go into all the details of Heck prob- 
lems because they are so highly personal. ‘They have 
to be solved for each individual. Every normal person 


eee 


250 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


must go through this struggle some time or other in | 


his life, and if it is bravely faced and intelligently 
handled, a great deal of unhappiness and sorrow can 
be avoided. 


A few months ago I had an interesting experience | 


in the case of an unmarried woman, about 33 years 


of age, who was certainly suffering from tangled emo- | 


tions and repression of instincts. It was a pitiful case. 


She had lost interest in life itself. The first thing we | 


did was to put her to work. She had not worked for 
eighteen months. It was a two months’ battle to get 


her back on the job. By the end of the third month — 
we had her playing. She didn’t like to play at first, 
but after six weeks of golf and other recreational ac- | 
tivities, she began to get back into the swing and then’ _ 


the real battle began. 


She, at one time, had been very religious, but had — 
given it all up as superstition, and now came the task — 


of getting her to crystalize her religious emotions, in 
a simple and childlike fashion, around a few funda-_ 


mental beliefs so that she could begin to derive com- 
fort and satisfaction from them; but she did it. She 
was willing to believe three things; first, that there is 
a Supreme Being; second, that there is a hereafter of 


some kind; and third, that Jesus Christ was an extraor-_ 
dinary being of some sort—yes, she was willing to 


accept Him as the Son of God. She had many reser- 
vations about this point, but it was enough to get her — 
started, and within a few weeks she began to pray ina 


simple fashion. She didn’t pray as she did formerly 
—that is, ask the Supreme Being for this, that, and the 
other thing, but she prayed, she said, as a sort of com- 


munion. And she said one morning—*I think I pray — 


SECRETS OF EMOTIONAL CONTROL 251 


now as a bird sings. I just want to express myself in 
that way. I really am beginning to enjoy life and I 
just feel like telling someone | am glad I am living.” 

From that time on I never bothered about her any. 
more. She managed her own program, and where 
religion is going to lead her, I don’t know. She may 
join a church some time. I am not concerned, in a 
medical way, as to where religion takes her. My 
purposes were accomplished when I got her started. 
Then the problem of her sex and social life came up, 
and we were able to work out a satisfactory solution, a 
program that provided elimination of her social emo- 
tions, and one that was in every way consistent with 
her religious standards and spiritual convictions. 

In other words, we had to work out a reciprocal, 
balanced, arrangement between ethics and society, be- 
tween religion and sex. What has happened? ‘This 
patient sleeps well, and is gaining in flesh and in nine 
months from the time the battle was begun, she 1s a 
happy, normal, efficient woman. Of course, I don't 
say we always have so easy a time solving these prob- 
lems. We don’t usually work out such transformations 
in less than a year, but this is a fairly typical case and 
many others come out just as well if we give them a 
little more time. 

It does require time to make these changes and, ad- 
justments, to re-educate the mind, and develop decision. 
Really, after all, it is largely a question of common 
sense, the avoidance of extremes. We must recognize 
the many-sidedness of human nature and accept the 
principle that while our biologic urges cannot be sup- 
pressed, they can and must be controlled. They can 
be coordinated, there must be a harmonized blending 


fe How You CAN KEEP Happy 


of the whole—one phase of our emotions must not 
be allowed to overrun us and override all others and 
dominate us to our own hurt and to the suppression of 
equally important emotions. 

Practically regarded, it is a problem of proper co- 
ordination between work and play, and between sex 
and religion, and it is indeed interesting to see how 
play rests us from work and prepares us for the strug- 
gles of the next day, and how work makes us long for 
play and gives zest to our recreation. 

It is also interesting in this connection to note that 
the sex and religious emotions are aroused in human 
beings at about the same time, that is, at adolescence. 
At the very time the sex nature is unfolded, that is 
also the time, as psychologic investigations have shown, 
when the religious nature begins to develop. There 
seems to be some design on the part of old Mother 
Nature in having these two tremendous impulses 
aroused concurrently, for as we all know, sex is such 
a tremendous urge that there is no other emotion that 
can counterbalance or control it except that equally 
strong and powerful force which we call religious con- 
viction. It is certainly significant, something more 
than accidental, that these two phases of human nature 
should be brought forth and allowed to manifest them- 
selves at about the same time. 


5. Tue TEcuHNIc oF EMOTIONAL CONTROL 


While we cannot escape from our emotions, we can 
learn to control and manipulate them. For instance, 
an individual can see to it that he does not neglect 
religion on the one hand, nor become a religious 
fanatic on the other. We can see to it that we do not 


SECRETS OF EMOTIONAL CONTROL 253 


become cold and indifferent to our loved ones, nor 
indulge in such affection that it tends to weaken and 
debilitate our’ character. We can form a dislike for 
things ugly without indulging in excessive hate. We 
can experience indignation in the presence of sin with- 
out indulging in violent outbursts of anger. In other 
words, we can learn to become temperate in our emo- 
tional life and that is simply another way of saying 
that we have learned self-control. 

We can show that we have courage to tackle our 
nerves. We do not have to go at this problem of self- 
control like a child. Let us be men and women. Make 
up your mind that you will refuse any longer to have 
nervous fits just because you can’t have your own way. 

We can learn how to have self-confidence without 
being guilty of carrying about a swelled head. We » 
can practice reasonable humility without falling into 
those habits of self-depreciation that make us unfit to 
mingle with our fellows and achieve success in our 
wordly careers. We can learn to appreciate the beau- 
tiful, and to enjoy things lovely and artistic without, 
on the other hand, becoming victims of ultra-disgust 
as we stand in the presence of things ugly and in- 
artistic. 

It is not necessary that our emotions should inter- 
fere with our happiness, on the one hand, or jeop- 
ardize our health on the other. We can learn to re- 
strain our natural instincts and strong emotions without 
going to those extremes of suppression and denial 
which contribute to either temperamental explosions 
or nervous breakdowns. 

We can learn to indulge the imagination, even to 
day-dream, without becoming victims of imaginary 


254 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


disorders, fictitious diseases, and other trumped up 
nervous vagaries. We do not have to become cold 
blooded and, in the language of the street, “hard 
boiled,” in order to avoid becoming victims of hys- 
teria and neurasthenia. 

We can crave sympathy, desire companionship, and 
seek human associations, without going so far as to 
indulge in hysterical gyrations and nervous fits, in order 
to secure an audience—to secure attention and sym- 
pathy. We can strive for some real achievement in 
life that will attract attention, and not depend on a 
nervous breakdown to get the good will and solicitous 
sympathy of our families and friends. 

Capitalize your strong points, and thus seek to se- 
cure the compliments of your friends and neighbors; 
instead of stooping to capitalize your illness, your ner- 
vous weakness, in order to gain their attention and 
sympathy. 

If you have wabbly nerves you cannot run away 
from them. There is no need of taking a vacation. 
A trip to California will not cure you. You are up 
against the plain proposition of acquiring self-control 
—that is all there is to it. Doctors, remedies, cure- 
alls, and what not, will not avail. 

Gird yourself for battle, prepare to take up the 
struggle and “fight it out on this line” of improving 
your self-control “if it takes all summer’—and all 
winter. 

And so this struggle with one’s nerves, after all, 
turns out to be a question of the strength of the moral 
nature. The whole nervous battle is in reality a char- 
acter struggle. We are all engaged in it. It is a 
struggle which none of us can dodge. 


. 


SECRETS OF EMOTIONAL CONTROL 255 


The normal, average person wages the battle with- 
out much ado, whereas the victim of spoiled nerves, 
the neurotic individual, makes a great hullabaloo out 
of this normal fight of life and seeks to attract undue 
attention to himself by the fuss he makes over these 
commonplace struggles with his primitive nature—with 
his biologic instincts and natural emotions. 

You nervous folks must get over the idea of being 
distinctive. Give up the notion of out-doing the other 
fellow, and settle down to the business of living with 
yourself as you are and the world as it is. Nervous 
folks should remember that every human being has to 
grow up and learn self-mastery. 

You must not waste all your mental efforts trying 
to banish undesirable thoughts. Bad thoughts are like . 
“squatters” —they think they hold title by right of pos- 
session. Devote your mental efforts to positive think- 
ing—choose your thoughts—select those ideas which 
you honestly and sincerely want to occupy and domi- 
nate your mind; and then give these new and favored 
ideas and emotions a life-long lease on your mind. 
Now, if you really mean what you have done, these 
new tenants will begin to move in and take possession 
of the mind, and they will eventually see to it that the 
old idea-tenants are put out and kept out. These new 
lease-holders will not long tolerate the objectionable 
presence of these old and troublesome thoughts and 
emotions. 


6. IMAGINATION IN THE PRACTICE OF SELF-CONTROL 


I find a great many nervous people are failing in 
their effort to achieve self-control because they are 
fighting ignorantly. They are trying to win the battle 


256 How You CAN KEEP HAppy 


by sheer force of will, by strength of resolution. Now, 
will power has its place, decision is absolutely essential 


to the conquest of disordered nerves, but many of these - 


nervous sufferers would make better progress if they 


would learn how to use the imagination; if they would — 
_ become more clever actors, if they would learn to sub- | 
stitute on themselves, to step out of their shoes, figura- - 
tively speaking, and for the time being make believe 
they are someone else; assume the role of the desirable 
individuals théy are trying to be, and for the time being 


| 


play that their old and undesirable selves are non-~ 


existent. 


So many nervous people are wearing themselves out 
fighting what I call sham battles. They use their imag- | 
inations for the purpose of framing up difficulties, ob- 


stacles, and other fictitious sorts of situations, and so 


they occupy all their time and energy trying to over- 


come and otherwise get around creations of their dis- 


eased imaginations. Now, we want you nervous folks 
to switch over from using your imaginations in this 
work of creating fictitious troubles and fighting sham 


battles, and employ your imaginations so as to help 


yourselves out of the fix your nerves have gotten you 
into. | 

We want you to act just as an actor does on the 
stage ina play. We want you to make believe you are 
what you want to be and then act the part. All you 
nervous folks have imaginations; there have been many 
times in your younger lives when you wanted to be 
actors or actresses, and now you have the chance. 
Settle in your minds just what you want to be and 
ought to be and then do a first class-job of acting. Do 
it so well, so impress your friends with your acting, that 


SECRETS OF EMOTIONAL CONTROL 257 


they will believe you are this new and superior person, 
just as you sometimes forget when you are at the 
theatre and for the time being really believe what you 
see on the stage is real. 

‘And this is the way you can use your imaginations 

‘to help you become such clever actors that you can 
really hasten your cure and help yourselves out of the 
nervous habits which have gotten such strong control 
over you. 

Self-control is not gained or best practiced by the ex- 
ercise of sheer force of will. When rightly understood 
and intelligently practiced, self-control does not require 

such a strenuous effort, and this is exactly the reason 
why many of you so often fail. Let us take, for ex- 
ample, the case of some neurotic individual who is 
‘seized with a strong impulse to say or do a certain 
thing, something which his better nature tells him is 
unwise. Now, in his mind he says: “I wish to do this 
thing but [ shall control myself; I will not do it.’ This 
is the usual procedure in the effort to acquire self- 
control. 

_ Not understanding a better method for controlling 

\and antidoting impulses, the better self permits the im- 

‘pulse to go on through the mind, to traverse the nerves, 

jand to reach the muscles, and then on the very eve of 

‘the execution of the act—after the body is all set to 

do the thing you wish to do—then the moral self inter- 
|venes and seeks to countermand these orders to the 

‘muscular system, and usually does so by setting in oper- 

{ation a contrary impulse which passes to an opposing 

| group of muscles, and very often the act is prevented. 

_ Now it must be apparent to the reader that this is 

‘an exceedingly wasteful and extravagant method of 


258 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


practicing self-control. The better way would have 
been to have “nipped the impulse in the bud;” to have 
stopped the undesirable wish in the making. 

Nervous people must come to see that it is their 
thinking that needs to be controlled more than their 
acting, or, to put it differently, that they need to cons 


trol the reacting to their thinking, to prevent unt 
desirable and unhealthy reactions to even their own ; 


thoughts, feelings, and emotions. 
The result of all this tardy and bungling effort at 
self-control is that opposing sets of muscles are set the 


one against the other, there is an inordinate tension of — 


both nerves and muscles, various groups of muscles 
pulling and working against each other; there is, ob- 


viously, an intense mental and physical conflict going 
on, and as the result of all this unusual effort the ner- 


vous sufferer may indeed be able to hold in check some 


overt act. But see how much good vital energy has 
been wasted. The physical strength is depleted and 
the nervous energy is well-nigh exhausted. A great 


effort has been put forth with nothing advantageous 
to show for it. The worn-out individual, it is true, may 


congratulate himself on his superb self-control, but he 
is, nevertheless, greatly exhausted as the result of his 
needless efforts, and is much disconcerted by the inordi- 
nate fatigue which never fails to put in its appearance — 


as a result of these ‘“‘sham battles.” 


The human nervous mechanism may be compared to 
a city telephone exchange, with its central operator, 
sub-stations, etc. The economical method of practic- 
ing self-control is to kill impulses at their origin, to de- 


stroy wishes as they are born, to control mis-thinking 
and imagination at their sources. 


SECRETS OF EMOTIONAL CONTROL 259 


If you want to control an impulse which 1s con- 
stantly leading you to wrong acts, you want to estab- 
lish your censor at the central telephone exchange. 
That is the place to kill the impulse, before you begin 
conscious and muscular reaction to it. In other words, 
tthe economical method of attaining self-control is to 
prevent exhausting and weakening reactions to undesir- 
able impulses. If you do not form the habit of killing 
these impulses as they arise in the mind, you will not 
only be worn out by action and reaction after they have 
gained access to the muscles, but you will fail in your 
efforts because these slight but undesirable impulses 
will merely wait some more convenient time when your 
better self is off its guard, and then they will steal 
across the threshold, flash to the muscles, and you will 

find yourself automatically — unconsciously — acting; 
that is, habitually reacting to your impulses by doing 
the very thing you so honestly resolved never to do 
again. 

Now, the way to get at this is not to say, “T wish 
to do something, but I will not do it; I will control it;” 
but rather go right back in your mind, dig up the soil, 
plant the seed, and cultivate a new habit of thinking; 
really, actually, and honestly change your desires, 
change your viewpoint, make up your mind on this one 
thing and bring yourself where you can honestly say, 

“T will not wish to do it, and therefore I will not.” 

That is what we mean by “nipping impulses in the 
bud,” killing them while they are ‘‘a-bornin’.” ~ 

Mrue self-control, then, consists in changing the | 
mind, in mastering the art of making up the mind, in & 
controlling desire at its fountain-head, in preventing ) 
the full birth and expression of an undesirable wish. ~ 


j 


260 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


Ideally, self-control becomes the triumph of the bet- 
ter self over desire. It is most successfully practiced 
by the deliberate and premeditated control of our 
wishing—the disciplining of our supposed desires and 
wants. 


7. Tue MIscHIer oF UNCONTROLLED THINKING 


The trouble with a lot of nervous folks is that they 
allow their thinking and imagination to run wild. Their 
brain is a spoiled child, their desires know no discl- 
pline, their impulses are wild and rowdy, their emo- 
tions charge through the mind and overflow into the 
body with the abandon of a flock of bandits. 

Now you cannot take such unregulated minds and 
such uncontrolled nerves and start out to control the 
body in the presence of such a chaotic state of mind. 
You cannot make the body act in accord with the dic- 
tates of civilization, when the mind is in such a bar- 
barous and uncontrolled state. 

We must recognize that people are controlled by 
their hearts, by their desires, and not by their heads— 
by their intellects. This is recognized in the Scriptures, 
where we read that it is “out of the abundance of the 
heart that the mouth speaketh.” We are asked to 
“love the Lord with all our hearts; we are further 
told that as a ‘man thinketh in his heart, so is he; 


and even the Wise Man said that “a a | heart 


doeth good like a medicine.” 

It is a question of heart-felt affection, hese felt de- 
votion, heart-felt conviction, that we are dealing with 
and when we start out to conquer nerves, success 
depends on heart-felt resolution, heart-felt reconcilia- 
tion with the decision to quit doing those things which 
make us nervous and keep us sick. 


SECRETS OF EMOTIONAL CONTROL 261 


It makes no difference whether the basis of our ner- 
yousness is suppression, repression, sensitiveness, pain- 
ful self-consciousness, the “feeling of our feelings,” de- 
pressive moods; or whether our nervousness consists 
‘1 some sort of “defense reaction” which we are in- 
stinctively putting up to our feelings of inferiority or 
what not. Whatever our feeling is at the mental core, 
that is where it must be remedied. 

Our emotions must be brought under the control of 
our real selves, our moral selves. We must learn to 
deal with emotions and feelings, not with actions and. 
habits. First set the impulses right, and in time your 
acts will be under the control of your new desires. 

Nervous sufferers need to develop a real passion for 
truth, a master sentiment for facts. 

In human experience, our strongest wishes flow from 
our most profound sentiments and convictions, and if 
the desire to know the truth about yourself becomes 
the guiding sentiment of your soul, then you will be 
enabled quickly to gain control of all your reactions to 
false feelings, unhealthy impulses, and enslaving emo- 
tions. 

It is all right to say, in one’s mind, “Day by day, in 
every way, I’m getting better and better,” etc. ‘That 
is a helpful state of mind. But when we are confronted 
with the mastery of emotions and nerves, we are face 


to face with a condition, not merely a theory. We 
“must know how to control our acts one by one, as well 


- 


as to suggest to ourselves, “Day by day, (ete: 

The mastery of nerves requires the development of 
stamina, the acquirement of self-control, the increase 
of our personal power over our own conduct, and this 
is done not only by thinking but by acting. We are face 

18 


- 262 .. How You CAN KEEP HApPpy 


to*face with the problem of controlling, changing, and 
directing our reactions to both our thinking and our 
environment. Everything depends on the way we 
react and not merely on the way we think about our 
difficulties. 


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AP PEN DT 


HUMAN EMOTIONS, INSTINCTS AND 
SENTIMENTS 


1. Primary INSTINCTS AND EMmMoTIons* 


Every human being is born into this world fully equipped with 
a set of inherent instincts and every inherited instinct is accom- 
panied by a well-defined feeling or emotion. While psychologists 
have only recently begun to study this question of instinct and 
emotion, and while there may be some difference of opinion as to 
what really constitutes a primary inherent instinct, nevertheless, 
I think most psychologists will agree with the following classifica- 
tion of primary instincts and their accompanying emotions; 


Primary Instincts Primary Emotions 
1. Flight Fear 
2. Repulsion Disgust 
3. Curiosity Wonder 
4. Self-assertion Elation 
5. Self-abasement Subjection 
6. Parental Tenderness 
7. Reproduction Sex-hunger 
8. Nutrition Hunger 
9. Gregariousness Security 
10. Acquisition \ Hoarding 
11. Construction Pride of creation 
12. Pugnacity Anger 


We must abandon the modern belief that instincts are the 
Creator’s gift to animals to atone for their lack of intelligence; 
that as man advances intellectually he loses his instincts—becomes 
more and more free from all instinctive tendencies. Animal in- 
stincts do not disappear with racial advancement, they remain with 


*In general, I am disposed to adhere to the psychology of instincts 
and emotions as advocated by William McDougal, and I am indebted 
to this author for many suggestions included in this discussion. Not 
all psychologists are agreed that we can always distinguish an instinct 
by its accompanying emotion. 


265 


266 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


us and proceed to make mischief for us unsuspecting mortals when 
they are not properly understood or adequately controlled. 

Before we can accept an impulse as a primary or inherent 
instinct, we must find it uniformly present in the instinctive 
behavior of the higher animals. We should also observe its exag- 
geration in those human beings who are mentally unbalanced— 
abnormally controlled—and who would, therefore, be expected to 
exhibit more of a tendency to be under the control of their racial 
instincts as compared with intelligence and reason. 

It will now be in order to examine briefly these primary emo- 
tions: 

1. Fear. Fear is the emotion associated with the inherent 
instinct of fight. ‘You are more or less familiar with the old argu- 
ment as to whether people run because they are scared or are 
frightened because they are running. Both the biologist and 
psychologist seem inclined to believe that we are frightened because 
of our flight, but no matter as to the technicality of this argument, 
the simple facts in the case are that even though we may instinc- 
tively flee from danger and then have fear aroused in our minds 
as we proceed with the flight—I say, practically speaking, we don’t 
run very far until our fear directly contributes to the acceleration 
of our speed. 

The thing works both ways when it is once initiated. While 
the emotion may be initiated by the instinct, when it is once 
aroused, it serves greatly to augment the instinctive tendency. 

Fear, when thoroughly aroused, produces that terror which 
leads to concealment; an effort to avoid danger by hiding. Fear 
leads us first to flee—then to hide. It is the most lasting, most 
indelible of all human emotions, and is the one emotion that seems 
to seize control of both mind and body in no uncertain fashion. 

The emotion of fear invariably accompanies the instinct of 
flight—the desire to flee from danger, but, when this fear is pro- 
found and overwhelming, it sometimes paralyzes the power of 
flight, when it is so profound as to result in terror. So we see 
that when fear is overdone leading to terror—it defeats itself. 

While fear is instinctive, not all our early fears are inherited. 
All young infants are frightened by but two things: The fear of 
falling and the hearing of sudden loud and shrill noises. Practi- 
cally all other fears they acquire by suggestion and association. 
Young children are not at first afraid of snakes, hairy animals, etc. 

In regard to the child’s fear of noises, attention should be called 
to the fact that it is the thunder associated with the storm that 
frightens the child, not the lightning. 


APPENDIX 267 


Even young children are commonly regarded as having different 
sorts of crying to designate various states of mental anguish and 
physical suffering—at least most mothers feel that such is the 
case. 

When certain individuals cover their heads with the bed cloth- 
ing during a storm, they are but exhibiting that inherent instinct 
for concealment subsequent to fleeing from danger. 

Fear is not a result of any process of intelligent reason or 
judgment. A young child may be terrorized with fear by the sight 
of its own father down on the floor “playing bear.” It well knows 
its father will do it no harm, but it easily succumbs to the arousal 
of its instinctive fear emotions. 

Because of the lasting impression which the fear emotion makes 
upon the human mind and memory, it becomes, not only the one 
great influence which admonishes us to control our selfish behavior 
and curb our egoistic tendencies; but it also becomes the funda- 
mental cause for much of our needless anxiety and the starting 
point for many of our imaginative psychic dreads and functional 
nervous disorders. 

Fear is fatal to human happiness under conditions of modern 
civilization. Worry is chronic fear and is the arch-demon of all 
the hosts of joy-killers. 

The only known cure for fear is faith. It requires courage— 
stamina—to control this inherent tendency to succumb to the 
fearful emotions. 

2. Disgust. Disgust is the emotion associated with the in- 
stinct of repulsion and is aroused by bad tastes and smells. ilk 
seems to be especially stimulated by the observation of slimy crea- 
tures such as snakes and lizards. It no doubt lies at the bottom 
of the development of the aesthetic taste in primitive man and 
unquestionably constitutes the inherent urge which propels modern 
civilized people along the lines which lead them to look for the 
beautiful. There is little doubt but that repulsion and disgust lie 
at the very bottom of our artistic thoughts and actions. 

As our intellectual development has progressed, we come to 
associate this emotion of disgust with people who are for some 
reason offensive to our standards and ideals. It is a common 
expression to hear, of some person who is repulsive in his: appear- 
ance or personality, that “he makes me sick.” 

Thus we see that disgust is an emotion which may become 
associated with food, surroundings, animals, and even human 
beings, and if allowed to gain a large place in one’s mental life it 
is certain to become responsible for much uneasiness and unhappi- 


268 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


ness. If we are going to become over-sensitive to all the trifling 
things we happen to dislike in our associates, we are doomed to 
suffer most keenly from such a state of mind. 

3. Wonder. Wonder is the emotion associated with the 
instinct of curiosity. It is, after a fashion, a sort of incipient fear. 
No doubt this is the emotion, together with its foundation instinct 
of curiosity, that leads to invention, adventure, and exploration. 

The wonder emotion—the -curiosity instinct—is strong in both 
animals and children. It is peculiarly active in monkeys. Who 
has not observed animals in the pasture approach cautiously some 
strange object lying on the ground, and then shy away in fear, only 
to return again further to satisfy their curiosity? If wonder is 
over-excited it is transformed frankly into fear. 

Undoubtedly this sort of curiosity and wonder constitute the 
foundations of our scientific researches and religious speculations. 
The hunting instinct is probably another manifestation of this same 
inherent curiosity, augmented by hunger and other associated emo- 
tions. Here is an emotion which can contribute to our happiness 
or lead us into endless trouble—all depending on how we control it. 

4. Elation. Elation is the emotion aroused by indulging the 
instinct of self-assertion. It is the emotion behind all our ten- 
dencies and efforts at self-display. It is the positive element of 
self-consciousness. It is particularly exemplified in the character- 
istic swagger of the male and the vanity of the female, and is an 
emotion undoubtedly responsible for much of the conduct that goes 
by the name of bravery. 

In the animal world we see this emotion in action as a spirited 
horse lifts high his hoofs and tenses every muscle in his body as he 
prances around on parade. It is shown in the spreading tail of 
the peacock, and the strutting of the mother hen in the presence of 
her chicks. 

We find this same primitive and innate instinct coming to the 
front in certain cases of the human insane. Softening of the brain 
is sometimes accompanied by “delusions of grandeur”—the unfor- 
tunate individual becoming the victim of a boastful and insane 
elation. 

Elation—self-assertion—is essential to human happiness. While 
over-exaggeration of one’s ego invariably leads to trouble and 
more or less sorrow and unhappiness; nevertheless, a reasonable 
indulgence of self-display and the enjoyment of average self-expres- 
sion are indispensable to good health and happiness. 

Human beings just must have an opportunity to “show off’— 
at least in moderation—in order to be happy. Even the young 


aa 


APPENDIX 269 


child is observed to emerge from his bashful hiding behind his 
mother’s apron, and, after turning a somersault, inquire of the 
stranger: “Can you do that?” We are all more or less like the 
children, who as they “show off’—say: “Watch me do this.” 
There is joy in performance. We are happy when in action. We 
are unhappy when we are denied the opportunity to indulge in 
some sort of self-assertion with its accompanying emotion of 
elation. 

5. Subjection. Subjection is in contrast with elation, and is 
associated with the instinct of self-abasement. It is the negative 
side of self-consciousness and represents that slinking, crest-fallen 
behavior that is so often mistakenly called humility. In some 
abnormal and morbid individuals this is carried to the point where 
these souls. conceive themselves as being guilty of all sorts of 
crimes and misdemeanors. This is the emotion lying at the bottom 
of our “inferiority complexes.” 

Among animals, the dog exhibits the most profound develop- 
ment of this subjective emotion as he crawls along on his belly 
with his tail tucked away between his legs—in the presence of a 
larger dog or a chiding master. 

This is the emotion which becomes the basis of shame in the 
human species. Shame and pride presuppose the existence of 
self-consciousness and since this is a state of mind denied the 
animal world, these more complex emotions are purely human. 
But the animals do share with man these rudimentary emotions of 
elation and subjection. 

6. Tenderness. "Tenderness is the name which has been given 
to those feelings connected with the parental instinct. It is the 
foundation of the protective impulse. That is, the impulse to pro- 


tect the young, the weak, and the helpless. It becomes the source 


of most of our moral indignation and when thoroughly aroused it 
is closely allied to the emotion of anger. Nothing will so arouse 
the indignation of the normal human being as to see an inhuman 
wretch torture and abuse a weak and helpless child. 

This emotion of tenderness is the biologic explanation of all 
true altruism. This tender emotion is peculiarly shown in the 
maternal instinct for the care and protection of the young which 
is common to the females of all the higher animals. 

This emotion of tenderness is associated with the love and 
devotion of parents for their offspring and is the first instinct we 
have discussed which lends itself to the preservation of the species. 
Most of our inherent instincts are designed to protect the in- 
dividual, but the emotion of tenderness aids in species survival. 


270 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


Some species of apes are said to carry their young about clasped 
in the mother’s arms for months—never giving up the young ape 
for a single moment. 

This tender emotion is weaker in the male. The fact that the 
male individual in the human species has any of this sort of 
maternal solicitude for the young is probably due to the fact that 
many traits of one sex are in rudimentary form inherited by the 
other sex. The females of «many animals have abortive horns, 
while the males of many species have rudimentary breasts. This 
sort of criss-cross inheritance between the sexes probably explains 
how man comes to have more or less of this tender, maternal-like 
instinct and emotion for the young. 

Under certain customs of the Roman Courts it was observed 
that sons would appear against their fathers—but never did fathers 
appear against their sons. One of the Ten Commandments ad- 
monishes the child to honor its parents, but it was not necessary 
to have a commandment exhorting parents to love their children— 
Nature provided fully for that in the parental instinct and the 
accompanying tender emotion. 

The urge of the human mother to kiss her child is probably a 
manifestation of the tendency of mothers among the higher animals 
to lick their offspring. | 

This tender emotion is the basis of all our Good Samaritan 
work, and the foundation of all efforts and laws designed to pro- 
tect the weak against exploitation and abuse by the strong. 

The emotion of tenderness is a source of much joy and real 
self-satisfaction. Everything associated with the indulgence of this 
emotion makes for our highest happiness—provided we do not 
over-exercise this instinct, provided we do not cultivate our tender 


“Sey 


regard for the weak and helpless to that point where we generate > 


sympathy to such an extent that it becomes positively painful. 

When over-developed, our tender emotions may thus become 
responsible for no small amount of incipient sorrow and painful 
pity and so, in the end, prove the source of real unhappiness. But 
as normally experienced, tenderness is the source of much of our 
highest happiness and our most sublime joy. 

7. Sex-hunger. Sex-hunger is the emotion aroused by, and 
associated with, the inherent instinct of reproduction. It is a source 
of a great deal of human jealousy. It is the emotion that underlies 
the mating instinct, and it impels and directs that interesting im- 
Pulse to courtship. It accounts for -both the aggressive social 
attitude of the male and the characteristic coyness and shyness of 
the female. 


APPENDIX 271 


In the case of the better natures in the human species, the sex 


‘urge is more or less intimately and innately associated with the 
parental instinct and its emotion of tenderness, all of which directly 


contributes to the development of that higher devotion and attach- 
ment we commonly call love. 
There can be little doubt but that we have in our sex emotions 


-an instinct that can be so used as to contribute enormously to the 
sum of human happiness; on the other hand, no one would question 


the fact that these emotions are some times so abused as to be the 
source of the greatest sorrow and grief. As concerns the average 


human being, the greatest joys and sorrows are locked up in the 


realms of this reproductive instinct and its associated sex emotions 
and attractions. 

No other primary emotion is capable of such beneficent use or 
such monstrous abuse and perversion. No other primitive instinct 
can contribute so much to human happiness when properly exer- 


cised; and likewise no other innate emotion can cause such suffer- 
ing and sorrow when over-indulged or otherwise perverted and 
_ abused. 


8. Hunger. Hunger is the emotion connected with the instinct 
of nutrition. The desire for food is one of the fundamental and 


strongest of all human instincts and the associated emotion of 


hunger is what leads to our hunting and feeding impulses. This is 
the emotion that is responsible for the development of the culinary 


and many other arts having to do with the preparation and preser- 


vation of food. 

There are few human instincts or emotions that we enjoy more 
heartily or frequently than the appeasing of the strong, normal 
appetite for food. 

The gratification of healthy hunger is one of the most profound 
of all human joys. A good appetite, if properly controlled and 
not over-indulged, is the source of never-ending happiness and 
pleasure. Like the sex emotions, hunger may be utilized for the 
production of joy or perverted and abused to such an extent as to 
become responsible for the keenest suffering and the acutest 
sorrow. . 

9. Security. Security is the emotion we feel when we yield to 
our inherent gregarious instinct. Man is naturally a herd animal. 
He feels safer when he is one of a crowd of his own fellows. This 
emotion of security is the well-spring of the impulse of self-preser- 
vation and when indulged, yields that feeling of safety which we 


experience as the result of companionship with those of our kind. 


Many animals, although they exhibit little or no affection for 


IAT How You CAN KEEP HAPpy 


one another, insist on remaining together in herds. Most human 
beings dread to be alone. Solitary confinement is regarded as the 
acme of punishment. Some of our nervous patients simply will 
not remain alone. We dearly like to congregate in throngs on the 
slightest pretense—a parade, or a football game—no matter what 
the excuse, mankind likes to revert to the associations of the herd. 

Many an unsocial being, while shunning the intimate personal 
contact with his fellows, neyertheless, sticks closely to the great 
city with its teeming thousands. 

The sense of security is essential to human happiness. No 
matter how little personal affection we may have for our im- 
mediate associates, we do not want to be alone. No matter how 
irritating our fellows may sometimes prove to be; nevertheless, we 
prefer to remain with the tribe. Man is a social being and his 
happiness requires that he enjoy mingling with his fellows. 

We can, of course, by means of diminished self-control, come to 
indulge in such anti-social conduct as to cause ourselves to be 
segregated from our fellows, and thus our isolation may become 
the source of much unhappiness and sorrow. In fact, we recognize 
that most of our primitive instincts can be so exercised as to con- 
tribute either to our happiness or unhappiness. Much depends 
upon our reaction to our emotions—our self-control. 

10. Hoarding. Hoarding is the emotion accompanying the 
instinct of acquisition. It is the urge to labor and leads to the 
endurance of hardship in an effort to accumulate food and other 
possessions we deem requisite to happiness and essential to the joy 
of living. When perverted, this impulse may lead to crime, theft, 
or may manifest itself after that peculiar fashion known as 
kleptomania. The squirrel who buries his nuts is a typical example 
of this hoarding instinct. 

In a former generation we forewent the pleasures of living in 
order to prepare for the blessings of heaven. Today heaven does 
not have such a hold on the popular imagination and so at the 
present time we find any number of people who are relentlessly 
pursuing wealth in order to have a vast estate which will minister 
to the pleasures and happiness of their children after they have 
departed this life. These things are more or less akin. ’ 

Those who deny themselves the pleasures of living in order to 
prepare for the joys of heaven, as well as those who strive and 
toil during this life to amass a fortune for their children of the 
next generation—I say, they are akin, in that they both have the 
essential idea of foregoing the pleasures of today for the sake of 
future rewards and enjoyments. 


APPENDIX 273 


To struggle all one’s lifetime to amass a fortune is not the road 
to human happiness; although a reasonable amount of this world’s 
‘goods is quite essential to the fullest enjoyment of health and 
happiness. 

11. Pride of creation. This is the emotion we experience as 
we view the results of our efforts to create, to construct things. 
It is a sort of creative self-satisfaction. It is the emotion asso- 
ciated with the constructive instinct. Every human being likes to 
work up raw material into some article of his own design, and it 
is this instinct which lies at the bottom of the manufacturing 
proclivities of the human species. Even children like to build 
things with their blocks, even as birds build their nests, beavers 
their dams, and ants their underground mansions. 

I doubt if any normal minded healthy human being can fully 
experience the joy of living unless he is engaged in some worth 
while pursuit—some sort of creative or constructive toil. ‘Thou- 
sands of men and women are supremely unhappy—and for no 
other reason than that they are inactive and comparatively idle. 

12. Anger. Anger is the emotion associated with the instinct 
of pugnacity. ‘This is an inherent instinct that seems to be aroused 
when anything obstructive is placed in the way of the exercise of 
our inherited instincts or the exercise of any of their associated 
emotions. This is the real basic instinct or emotion that makes 
man a fighting animal. It is the biologic explanation of war. 
While this is an instinct or emotion deficient in some females, it is 
present in a large degree in the average male. It is a sort of gen- 
eral defense reaction. “That is, when any of the inherent emotions 
are thwarted, the natural reaction is that of pugnacious resistance 
and there is aroused in connection with this behavior a reaction of 
more or less anger. 

What happens when you try to take a bone away from a dog? 
The best natured infant displays resentment if you interrupt his 
meal. All men resent any interference with the enjoyment of their 
pleasures. Even the strong emotion of fear will give way, to 
pugnacity and anger; for when the most timid animal is brought 
to bay—has its instincts of flight thwarted—it is apt to turn 
Viciously upon its pursuer. 

While we are entitled to that self-confidence, that desire to 
look out for our rights and privileges, which is compatible with 
average self-respect and self-esteem; it is unfailingly true that 
when we become over-bellicose and pugnacious, our emotion of 
anger can be depended upon to neutralize the joys of living and 
eventually to all but kill the very happiness for the promotion of 


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274 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 
| 


which our pugnacity has been over-exercised and our anger over-| 
indulged. Man is not truly happy and joyful when he is mad. | 

And so, of the twelve primary instincts and emotions, we | 
to see that only five are indispensable to happiness and they are: 
elation, tenderness, hunger, security, and pride of creation. Four| 
of these primary emotions are largely subversive of joy—are de- 
structive of happiness if much indulged, and they are: fear, disgust, 
subjection, and anger. ‘This leaves three primary emotions which, 
while they are not wholly essential to happiness are of assistangay 
when properly controlled, in promoting or adding to the joy of 
living, and they are: wonder, sex attraction, and hoarding. | 

Now, when we take any inherited instinct with its associated 
emotion, we have what might be properly called an hereditary 
impulse. | 

In this connection it should be explained that the terms pleasure 
and pain, like excitement and depression, are not in and of then 
selves emotions. ‘They are merely terms that are descriptive of 
varying degrees of emotion. 


II. SkEcoNDARY oR ComMposITE EMoTIONS 


And so we come to recognize that the human species is largely 
dominated by a group of twelve inherited emotions. Now, we) 
should next give attention to the manner in which these twelve 
inherited emotions can be combined, built up, or associated into 
secondary composite or acquired emotions. 

It is very interesting to observe how many secondary or com-. 
posite emotions can be built up out of a dozen sets of simple in- 
herited primary instincts and emotions; and of course, the farther 
away we get from these simple inherent emotions which we have 
in common with many of the lower animals—I say, the farther 
away we get from these simple hereditary and instinctive emotional 
reactions, the more difficult it becomes to fully analyze and thor- 
oughly understand the nature and working of these more complex 
and more definitely human emotional experiences. Man’s dom- 
inance in the scale of animal life is largely due to the fact that he 
has the capacity for the development of this larger group of more 
complex and component emotional reactions. 

It is not an easy task to find the proper words in our language 
to define or stand for these more highly complex feelings and 
emotions, and undoubtedly various authorities might suggest a 
somewhat different classification, but the following represents what 
to me seems to be a fairly comprehensive survey of this group of 
so-called secondary emotions. 


Secondary Emotions 
(Composite, acquired ) 


APPENDIX Ig hs 


Primary Components 
(Instinctive factors) 


1. Sympathy Tenderness + Sex + Security 

2. Admiration Wonder + Subjection + (Pride) 

3. Imitation Admiration + Security + (Vanity) 
4. Rivalry Elation +- Anger + (Envy) 

5. Vanity Elation + Sex + (Pride) 

6. Pride Elation + Hoarding + (Egotism) 
7. Gratitude Tenderness + Subjection + (Awe) 
8. Awe Fear + Admiration + (Subjection) 
9. Reverence Awe + Gratitude + (Spiritual Nature) 
10. Envy Anger + Subjection + (Pride) 

11. Remorse Anger + Revenge + (Subjection) 
12. Scorn Anger + Disgust + (Elation) 


Disgust + Elation + Vanity 
Fear + Disgust + (Rivalry) 
Elation + Some other emotions 


13. Contempt 
14. Aversion 
15. Courage 


Thus we see that we may employ our primary emotions much 
‘as we would words for the purpose of building up sentences, more 
full and comprehensive expressions of thought. As we progress in 
the scale of civilization our complexity of thought greatly in- 
‘creases and likewise our capacity for experiencing feelings, for 
giving origin to more complex emotions, and thus is the possibility 
for enjoying happiness or experiencing sorrow also augmented. 

Let us then more fully consider the composite nature of our 
“secondary or acquired emotions. 

i 1. Sympathy. Sympathy we observe to be based on the primary 
emotions of tenderness, sex, and security. This acquired emotion 
presupposes more or less love and devotion. It connotes an under- 
‘standing, to some degree at least, of human nature. It is the 
‘biologic and psychologic foundation for that state of mind that 
makes possible the promulgation of the Golden Rule. 
i Sympathy has its root in parental devotion, in sex attachment. 
and in that fellow-feeling toward the rest of the herd or tribe 
which makes us more secure in our personal existence. 

Sympathy implies suggestibility. Suggestion has much to do 
with our education through the channel of imitation. It is because 
of suggestion—that strange urge to do what others do and think 
‘what others think—that the animal herds stampede, all the dogs 
in the neighborhood join in a dog fight, and human beings become 

panic stricken and run amuck as a mob. 


276 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


Not only are our tender emotions sympathetically aroused by 
the sight of suffering or sorrow; but fear, anger, joy and laughter, 
are also highly contagious. Even curiosity is catching—witness the 
crowds gathered on the street corner, all gazing skyward—just 
because one or two persons first paused to behold something in the 
heavens. 

Practically all of our primary emotions can be excited by sug- 
gestion—sympathetically. Sometimes, in our efforts to indulge in 
self-assertion (to overcome our subjective tendencies) we develop 
a contrary state of mind—contra-suggestion. 

I am sure the reader cannot help but recognize the vast possi- 
bilities associated with emotional sympathy for weal or for woe as 
regards human happiness. Uncontrolled sympathy may plunge us 
into all sorts of over-solicitous anxiety and unnecessary worry. 
Normal sympathy invariably contributes to the sum of our happi- 
ness. 

2. Admiration. Admiration is built out of the primary in- 
stincts of wonder and subjection and is probably also associated 
with its fellow acquirement of pride. Unmistakably the feeling of 
admiration is also tinged with awe. It no doubt has a touch of 
both sympathy and love. When over-indulged, when carried too 
far, it may often terminate in envy. 

Curiosity leads to that investigation and inspection which, with 


its associated emotion of wonder, constitute the basis of admira- 
tion; and then when in the presence of our new discovery as we 


look upon it and observe certain elements of superiority, we are 
led to experience the emotion of subjugation, the expression of the 
inherent tendency towards self-abasement in the presence of 
superiority of force or being. Self-abasement is the source of our 
“inferiority complexes.” 

I doubt if the highly self-satisfied and conceited person is 
capable of genuinely admiring anything or anybody. And we must 
not overlook the fact that when we enlarge our capacity for 
admiration we at the same time increase our capacity for joy and 
happiness. 

3. Imitation. Imitation is founded primarily on the inherent 
emotion of security, the outgrowth of the instinct of gregarious- 
ness. ‘Tribal association is at the base of suggestion, and sugges- 
tion leads to imitation. The secondary emotion of admiration, as 
already defined, must of course enter into it, for we want to 
imitate only that which has first challenged our admiration. An- 
other secondary emotion which undoubtedly is a factor in imitation 
is that of vanity. 


APPENDIX LIT 


Imitation is the basis of our education, of our whole regime of 
industrial training, of our social acquirements and conventions. 
Imitation represents our conduct when we are engaged in accepting 
a suggestion. Imitation augments our feeling of social unity, and 
adds to our capacity for social cooperation. 

We have a variety of imitative behavior. The most common 
form is that based on sympathy as when we smile back in recogni- 
tion of the smiles bestowed upon us. Even animals flee and 
stampede for no other reason than that their fellows are similarly 
exercised. This sort of imitative conduct seems to be an outgrowth 
of the gregarious instinct and its emotion of security. 

Another phase of imitation is shown in the case of the child 
who tends to imitate the gestures or other behavior of someone 
who has excited his curiosity or admiration. Adults painstakingly 
imitate the technic of their more experienced and skillful superiors. 

We must recognize the necessity for controlling the imitative 
tendency so as to lead us in helpful directions. Carelessness re- 
garding this may cause us to drift in objectionable directions and 
result in causing us sorrow and regret. Suggestion is a powerful 
influence and we cannot ignore its possibilities for good and evil. 

4. Rivalry. Rivalry is founded on the two primary emotions 
of elation and anger. Elation, the emotion of self-assertive in- 
stinct, and anger, the feeling accompanying the instinct of 
pugnacity, lead to emotions of rivalry when they are just a bit 
further augmented by the secondary emotion of envy. 

Rivalry leads to emulation. There is undoubtedly a tinge of 
jealousy in it, and ofttimes of sex-consciousness. Rivalry is an 
important element in both pride and so-called patriotism. 

True rivalry is differentiated from anger in that the former 
does not seek to destroy its opponent. Rivalry is best illustrated 
by the playful fighting of young animals and by the lively and 
spirited contests between human beings in connection with our 
games and numerous out-door sports. This trait is strongly 
present in the American and most European peoples, but . only 
rarely manifested by Hindus and other Oriental races. 

If rivalry can be dominated largely by elation it will minister 
to our happiness; if anger is allowed to enter too largely into its 
composition, as a rule it will become a factor for unhappiness. It 
all depends on how we manage its flow and control its origin. 

5. Vanity. Vanity grows out of the primary emotions of 
elation and sex, plus those secondary feelings we commonly include 
in the term pride. We are vain because we enjoy the emotions of 


elation associated with the instinct of self-assertion, and vanity is 
19 


9d 


278 How You CAN KEEP HApPPpy 


peculiarly associated with the sex instinct in the female. In fact, 
in a way we might say that vanity is peculiar to the human female, 
though men may share this emotion to a lesser degree. 

Vanity, also, sometimes takes on the nature of self-directed 
pity, sympathy, and love; and when thus exercised it may become 
a source of much sorrow before we awaken to discover how much 
unhappiness can be generated by self-pity and over-much intro- 
spection. The simple vanity of the average woman is certainly 
harmless and altogether wholesome as a promoter of happiness. 

6. Pride. Pride we see is built upon the primary instinct 
foundation of elation and hoarding plus the psychic state of 
egotism. We are proud of and enjoy the elation associated with 
self-assertion. We are proud of our ability to accumulate, to 
hoard, and are conscious of the poise and power that come with 
possession. This element of pride is more distinctly a male emo- 
tion as contrasted with the vanity of the female. It has more to 
do with the masculine egotism, self-confidence, courage, bravery, 
and chivalry that goes with the male consciousness of superior 
physical power and endurance. 

We must not confuse the impulse or emotion of pride with 
normal and legitimate self-confidence—a sort of self-regarding 
sentiment. Again, we must not overlook the fact that pride of a 
certain sort may add much to the satisfaction of living; while if 
our ego becomes too highly exalted, we may find ourselves en- 
tangled in an unfortunate maze of psychic difficulties and social 
rebuffs that will effectively destroy our peace of mind and under- 
mine our happiness. 

7. Gratitude. Gratitude is composed of the primary instincts 
of tenderness and subjection tinged with some of the secondary 
emotion of awe. We can be influenced by gratitude in the first 
place because we are tender-hearted, and next, because we feel, in 
the presence of certain things or situations, more or less self- 
abasement, with its emotion of subjection. Then if the exhibition — 
of superiority is carried a bit farther so that there is bred within 
the mind a feeling of awe, we are ripe for experiencing the emotion 
of gratitude. We are ready to give thanks for this thing or that 
thing, and the whole state of mind represents one of intellectual 
appreciation. It represents the dawn of that sense of values and 
relationship between things and beings. It constitutes our sense of 
moral recognition, the sense of human obligation and relationship. 

We experience a feeling of gratitude when we receive some- 
thing from some source which we regard as superior—from some 
being of exalted power. We are exercised by gratitude when we 


APPENDIX 279 


are recipients of something at the hands of someone we admire 
and respect—something which we could not bestow upon ourselves. 

On the whole, gratitude is highly helpful in its emotional 
influence on health and happiness. 

8. Awe. Awe is produced by a combination of those inherent 
instincts of fear and subjection. When our instinct of fear is first 
aroused and we are faced with a superior exhibition of some 
sort, so that self-abasement functions, and we experience the emo- 
tion of subjection, then, if in connection with these primary 
instincts there is more or less of the secondary feeling of admira- 
tion, the foundation is laid whereby we may become more or less 
overwhelmed by phenomena which we cannot fully understand. 

At the bottom of our awe is always that trinity of curiosity, 
ignorance, and fear. 

Now, I fully recognize that awe may be a factor in reverence 
and worshipfulness and in such a role it is certainly sometimes 
uplifting and joy-favoring; but as it is more commonly experienced 
it probably contributes much to our fear, anxiety, and unhappiness. 
At least there always exists great danger, through ignorance, that 
awe may augment our superstitious tendencies and thus lead to all 
sorts of foolish worry and unwholesome anxiety. 

9. Reverence. ‘This is the first compound emotion we have 
considered in which we do not find as a component factor any pri- 
mary or inherited emotion (unless we are disposed to include 
curiosity and wonder). As we progress upward in the scale of 
human feelings and higher emotions, we will find more and more 
of these emotions which are built out of similar emotions, that is, 
feelings which are combinations of other composite and complex 
emotions. Reverence is the offspring of awe and gratitude, and 
this is the first point at which we come in contact with a probable 
spiritual nature in the human species. 

Reverence is that emotion, that state of mind, that basic feeling 
which is utilized by our higher mental powers or spiritual nature 
for purposes of worship. Reverence is our first fruit of the pro- 
gressive evolution of man from his physical nature up through his 
instinctive sphere and psychologic development to that higher realm 
of spiritual ideals. 

Like many other of the acquired emotions, reverence may con- 
tribute to either happiness or sorrow, depending altogether on how 
we react to its impulse. In moderation reverence leads to a 
normal attitude of worshipfulness, and it is only when such emo- 
tions lead to over-conscientiousness and religious worry that they 
can be regarded as factors of unhappiness. 


280 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


10. Envy. Envy is built out of the primary emotions of anger 
and subjection. When in the presence of something that causes 
us to experience the instinct of self-abasement, and its associated 
emotion of subjection, when this situation becomes a bit irksome 
and we grow restive in its presence, when we feel that the joys of 
living are in some way being interfered with by our superior 
fellow, then anger is aroused; we are more or less pugnacious, and 
if, in connection with this, the acquired emotion of pride is inter- 
fered with, if our elation is suppressed and our instinct for hoard- 
ing enjoined, then the foundations are all laid for the birth of 
envy. It is, of course, the basis of jealousy, and has its deeper 
roots laid in the hoarding impulse. 

We are usually envious of people because they have something 
we failed to get, or else because they have more of it than we have. 
Cruelty is no doubt many times merely the expression of sub- 
conscious envy and jealousy. 

I very much doubt if full grown envy ever ministers to our 
happiness. Sooner or later this unkind emotion reacts on our- 
selves and we come to suffer the blight of its unfair influence. Just 
in proportion to the element of anger which is present, envy comes 
to be the enemy of happiness. 

11. Remorse. Remorse is founded on the primary instinct of 
anger, and that more highly developed human sentiment which we 
call revenge (sentiments as a class we will define more fully 
presently). Now, in order to explain how anger is father to re- 
morse, we should explain that remorse is self-directed anger. It is 
a sort of sorrowful regret for one’s own acts. You should be good 
and mad at yourself for something you have done, but you can’t 
get mad at yourself as you can at another person, and so you 
temper your anger, when self-directed, into the emotional terms 
of remorse; and now, on the other hand, toward those who have 
become responsible for your self-humiliation—because we always 
seek to alibi ourselves—you have a feeling of revenge. 

The primary instinct of subjection is also a part of remorse as 
it comes into play as a result of experiencing the debasement of 
our emotion of elation. 

Remorse implies that one has passed through an emotional con- 
flict and that our choice and its resultant behavior was not such as 
to warrant the indulgence of self-approbation. We suffer remorse 
when we are thus seriously and unexpectedly disappointed in our 
decisions and conduct. 

Remorse is the mildew of the composite emotions. Remorse 
withers every noble ambition if it is long indulged. We cannot 


a 


APPENDIX 281 


hope to avoid experiencing it now and then, but we should studi- 
ously avoid its prolonged entertainment. 

We should learn early and skillfully to settle our emotional 
conflicts so as to avoid having to live more or less of our lives in 
the debilitating and enervating atmosphere of remorse. 

12. Scorn. Scorn is built out of the primary emotions of anger 
and disgust. In the presence of the instinct of repulsion we experi- 
ence the emotion of disgust, and when that with which we are 
disgusted is interfering in some way with our joy of living, then 
we have aroused our pugnacity and its associated anger, and these 
together cause us to scorn those who disgust us. Secondarily there 
comes into play the primary emotion of elation—having permitted 
ourselves to indulge in scorn, we are wont to enjoy self-assertion 
and elation. 

This whole experience connotes intellectual failure on our part 
to appraise and appreciate the worth and struggles of our own 
fellow beings. 

Scorn is seldom, if ever, a factor in human happiness. If you 
desire quickly to lose all your worth while friends just begin to 
indulge in scorn and practice cynicism. 

13. Contempt. Here is the next step in composite emotions 
and consists of a combination between the primary emotions of 
disgust and elation. It presupposes that scorn has gone before, 
and on top of disgust we are elated, we positively assert ourselves, 
and then if we will add to this the feeling of vanity as already 
defined, we have the stage all set for profound contempt. It 
represents, psychologically speaking, a state of exaggeration of 
ego on the one hand, and a cultivated over-sensitiveness to repul- 
sive things and unpleasant conditions on the other hand. 

Contempt for the ugly and for the trivial may, in an indirect 
way, be helpful to happiness; but as this emotion is so commonly 
over-indulged it can only be productive of unwholesome self- 
exaltation and hurtful intolerance. 

14. Aversion. Coming down through the scale of scorn and 
contempt, we next have aversion, a composite emotion built out of 
fear and disgust. Not only is something repulsive and therefore 
to us, disgusting, but we recognize it more or less as a rival, it 
interferes with our pleasure of life, and so we tend to give it a 
wide berth, particularly through fear as to what might be the 
outcome of too intimate a contact with the object of our aversion. 

In the end, through it all, there is the feeling of rivalry with 
its deep roots of envy. Aversion may be developed to that point 
where the fear element subsides, rivalry disappears, and disgust 


282 How You CAN K&Ep Happy 4 


develops into intensified loathing, even horror, and strange to say, 
it is sometimes in this connection that the emotion of wonder, the 
instinct of curiosity, comes into play and we ofttimes see that 
wonder is able to turn loathing into fascination. We sometimes 


become inordinately fascinated by those things that were primarily — 


exceedingly disgusting and for which we experienced the deepest 
aversion. ; 

Look with misgiving upon.the tendency toward over-develop- 
ment of aversion. While we are justified in tolerating its reason- 
able presence in the face of ugliness and wrong-doers; neverthe- 
less, we must carefully avoid becoming over-sensitive and finicky in 
the presence of the common problems and circumstances of every- 
day life. 

15. Courage. Courage is rather difficult to define. It is a 
composite emotion having for its basis, the primary emotion of 
elation, associated with the instinct of self-assertiveness. It is 
probable that courage is elation one time combined with one emo- 
tion, and another time associated with another emotion or 
emotions. 

Courage is the emotion that leads to the conduct of bravery, 
and while it may be associated with many emotions, impulses, and 
sentiments, it is characterized by the fact that it represents the 
triumph of faith over fear. When courage is in the saddle, the 
primary instinct of fear, for the time being, has been vanquished. 

Courage is the one emotion indispensable to joy and happiness. 
Self-confidence, hope, and determination are the offspring of cour- 
age. Fear is the foe of human happiness and faith is the only 
known cure for fear. Courage is always the hand-maiden of hap- 
piness and never contributes to sorrow unless it is allowed to 
overgrow to that point where it develops into foolhardiness. 

This then, represents an effort briefly to define and summarize 
these fifteen secondary composite or acquired emotions which rep- 
resent the psychologic evolutions of the twelve primary instincts 
and their accompanying emotions as already outlined. 

Now, let us see how our secondary or acquired emotions. stack 
up in relation to the happiness problem. Of fifteen compound 
emotions we find that only four are absolutely essential to happi- 
ness, and they are: sympathy, admiration, gratitude, and courage. 
Five of our acquired emotions are inimical to joy—they are sub- 
versive of happiness—and they are: awe, envy, remorse, scorn, and 
aversion. Six of our secondary emotions are somewhat neutral— 
that is, they may be utilized either for or against happiness—in 
accordance with the degree of control exercised in their manage- 


2 


APPENDIX | 283 


ment: and they are: imitation, rivalry, vanity, pride, reverence, and 
contempt. 

When our more highly organized or composite emotions be- 
come clearly defined in the consciousness, when they become cen- 
tered about somebody or something, they acquire the dignity of 
sentiments; and we should know that when we get into the realm 
of human sentiment we are face to face with such full-grown 
impulses as love, hate, and respect, not to mention the more pro- 
found and higher convictions that sometimes come to possess the 
human mind. 


Ill. Human SENTIMENTS* 


Having seen how the twelve primary inherent instincts can be 
built up into fifteen secondary or acquired emotions, now let us 
take the next step which leads us to the study of the ten human 
sentiments, which are likewise created out of our primary in- 
herited and secondary acquired emotions. When our emotions are 
coordinated and concentrated on some person or thing, when our 
impulses are thus focused, we call the feeling a sentiment. Senti- 
ments may be classified as follows: 


Sentiments Component Emotions 
1. Pity Tenderness + Sympathetic Pain 
2. Shame Self-respect wounded by self 
3. Jealousy Love + Self-abasement + Anger (Fear) 
4. Revenge Anger + Rivalry + Envy (Hate) 
5. Reproach Anger + Tenderness + Remorse 
6. Humility Subjection + Awe + Reverence 
wb lay A certain Psychic and Physical State 
8. Humor Elation + Rivalry + Vanity + Pride 
9. Love Tenderness + Sex + Respect + Sympathy 
10. Hate Anger + Fear + Disgust + Rivalry 


1. Pity. Pity has for its foundation the primary emotion of 
tenderness and a sort of sympathy which is so profound as to 
become almost painful. We are always hurt when we indulge in 
pity. There is sometimes associated with pity the subconscious 
feeling of superiority and more or less condescension. It connotes 
that we are playing the role of a charitable benefactor, and deep 
down in the subconscious mind there is the emotion of elation, 


*In the matter of sentiments, we are beholden to Shand’s concept 
of these human experiences as related to emotions and instincts, and 
indebted to him for many of the suggestions herewith presented. 


284 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


though, of course, we would never for a moment admit this to our 
more superficial consciousness, but it is nevertheless the truth that 
there is behind some forms of pity, more or less elation. 

When moderately indulged pity may augment our capacity for 
happiness, but if over-developed it undoubtedly dampens joy and 
burdens the mind with over-much anxiety. 

2. Shame. Shame is a sentiment which represents the wound- 
ing of our self-respect by oursglves. Our elation or self-assertion 
has received a blow, and our eyes are open to the fact. It is 
sometimes a very prominent factor in our expression of surprise 
and, no doubt, in the earlier life it is the chief element of so-called 
bashfulness—that is, bashfulness in its early, more or less un- 
recognized state. 

Shame lies at the bottom of much that passes for shyness and 
modesty. Shame results from the consciousness of a struggle 
going on between the primary emotions of self-assertion and self- 
abasement. We suffer from a sense of shame when anything 
occurs which will tend to lower us in the esteem of our fellows. 

Our cup of joy is hardly overflowing when we are experiencing 
shame. If our conduct is such that we must frequently come to 
be ashamed of ourselves, we must reckon that such self-conscious- 
ness is bound to detract from the sum of our personal happiness. 

3. Jealousy. Now jealousy is a sentiment. It is a deep- 
rooted affair. It is a combination of self-abasement, with its feel- 
ing of subjection and inferiority, in association with the fear 
emotion. It embraces more or less of the love impulse and then, 
on top of all this, there is present an element of anger. 

Our happiness, we feel, is being jeopardized. Pugnacity asserts 
itself. We propose to offer resistance, and anger comes in as the 
first speaker of this emotional trio. Of course, it is nearly always 
anger for a third person, and sometimes with a lessening of the 
feeling of tenderness for the second person, and further, as factors 
in the composition of this green-eyed monster, we must put down 
envy and wounded pride. 

Probably only a mother’s love is so unselfish as to demand no 
reciprocation and therefore be incapable of jealousy. While ani- 
mals and very young children seem to be resentful of attentions 
paid to other individuals, such sensitiveness can hardly be regarded 
as full grown jealousy, since the latter sentiment presupposes the 
presence of a highly developed consciousness in association with 
profound love and affection. 

We are exercised by jealousy when the one we love gives to 
another that affection and devotion which we think belongs to us. 


ee ae 


es 


APPENDIX 285 


We come to feel an emotion of ownership in our friends and loved 
ones—and the loss of their devotion wounds our pride and self- 
esteem. When one’s self-regarding sentiment has been severely 
wounded, then there is likelihood of arousing the vengeful emotion 
associated with resentment and anger. 

The green-eyed monster is ever the foe of happiness. If we 
permit jealousy to dominate the soul, joy is certain to depart. 
There is a sordid selfishness associated with this sentiment that 
precludes the presence of a peaceful and tranquil state of mind. 

4. Revenge. Revenge is a complicated, deep-seated human 
emotion. It starts out as rivalry, then grows into envy; disap- 
pointment breeds anger; and in the end it is sometimes propelled 
by that demon of all human sentiments, hate. We may become 
angry, as it were, at an insult which assails our elation and assaults 
our ego. We may seek retaliation because of some real or fancied 
wrong. It may be that a social struggle has challenged our 
pugnacity and thus aroused our anger and in the end embittered 
us to the indulgence of hate. Revenge is the full growth of 
tolerated bitterness and emotional disappointment. 

Our whole system of law, penalties, and punishments, is but an 
effort to substitute the machinery of public justice for the older 
order of private vengeance. The desire for revenge follows on the 
heels of conscious resentment. We more particularly resent public 
slights or insults and our vengeful emotion is shown in our studied 
efforts to “get even” with the offender. 

We also resent insult or injury to our family, tribe, or country, 
and thus may develop family feuds and national animosities with 
their bloodshed and-wars. The savage, ofttimes, when brooding 
over his insult and while engaged in contemplation of his revenge, 
is found to “sulk in his tent.” 

Vengeance is a deliberated sort of resentment in contrast with 
the sudden and unrestrained emotional reaction of anger; though 
all revenge is rooted in anger—the pugnacious instinct. 

The soul who seeks revenge is sad and self-centered. Joy 
attends the forgiving spirit while sorrow and regret are the final 
rewards of all who allow their better natures to be ravaged by 
the barbarous desire for personal vengeance. 

5. Reproach. Reproach represents human anger modified by 
the primary emotion of tenderness and restrained with the sec- 
ondary feeling of remorse. It represents a state of mind which 
betokens the exercise of self-control and suggests the possibility 
of administering correction and giving criticism under the guidance 
of reason and judgment. 


286 How You CAN KEEP HAppy 


When a person we love does a thing distasteful to us, we 
reproach them, we exclaim—‘Oh, how could you do it!” If 
another had offended us in similar fashion our anger would have 
been aroused. 

This is a sentiment that can easily be made to serve the ends 
of either happiness or sorrow—depending on how much intel- 
ligence and corrective planning attends its indulgence. Wisely 
exercised reproach may lead to repentance and reform; over- 
indulged, it can bring about” undue depression and protracted 
sorrow. 

6. Humility. The sentiment of humility is founded on the 
primary emotion of subjection, self-abasement, in connection with 
the secondary composite emotions of awe and reverence, and its 
real understanding is to be found in the individual natures of 
these components. Humility is often mistaken for piety, and 
sometimes what we call humility is merely the manifestation of 
some physical disease or the outward exhibition of an unfortunate 
inferiority complex. | 

Like reproach, humility can be made to minister to both joy 
and sorrow. Undoubtedly, a normal state of humility predisposes 
one to the reception of many blessings in disguise; while over-much 
self-depreciation can only bring on depression and sorrow. We 
must maintain a reasonable self-respect if we are to retain the 
joys of wholesome elation. 

7. Play. The biology and psychology of play are more or less 
obscure. The play emotions are hard to isolate and define. There 
is room here for almost endless discussion—there are at least a 
half dozen different theories respecting play, its nature and origin. 

The play tendencies of individuals and peoples are largely 
influenced by the behavior of the ductless gland system—the tem- 
perament. Disposition is the sum total of our inherited instincts 
and their associated emotions. Character is the final product of 
our habit formations, our acquired characteristics based on both 
our disposition and temperament. 

Play is altogether too complex to be a simple instinct. It is 
likewise too complicated to be classed as an emotion. It seems 
best to include it among the more highly organized sentiments or 
emotions. 


Play is closely related to joy, and joy is synonymous with happi- 


ness. We cannot study happiness and overlook play. 

Whatever we may say about play, we are compelled to recog- 
nize that it is almost wholly the servant of joy. Play is the real 
sentiment of good cheer, good will, and good times. Human 


APPENDIX | 287 


beings are unquestionably most happy when they are in the midst 
of their care-free and childlike play. 

8. Humor. Humor is probably founded on the basic emotion 
of elation connected with the inherent instinct of self-assertion. 
We no doubt feel just a bit superior to everything that excites our 
humor. It is sometimes difficult always to sustain this definition. 
There is also an element of rivalry in humor. We enjoy the joke 
just a little better when we have gotten the best of the other 
fellow. 

We laugh just a little more heartily when the other fellow 
steps on a banana peel than we do when we pass through the 
same experience ourselves. There is an element of vanity in 
humor, and probably some pride, though we must admit that of all 
human emotions, more particularly sentiments, this one of humor 
is the most difficult to define and we are not at all satisfied with 
any definition that has thus far been formulated. There is an 
undoubted temperamental bias to all our humor. 

Like play, humor is always and consistently the hand-maiden 
of joy. Seldom, if ever, does good humor culminate in sorrow. 
Humor is a sentiment peculiarly and exclusively human and a 
“Sood story” can always be depended upon to promote good fellow- 
ship and develop the cheery side of human nature. If you would 
add to the sum of your happiness—cultivate your bump of humor. 

9. Love. We are now rapidly reaching the climax of human 
sentiments—those complex and composite components of feeling 
and emotion. Human love is founded on the emotion of tender- 
ness, having its root in the parental instinct. It next branches out 
and takes root in the sex-hunger emotion, having its association 
with the reproductive instinct; and then the element of sympathy 
appears. ‘There is not only the feeling of tenderness in sex- 
companionship, but also of increased security from association with 
our fellows. In a small way, the gregarious instinct is enacting 
its role; there is safety in numbers, and then there comes into play 
that human emotion which is so difficult to define, that which we 
call respect; we have not included it among the emotions, nor 
among the sentiments, but we bring it in here as an attribute, as 
an auxiliary of love. 

Love is that peculiar feeling of adoration and affection for a 
person that we have come to regard as the one among a thousand 
and altogether to be desired over and above all the rest of creation. 
Love is a full-grown sentiment. It is the sentiment of sentiments ; 
the all-embracing emotion of emotions; the supreme passion, and 
of course, it varies in degree and nature according to its component 


288 How You CAN KEEP HAPPpy 


parts and in accordance with the mind and character of the 
individual whom it exercises. 

Love is a sentiment—a state of mind—and it may well be the 
center of affection around which may gravitate a host of other 
profound emotions and sentiments—even convictions. As one 
psychologist has pointed out, when a man has acquired the senti- 
ment of love for a fellow being he is apt to experience the tender 
emotion when in the presence of this person, fear or anxiety when 
the loved one is in danger, anger when his friend is threatened, 
and sorrow if anything serious befalls this individual. 

Likewise, we rejoice when our friends prosper, and feel grateful 
toward those who befriend or assist our loved ones. 

Love is the one divine element in human nature. Love is the 
well-spring of our profoundest joys and the tap-root of our most 
superb and sublime happiness. While the wounding of our love 
may instigate the keenest suffering, while the failure to reciprocate 
our affection may cause the bitterest of disappointment; neverthe- 
less, the whole experience of loving and being loved is so trans- 
cendent—so human—and so everlastingly beautiful, that we can 
only reckon that the whole experience, from first to last—up hill 
and down, through sunshine and storm—I say, the net result of all 
love is to ennoble the mind and inspire the soul, while it enor- 
mously expands our capacity to experience joy and happiness. 

10. Hate. Having reached, in love, the acme of sentimental 
development, it only remains for us to define hate. Hate is, after 
a fashion, nothing more nor less than perverted, misdirected love. 
It represents the prostitution of sentiment, so that the place of 
respect and love comes to be occupied by a terrible quartet of 
anger, fear, disgust, and rivalry. 

Hate is the full-grown sentimental counterpart of the magnifi- 
cent impulse we call love, and of course, it also likewise varies in 
degree in accordance with its component emotions and is modified 
by the character of the one who indulges it. 

Little need be said about hate and its relation to happiness. 
We all know that hate is incompatible with joy. There is simply 
no way to get comfort and delight out of the indulgence of hate— 
it is truly the arch-demon of all the little devils who are sub- 
versive of joy and destructive of happiness. 

This, then, is the story of human sentiments. It should be 
remembered in this connection that pleasure and pain are not 
emotions. They are feeling tones that serve either to prolong or 
cut short other emotions. Excitement and depression likewise play 
the same role. 


APPENDIX 289 


Of all ten of our sentiments we find that only three are really 
essential to happiness and they are: play, humor, and love. Like- 
wise, three sentiments are capable of lending their influence to 
either joy or sorrow—depending on how much control and good 
judgment enters into their indulgence, and they are: pity, reproach, 
and humility. Four of our master sentiments are almost wholly 
and invariably subversive of joy—and they are: shame, jealousy, 
revenge and hate. 

Sorrow is a term used synonymously with grief. It represents 
the opposite of happiness. It is after all hardly a sentiment nor an 
emotion. It is a sort of feeling tone; one might define sorrow as 
representing degrees of feeling tone. Sorrow is aroused by extremes 
of emotion, by a mixture of sentiment and overruling passions. It 
implies the overthrow of our hopes, ambitions, and affections, and 
is the feeling we experience when we suffer the agony of remorse 
and despair. ; 

Joy, like sorrow, is a term connoting degrees of feeling tone. 
Both joy and sorrow may qualify all other emotions. We may 
have any degree of sorrow and likewise any degree of joy asso- 
ciated with any and all other human emotions and sentiments. 

Joy is perhaps most typically expressed in our play functions, 
when we have an opportunity for self-display in association with 
extremes of pleasurable emotions, enjoyable master sentiments, and 
impassioned happiness. 

Happiness constitutes our thesis at this time and it stands for 
that psychic and physical state of being which represents the sum 
total of pleasure that can be experienced by a highly developed 
personality. Happiness is the ideal of human existence. It is the 
realization of joy raised to the nth power, and joy is that feeling 
of happiness which may qualify and intensify all other human 
emotions. 

Joy is the degree of pleasurable feeling aroused by any and all 
intense emotions, master sentiments, strong passions, and profound 
convictions. 


IV. Human Convictions 


We have now come to know how twelve basic inherent in- 
stincts and their accompanying emotions can be combined and 
organized into fifteen secondary or composite emotions, and how 
still further, these twelve primary emotions and fifteen secondary 
emotions are capable of being concentrated upon some object or 
person and thus can be combined and built up into the ten master 
sentiments of human experience. 


290 How You CAN KEEP HAPPY 


Now we are ready for the next step. These primary instincts 
and secondary emotions, together with their more complex resul- 
tant sentiments, constitute the material out of which we build the 
seven controlling convictions of human experience, and they may 
be classified as follows: 


Controlling Convictions Component Sentiments 


1. Friendship Pity -+- Sympathy + Love 
2. Altruism Elation + Pity + Sympathy 
3. Patriotism Security + Rivalry + Pride + Vanity 
4. Religion Wonder + Fear + Gratitude + Subjection 
5. Occupational 
Loyalty Security + Pride + Rivalry 


Family Loyalty Tenderness + Sex + Pride + Jealousy 
Social Conventions Fear + Security + Shame + Pride 


SID 


In further explanation of our convictions we may offer the fol- 
lowing suggestions. 
1. Friendship. Friendship is the first and basic human con- 


viction. It is more than an emotion, it is greater than an impulse, . 


it transcends a sentiment. “There is something profound about 
friendship. It is undoubtedly based on the sentiment of love, and 
has in association with it many other human emotions, including 
no doubt, both sympathy and pity. 


Friendship is the equivalent of love plus loyalty and more or — 


less of the sex element. It is much the profoundest of human 
emotions, and it is so influential in human experience that there 
appears to be no lengths to which it will not go to assert itself 
and to justify the reality of its existence. 

2. Altruism. Altruism is also a conviction, at least with many 
people. It is no doubt, founded on the basic emotion of elation 
connected with the instinct of self-assertion. We have a peculiar 
pride and satisfaction in knowing that we are big enough and good 
enough and kind enough to be altruistic. Then the emotions of 
both sympathy and pity come in for their part. We are sympa- 
thetic with those we help and sometimes we go so far as to pity 
them. In fact, altruism is a sort of glorified pity, exalted sym- 
pathy, idealized elation, if you please—a species of social patriotism. 

3. Patriotism. Patriotism is no doubt founded on the primary 
emotion of security, associated with the herd instinct. We defend 
our country and are patriotic to our institutions because we need 
them, we need their protection. The element of rivalry comes in, 
starting out sometimes quite innocently and ending, when our own 


APPENDIX 291 


security is threatened, with the arousal of pugnacity and its accom- 
panying anger, and that, many times, means war. Also in our 
patriotism there come the emotions of pride and vanity, although 
we would not care to push these to the foreground in our own 
consciousness. Patriotism simply means loyalty to the common 
herd. It is a species of social courage. 

Many an individual coward is patriotic in crowds—he is brave 
when he is in the army, but he would not be so patriotic if he 


’ should be left alone in the defense of his ideals. Patriotism is a 


sort of camouflaged pride, a species of disguised anger, rivalry, and 
revenge which we persuade ourselves is justified by the circum- 
stances of the hour. 

4. Religion. Religion is a conviction having its roots in right- 
eous indignation, which is so often aroused by the emotion of 
tenderness connected with the instinct of parental love and devo- 
tion. From a biologic standpoint, from a psychologic standpoint, 
religion grows out of wonder and curiosity. We can’t help but 
speculate as to what is beyond the skies, and the life that may 
exist beyond this one. The element of fear also comes in. Igno- 
rance always tends to beget the feeling of subjection and self- 
abasement, and then perhaps of gratitude for the things we do 
enjoy, and thankfulness for the things which we come to possess. 

Religion is, after all, merely that behavior which is dictated 
by conscience and directed by one’s spiritual mentor, assuming that 
mankind is indwelt by some sort of spiritual entity. 

5. Occupational loyalty. We all enjoy being loyal to our firm 
and business connections, our profession, our trade, etc., or to our 
social set. This human conviction is likewise based on the feeling 
of security, the safety that comes from tribal association. It has 
also in it the emotions of pride and rivalry, much after the fashion 
of patriotism. We like to be loyal to the satisfaction of our 
creative pride, the fact that we have constructed things. It is a 
form of clan or minor herd pride. 

6. Family loyalty. Family loyalty is a deep conviction. It 
grows out of the primary instincts of tenderness and sex, into 
which the more shifting and unstable emotional elements of pride 
and jealousy play-a varying part. It is the basis of human society 
and embraces a wide range of emotions and sentiments. ‘The 
home with its association of husband and wife and the rearing of 
children, and then this group’s contact with the outer world, is one 
that develops some of the highest instincts and emotions, and most 
noble sentiments resident within the human species. It is the basis 
of the ideal of social life in this world. 


292 How You CAN KEEP HAppy 


7. Social conventions. The conviction that we should be more 
or less loyal to the conventions of society, has for its origin the 
two primary emotions of security and fear. We feel more secure 
in the tribe and we feel safer if we live as the tribe lives. But the 
tribal taboos, the social requirements, are important to keep, not 
only because of this security, but because we want the respect and 
admiration of our fellows. 

Then, too, the element of, fear definitely prevails here. We 
fear the result of ignoring the time-honored customs and traditions 
of our race and kin. Still further, the element of pride comes in. 
If we obey we are exemplary citizens. If we disobey we bear the 
stigma of reproach. And still further there is an element of 
shame. We don’t want to be numbered among the sinners and 
inferiors. Of course, this whole conviction is largely a matter of 
education, training, and social example, and here, for the first 
time, we arrive at the place where education becomes the domi- 
nant role, the chief factor in the creation of a human conviction. 

And so we see that it is possible for education, training, and 
self-discipline to modify the factors of happiness and to do so by 
increasing or decreasing the control of our emotions, sentiments, 
and convictions. 

In general, we must recognize that all of the controlling con- 
victions of human nature are contributory to the sum of human 
happiness. True, our convictions do contain emotional elements, 
which if they are allowed to gain the ascendancy, may be able to 
lessen our joys and alloy our happiness; but, on the whole, as 
commonly exercised and experienced, our convictions may be re- 
garded as powerful allies of abiding joy, true happiness, and su- 
preme satisfaction. 


fase 
- ernie 


ony 


097570 


